Temper Tantrums at 9 Months?

I think the best way to handle those situations is to ignore the behavior as much as possible. This is what my pediatrician recommended for my daughter at that age (she is 17 months now). I agree that you should use the word "no" sparingly. If my daughter tries to pick up something that doesn't belong to her, we tell her "not Abbey's", and if she is trying to touch something that she isn't supposed to, we use "don't touch". We were trying to avoid the word "no" becoming her favorite word. ;-)

By ignoring the behavior, you are showing her that screaming and crying is not going to get your attention and is not going to change the rules. I would just make sure she is someplace where she can't hurt herself and let her cry. If you have to, place her in her crib until she calms down. Again, this is what my pedi recommended. All is easier said than done, but my daughter has very few tantrums now and can tell by the look on my face or the tone in my voice that her behavior is not acceptable and usually stops before a big fight ensues. She knows that she just isn't going to get away with it, so she doesn't bother trying.

It's pretty tough being a mom sometimes, but the more consistent you can be now will pay off when she gets to be a toddler. These little munchkins understand a lot more than we sometimes give them credit for, so just keep up the good work. She gets it and she is just starting to test limits a little bit.

Good luck!

I think you are doing the right thing. Stay consistent. The only thing I would add is that you praise her for good behaviors. Thank her for obeying you, reward good behavior and then when the bad ones occur, give one warning and then take action. yes its stressful but consistency will keep the events to a minimum in the long run. When you give your warning now is the time to start talking to her about choices, good and bad. Tell her that making a good choice lets her have fun and bad choices take her to the naughty spot. When she throws her "fits" I would put her in a specific spot (I would buy an inexpensive patio chair to keep in the house and it is not to be played with, maybe even kept in a closet until needed) to calm down. Experts say 1 minute for each year and most times that is appropriate but if she is still crying after almost a minute I would leave her there until she is calm. If she gets up, put her back. A few days of this and she will get the picture. Then when she calms herself praise her, love on her and find something fun to do. As a single mom, you have a lot to handle so a few days of fighting the time out battle at 9 months will be nothing compared to what it will be like later. Better now than then!!! It's better to "teach" them what you expect than to correct their behavior at 5 or 6. Above all, remain consistent with your responses.
C.

I have a kid like yours. The best thing is to address behavior head on. Ignoring it only feeds it, unless they child is older and able to see beyond himself--which is not the case for an infant.

For infants the best thing is to redirect. You started this by moving her to a different spot. The next thing is to show her something to play with, engage her in an activity she likes and is allowed to do. As she gets older she will realize what you are doing and try to cry and argue the point anyway. That is when you tell her 'mommy said you need to stay in this room with me'. I kept my child with me. So if I was in the dining room, it was fine for him to be under the table - I could watch him. If I went to the den then I fully expected him to follow me to the den or I picked him up and carried him in there.

Our house was also open and I did not own a play pen, so they even went to their crib or to the bathroom with me when they were this little. LOL

I had 2 children a yr apart so I had to keep them with me in the same room for safety. I did not want to risk them getting into something harmful or hurting each other. It kept me busy, but they never had any injuries beyond a simple falling down and bruise. They never really minded being left with sitters (they already had their mommy time). They were well behaved and happy almost all the time. It works!

Good luck,

I have one idea. But instead of telling you, which would be too long and complicated, I will tell you to read the book "To Train Up a Child." Don't worry about all the negative feedback this book has--I was fooled by it, until I decided to read it for myself. It is very well balanced (for instance, you can't punish a child--we're talking about older kids--if you have cut all strings of fellowship with them; never punish in anger; babies under about 2 are too young to punish, as such, etc), and will teach you how to train your children not to do certain things, what to do with tantrums when they're too young to punish, etc. It's small--you can probably read it all in a couple of hours. It's available from www.NoGreaterJoy.org. It costs $5 plus $4.95 shipping.

Now, if you happen to live close to Weslaco, you could get it through me and save most of the shipping. Please don't take this as a promotion of my business, but I am planning on starting a flea market business and this is one of the books I want to sell. So if it would take less than $4 in gas money to come here to pick it up, you might want to consider getting it through me. I'll sell it for $6 even. If you want to do this, drop me a message. Of course, if you live too far away, just get it from their website. I'm sure it will help you a lot! It's helped me with my 7-month-old.

I have a 20 month old. He has been throwing tantrums since around 12 months. I sometimes try to divert his attention elsewhere to prevent the tantrum. Such as playing a little game of "get the doggie". Meaning, lets play with the dog. Or if you don't have an animal, try a toy or something of interest to your daughter. Most of the time this works and he will forget that he was just about to throw a tantrum. But when this doesn't work and he wants to lay himself down on the floor and throw a tantrum, I simply walk away and let him do it. By leaving the room but yet being where you can see her, she will forget why she is throwing a tantrum and get back up and start playing. By not drawing attention to it, you are showing her that kind of behavior is not acceptable. As soon as she stops crying, don't mention to her what just happened. She will soon figure out that is no way to get your attention. You are right that "no" can loose its affect really quick. I try and mix it up by saying "stop it", "don't", or any word you can think of that means the same thing. Consistency is really important. If you give her a warning, follow through. If the tantrums last for a length of time, put her in her play pen until she calms down or takes a nap. Above all, make sure she has had a snack. Monitor the differnce. Do most of the tantrums occur soon after she has eaten? Or could they be contributed to hunger? Also, teething can make babies really cranky. Before deciding on how to handle the situation, make sure she isn't hungry or teething. If she is teething, she will need a lot of comfort from you.

Ignoring or small punishment - tap the hand, quick time outs and "no" words - for the behavior will not make her feel neglected. It will do the opposite and will show her that the tantrum is unacceptable and you will not put up with it. When she is calm and does something good then praise her. Praise her and show affection all other times of the day. Use a lot of facial expressions during both times of discipline and times of praise. It is good to establish the "look at my face" early on b/c the real benefits of that come later on as they get older. Most tantrums at this age is due to frustration our of the inability to communicate. I taught all of mine a few signs starting at 9 months and the frustration level went way down. there are lots of books out there so if you choose to get one get a simple one that will just teach you maybe 5 or 10 signs to communicate with baby.

I can appriciate your situation. I do believe that at 9 mos, a baby really only know how to focus on what it wants at the moment.
I would purchase a "portable baby yard". They are free standing and can be set up anywhere. If under the table is where you Don't want her, set it up around the table...or, is there a good reason she should not be under the table.. maybe just let it go??
You REALLY have to pick your battles and at 9 mos, I believe it is just easier to prevent a battle than deal w/ one. Just my ideas, hope it helps...GramVal