E.D.
I hear yah sister. It's similar for me.
I guess we can use it as practice in letting go. Let a sleeping dog lay / no use feeding the fire.
How do you personally make an issue go away?
In cases, such as tonight's forum, I simply try very hard to refrain from responding.
In cases, which directly impact my life, I try very hard to address the issue in a timely, researched manner. I also try very hard not to be ruled by my emotions. This is really tough sometimes - especially when my DH & I are butting heads! I do much better with my sons, but find that my Sis can really trigger me....without really trying - which I also consider to be quite amusing when I think about how we can fall back into childhood patterns. :)
Sooo, how do you address issues, particularly those you find offensive?
I hear yah sister. It's similar for me.
I guess we can use it as practice in letting go. Let a sleeping dog lay / no use feeding the fire.
I was very passionate when I was younger, good and bad.
I gave a lot but fought a lot, scream a lot.
Something change, I honestly can't tell you what, perhaps I am just getting old, lol.
But now, I just get quiet. I went all the other way. I get annoyed when my husband talks and talks, I just want to go grumbling some place and either move on or fix it. We can talk about it once, but not twice and surely not more than that.
BUT, he sometimes gets advantage of this, he knows is not sign of me being submissive, I just don't like the talk and talk.
So just 3 days ago, he stared with his talk, and I just scream right back.
He was shock, I just remind him that is not that I can't talk or scream, I just opt to not, but if me being quiet means he will talk for hours then may as well I will talk to, and I must remind him, I was not always this nice.
We are having a very calm week after that.
Sorry I went long, I think I had to much caffeine today, I really should go sleep. =*)
Well, I used to be disgusted
Now I try to be amused....
(Angels Wanna Wear) My Red Shoes
-Elvis Costello
:)
I go to the source of my issue. Gossip and going to you if I have a problem with Jane isn't going to solve the problem. It could make it worse.
I tell my girls that gossip is bad and we play the telephone game. I've shown them that with just 4 people - words get messed up. Go to the source. If you don't go to the source, you can't fix it.
You have options. You can go to the source or you can ignore it. Sometimes just ignoring it and considering the source is the best way to handle it as some don't want to settle a dispute. They thrive on the gossip and trying to turn others against another. It's called drama. And they NEED it.
I go on to the next question. It's voluntary to answer.
I have my "go to" people to talk it out with typically. IF it is an "on the spot" have to take care of it now, I am typically an aggressive sort who will assert my dominance over the situation - sometimes it works sometimes it fails, but it is how I operate as a person. Typically, I am adult enough to walk away and seek my advisors.