Taking/using Things That Aren't Their's

Just as with other types of misbehavior he needs to have a consequence each and every time he does it. A time out perhaps. Taking away his time with electronics would be ideal. It's a consequence that fits the behavior.

I think you got a lot of great advice already. I just wanted to say that reading the response from Leslie G made me feel angry on your behalf and on behalf of all moms everywhere. This is a site for moms to ask and answer questions. Moms are people and people are not perfect. ALL of our children have certain behavoirs that we struggle with. Good for you for seaking advice on ways to change a negative behavoir. Dont let a-hole answers like hers make you feel bad.

My son is five and we have an 'asking drawer' in our home. It's got all his favorite things to grab up: masking tape, screwdrivers, batteries.... If he gets into it without asking, he's not allowed to have what he removed for the rest of the day.

Your situation is, however, more serious. I agree with a stunning loss of privileges for him for right now (no video games, electronics, etc.) and with locking up valuables, as he does not seem to respect them. Another thing to consider would be to have him pay you back for anything he loses (does he get an allowance or birthday money?)... and to compensate YOU for your time/work lost on the zip drive with some extra, boring chores that are within his capacity to do. Six year olds can do plenty; weeding the garden, scooping the poop if you have pets, pulling dandelions (make sure you show him how to get the roots out), sweeping floors, cleaning all the bathrooms in the house (have him use wipes and a non-toxic white vinegar solution, have him scrub the tub). Whatever you can figure out, if it's painfully boring, make him do it. AND he does chores until he gets that zip drive back to you. I'm sure it will put a fire under him to find it.

(By the way, the 'reason' chores work as a consequence: "The consequences are useful because they are boring – their intuitive/emotional brain has a chance to process, they are working physically – their cortisol/adrenalin levels (from being cross that they have to work) are reduced, and their reasonable/rational brain is put on hold because the first two things are taking up all the space in their heads." This is from the Kloppenmum blog.) A link to the full article: http://kloppenmum.wordpress.com/2012/03/15/parents-the-mo...

You should have taught him boundaries from birth.

Our son has always known he has to ask first before computer/phone games/wii time I think because we give him a set amount of time per day. He gets 30 min. on school nights and 2, 30 min. sessions on weekends and summer. Maybe you could try something like that. If he misbehaves, try taking away some of his minutes.

What are his favorite things to do? Watch TV? Play on computer? Gameboy? Ipod?

Take away all of them. Have your husband take the smaller items to work so that he can't find them. Disable the TV's and make sure he can't log in to the computer. He needs at least a MONTH of being without to get across to him that you will no longer put up with this.

He is not a little guy. He is old enough to know better and he's doing it to spite you. This is bad behavior on his part and you need to come down on him hard for it.

If you don't do it now, you may find that he does it at other's houses, and you will have people accusing him of stealing. That's bad news all the way around. Don't let it get that far - pull out all the stops here and now, even if it hurts you and your husband by not being able to watch the TV.

Dawn

I'm sorry!! I would not be a happy mommy!!

We have rules in our home - if it's not yours- DO NOT TOUCH IT.

if they break something of mine or lose something of mine? I can do the same back to them. It has taught them respect of property.

Some thumb drives and cell devices have locked keypads. I would make sure they are locked with a PIN number to unlock it.

I know it sounds bad - but I would keep my possessions like my purse and such in locked cabinets until he gets to the point where he ASKS PERMISSION for things.

I would make him retrace his steps for that thumb drive. At the age of 6 - he should know better than to EVEN THINK about getting into his mom's purse or taking things that are not his.

no electronics for a day? or no sweets for a day?

Do you discipline/punish him for it?

My son is 5 and he doesn't do those things. Not ever. Even when he was younger. He knows, to ask permission and not to touch our valuable things or things in my purse or wallet etc.

I have a friend, whose son, would (she would realize later), go in her purse, get money, and take it to school. This is elementary age.
So, if you don't want your child doing things like this, you GOTTA teach him rules, NOW.
Give him, consequences.
And doesn't your son remember... where he put all these things?

Keep your improtant things in your room just so you won't be without them.

Keep cells, nooks, all electronics up & away in your room.

Then if and when he does take something, take something away from him that as a consequence: cartoons for a day (or morning or night etc).

Ditto Cheryl B.

It'll be harder now that he's older, but yo uneed to set boundaries and be consistent about enforcing them.

Hi, L.F.

I would seek a Narrative Therapist to understand why
this behavior is meeting a need.

Good luck.
D.

What is the punishment for doing these things??? My kids learned when they were 2yrs old that they don't touch things that don't belong to them with a pop on the hand and a firm No said to them. As they got older it was either a pop on the butt or put in time out. You need to have a punishment for this behavior and stick to it no matter what!!

S.