Thinking of Abortion Need Advice

I would second the suggestion to go to planned parenthood and get some counseling. An abortion is a very difficult thing to live with, especially if you have gone through full term pregnancies previously (fyi - I am very pro-choice, so I'm not trying to be judgmental at all.). I would hate for you to make this difficult decision for all the wrong reasons. Maybe just talking it out is all you need, or helping you to put everything into perspective. I would say no to his mother if her being there makes things harder on you, and insist on the nanny (if you decide to go through with the pregnancy). Good luck on this decision.

Hi-While I'm sorry you're in this situation I do not think this is a problem for a bunch of strangers to help you solve. Just say the word Abortion and you will get such bias loaded responses, as evidenced here, that it may be harder to make your decision. I am pro-choice and the responses here just confirm to me why this decision should be made privately with your husband and support of friends and family if you choose. Please get into a counselor with your husband immediately and try to quickly lay some ground rules concerning your marriage and existing children. Whatever you decide it sounds like you could benefit from strengthening your relationship regardless of whether or not you have another child.

I'm sorry but the response from Beth M is awful , this lady asked for advice not for people's religous views on abortion , if you can't offer any good advice then keep your horrible opinions to yourself.

I'm sorry you have found yourself in this posistion , I can't imagine what it must be like to make this decision. Your feelings of husbands lack of help and MIL issues aside , did you think that a 3rd child would be part of the picture at some point? That's what you need to think about , if you really do not want another child then you may have answered your own question.

I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

Wow I understand your position, it is a rough spot you are in. But the best part of living in America right now is you have the ability to make a choice that is right for YOU. I do know it is a very hard choice to make but keep talking to your friends and family and you will make a good choice for you and your family. Good luck

This baby deserves a chance at life. If you do not want the stress of #3 then you could always put the baby up for adoption. That way you do not have the added stress of another child and the baby has a chance at life.There are plenty of couples out there who want a baby but are unable to conceive. Never the less the choice is yours, but you must remember that you will have to live with your choice.

I am sorry to tell you that, but you should have tought of those things before getting prego, after all birth control is not something surprisingly hard. I am sorry to be so direct, but I think you are being very selfish....you made the baby, now take the responsibility.

I agree with Kate H, Beth M response is uncalled for. Thankfully, we live in a country where you have freedom of choice. I know that your decision is a hard one. Do you have access to a counselor that has a neutral opinion about abortion? Someone who you can use as a sounding board while you are making this difficult choice? Remember, Don't let stories of others not being able to bear children upset you and cause any guilt, their situation is not your responsibility. That is only another option and only if it were right for you and your family. It is your Choice. Best to you

Sorry but this is not a good reason to have an abortion. I would forget your husband you know what's going to happen and just hire a nanny don't wait for him to make the decisions. Us mothers know how hard it is and what we have to go through everyday but please don't end your babies life just because of that. God Bless!

I personally dont believe in abortions, but you have to do what is right for you and your family. I dont know if you are religious at all but god never gives you more than you can handle and i believe that no baby is a mistake. I dont know how far along you are but just think that little baby is already developing and growing. Plus you have two already, can you picture what life would be like if you would've had an abortion with one of them? Im sure you love them very much and this child deserves to have that love to weather you are ready or not. You couldve permenetly prevented getting pregnant if you knew you didnt want anymore. Mabye you could try marrigae councling to help you and your husband connect more or really sit down and talk to him about what your needs are if you keep the baby. I wish you the best of luck, but hope you decied to keep your little miracle.

I'm sorry, I"m not trying to be mean here or anything but she did ask for advice, NOT for people to judge her. While I do not support abortion in any way shape or form, I know it's not my job to push that belief on other people.

I would ask that you take some time, think about it really hard. Get counseling from Planned Parenthood, but DON"T LET ANYONE make this decision for you!

Don't let your MIL wanting to help you push you to have an abortion. Your husband needs to step up and help you though, plain and simple. It takes 2 to create a baby, I would suggest you get some counseling to aid in that.

Please think about it carefully before doing an abortion.

Many years ago (1972) I was sort of in your situation. I had 2 sons and cared for them with an "absent father." He refused minor surgery so I went under major to have my tubes tied. I then left my husband. This is your choice but it looks like that your baby may have the will to come through. I know 3 would be hard but...is there anyone else in your life who helps you with your burdens? Don't necessarily believe that he won't through it up in your face later -- denied his chance for a boy. They sometimes lie to you. God bless and good luck.

S. P.

I wouldn't have the abortion. Even though he isn't available emotionally and says he will be happy no matter what, you will feel a huge guilt for not giving that little girl or boy a chance at life. It won't ever leave you heart and mind. If anything, give the child a chance with a good family who can't conceive. You won't have the responsibility and you will help a couple out that wants a baby so much. They will pay for any hospital bills and doctor bills before the birth. That will take some of it off your shoulders. Even if your husband isn't there for you, that family will be. You can also join a group in your area for women who are going through the same things. They will give emotional support for you and the new family may also. Look into it. Just remember it's not the baby's fault it was conceived so give him/her a chance. You won't feel the guilt you would if you chose abortion.

sorry to hear of your dilemmea but i just wanted to let u know when i was a teenage i got prego and was in a bad situation . i got an abortion and it has followed me around for 6 yrs. I firmly believe it is your choice however u should be aware not only is it extrememly painful before and after the heartache is never something u will forget. I'm a little suprised after 2 children u would even consider it just because i look at my beautiful babies and as much as i would DREAD a third i couldn't help that be psyched a little life was inside of me. I know ur having your issues but work through them let them know this is a joyous time and u EXPECT help from ur hubby. if all else fails adoption. i would never expect a woman to give up her baby but if u feel u want nothing to do with it, mine as well give it to someone that does. but i would really hope u lean away from abortion, that baby didn't ask to be created but he is now, you were able to raise 2 children, u could pull off a third. i could never "choose" which kids i want or dont maybe u should consider that, thats what abortion is after u have children, "choosing" not to have one of your children in your life. you seem like a great person in a tough spot, you will make the right decision. good luck
~S.

First of all, and not to be mean, but you were in the mood to have sex, so you saying you aren't in the mood for a third child is a bit irresponsible.

Second, if you have issues with your husband, you need to deal with them directly, even if that means separation and divorce. If you do not want your MIL there, tell him that explicitly. If she still wants to come around to see the baby, great, you can book her a hotel room. If she gets upset/mad, tell her and your husband to get over it.

If you need more help around the house with your husband, demand it. I see many women often say they do not get enough help around the house but do not communicate with their husbands/boyfriends that they need more help. If you let a man get away with doing nothing, he'll keep doing it. Why change it if he thinks it's working? From the sounds of how much he relies on his mother, it sounds like he's content with the way things are.

You can do this - even if alone. Lots of women have been single parents of multiple children. Of course I don't think anyone wakes up and thinks they'd like to raise a family alone - so I'm not saying it can't be done.

If you really do not care to have the baby, I suggest you look into adoption. There are many wonderful people out there unable to have children.

I am pro-choice - but in your circumstance, I think it'd be foolish, selfish and not the right decision to have an abortion.

Sorry if I come across too blunt...you asked so I thought I'd answer truthfully!

I read through most of the responses and it really shocks me that the consensus was "it's your choice." I really think it is a decision that should be made with input and equal weight from your husband. Yes, you have to carry the baby, but it is your husband's baby also!

I would imagine that if you choose to abort and your husband is against it, you may destroy your marriage also. It sounds like you could use some marriage counseling to help address the division of labor, your mother in law issues and your family planning.

Good luck!

Please don't have an abortion. I know you are struggling emotionally as you have written in your post, but this baby is a gift. I don't know if you are a christian, but God allowed this baby to be concieved for a special reason. If you can look past the first 2 -3 years of the "inconvience" if that is even the right word, the rest of your life it will be worth it. I believe with all my heart a life is a gift, and we should not take it from them. The guilt you will feel for years to come will be much harder to deal with than the emotions you are feeling right now. Please pray for God to help you through this and he will. I know about the guilt. I have gone through it. If I could go back in time and not have had my abortion, I would. I know my precious little baby's soul is in heaven, but, I would never ever do this again nor do I ever encourage a woman to do it. Life is worth living! your baby deserves his/her life. Please give it to him or her. Your baby will LOVE you .

Only you can make this decision. Only you know what is right for your family. We live in a country where abortion is a safe and legal option for women. Just think long and hard about it. If you do decide to have an abortion, you can't undo it. You can't change your mind and take it back. I suggest counseling, no matter what decision you make. Good luck.

Read a few of the responses but not all. While I think using the online mama community is good for many things (advice on potty training, discipline, sleeping thru the nite, questions about childhood illness, etc.), your situation is simply too complex and emotionally charged to be effectively supported or debated here..

You don't mention your own family in your post. Is you own mother in your life? Sisters, aunts? How about best girl friends? Next line of defence...I would suggest your spiritual leader but depending on who that is/what religion there's likely a conflict of interest/bias. Sooo...Give Planned Parenthood a call. Despite what many may think, they do not delight in performing abortions. They delight in supporting families thru every aspect of health, sex, pregancy, and birth.

You are not a bad person for contemplating this. The only bad that can come of this is a rash decision to go thru with the pregnancy and resent the child or terminate it and then live with regret.

Oh, wow. Let me start off - I am pro-choice, and will not in any way make you feel bad for any decision you will make.
If your main concern is his mom or an abortion - start looking for a day-time/night nanny immediately. If the MIL is there while you are in the hospital - have her cook meals that she can freeze for you when you are released. That way you can soothe her ego when she leaves - hopefully upon your return home - by writing her little notes telling her how much you appreciated her help while you weren't there (sounds like she's a little needy and controlling..?).
What I did before my only child was born was go to one of those prepared meal food chains - I made about a dozen meals so I wouldn't have to worry about cooking. If your girls are old enough, maybe they can come with you to help.
In regards to shopping - try on-line shopping ahead of time - to reduce expensive shipping charges. Plus, a nanny with a driver's license will help, too! Push that angle towards your husband.
In regards to what you are going through - use this site to vent.
Good luck. I am sorry for this struggle, but I am sure you are not the only one with the same forthright question.

I had my third child 5 months ago. ( My third boy) I too was not planning on having anymore children and so I was not so thrilled mainly because I was 40 at the time I got pregnant. Although, I did not plan for this baby and I was not so excited I thought to myself that everything happens for a reason. Children are a blessing and there are so so many women who are trying to get pregnant and can't. So instead of being unhappy with it I new this baby was meant to be.
Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. Tell him you would love to have this baby but that you need his emotional support and that you prefer a nanny and that you expect to get a nanny so the family can be happier.
Sometimes praying will help with some answers.
God Bless.

Wow. I'm sorry that you are going through such a hard time.

Have you only had the 3 pregnancies? If you've been lucky enough to not have a miscarriage, then I can understand you weighing the options. Being someone that has had a miscarriage, the loss of a baby and what could've been is haunting. There isn't a day that I don't wonder about it. I have friends that have chosen abortion, and they too have a sense of loss.

If it were up to me, and I really didn't think that I could handle another baby, I would follow through with the pregnancy, and give the baby for adoption. There are so many families in want of a newborn to call their own. Also, if you do go with an adoption, in many cases they will pay your medical bills once the adoption is final. For me, I see each baby as a blessing. I feel that my pregnancies were planned, just not by me. Each pregnancy, and even my miscarriage taught me something valuable about myself and my marriage. This baby may not be right for your family at this time, but you have a chance to help change the lives of another family and fulfilling the longing for another hopefull mom-to-be.

Also, each state has a safe haven law, wherein, if you decide after giving birth that you can't handle the baby, you can take the baby to any hospital, firestation, police station and hand the baby over without question.

I would also talk to your dr. about permanent birth control options for once the baby is delivered. Not trying to tell you what to do, but so that you won't have to stress over this decision again. I was like you, had a similar home situation with hubby and knew that I physically could not handle more than 2, so I had my tubes tide shortly after my 2nd child's birth.

Hugs.
M.

It's going to be hard very very hard...I've went thrugh a few abortions and they were hard on me! Well, think it over and think about it! I have a 10 year old daughter and she's adopted out and then the three boys and they are going to be a shareing adoption! Well, good luck!

you will regret it i believe - please dont have an abortion, i know its your choice, and this country IS pro choice - if you dont want your /MIL around put your foot down and say no - you know what you are doing now after 2 babies, you dont need a live in help

do you have a sister or a friend who could help you or talk to you?

My vote is with Starr. This is your call. Other people judging your thoughts and decisions are not helpful. Think of the most non-judgemental friend in your life. Someone open and objective. Talk to them how you feel. You don't need advice. You just need to vent. The answer is whatever you find works best for you and your family.

I just want to give my two cents of advice. I will advise that you sit and talk to your hubby about everything that is bothering you and that you need his help. I will not have an abortion as the baby is a blessing from God and it's not the babies fault. I say give this baby the opportunity to live and talk to your husband and your mother in law. She has to understand you as she is a mother herself. Can you maybe have your mom come down and be with you instead of his mom? I am going to pray for you and your baby, but please don't go through with the abortion. This baby is a blessing.

I hope you take some MAJOR, PERMANENT precaution after this baby. If you're not happy with your husband, think about counseling and/or divorce, but don't keep having sex and risk getting pregnant thinking you can "just have an abortion" because of the stress.

If you don't want your baby couldn't you let someone adopt it? Your baby has a right to live. Just because our country has legalized abortion doesn't means that is right. I have heard stories of women who have to deal with the guilt of having killed their child. I don't mean to condemn you, but please think about the rights of your unborn child not just your own.

I'm so sorry that you're not feeling supported and essentially loved by your husband. Love is an action. You having this baby would be an act of unselfish Love. By your providing the day to day, diapering, feeding, bathing, cuddling, you're providing sacrificial love. I wish that your husband was doing more and saying more to show you his love. Giving this child a chance at life is a loving thing to do. There are countless couples that would love to adopt your baby. Your husband, may be thinking that he is loving your by working at his job. He may not know how else to love. I highly recommend this book called, The Five Love Languages by: Gary Chapman. It totally helped me understand the different ways that I was being loved by my husband and it helped me to love him in a way which he could understand and feel loved. Hope that helps some!
With love-J.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not have an abortion. I know this one is gonna stir up a lot of emotion and responses. I am going to try to not force my opinion on you about abortion. Instead, I just want you to know how many people there are out there in the world who desperately wish they could have this problem! I currently know of 2! My neighbor almost died while pregnant with her 2nd child, and ended up losing that baby...his name was Connor. Now she desperately wants the chance to have another, but can't. It tears her up...

My brother and sister-in-law have been married for 14 years and tried to have their own children any way they possibly could...and were never successful. They were able to adopt a baby girl 10 years ago...and most recently adopted 2 and 3 yr old brothers. We love all these kids just as much as the rest of the children in the family that are biological. The 10-yr old girl was almost aborted by her birth mother...everytime I think about that, it kills me. I just want to burst out crying thinking that she might not be here. PLEASE, if you don't think you can handle it, give another family a chance. You would think with all the kids out there that it is easy to adopt, but it is NOT! The chances of getting a baby are VERY slim.

There are obviously other issues you are dealing with, and I am sorry you are having a hard time. I recently had my 3rd, and I will tell you, it was hard at first. But he is 8-months old now, and I can't remember what it was like without him. You definitely need someone to help you. Talk with you husband. Tell him you need his help. Not in a nagging, yelling way, which I know is hard to not do. I would think if he loves you and the 2 children you have, that he would be willing to do whatever it takes to support the family. My husband surprisingly stepped it up with this 3rd one.

A husband probably won't ever ask you what you are feeling, or going through. As much as it sucks, that just isn't the way they are wired. I am coming to realize that too. That's what Mothers, sisters and girlfriends are there for. Have them and use them! They understand and will give you the emotional support that men won't.

I would not have the MIL come stay with you if she is just going to cause problems. Maybe for the day...try to be civil, but then send her home. This is YOU AND YOUR hubby's family...not hers anymore. (but try to keep the peace...she is your MIL, means well, and loves all of you). If you can afford a nanny, I say go for it! If you need the help, then let someone help. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it!

I really hope you take your babies life into consideration. I know it would be hard to give him/her up for adoption, but wouldn't it be just as hard to end his/her life just because you think it will be tough for a few years? No matter what you choose, it will be hard. Life is hard...but you WILL and CAN make it through this! I know you can because you have already been a mother twice and there is NO ONE tougher than a mom! God bless, good luck and hang in there...

hi im in the same position as you were and i wanted to know what you decide ? did you have it? o loose it? i dont know what to do this is my second pregnancy and i dont feel like it....thanks

Hello,

I only know one lady who has had an abortion. It was 20 years ago and she still regrets it to this day. I think you need to get some counseling and perhaps TALK to some women who have had an abortion. From what I've read, MOST go on to regret their decision....... It is something you can not take back. Even the woman behind Roe vs. Wade court case NOW REGRETS that she ever persued that issue and works to have it overturned....!

I myself have had 4 miscarriages. I have blamed myself for each one. (Not that I did anything but I can't help but think maybe I should have skipped that can of pop or maybe I shouldn't have lifted that item.......) We do have 2 great kids and I am expecting again (9 1/2 weeks along) but I still have guilt that maybe I could have done something to protect those other babies I lost.....

I think you need to sit down and talk with your husband. Perhaps go to a local pastor for some marital counseling. (It's usually free when you go to a non-denominational church pastor.)

As for your mother-in-law coming. If you don't want her, then she can NOT come...... Hire a nanny. Or an au pair. Or a young girl. Are there any homeschool families around you? Perhaps one of them would like to make some money (they can do their homeschooling at night!) A friend of mine hired a 16 year old homeschool girl to take care of her 2 kids.

If you truely can't see yourself loving and caring for this new baby, please consider adoption. You can do an open or closed adoption. You would be able to chose who gets your baby and how much contact (if any) you would have. This is a beautiful way to honor the life inside you. When I was doing daycare, almost half of the kids I took care of were adopted!

Talk to some people who have chosen adoption and abortion. Then you can see what they've gone through and make a MORE informed decision.

I believe it is ultimatly the womans choice to have an abortion or not but I don't think I would choose to have one myself. If you choose to have one do you really think your husband is going to really be okay with that? Is he going to harbor hard feelings to you for the rest of your married life?

There are many alternatives after having a baby. Get a helper to come in from noon to 4 every day and do the cooking and laundry. Your MIL can take care of the baby for you when you need it and you will have someone to look after you and not make you suffer.

If you have hard feelings toward him for his husband skills and parenting behaviors then go and talk to someone about your choices. If you sit down with your husband in a quiet atmosphere, no kids, no phones, etc...and have a list of objections, and the "why" he may hear you better. If someone sat me down and said "I am not going to have your child because you don't..."..then I think I would be pissed off but if it's presented in a different way he may be more responsive. If you say, if we have this baby then your mom can come but I need someone who can take more of the load for cooking and cleaning so we can all enjoy the baby more. Not "your mom won't help me and she starves me". make it sound like you're giving the idea some thought so his mom will have it easier.

Also, it really helps when you have several altenative solutions available and ask him what his ideas might be. Everyone wants to feel like the have a say.

Nima: I'm glad you decided to put your foot down with your husband. I'd take it even further. He would be responsible for some of the duties with the children in the house. Just because he works outside the home doesn't mean he can't come home at night to read a book, bathe a child, cook a meal, or even bring home take-out or help with the laundry.

The days of having men sit on the arse and leave all the baby-caring to the mother is over. It's a new world out there and in two-parent households, both parents have to step up and that means the husband too.

I had to get onto my husband after our youngest was born. Granted, he wasn't able to feed her because I nursed but he could hold her, rock her, help bathe her, help with laundry, cooking, and with cleaning. His arms nor his legs were broken. With 2 children already, you should know by now that if it were a contest between who has the harder job, him working out in the world with adults and you staying home caring your the 2 kids you have, the one you are carrying, the house, and yourself there is no contest... Your job is much more difficult than his is and it is more taxing on your body, your mind, your emotions, and your mental health. It's time for him to step up and I'd make damn sure he knew it. It's time he stops being a little boy in a man's body. It's time he becomes a man in a man's body and a man does more than bringing home the paycheck these days.

If he doesn't believe you when you tell him your job is much more difficult, strap a 10lb pack to his shoulders with the weight in the front with a padlock in the back and take the keys with you. Leave him home with both the kids and the backpack on the belly and let him clean, cook, care for the kids, read to them, and bathe them, potty train, or help with homework. Let him be the Mommy for a day and he can see just what you go through in a day's time. If he doesn't get it in a day then have him take some vacation time and have him do it for a week or two then he will most certainly get the picture. It's a shame there's no way to insert something over his bladder so he has to go pee every 5 minutes or throw up several times a day for the first 3 to 6 months or go through hemorrhoids and all the other health problems we face as pregnant women with children already in the picture.

I don't mean to come across as harsh but I am so tired of these Mommy's boy husband's who think there is nothing to staying at home caring for kids when they are out at the office having adult conversations while you are stuck at home with the mini-squad and nobody to talk to except child-talk and what friends you have online but even then you are interrupted constantly by kids. It's time they pull up their bootstraps and get down in the down and dirty with the mommies of the world.

Well deciding to have children is a personal choice. But my advice to you is this. Although it maybe tough at first you could do it! Yes at first it is hard but things may go better this time.....you just never know. Or if you feel you just really can not handle another baby have you considered adoption? I feel very strongly about this over abortion because there are just so many people out there who have no children and who want one so bad. You could give them such a beautiful gift. Plus if you found a couple to take your child they would pay all your medical bills so all you would have to do is go through the pregnancy. Again it is a very personal choice but standing in the situation you are in you could do so much good with this and give someone else the greatest gift ever. Life.

There is nothing wrong with hired help. You can figure this out. I understand being freaked out but trust that even if you have a couple tough years the pay off letting this life come trough you will be so worth it. This little person has purpose here. Best wishes and I do hope you get lots of support from your friends and fellow moms. It is women who carry us through our women's issues.

I don't think any of the issues you are mentioning in your post are reasons upon which to decide whether or not to have a baby.

I don't believe in abortions. I wonder if you did continue with an abortion, how it would affect you since you already have 2 kids. Do you think it would be that easy for you to go through it with having your girls and being a mom already? I would be concerned of the guilt and emotions you would have after. Be strong, you have a beautiful baby developing inside of you. If your two girls give you so much joy, another would be just as much joy. What I think you need is support. Talk to your husband, family, & friends and let them know you need their support when the baby arrives. Don't look for a stupid excuse to abort your beautiful baby. Children are very rewarding! I really hope you decide to keep your baby.

Wow! Lots of different responses. I wholeheartedly do not agree with the people who say if you were in the mood for sex- you should have been in the mood for a baby!?!?! What? So after you're done "making" babies- you should never have sex again? That's another subject....

My other half and I were shocked when I became pregnant with our first (and only so far!) because it was completely unplanned...and we were using birth control (for all the judgmental people out there!). He was more excited than I was....I was 26 at the time and had hoped to wait another year or two before children. I can honestly say, though I don't believe in abortion, I can see how people think it would be an "easy way out". I just could never have done it and truly believe that though it may seem easy at the time you will live a live of regret for taking the life of that perfect, innocent child. Now I look at my daughter and think how perfectly she fits into our little family- and how life would not have been complete without her! I'm sure you feel as if you are in over your head...find help! If you can afford it- hire a nanny ASAP!!! I was a full-time nanny in college and was able to work my class schedule around the kids schedule. It was an awesome experience! Try to find a trustworthy college student near you! Even some help a few days a week would help!
As far as your husband goes...don't go behind his back. Just make it clear to him that your intentions are to hire a nanny and that his mother made it too stressful on you the last time and that she is not welcome this time- even if her intentions are good! If she really wants to help out she can come take the older kiddos for a few hours each week!
I hope this helps! Good luck to you and your family!

Maybe a nanny isnt the way to go, but perhaps a mother's helper? Especially in the summer months you could get a teenager to come help out with cleaning and child care for fairly cheap. (at least, cheaper than a nanny) I went to the youth group leader at our church and she steered me towards the "good" babysitters. I would def. put my foot down about the MIL coming to stay. Do you have any relatives who might help? I would also lay down the law with the hubby, that he helps himself or has no say in the decision. I wouldnt be able to have an abortion, my personal deal, but I also wouldnt go to a planned parenthood for counselling, as they generally want to steer you towards abortion, since that's how they make their money. I would go to a neutral counselor with no affiliation with a PP.

Perhaps you have a close friend who might be able to help with the other kids after the birth so the MIL wont be an issue?

Get some counseling .. ASAP. You have lots of options here. NONE of the choices are easy and many of the women I know who gave up their kids for adoption regretted THAT choice too.

Unfortunately if you want to keep abortion as an option you'll have to consider it quickly. As the longer you go the more dangerous it becomes. As well as many states have statutes limiting when you can actually get an abortion (and rightly so). You would have to check your local laws to know.

There are many great UNBIASED options out there to talk to someone about this issue. I'd suggest a psychiatrist or psychologist to help you sort through your feelings.

In the end you have to decided what's best for YOU and your family as well as making a decision you know you can live with.

Good luck.

You seem overwhelmed not only by the new pregnancy but with all of your other responsibilities. Why not get some personal counseling for yourself so you can sort through all of your questions to ensure that whatever decision you make, is what you want...and not only that, but to organize your thoughts and daily activities so your life is not as stressful, and you can enjoy every laugh and hug that comes your way. Your husband is your husband and, and you mother in-law is your mother in-law, but you can choose how you want to interact with them and you can ultimately choose your happiness.

I understand how you feel when I was married I went through the same thing the day I got home from the hospital I was doing laundry, cooking, cleaning because he would not help me. The one thing I did not regret was having my children and the one thing they will always remember is that you were always there for them and not the dad.

You seem like you need a day for yourself its so hard with kids i know I have 3 and one on the way. I would seriously think before you go through with abortion. Try to talk with support coulselor or adoption couselor. I know being a mom is hard im a single mom and it hard very hard but if i ever thiught i could not handle anything i would see about Adoption for the new baby there are so many Couples who try so hard but just cant have a baby and you can talk with an adoption counselor and sometimes you can hand pick the family and get open adoption were you can get updates on the baby and see him or her or if that would be hard you could just do closed adoption but whats great about it is you dont have to have the stress of another child and you could make another couple so happy with there dream. Also if it open you can explain to the child later that you did it out love and they have counselors to halp during and after the adoption. please concider that before you end in abortion. And i hope you the best of luck. hang in there times seem ruff and hard but like some loving lady here said to me God does not give you to much you cant handle you just have to deside how to make it right way and have faith.