The Worst

I think you did the right thing. If it hasn't happened yet, it will be hard when it does. The cramping is painful and comes in waves like contractions. As a midwife, we can use herbs to make sure the miscarriage is complete once it starts. How did they confirm the miscarriage diagnosis?
In my local area, Huron Valley Sinai has a wonderful program for loss at any time called HUGS. The director is named Sue Duff, and you can use this program no matter what hospital you are out of.
One thing I have learned in my life, you are just a little younger...never ask the question what else could happen. You would be surprised.

C., Unfortunately I can not give you any advise. I do feel your pain though. On May 22nd my sister in law and brother went into the doctors (it was her 29th birthday) and found out that the baby had no heart beat. She was 14 weeks along. She choose to have a d&c done. If you go natural is there any chance of infection or other health risks? The reason I am writing is to tell you I will keep you in my prayers. I know from first hand that when it rains it pours in life. Life will get better and you have all of us moms are on your side. God bless and have a great week.

C., Sorry about what you are going through, as far as letting you expel the fetus on your own. that is fine, but you usually have to get a DnC, just to make sure you got everything out. I would just take care of it at the hospital and that way it is done and you can move on. However you are very young and I would use this as a learning expierence and save having children for when you are better situated in your life--I would use protection or even abstance is the better choice. Save yourself and in the meantime, focus on the love that Jesus has to offer you. Maybe go to church with a friend or family member and open new avenues for a healthy relationship. goodluck and God Bless.

The best advice I can give you as I have not experienced these things. Is to go to a library and get "The Secret" by Rhonda Burn. Movie, book or even the Law of Attraction which it was written about. Self improvement section. It will talk about thinking about wonderful experiences and they will come to you. The Universe responds to what you put out there. Such as I will have the money I need. I will have a healthy child, I will be a size 8. Sounds odd but it will make you think and feel better. You need positive thinking right now so it will help. Pam R

C.,
The right thing is however you feel most comfortable. I went through two miscarriages. The first one happened at home, I did not get a D & C, the second I opted to get put under and get a D & C. Both are very horrible and emotionally draining, but for some reason, having it happen natural, at home was worse for me. I was bleeding so bad, all I could do is sit on the toilet. I was in major pain, all I could do is cry and cry, and the worst part about it was I had a son, who was 3 at the time and he had to see mommy like that. I think that is why I opted for the D & C the second time. I am now 36 weeks pregnant with another boy, and even though it's been a very emotional, nerve wracking prgnancy, I only have 4 more weeks until I see my angel baby! I think you made the best choice for yourself. It is a very sad thing to go through, and unless you know someone who has experienced miscarriage, they just don't understand. As far as the other obstacles you are facing, all I can say is God is testing you, things will get better, always try to find something positive about a negitive situation.
G.

C.,

All you can do is what you believe to be the best for yourself. I certainly empathize with you and have been in both situations myself. I can't say either is better. It's horrible to lose a child, regardless of how it happens. I will keep you in my prayers.

I read your bio and had to respond. If you need dental insurance/medical insurance you need to contact the Department of Human Services and you need an application for medicaid. I don't know where you live, but if you want to email me, I can get you to the right office. Don't wait, it can take awhile but it can help you get the dental work you need.

Honestly it's whether you think you did the right thing because it's not for us to say. Everyone is different. I however would have done what you did because I would not have been comfortable with the other option you were given.
I hope things get better for you and I am very sorry for your loss.

I think there is no right answer - you did what you thought was best. Maybe it is what you needed to help with closure. I am very sorry to hear about your loss. Believe me I know when times are tough, they just seem to get worse. I always say bad things don't come in 3's, it seems more like 7's. It is very hard, but try to stay positive and think about all the good things you have and remember no matter how bad you think you have it some one is always going to envy what you have. Good luck and it doesn't matter what others think because it is your life to live. Listen to others advice but pick and choose what to do with it. :-)

First I want to say that you are in my prayers. I know this is hard. I have had 2 miscarriages. One was with twins, at almost 4 months. I had a D&C both times. But I think that you need to do what is best for you. You are the only one who knows what is best for yourself. As far as everything else, When I have a lot of things going on at once, I just keep telling myself that God will not give me more than he knows i can handle. I am here if you need to talk as well.

My husband and I were trying to get pregnant. It was the year that I lost my 39 year old sister to ovarian cancer. I got pregnant the end of October and we waited to tell our families at Christmas. Well, I started bleeding the day before Christmas Eve. Doctor wasn't sure if it was a miscarriage or not. My husband gave me maternity clothes for Christmas and I wore them to my folks as a way of telling them I was pregnant. It was supposed to be something of a healing even since we lost my sister. Well, I lost that baby, I bled all Christmas day. It was a nightmare. I didn't have a d&c. My doctor didn't even suggest it. I was almost 12 weeks along. Since you were only 6 weeks I think you did the right thing. I think you only need a d&c if you are further along. And a d&c isn't a pleasant experience. I got pregnant my first cycle after the miscarriage, carried the baby to term and I now have 3 children. You will be fine. I know it hurts but believe me, you are not alone. I think you will find that a large majority of women have had at least one miscarriage, that they know of. Unless you are taking your temp and know your cycles you may have miscarriages and not know it. Many women just assume it is a late period. Everybody has tough times, but just know that life goes on and things will get better. God Bless and take care.

My only advice is to pray girl!!! HARD!

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Life is certainly throwing some curve balls in your direction right now. I agree with the suggestion to apply for Medicaid, if you qualify, that will bring some relief to you. As for the miscarriage, I've never had one, so can't help advise you there. I do believe, ultimately whatever decision YOU make, is the correct choice. Do you have a support person - friend, boyfriend/husband, family member, that you might be able to lean on during these stressful times? Feel free to talk anytime, I'd be glad to listen.
M. M.

You absolutly did the right thing. You will have a shorter physical recovery time, and very little chance of complications. Besides DNC's can and do scar uterus's and that scarring can cause problems later on.

Many Hugs and prayers for your emotional healing. Be gentle with yourself.

Struggling with infertility with my husband for 6 years before finally having our first we experienced 2 miscarriages (that we knew of) both times we let things go naturally because they were so early on. It is basically just a period and your body flushes the baby out. My Dr did follow up and measure the uterine lining by ultrasound to make sure everything from the was gone though. I did have a D & C when I was much younger and that was an awful and more painful experience from start to finish. Like someone else said, it can also cause scarring which could mess things up with future pregnancies. You did the right thing by going natural and then if you have to, they can still go back and do one but I doubt it will be necessary since you were only 6 weeks and the uterine lining hadn't had much time to thicken.
If you don't have insurance-same advice as everyone else. Apply for state help. If your wisdom teeth are bothering you, they could be taken out, but unless they are messing things up I would just leave them alone.
All in all things happen for a reason, trust in God and the right path through the wreckage will emerge.
C.

C.,
I'm so sorry for your loss and all you are going through. You are the only one to decide if you did the right thing- no one else can say you were right or wrong. Having a miscarrige is extremely difficult emotionally, as you know, and instictively you must have felt that was the best way for you to handle it. I miscarried two weeks ago and I decided on the dnc because I had been spotting for over a week and I just wanted to get it over with. The "right" answer is different for everyone. As for everything else- try to hang in there -it will get better.
Good luck Jackie

Dear C.,

First of all, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Secondly, I agree with the others here, that what you decide is the best choice for you. I have had miscarriages and gone both ways. The first was natural, and I spent all day in the bathroom in a lot of pain, bleeding and praying for it to be done. My husband was at work and I really had wished I would have asked him to come home to be with me, but I felt too selfish asking him to. The second time I was diagnosed, and tests confirmed, that in my first trimester I had a blighted ovum. I opted for the D&C. My husband was with me every moment. My doctor actually sent out for DNA testing and that is how I found out I was a carrier of Turner's Syndrome. It gave us answers and a new way of coping with our losses. But, none the less, it was very emotional. I wish you peace and comfort during this difficult time.

Sincerely,
J.