Time Out - Macks Creek,MO

I dont recommend comparing your child to a pet from your first response.
Time outs worked for my daughter. I always start with couting to 3 to her and if she hasnt calmed down she gets sent to her room for a time out. We started with a minute or two. Then when she learned to count we had her count to 10 or 20. When she started counting really fast to run out her room we finally bought a timer. We go by her age for how long shes in time out, so she gets three minutes since shes three years old.

Timeout for a 16 month old should last no longer than 1 minute. Which would seem like FOREVER for her.

We did use time out at this age for my daughter with a combination of other tecniques (distraction, positive reinforcement, etc). I would physically remove her from a situation as well if it was a dangerous one (such as removing the outlet covers, etc). It was to the point that I could put her in time out in any location at any time by age 2. It was like an invisible restraint. She would do something like hit her friend and I'd put her in time out right there in the park. I wouldn't move her or touch her, but she hated that she had to sit still for a minute. At about 4, she realized that nothing was actually preventing her from moving or making her own fun in time out so I had to become very specific and give her something to think about (what she did, why it's wrong, what she will do next time). She can get out once she can answer those questions. I think timeout is a lovely tool that is very flexible.

YES do the time outs but more importantly, start using 1-2-3 Magic. When she starts the temper tantrums count 1, wait 6-10 seconds, if it doesn't stop she gets a 2, again wait, if it STILL persists then she goes to 3 and a time out for 1 minute per year old she is. Time out doesn't START until the tantrum stops...so whether she's sitting on a step or in her room...as long as the meltdown is going on the timer doesn't start. Once it has stopped, then she can serve her time out and rejoin the family. The principle is also not to talk about the behavior after the sentence is served...slate wiped clean...start over...if the behavior starts again repeat with the 1-2-3....I'll GUARANTEE within a week you will be seeing a MAJOR improvement! I saw it turn my kids around in less than 3 days, but some others are more stubborn... There are also classes on this as well as books and videos. You can probably get them at your local library.

Other parenting clases that I thought helped alot were Common Sense Parenting and Love and Logic. Our local school district would offer the classes for free so I'd sign up every chance I got just to get more interaction with parents and to see how others dealt with similar situations.

Yeah, I learned the hard way spanking and hand slapping didn't work...just ends up teaching them to hit back or that when they get mad they can hit...Nope, time outs seem hokey but it's basically a behavior modification and time for them to sit and reflect on what they did (or at the very least be bored because they are missing out on family fun).

As for the throwing to the floor, I usually walked away from it. Eventually, my kids learned that type of behavior didn't work with me. I'd also embarass them in Wal-mart when they'd start with the meltdowns when I wouldn't buy them what they wanted...parents would just look at me like I was crazy "why don't you shut your kid up" and I'd look at them and say, "isn't it aweful that I won't buy my kid everything they want? I'm such a bad parent!" They'd just laugh and eventually the kids learned that the fits didn't work there either...LOL...not to mention, it always gave several shoppers a good laugh to know that their kids weren't the only ones that pulled those stunts...LOL.

Hang in there...this is the time when she's going to start pushing the limits with you and testing to see what she can get away with...stay firm and remember you're in charge, not her. LOL ;)

Hi A.,
I think 16 months is NOT to early to do some kind of consequence. I've been trying time out with my 20 month old but haven't found a way to keep her there without me holding her there. I would agree to just do one minute, it is always one minute for their age.

Soap box ;) Kids whose 3 year olds are out of control or the terrible two's, I believe, are completely a case of ignoring the early signs of children testing us that have esculated to extreme degrees.

Blessings,
Amanda

normally I would say no at this age, but it seems like shes a little ahead of her time here. I think setting her somewhere like timeout, just tell her no, sit her there, if she gets up, dont say anything and just keep putting her back. Hope this helps! Good luck!

At this age I do not consider it time out at all. It's more like when you are training a puppy. Consider this as a comparison.

You take a little puppy and put them in a very small kennel (play pen). You put safe toys in the kennel. Every 30-45 minutes during the waking hours you take him outside and praise him for going potty if he does. If he does, you give him some time to play in the house. At first, you will be lucky if he can go 10 minutes in the house without peeing. When he does, you calmly put him back in the kennel after telling him no.

30-45 minutes later you repeat the lesson. Each time you hope the time he is out playing in the house will last a bit longer before he does something he has to be put back in the kennel for. In my house, I put my puppy back if he gets into the garbage, cat box, has an accident, or jumps on someone.

This really is exactly how it should be with a baby. There is no way to know exactly when the light goes on in them. But even when it does go on, as in they understand they are not to {fill in the blank}, they have their own will and they will try again and again to exercise their will over yours. My puppy (now a year old) still does this. Consequently, he really likes his kennel, which we now call his house. He feels comfortable in there. It's his space. He likes to be out. But he's not unhappy in his house.

This is how I handle it with young children and eventually you realize you hardly ever put them in the pack and play anymore.

Suzi