Though decission...please Advice

Does he work for this new company? Is this a job you would want to do? With a small child and an abusive husband, are you comfortable leaving the child with him while you travel?

Why is it a problem that your ex-boss recommended you for a job? To me, it sounds like he likes and respects you and wants you to have a better opportunity. Maybe he feels guilty that you were fired.

So, I say go for it.

As for your marriage, why would you stay with a man that abuses you in every possible way?

Although the job sounds like an opportunity for you to gain independence and ultimately confidence, I still see lots of red flags.

Do you still have a crush on ex-boss? Are you hoping something is there for you with him? Have you ever been in outside sales? Whoo hoo.... a car and a laptop... you have that now, right? A car and laptop are not "free" if you are in outside sales..... there are restrictions on how they are used. Outside sales is hard work and a lot of pressure because you are expected to perform and bring in the numbers or.... you're fired. Are you ready to add that pressure to your already over pressured life?

Most importantly, if I lived with an abuser as you say you do... there is no way in he$$ I would leave my child with that abuser while I was on the road for a job. Why do you stay with a known abuser. There are shelters everywhere set up to help moms like you.

You need to dig down very deeply within yourself to figure out what you need to do. I suggest you let your counselor read this question so he/she can help you sort out your priorities. Your child should be your priority and I can't believe you would be willing to go on the road without that child and knowingly leave him/her with a known abuser and druggie.

Forget about ex-boss.... you don't need the extra drama and don't read into his helping you as a possible relationship down the road. Maybe he feels guilt that you got fired and is simply trying to help someone out... not get in a relationship. You need to separate yourself from this ex-boss and get YOUR life straight before you start thinking in terms of another relationship.

Best wishes to you.

If you husband is abusive you need to leave, this new job could help you do that. Dont worry about your ex boss, who cares what his intentions are, you need to learn to stand on your own two feet without any man in your life until you figure out how to not be co-dependent on an abusive man.

Too much left unsaid here. I understand that your co-dependent behaviors have confused your compass on how to relate in certain situations. I understand your struggle. I don't think you can count on the best advice from this site considering all the factors we don't know. Lean on your counselor. Let him/her help you with this difficult decision.

The thing that concerns me is the coexistence of "husband is abusive in every way" and "going to make my marriage work."

Huh?

Not trying to be cold here but say you were living with a crack addict. So you really feel you could "make it work" when he's unwilling to get help & seek recovery? That, my dear, might be the definition of insanity.

With those two issues in your life, I don't think ANY job is going to change anything about your life. I'm sorry. Good luck.

Take the job, travel, get out of the house and start developing some independence. Once you start getting a good feeling about working and being out there on your own you'll start to see hubby for what he is. An bad person deep inside.

I say take the job and take the time while you're traveling to realize you can be on your own and be a whole fulfilled person.

Once you are that person you're hubby will either start treating you differently or he'll go off the deep end. Then you'll be free to stand on your own 2 feet and live with your child.

This job is just the first step in a long line of new experiences. With the higher income you'll also have more security. Please put half your wages in a safe secure account hubby has no access to.

Take the job. Leave the husband.

I have a question for you. If the new job involves travel, who will watch your 3 year old? Will you leave him with your abusive spouse? Is that safe for him? I was ready to say, take the job, but not if it means leaving your child in an unsafe home.

should you have stayed in school? Yes

Your husband is abusive and you stay, that in turn means you are condoning this behavior. Some day your child will immolate it and whose fault will that be? YOURS. Take the job, better pay= being able to financially be able to leave this man. It won't get better. And by staying you are also mentally abusing your child. Children with abusive parents internalize things, your child may be blaming themselves for your husbands actions. Also what is going to happen as this child becomes older and disagrees with his father. I tell you what your husband will then turn his rage on your child. And don't kid yourself by saying your husband would never do this to your child. If allowed to continue your husband will become more out of control. Your child very well could end up resenting you. And as the child gets older he will see how dad acts and treat you the same way when you try to parent and the child doesn't like what you have to say. Who really cares about your ex boss. That again would be your decision if anything ever occurs with him. All you have to do is say NO. Please for your childs sake GET THE HELL away from your husband. This doesn't sound like a marriage but more like your his servant, maid as well as a whipping post. Take the job, gain financial freedom, get out and live a happy peaceful life that you not only deserve but you OWE your child.

I'm not going to address the job situation, but do you REALLY want your child to see your example of how a marriage should be?

Your husband is abusive.... maybe at this point it is only toward you... however, your child is seeing by example on the type of relationship he/she should be in when he/she grows up. If it is a boy, he will most likely treat his partner the same way he sees his daddy treat you. If it is a girl, she will see this as a totally normal type of relationship and probably end up with an abusive partner.

Think LONG and hard about whether you want to continue in this relationship... think about what it is doing to your child, also.

Fine... you already see you are co-dependent, and hang onto him emotionally. What is your therapist saying you should do? Will this marriage work if the partner isn't willing to see that he needs to change?

You really need to look at the relationship and try to break away from him, if only for your child's sake.

I suggest you're over thinking this. What does it matter what your ex-boss' intentions are? If you're thinking he wants to spend time with you it still doesn't matter. You are able to say no to him.

I remember your post talking about how you were fired. I see this present post and concern more about what are you going to do with your marriage. Sounds like you enjoy thinking that this man is interested in you even tho you have no information that would show he is. You're not happy with your marriage but are not doing anything about either improving it or getting out. By focusing on this ex-boss you don't have to deal with your marriage.

I suggest you take te existence of this man out of your decision making. Decide based only on your own needs and how the job fits in your life as it is now or how it will help you make a change.

Why did you open a new account? I wonder if doing so is symptomatic of your scattered way of thinking.

Take the job and hide in a shelter nearby until they (shelter) can help you get the protection and healing you and your son need.