Needing advice on how to begin teaching my young toddler to stay near me when we are out. If its a safety issue, I do keep him in his stroller and try to do so when running errands, etc. But even in kid-friendly areas such as the park, I need him to be able to stay near me or come back to me when called. Right now when I call his name he doesn't even look back or act like he hears me at all. Usually when we go to the park or play in the yard, he's highly distracted and will take off towards the street, mud puddles, etc and I struggle with how to handle these situations - I usually tell him I want him to stay over by the slide or whatever and then turn him that direction. Sometimes this works for a few seconds and sometimes he is so bound and determined to go back wherever he was headed he will start screaming and refusing to go that way. Usually if he starts into all of this, we just leave - which is really hard in some situations and I'm not sure he gets what happened anyway....
Thank you all for your advice. I'm getting the general idea (which I had figured) that I should tell him no and what I expect, but not expect it to sink in or work yet! Keep on him is the message I think and at this age just have to chase him around when needed. I will keep working on the commands and strategies so that he will one day get it. Thanks again :)
I have a 15 month too. He's the youngest of 5. At this age, we have to follow or chase him. =) He'll learn over time. I had to chase all of mine except for 1 who'd stand beside me without saying a peep at age 2...LOL I don't know why my others wouldn't...LOL! Anyway, probably age 3 (give or take) is when he'll be able to play more on his own where you'll trust that he won't bolt. Good luck!!
He'll learn over time. I wouldn't expect him to stay by you or come when called.
For now, you should stick to him, follow him, redirect if it gets dangerous, etc. I remember that time being very difficult to keep up with, but you just roll with it. Keep fun stuff in your bag, like balloons, bubbles, sidewalk chalk, etc., and snacks, to help with distraction and luring him back to safer spots.
I would let him do things that are messy or dull for you--remember that everything old to you is new to him. That mud puddle might be the most exciting thing he's ever seen.
He is too young I think. You need to stay close to him.
Does he hear well? Might need to have hearing checked.
Welcome to the world of a 15 month old. Keep doing what you're doing. As a rule no child is allowed out of the cart or stroller in stores or malls until they are old enough to stay near or I have someone to help chase. I have four kids. The first one got a whole lot more freedom than the rest because I had only one at the time. Anyone under 5 has to hold onto the cart in public places. I have them trained so that all I have to say is one hand and they all know what to do.
Buy some running shoes...
My son is now 3 and has been a "runner" all of his life. At 15 months, or 18, or even 24 months, he really did NOT get consequences so I couldnt really teach him not to run away - I coped by:
1)keeping him a stroller or sling or harness
2)Playing with him on the playground
3)Avoiding dangerous situations
4)Accepting that getting wet, muddy, etc is a fact of life
5) Staying at home. :(
Everytime we go someplace, I tell him and/or show him where he can play, and where he can NOT play. If he goes to the "Not" part, he gets time out. At home, if he leaves the yard, we go back inside. At the playground, if he leaves the play area, he gets put in the stroller for time out. If he does it again, we leave. That has worked pretty well since he was over two, but would not have worked for him at 15 months.
I think some kids are runners, and some are not - my daughter is 18 months and by my side no matter what.
Its frustrating with my son that I cant sit and leisurely watch him play, or trust him to stand by my side in a parking lot - I am EVER vigilant. I cant tell you how many times he has run off a playground, into a wooded area, and by the time i have caught up to him he is chewing on a cigarette butt or beer cap or zipped away at the mall, weaving in and out of crowds and hurling himself toward the escalators.
I get the screaming thing - we have left many places - grocery stores, parks, parties, etc due to screaming and your son probably does not get it now, but he will get it in the next few months.
Right now, you just need to do what you have to to keep him safe.
Good luck!
Okay, I'm starting this over again b/c my 22 month old is endlessly climbing up onto my lap, wanting to read books, trying to "help" me type and he erased it all! ARG! But this is a good example of what I was trying to say...;)
15 months is just too young to really understand what you're saying and follow those directions. They don't have the impulse control or the attention span to "stay by the slide", etc. Plus, when he runs for the street and you run after him and haul him back to the playground that is a SUPER fun game for him! I get that for you it sucks, but for him, it's a game. So, I think that you should keep your communications clear and tell him what you expect, but just don't expect him to actually do it just yet.
As far as the park, if it is really frustrating to you then you may have to bring your stroller and use it as a sort of time out place if he continues to run for the street or something, but at this age you pretty much have to be by his side at all times. If you're walking into a store or something like that then be prepared to hold is hand or carry him, even if he breaks out in tantrum. He will eventually learn that you have to hold hands in parking lots, crossing streets, etc.
Overall this is just a really hard age. I feel for you, truly. My son is a crazy pants and does some of the same behaviors you mentioned. Hang in there and stay strong!
His attention span is at the longest 1 minute at this point.. .. So every time he sees something he wants to explore it. You will just have to be next to him when out, till he gets a little older.
I agree that you will have to practice with him, "hold my hand". "Hand on the stroller". "Stop!"
In our neighborhood we played a lot of "Red Light Green light".. It was a great way to practice stop and go.. The kids would go towards an area they were not allowed, we would call, Hannah, RED Light! Boy, they would stop on a dime.. We also let the kids lead the game some of the time..
It may be too late to try my advice... I have been unable to run, jump or walk fast since I was 13 y/o - so when I had a child, I KNEW I'd have to teach them to follow directions absolutely by voice. Once my daughter started crawling around 7 months, I would start to snap really loud to get her attention. When she would stop and look for me when I snapped - I'd praise, hug and give her lots of attention. When she did not, I'd sit her down in her carseat and buckle her in for a minute or two and play the snap and look game with her.
Once she got a hold of the snap equals stop and look for Mommy (took less than a week), then we added in verbal directions... like "Come to Mommy", "Go to the sofa", "STOP", "Find the cat" etc... Again, lots of time, praise and attention it took - this part took about a month for her to register what I said to do with the right action. By the time she was walking by 10 months - she was fully trained to listen for the snap of my fingers, look for me and follow verbal directions.
To this day, at almost 6y/o - she will still stop at my snap - tho her following verbal directions is much to be desired LOL it's due to her strong will to be independent rather than because she doesn't know what I"m asking.
Well, there are "leashes" for children that attach to the wrist, and I'm told that they're good reminders for highly distractible children that they CAN'T go far from Mama!
Other than that, there's the old standby: "Hold my hand, Benjy, so Mommy doesn't get lost!"
It sounds to me from your post that he may be not so highly distractible (though he could be!) as highly self-willed. You may need to begin from the beginning and teach him at home how to be attentive to your voice. The game is for you to call his name, in any kind of tone, and his part of the game is to turn around and look at you. Praise him when he does that. Then eventually add a command: "Benjy, come here." "Benjy, sit down on the floor." "Benjy, make a silly face." "Benjy, turn around in a circle." So he pays attention to your voice, he looks at you, he does what you tell him. Lots of praise. Take it from there.
Since the time my daughters were about that age I would tell them that mommy didn't want to get lost so please hold my hand or please stay nearby me. My now 7 year old still grabs my hand when we cross a street as my 13 year old laughs because she can remember being tricked into the same thing! Hey, if it works, try it!
I practiced a lot with my son before going out with him. We would walk on the sidewalk, and I would have him walk next to me. If he went too far from me at all (like out of arm's reach), I would say, "That's too far. Come back." We practiced like that for a while, and I gradually would let him get a little farther. He learned to respond very well. After he got a little older, he stopped listening as well. Then my husband added, "Lie down." And he did. Every time. In the middle of the grocery store, between the sidewalk and the street, etc. He did good, but it took a lot of patience and motivation to get him there.
