This Is Where the Heart Is....

I was going to respond in much the same way as Denise. Keep open communications with the mother and the children. Restate the rules and consequences and be consistent with adhering to them.

I want to mention one other thing that is sometimes hard for us as parents to remember. I worked in a daycare center a few years ago. Part of my training focused on recognizing and dealing with "age appropriate behaviors". These are behaviors that any child of a particular age could exhibit. Sometimes they are unwanted behaviors - biting, hitting, telling false stories, etc. While they may not be "socially appropriate" they do happen and they are part of the growing and learning process. As parents or caregivers we need to be aware that these behaviors are normal but we also need to teach kids more suitable behaviors and let them know there are consquences for continuing the unwanted behaviors. Good luck!

Open communication and neutrality will best serve this situation. Take some time to look at the facts - concrete facts - with no assumptions, emotions, etc. Ask the mother for an opportunity to discuss without the children around. If you come from a place of partnership and neutrality, this discussion should result in a plan for moving forward. Such as, anytime the brother witnesses hitting, he should immediately come to you. For the next week, is it possible for you to at all times have eyes on the ones with supposed biting issues to see for yourself what's going on there?

Keep in mind, behind every behavior is a positive intention. What ever is going on with each child, what might their positive intention be that has them turning to these choices? This is a good question for both sets of parents to explore. Each child's needs are different and while we may think we are meeting those needs, sometimes we need to step back and really check-in with ourselves - and keep in mind that each child's needs are different - including how much attention they need.

Looking forward to hearing your resolution!

Gratefully,
G.

Family Connections Coaching, Inc.

My question for you is in a completely different direction -- are you a licenced provider? I'm not exactly from around here meaning that I spent over 10 years in a military setting; however, I am aware that if you're receiving money for child care you'd have to be licenced by the state. Am I incorrect?

I'd worry about this first as someone is entrusting the care of their children to your home based business. There could be some insurance issues here etc. and these things tend to arise when tempers are heated.

Best of luck,

C.

I would definitely talk to the mom in person or on the telephone about this issue and not via TEXT message, that is crazy to me. If I had a concern about my child I would never do it via text message. Anyway, I would talk to her ASAP and tell her what happens, if anything, while her children are with you.

I agree with the other advice you got too.

Hi C. (again!)
Here is what I would do if I were in your shoes:
First, I would make it clear to the other mom that you do not tolerate any type of hitting in your home. If a child (ANY child!) hits, they will be given a time-out. If you have not observed your child hitting anyone, I would tell her that as well. I would also tell her that you will be extremely vigilant about watching for any hitting that may be happening. Then I would sit all of the children down in a group and discuss hitting and how it is against the rules and explain that if anyone hits (or bites or ??!!), they will be given the appropriate discipline (time out, etc.) Then enforce the rules consistently.
Sometimes kids just make stuff up and that may be the case here. But maybe there is something going on that you didn't see. Sometimes all it takes is O. occurrence for a kid to claim that this is happening "all the time."
Good luck to you!