Thanks - Topeka,KS

Updated on May 22, 2007
C.P. asks from Topeka, KS
24 answers

About the business trip with my husband...

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So What Happened?

I just wanted to say thank you to all of you for sharing your opinions about me going on a trip with my husband. I really appreciate the women out there who are willing to offer advice to other women without being judgemental. I know that is a really difficult thing to do as women with strong opinions about child-reering. Thanks again to those of you who offered constructive opinions. The best thing I've learned is that you've gotta do what you think is best, even if some may disagree. Women are different as individuals and we should be different as mothers too. Thanks again!

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J.S.

answers from Springfield on

If I had the opportunity to do that and I had someone loving and caring enough to leave my daughter with for a week, I'd do it! Don't feel guilty about it; being a mom is a full time job and sometimes we need "vacations" just like from any other job. :)

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M.C.

answers from Kansas City on

Do you have someone to watch your daughter that you trust completely? If so, GO FOR IT! There is absolutely nothing wrong with spending a week with your husband. Staying connected with your husband will only benefit your daughter! Your healthy, loving relationship will make hers more secure also. Have a great time?

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S.S.

answers from Wichita on

Oh my gosh no!! Now if this were something that you do all the time, leave your child for a week that would be a different story, but it does not sound to me like that is the case. When we become parents we lose "our couple time". This would be a great chance, go and enjoy yourselves.

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R.M.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Everyone needs a break once in a while. It is also very good for you and your hubby to get that much needed time together!!!

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J.B.

answers from Lawton on

I don't think you are a bad mom by wanting to spend some quality time with your hubby. I think as long as you know she is being well taken care of while the two of you are gone then this will be good for all of you because if you and hubby are constantly going to worry about how she is doing and if she is being taken care of in the way you and him would like then I wouldn't suggest leaving her. I know you will miss her and think of her and you can call to check in on her like every other normal mom does. Sometimes after having a baby couples tend to draw apart so this will be a good time for the two of you to spend some time together and reconnect. Good luck! Enjoy your time!!

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K.C.

answers from Kansas City on

GO......... Have fun and relax! :)
It will make you happy which is better for your whole family!

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C.C.

answers from Enid on

You shouldn't feel bad for wanting to go away with your husband. After all when you take care of you it makes you a better mom. As mothers we need to remember that we are women too and as they say when moms are happy everybody is happy. It is important to keep a strong loving marriage in order to be good parents and when you lose sight of you as a couple life's stresses make it that much harder to be a good parent. Take care of you and your daughter will be much happier in the long run.

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C.L.

answers from Kansas City on

Studies have shown that parents who make their marriage a priority and make time to grow together (weekends away, date-nights weekly/monthly, and activities that both enjoy without kids) become better parents.

I certainly know that when my husband and I take time away from the kids, I enjoy being with them more when I come home. I appreciate them more too!

Go, leave your guilt behind and know that there are many envious mothers everywhere who wish we had a week away too! :)

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L.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

You are not being selfish. It's important for couples to have the opportunity to bond apart from their children, it's a far greater gift to your children. Enjoy your time together, and you will really miss your baby and when you get home, you will appreciate what you have even more.

My mom has watched our babies while we take little trips, and you really appreciate the little things like sleeping in, going somewhere and not gathering the diaper bag and getting a table for two, sans highchair.

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A.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I think it is inappropriate to leave a child that young, even to work, let alone for a whole week. She needs you. Spend time with your husband in the evening. You can't just run off and be free anymore--you have a child.

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H.P.

answers from Oklahoma City on

hunny, you are not a bad mom for taking a break. i'm going on my husband's buisness trip in two weeks and am soooo looking forward to it. my girls (5 and 19 mo) will be staying with my parents. i look at it as an opertunity(sp) for them to spend time with their grandparents and form a good bond with them. everyone needs a break sometimes. we as mom's spend all our time focused on our families. whether we work or stay at home all of our "free" time is spent either cleaning, cooking, playing, or just taking care of the millions of things our families need. just like any job, moms need some time off. every out of the house job gives you some vacation time and then there are weekends. but mom's don't get that. so take the time, enjoy your break, have some time for yourself, and rekindle that special relationship with your husband. if nothing else catch up on some of the books you have missed that you have wanted to read, but havn't had the time for. have a great time!

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W.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi C.,
First I'm gonna so no and go have a good time. Are you being selfish (no) and if you were than so would I.
3 years ago my husband and I went to St. Louis for the weekend with no kids and it wasn't for business. Did I feel guilty for leavin' them a little. But at the sametime my husband and I enjoyed every single last minute of it. We have 4 children and at the time we only had 3, for us going to Mc Donald's and spending $8 for the 2 of us to eat breakfast/lunch was awesome and we so badly want to do it again.
On another note did I miss my kids YES very much so but I knew they were in good hands (they stayed with grandma and grandpa) they even enjoyed it more than we did, they got to eat ice cream for breakfast (mommy and daddy don't do that), and stay up past their bedtime. I will say again go, run as fast as you can, have a good time. The time that you will be away from your daughter will be good for everyone, You and your husband get to spend quality time together, whoever she is staying with gets to have some quality time with her, you get to have lots of ME time and with it being a business trip I would imagine there will be times that your husband will have to do something so you will have to find something to do like go to a spa, go shopping, etc.
Have a good time, bring back your daughter a few presents and make good use of your hotel room.
W. mom of 4.

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C.H.

answers from Kansas City on

C.,

Being a mom doesn't mean you have to be chained to your child for the rest of your life. You still need to have your own life and live. I say go have a good time. Alway remember you love her and she will be in good hands. Sometimes we need lifes little breaks when they come our way. Hope you have a wonderful time. Enjoy while you have the chance.

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L.A.

answers from Kansas City on

Girl, GO!!!!! You are not being selfish by wanting to give your marriage some quality time, it will make you happy, and in the long run, a better mom. She's 13 months old and won't even remember it! You'll regret it if you don't go!

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L.M.

answers from Honolulu on

I went on a trip (spring break) with my husband for 5 days when my daughter was 14 months old. I would suggest having the whole family spend the night at whoevers house she will be staying with on the weekends coming up to the trip with a few overnights for just the baby closer to the actual trip date. This is just as much for you as for her. That way you can get used to her being away, knowing that she is able to handle it for a day or two and she can get used to being away for a shot period of time. That way when the full week away happens she knows you are coming back sometime (babies that age aren't so good at knowing the passage of time.) and won't fret as much, if at all.

Heck, you might like having your daughter gone one night a week so much you might do it EVERY week!

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K.A.

answers from Kansas City on

Like you said you need quality time with him away from everything else, make it a business/ second honeymoon--even though it's probably not anywhere close to your anniversary--trip. I think as long as she's with grandparents or someone you trust 100% then it's ok....

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M.O.

answers from Kansas City on

While you are a mom you are also a wife. You need to nurture your marriage away from kids. While you and your husband are rekindling your marriage your daughter gets to enjoy hanging out with family and bonding with them. GO FOR IT!!!

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R.Z.

answers from Oklahoma City on

No, it is not wrong for you to go on this business trip. I felt the same way and everything turned out fine. You are not being selfish. It is completely healthy to want to spend quality time with your husband. Don't feel guilty. If momma is healthy, happy and refreshed, that's the best gift you can give to your baby. Look at it that way and it may ease some of your concerns. And remember, our children are a gift to us, however that does mean stop taking care of your own needs too. I am a divorced, working mother of two. My son is 8 and my daughter is 7. Good Luck!

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J.L.

answers from Kansas City on

Are you nuts? GOODBYE, why haven't you left already. Girl, you better learn to get away from time to time, or you will get to a point that you resent being a parent. Your initial statement of wanting to spend quality time with your husband says it all ! Let go of that guilt. Without the love and "quality" time with your husband with the first place--you wouldn't even have your daughter. Who knows....on such a trip you may even get another daughter :) Get off the computer and get packing!! once you get back, you will be refreshed, and feel re-energized to be a better mom. Have fun. J.

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S.G.

answers from Kansas City on

Go and have fun. My husband and I have an annual canoe trip with friends every summer that is adults only. It gives us time to spend with each other and just have fun with no responsibilities. We have been going now for 6 years it is something we enjoyed before we had kids so why should we stop spending time together because we have kids. As far as the kids they get to go to grandma and grandpa's for 4 days. We all kind of get a vacation away from each other. It is something we look forward to every year.
Every parent and marriage needs time to focus on each other and ourselves. Because our kids aren't always going to be around so if we fall out of touch with our husband we are going to be lost when we get older.

Have fun.

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M.H.

answers from Tulsa on

Being a marter doesn't make you any better of a mom! Matter of a fact giving yourself a break every now and then is not selfish...it's caled being a better mom. You can't give your family the best "you" if "you" doesn't have a break.

I think it's really sad that you feel you need to ask permission to take a break or think you're being a bad mom. I'm curious who gave you that point of view?

For the LOVE....go have fun!!

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M.B.

answers from Springfield on

There is no doubt that you will miss your daughter like crazy. But if you feel you need the time with your husband, and your daughter will be in good hands do not feel guilty about having some fun. My husband and I could not afford a honeymoon when we got married. His parents let us use their timeshare in Florida free of charge for a week when my daughter was 5 mo old. We had a great time, and my daughter was able to spend great quality time with her grandparents along with aunts, uncles and cousins. I called and checked in everyday, even though I knew everything would be ok. It was very relaxing.
Don't ever think you are a bad mom when it comes to spending time with your husband. Happiness in your marriage will carry over to your parenting. Have a great trip.

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B.S.

answers from Kansas City on

One of the best gifts you can give your child is to show her how much you and your husband love each other. It is TOTALLY not wrong to spend alone time with him and have a week to reconnect just the two of you! You can come back so refreshed and secure in your relationship with your husband and that will carry over to your daughter. You are not/will not be a "bad mom" so don't worry about that. Plus, your baby will be left in great hands I am sure (with grandma and grandpa?) who she can spend some time bonding with. Will you miss her while your gone? SURE! But that's okay. Just last night was my 5th wedding anniversary, my mom took the kids for us so we could go out and enjoy ourselves. It was hard to come home from dinner and a movie and not be able to give my babies a goodnight kiss, and waking up in the morning was weird without have to get them drinks and change diapers and get lots of hugs from them. But you know what, my husband and I had a blast hanging out and just being with each other with no interruptions or anything to do but focus on each other. Go ahead and have fun!!!

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M.S.

answers from Kansas City on

I have a 13 mo old as well, so i completely understand the neeed for quality couple time. I think that it would be fine if you went.....in the big scheme of things what is 1 week?! I'm sure your life revolves around being a mother as does mine, it's hard to balance everything perfectly. Whether it's business or pleasure, a little time away will be a healthy thing for you and your family. I hope this is helpful :)

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