Thinking of Baby #4 - Grover,MO

First and foremost -is your husband completely on board? If he's not, then no more, and it doesn't really matter what his reason is -if he's not into it, he's not into it.

These are the determining factors for me. Will the kids I have or the new one have to suffer because I have to spread myself and resources thin?

Money is one major factor. Not just right now. What about when they all start driving? What about school clothes, and lunch money, and drs visits, yearbooks, class rings, and when they want to go to college? What about sports? Will you be able to afford 4 kids in sports and be able to get them all to thier practices and games and to play instruments and dance and on and on . If you have unlimited time, money, and energy to add another one to the mix, that may not matter to you. It matters a great deal to me. There is only so much of me to go around and I don't want to shortchange any of my littles.

You will never regret it.

I'm thinking about #4 as well. I think about it every single day. My husband wants to be done, and is intending on getting fixed, but never seems to get around to making the appointment for the consultation. I would say I'm 75% on the side of being done, and 25% on the side of wanting one more. When I weigh the pros and cons, there are definitely more cons. We are in a small house, and we'd be crammed in even tighter with another one, I'd have to put the crib in my room indefinitely, my 2 yr old still doesn't sleep through the night so I'd have two of them up at night, we'd have to buy a minivan, I'd have one more little one to schlep to my older kids' sports and activities, I feel like I don't have enough time each day or energy for the three we already have, we'd have another education to pay for (Catholic schools, then college), and on...and on...and on... It doesn't make sense to add to our family. I wish my brain could tell that to my heart so I'd stop pining. Good luck with your decision!

My 1st and 2nd were 2 years apart and my oldest did not sleep through the night until he was 2 1/2. But there are 3 years between #2 and #3. We got a good amount of sleep for a year and it did wonders for preparing our bodies for another infant. We handled the sleep deprivation of #3 much better than that of the first two. Good luck with your decision!

So, I have two little ones below 4 and I certainly understand the longing for the baby months when they are growing up. However, I would really stress what Tracy K. said--don't spread yourself too thin to support the family you already have. Money is an issue, no doubt, but my husband and I mainly decided to stop at 2 because of ecological reasons. To me, it feels selfish to create so many babies when there are only two of us to replace on this planet.

Just sayin.

I am in the same boat right now. we have 3 and I've been on the fence about having a 4th. Just the other week I thought I was pregnant. Comes to find out I'm not and I am very upset. So now I know with out a doubt that I want another one. My husband says he wants to be done, mostly because he feels like if we stop now in a few years we can start doing really fun things as a family because we won't have a newborn. We are only 29! I feel like we could have one more and still be done before we turn 30. So anyways, I don't know if I have any advise but I feel your pain. I don't want to force my hubby to have another one so I don't know. The thing is when we thought I was pregnant he wasn't even upset. He was like "it's fine, one more is fine." So why won't he say that now so we can really try for one?!?! LOL I guess time will tell. Maybe he will have a change of heart. that is what i'm hoping for anyways.

I'm not exactly in the same boat, except that I'm pregnant with #3, and still have it in my mind that I want 4, although my husband just wants 3. I just wanted to add that I've noticed a lot of people have mentioned to me, when discussing kids, that they wish they would have had one more, etc. That the time they're little goes so fast. I've never heard it the other way of course ;-)

No one can tell you of course, not knowing your whole situation & if your kids are sleeping through the nite, etc., but I suspect once you get that longing, it might be hard to ignore! I have 4 siblings, 1 was 10 years behind the rest of us, and a huge extended family (60 first cousins, some cousins with 8 kids, etc.) We may not have all the material things that are possible with less kids, but my family/cousins/extended relatives are some of the happiest people I know. They live simply, love God, family & life. I dunno, I just love the dynamics with bigger families! Good luck with your decision!