Tempers

Hang in there! Did something maybe happen while he was at Dad's? It might be something as little as he was left in the other room with a stranger while at Dad's. It maybe something that no one gave a second thought to. It also may just be that he is doing it to get his way. Do you respond or react when he does through his fit? He maybe doing it to simply get a reaction out of you. The best thing to do is to not react at all. Simply continue with what you were going to do. Hopefully he will realize that he is not getting the attention he wants for the negative action. In turn you must praise him when he is being good. Give him positive reinforcment for his good behavior. You may also try letting him know that you are going to go get a drink or go to the bathroom and you will be right back. He may still through a fit, but you have reassured him that you will return. I going through this same thing with a little one I take care of. I am doing the same thing and it seems to be helping. The child is realizing that I will return and then we clap and say hurry because I came back and the child did not cry. Hope this helps. Any other questions feel free to email me @ ____@____.com

Hi A.,

One thing you can do is look into attachment parenting. He won't hit his peak of separation anxiety for another 6 months or so (sorry!) and so it would probably help to curb it now so he can be more secure during that time. One great way to do that is to "wear" him in a sling or a pouch. There are several places you can purchase them online or even find instructions to make them (if you can find the time!!) I'm convinced that this is why my son's phases are short and tolerable because he has my temper hidden by his dad's sweet temperment.

To find some links, you can search it here on mamasource. There was a great thread about it not too long ago.

I have a very strong willed son. We recently started therapy since the divorce. She gave me a wonderful book to read entitled "Winning Cooperation From Your Child!" by Kenneth Wenning, Ph.D. It really has some great techniques. It's an easy read and only about 120 pages long. I encourage all moms to read it.

If the 3 year old goes with him, maybe she could give you some insight. You could try playing with dolls and pretend that you are her and she is dad. Maybe that will give you some answers. I know when my son was that young he went through stages of wanting me all the time and then would switch to wanting dad. Hopefully it's just an adjustment period. Good Luck!

J. W

My daughter was very similar in the behavior. I've learned by trial and error that she really only wants to be with me when we are home together. So now I go about my daily household chores with her and try to get her involved by helping me out like sorting the laundry, doing dishes ( I let her play with the bubbles), walking out with me to take the trash ect. Especially with the laundry it's a great way to have them learn their colors and count things. But the main point is try to involve them more in your daily routine when the older kids are at school and try to stress that when the older ones are at home it's share time with Mom and try to involve at least sit on your lap or something while your working with the other one. Try to involve them both in what goes on around the house as to trying to separate the situation.

My son used to do the same thing he would bang his head on the floor wall and any other solid surface when he wouldnt get his way and the doctor said he wont do any thing to really hurt himself. It sounds mean but just let him cry it out it may feel like your not doing the right thing I know it breaks my heart when my son crys but in the long run it will be for the better my son is quite a bit older then your son but he eventually stopped and would find other things to do or if he really needed my attention he found other better ways to let me know I was needed. I wish you lots of luck.

is he stressing out because he cant communicate what he wants? at his age he is able to understand language and communication but his vocal cords are simply immature. my experiance is that most temper tantrums stem from this inability to communicate. try looking into baby sign lanuage it is great and sooo simple. just a thought.