Tips or Books That Help Mama Keep Her Cool?

The Netflix documentary Food Matters talks about how food/supplements effects mood. High doses of Vitamin C and Niacin and St John's Wart, calming down with chamomile tea can really help with mood. Supplements and vitamins have less negative side effects than meds do.

As for calming techniques, Dr. Sears is an expert in this field. He has some great discipline advice here:
http://askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior

But his specific post of remaining calm as an angry parent is here:
http://askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior/5-ways-p...

I promise you, and I can't tell you when it will happen, but you will find that you understand that all the chaos and frustration and yelling and momma momma momma is just them learning how to be a good human and it won't frustrate you so bad.

I can tell you I had my moments of ripping my hair out and feeling like I was about to go postal on someone when I had my first 2 younguns. But now that I've had my last, I can tell you it's NIGHT AND DAY from the way I parented. Suddenly that fit, no longer got on my nerves because I knew it wasn't so that he could just throw one but that something wasn't right. And that poop all over him wasn't a vindetta to get me to shut down what ever I was doing just so I could clean him up, he was JUST as upset about it. And that whining he did when he wanted his way, really wasnt him being a brat but he was pushing my buttons so he could learn a boundary.

I don't know how it happened. But some day, and I hope its soon, you'll look at all that is going on and smile...because this will not last forever...and you'll be able to take a deep breath and deal...

As for supplements: St Johns Wort is what I took for a while with no adverse effects (that was ages ago so that may have changed now) and I find that if I'm active I seem to keep a clearer head about what's going on around me. I also find that if I don't take ME time, no one's going to give it to me. And it IS OK for you to say that you need it in order to function. Heck, even God took a day off.

As for activities for "cabin fever" me and mine always made tents/forts/etc in the living room with blankets and such and had picnics in the floor of the living room and we pretty much went outside even if it was for 5 minutes, every day when we lived in Ohio (they were as young as 5 and NB then).

I'm sending good thoughts your way.

For starters stop breathe lol very important you know that breathing thing lol. Well foods that affect your mood if your constantly trashing your body out with to much coffee and sugar and processed food there's a problem. I start my day off by getting up 35 mins. earlier than everyone else to have some me time. Mood Boosting Foods in the morning are as followed: Greek Yogurt, Eggs, Grapefruit, Watermelon, Blueberries and there are many more. When my son was the age of your children I made breakfast fun I had a small cabinet with fake veggies, fruits and empty boxes of snackage (made up mommy word). He would go to the cabinet and say mom I would like a banana and he would pull it out and I would give him a real one on place of a fake one . I also just started a new system my son is 9 now and he has two charts in his room One is is itinerary happy chart and has what to do in the morning before school make bed, brush teeth , eat breakfast and so he has to mark those off when done the afternoon snack, homework, read for 30mins. , arts and crafts clean up time , dinner shower, tidy room and such. The second chart is called the money chart clean room 20cents bathroom 25cents picking up pines 75cents if we have to tell him to do these things he does not get paid like i said I know your kids are smaller but maybe you can create something similar to have more structure which very calming to children and adults the thing is are you strong enough to stick to your guns lol once you have created a template such as this it creates flow and not only are you happy with less stress but so is everyone else. If you have any other questions throw them my way I will be glad to give you more advise. Have a fabulous day:)

The Chemistry of Calm by Henry Emmons, an integrative medicine psychiatrist from Northfield who is well known in the twin cities metro.

Unstuck by James Gordon, a psychiatrist from the East Coast with global trauma programs.

Anything by Scott Shannon, an integrative child and adolescent psychiatrist.

Wine!! Only kidding... but if you can swing it, a 5 minute meditation during your day will help you a bunch! I learned this in my MA program and thought it was BS but it really is beneficial!! Longer ones are even better but if you can even manage a 5 min one while your little ones are watching a show or something and you just go into the other room, close your eyes and breathe. Do nothing but listen to your breath. Also know that next year at this time your life will be much easier!! 2 is a HARD age! You're doing awesome, keep it up :)

Well, since my kids are all grown I can tell you I can relate to stress and yelling and staying calm, or not, but now that it's all done and I miss my little ones so much even though I love them grown too, I can see how I let things bother me sometimes that were nothing to be bothered about. You need to tell yourself that this is a new day. Kids will do things but these things will not be the important part of the day. Let the tantrum be a tantrum and know it will pass today and hope you can teach that child how to control them and obey better, let the spills be cleaned up, let the fighting be part of growing up but also take time to tell them to love each other. It's a 'job' really and yet a fun one because you get to enjoy the kids if you will let yourself. You just have to tell yourself it's part of the day. I had my first two who were a year apart partly empty our refrigerator twice, smash food in carpet, etc., etc. I let it almost ruin my month and was so upset at being a failure and 'why' did they do it, etc. They did it because they were two little boys who were a mess but they did learn and it was nothing to get so upset about. Either way I had to clean it up. I know this may not help much but I wish you could learn this without the medication, good for you, and that you could really treasure each day with your kids, sick or not, having a tantrum or not, whatever. Teach them calmly and love them and value each day. You have to make the choice and I don't know that a book or medication or anything can make you do it, only you can do that. I'm sorry you are in the rough patch though and hope you can get past it quickly.

Hi B.,
Sigh. I hear ya. Mine are 3 and 5 and I yell WAY too much every day that I am home with them. It makes me sad, b/c I never thought it would be so hard for me to control myself around my own kids. But I am working on it. One book that I read about 2 years ago was "She's Gonna Blow" by Julie Ann Barnhill. It helped me gain a slightly different perspective. It may sound silly, but I seriously pray about keeping my cool and being patient with them now. I also try to get out of the house with them for part of the day. That seems to help distract them and give me a chance to cool down. And finally, my husband and I are trying to schedule in more regular opportunities for me to have time by myself. These times are still not as regular as I would like, but it is a start. If it makes you feel better, the last book I bought (still haven't had time to read) is "Am I Messing Up My Kids?" by Lysa Terkeurst. Hang in there. And give yourself grace - we are ALL works in progress!

One tip from a teacher is that if I get tense or stressed out or raise my voice, the kids' behavior gets worse. If I stay calm and in control, then I really am in control of the whole room. I guess I would try to remember that if you lose your cool, you will have lost the battle.

You could try meditation or yoga, or perhaps read a book about Zen Buddhism. Or just practice deep breathing.

I there now and I try to remember that they feed off me, so I ask them to do something in a way that they don't have a choice and reward them when they have done something without me having to remind them or ask, and I try to notice when they do something nice my reward is a hug or a praise direct right at them, I don't say well you sister already has done such and such that makes them go against each other instead I ask each to help the other and tell them thank you, mine just want my attention so I give it when they least expect it. I feel they do things to make me upset just to get a reaction so I try to stay postive. It is hard trust me I get the way you are describing. They want to play with you stop and play who cares if the laundry needs folding or the dishes are on the table. I ask mine to help I ask if they help me with the table or folding the towels then we can play barbie or read. they jump up and help and we play for a bit and then they play together.

The Happiest Toddler on the Block by H. Karp
helps you to see what they're going through and how to diffuse things