Hello G.,
I hope that you and your family had a wonderful Christmas.
I looked through all of the post's that you have put on mama source. It sure does sound like you have a lot to deal with.
I am sorry that you have so much to deal with at such a young age.
In regardes to you and the man in your life, i know that you love him and that you two have 3 kids together, but hitting is WRONG and all of the fighting has to STOP!!!
reason #1 and #2 you have twin boys!
reason #3 you have a baby!
Your mother is hurting seeing her baby girl and her grandchildren going through hell. This is not good for your mom.
You need to think about your little ones, how would you feel if one of your sons ((as a 19 year old young man)) was living with you with his girl friend and your grandchildren. How would you feel if you had to see her mistreat him and your grandchildren. Don't you think that, that would hurt you?
You might love this man with all of your heart but you need to think of those kids FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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about the boys, if they are hurting one another than they are doing what they are used to seeing!
You as a mother, needs to make sure that you do not yell at them when you get mad at them for not listening. They are little boys and they will try to push your buttons and that is normal, but they are not robots and they can not do everything right all of the time.
Try to talk to them but they are to little to understand.
Get down on your knee's and talk to them in a loving and sweet way. Talk to them with kindness about how much you love them and how important it is to be a good boy. Tell them all of the things that you as a mother need to teach them so that they can grow up to be good young men.
IF THEY SEE MOMMY LOSING CONTROL OR DADDY, THEY WILL ALSO BEHAVE LIKE THAT.
They do what they are taught.
I am sorry if some of this sounds harsh but it is true.
I am 30 and i have 3 kids and i have been married for 11 and 1/2 years. So yes i do understand where you are coming from.
My husband has never hit me and i would never allow something like that.
When it comes to kids. You need to make every situation a good one. If one or more of the kids is yelling or screaming or if they are out of control then you need to say, I am going to count to THREE and when i say THREE i am going to tickle you all over and give you hugs and kisses.
And just like that count to THREE and then tickle the one that needs
to get tickled and give silly hugs and big wet kisses and then that will change what is going on.
Try to make their childhood a pleasant one. You want them to love you not hate you.
There will be times when they will need to be spanked. But go easy on them. They are gifts from GOD.
I have a poem that a friend sent to me and i want to share it with you.
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TO MY CHILD
Just for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.
Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.
Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.
Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.
Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles..
Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.
Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.
Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.
Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.. !
Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.
Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.
Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.
Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.
Just for this evening when I run my fingers through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.
I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore.
And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day......... .....
Hi. I am a 29 year old father. Me and my wife have had a wonderful life together. God blessed us with a child. Our daughter's name is Rachel, and she is 10 years old. Not long ago did the doctors detect brain cancer in her little body.
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Take good care of your little ones and thank GOD every day for them.
Life is hard, but it is what you make of it.
I do not know if you have the LORD in your heart, but you need to find a church near your home to go to so that you can be with the LORD.
I will pray for you and may the Good Lord bless you and your family.
If you want to talk to me than send me a reply with this message.
From one mother to another.
:)