I had posted a question about a week ago with a very stubborn 2 year old who has recently found his indepence with wanting out of his crib. We have opted to keep him in his crib, because at daycare he is still in his pack n play for his naps. We felt it important to keep a continunity with him and not give him too much freedom.
For the last week, he has woken himself up each and every night, approximately midnight, getting out of his crib, coming to our room and wanting mommy to put him back to sleep. We have tried the positive silent reinforcement, we have tried the crying it out, we have tried the soothing until he is sleeping. Last night, he screamed and screamed for 2 1/2 hours. He wanted his mommy to help him. Last night, my husband attempted to put him down but he wanted nothing to do with him.
Is this a new phase? Is this a terrible 2's at its finest? I am almost at witts end and need more sleep, obviously. My husband is completely against a crib tent and for a lock on the door preventing him departure (last night, the lock was on the door and we did the CIO method and after 2 1/2 hours he was still screaming like he had just started)
any advice?
I learned a lot from your post. I have a 9 month old who screams when you leave her sight and a almost 2 year old who climbs out of her crib.. I hope it gets better for you soon!!
C.
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I agree with the other moms - when kids start climbing out of their crib, it's time to move them into a real bed. You don't want him to fall and get hurt while he's climbing out of his crib. It will be fine that he is still in a pack n play for naps.
That said, one of my kids was big into getting out of her "big girl bed" at night. We installed a lock on her bedroom door so we could lock it from the outside. It worked out fine. I think this sort of thing is pretty common with 2 year olds. Once he gets over this, he'll find something else to drive you crazy with. =) Good luck!
R., it maybe very much connected to the arrival of a new sibling. Is his younger brother sleeping in your room? Your son may feel that he gets less attention than the baby and wants to get it. My 2-year-old twins sleep with us on their mattresses, and I would not think of locking them in their room, they sleep soundly through the night. NO matter what do not let him cry-it-out, he is just a kid and that creates psychological trauma that his needs are not to be met. All talk about crying-it-out not leaving traces is not true. On surface, it may seem that the child is OK but it will always leave psychological traces and traumatize the kids no matter what age, but especially so young. Perhaps, you and hubby can split the time, that you attend more to your older son and hubby to the baby. My best friend has the same situation with her previously sweet and well-behaved 3-year-old daughter who suddenly regressed when her new sister arrived 4 months ago. She wakes up during the night, cries, and demands more attention than her baby sister. It will pass but meanwhile try to give your son more of your attention and perhaps transition him to a mattress instead of the crib.
i too have a 6 month old and a daughter almost 2 now. when she got out of her crib, that was it for us and transitioned it to the toddler bed. she could have hurt herself trying to get out over and over. your son might want more mommy time because of the new baby. i would go for the toddler bed, but don't lock the door. close all other doors in the hallway except yours and your sons, so he can go get you. i think it will eventually get better. our daughter got out for a while, but it got better. maybe add some more mommy time into the night time routine. some special one on one time, if possible. i know this might be hard, it is for us but i try to spend extra time with our daughter, then when she goes to bed i get a little more time with the little guy. good luck
Hi R.,
First and foremost is safety, and once a child can crawl out of the crib they need to not be in it any more. It is very dangerous to have them crawling in and out of the crib.
The bedtime behavior is actually pretty typical. When looking at a child's development, the first 12 months are all about Motor development. This is when they learn to crawl, sit, stand, and walk. Most of their learning is directed to accomplishing these tasks. The next twelve months is all about language and getting their needs met. They understand more, and are able to express themselves verbally.
The next 12 months is all about problem solving, tying in their motor development with their language development. This is the stage where they hear the ice cream truck(receptive language)and open the front door and go outside(motor development) because they remember getting a popscicle last week when Grandma was watching them.
This is actually the entire motivator behind the "terrible twos", and they really aren't that terrible once you realize that thge entire stage is about autonomy. They have the motor skills(or they think they do), and they have beginning language skills, and they want to put all of their skills to work, because we've spent the last two years praising them for doing so.
What it sounds like now is your little guy is expressing his autonomy when what you need him to be doing is sleeping, and it's creating a power struggle. What will help is if you consistently put him back to bed. Don't pick him up, don't try to reason with him, hold his little hand and walk him back to bed. Cover him up and tell him it's bed time, you need to go to bed. When he gets out of bed, repeat. When he cries, repeat. This might take awhile, because he is going to test your conviction and try to assert himself. But if you are consistent, you are teaching him that he has to go to bed. You aren't ignoring him, you aren't punishing him, you are teaching him what your expectation is, and how he is to behave.
Hope this helps!
Pretty standard for his age... first, put his mattress on the floor, because if he can get out of his crib, he may fall. Then put a baby gate across his door, and be prepared to be awake for a night or two, because you're gonna have to let him cry it out. He will continue to cry for as long as it takes to get you to give up--- 2 1/2 hours is not long, in the cry-it-out department. Fortunately, it will only take one or two nights for him to get the idea. Maybe you and your husband can take turns wearing earplugs so one can sleep while the other one stays awake.
i would say that *whatever* you decide to do, you have to be more consistent with it. you said "for the last week". you have to stick with ONE METHOD for about 2 weeks to really see the effects sink in. CIO or any other method you choose takes TIME.
also remember that things usually get worse before they get better.
also, i wouldn't be so concerned with maintaining continuity between daycare and home. kids instinctively know that different routines will be in place for different scenarios, like home v. daycare. it may take them a while to adjust, but it shouldn't be a problem. i remember visiting a home daycare and 4 year olds were still sleeping in pack n' plays. i cannot imagine their parents keeping a 4 year old in a crib! they seemed like happy, adjusted children.
so, pick a method, stick with it for at the least 2 weeks, and THEN try something else if it doesn't work. consistency, consistency, consistency. you have to show your child that this is the way it'll be in a loving way.
