Supervising Children Playing-where Are the Parents?

STAY ON IT SISTER! I do the very same thing. If the girls are even playing with dolls and "PRETEND" to be mean with the dolls, not even each other, I put a stop to it. There is TOO much meanness, disrespect, etc. as it is. Respect and consideration for others is TAUGHT. Kids (and lots of adults) need guidance and direction here. STAY on it!

I do watch my kids to a certain extent , for example I will step in if I see pushing/hitting or any kind of non friendly physical behaviour. However things like hoarding toys etc I leave and observe to see if they can sort it out between themselves , mom can't always be around to step in and kids need to learn by themselves how to play with other kids and share toys.

Hope this was helpful

I think a lot depends on the specific behavior and age of the children. I would step in when our kids were toddler age, but as they get older, they need to learn problem resolution skills themselves. I would step in for notably bad behavior (my child hits another child), but not for things like arguing over a toy. I want my kids to have the life skills to get by later in life and not helicopter over their every move. I pay attention to what's going on, though.

We try to keep an eye on our kids as well and find that there are times our kids get picked on as well. Just the other day we took the kids to McD's w/ a playround - a boy about 8 yrs old went up poking at my 4 yr old... to the 8 yr olds suprise, my son pushed him letting him know enough. When the boy went to react we told both of them enough. When the 8 yr old notice we saw the whole thing him & his older brother walked away. Thus, all the kids went there own way and started playing again. But I have a feeling it would have gone a bit farther if we wouldn't have seen it all take place.

We try to teach our kids to share & hope that they "stand-up" for eachother, but also want them to know how to walk away. Currently they are 2 1/2, 4 1/2 & 5 (6 in less then 2 weeks), so we are still trying to teach them, but all in all they do ok.

Personnaly, I feel a lot of parents don't keep an eye on their kids... we have 3 yr old kids playing in the streets here and parents inside the house doin who knows what. An elderly lady we know has had kids (ages 4 - 10) come to her house to ask if the can play football in her yard (she has a big yard) as late at 10:00 at night. She tells us all the time how refreshing it is to see how we are with our kids... although they are far from perfect & they do act up (they are humans & kids) all in all they are good kids. Most of the time they are respectful, they have a set schedule& rules and they go NO where without mom or dad watching over them well except the backyard - which has a 6 ft wooden fence around it, so we know they are safe there.

So you know, it does bother me to see 4 yr olds playing in the street & kids running around at 10 at night. It also bothers me to know parents are leaving their kids at home alone to walk the other kids to school. I don't let my house out of my sight if there is a kid sleeping in it. What it basicly boils down to is that everyone sees parenting in different ways - as to what is acceptable & what isn't. So, at this point, you know what is acceptable in your eyes, you have 2 chooses - confront the other parents about your feelings or don't allow you kids to play with the parents' children you have issues with.

Good luck and in my eyes most parents the are protective out of love aren't overprotective and don't overreact.

I think you're being a very responsible parent - we do the same thing. Your kids are a reflection of you, and it's our job as parents to make sure we bring them up well.

We have the same issue - especially in public places like parks, the play area at the mall. Many parents are more interested in talking on their cell phone than realizing their kid is being a bully and knocking over toddlers to get first in line.

I'm glad my husband and I are not the only ones appalled at how disinterested most parents are in actually being parents.

You don't say what age the kids are. If they're 1-2 it's much different than a 4 or 5 year old playing. The littler the kid, the more intervention. By the time they're older 3/4/5 then I think it's better to leave them to their own devices a bit. They need to know how to negotiate situations by themselves, the only way to learn is by having us moms step back a bit and intervene when it clearly is starting to get out of hand.

Side note. We were at a museum a while back and a bunch of kids were playing in the pillow room (way cool!!) Well, my DD took a spill and fell harder than she intended. She started to get a sad face and was making her way over to me when the mom sitting directly in front of me stood up and began (seriously!) hollering "where is you MOM, OMG are you OK!!!" I piped up, I'm right behind you. She gave me the stink eye because I wasn't quite as dramatic about my child being OK and evidently she believed the situation required some drama, where I didn't. Oh well, different styles I guess.

We all have different parenting styles, if you don't like the way your kids are being treated it's OK to leave, we've done it before. GL!!

I used to laugh at the term 'helicopter mom' for those who hover over their children but now that I have my own, I think I am that mom some times!

When at my house, I stay near the children to keep an eye on them (mind you my daughter is only 2.5). However, if the kids fight over a toy or argue, I often tell them "Work it out or we'll have to put the toy away." Sometimes if one child has been playing with it for a while and there is a struggle, I will give it to the other child, telling the first one that it's now the other child's turn and they can have a turn in a few minutes.

At people's houses, I am even more aware because I want to make sure my child is not getting into something, doing something she shouldn't be (ie: going up to the top bunk and playing - that scared me half to death!) - but my friends were fine because their children are used to it.

I think it's better to hover than not be around at all. That being said, I want my child(ren) to be respectful too and ensure that they are by saying please and thank you and helping to clean up, even if the parents say that their children) will clean it up.

I am split on the issue. I think it's appropriate to keep a close eye on your kid under two or three and teach them how to play with another child (it's still a lot of parallel play at that time, and teaching sharing), but preschool aged children need an opportunity to interact with peers without adult interference. That type of free play is important is your child is to learn to form friendships and social rules.

For me it's hard to back off, but now that my daughter is almost 2.5 I only interfere if it gets violent (hitting and pushing) or if she throws a tantrum over a toy, otherwise I know she has to learn to figure things out for herself.

As a teacher I feel your pain. Unfortunately no one requires you to pass an exam or go through an extensive certification process to become a parent. Take a deep breath and be kind. If you don't feel like playing nice avoid siturations where you will encounter immature people.

Take comfort in the fact that your children will have an easier time in life if they learn how to behave early.

you are not the only one we always watch our kids my oldest sn likes to play outside with other kid and he knows is there always daddy o mommy there otherwise he can not play in a public area we watch constantly our kids if they are hitting or pushing we go home ,there is a lot of rreponsable parents they don't care what they kids are doing .

I totally agree with you! There's a play place in the mall around where we live and I go there sometimes just to let my 2 y/o play (i haven't found a place for him to play other than that bc i'm still kinda new to this area) and I have seen moms bring in their children and sometimes leave them with the older kids. Like one time this little girl she had to be about 9 or 10 and her mom was on the upper level of the mall and the little girl had her baby sister there at the play area by themselves. I am very protective of my children. I'm not that easily trusting as that mom. And also about having to keep an eye on the other kids bc they can be so mean to other kids. I usually go get the mom and make her aware of it. I try not to be mean but when a 6 or 7 y/o is picking on a 2 y/o and nothing is being done about it i tell!

I agree. I feel like you do many times. Some parents amaze me!

This drives me crazy as well! My step siblings are the worst offenders, too. My husband and I feel like they know we watch our children (2 and 9) and will automatically watch theirs as well. It's exhausting!
We try not to intervene too much, but we have to always know where they are. We still watch our 9 year old walk to the bus stop!
The parents who don't even know where their kids are half the time make me very angry.
And with the other responses, we are obviously not alone!
Way to be a good, responsible mama!!

Wow! This is tuff cuz I can be very hovering and distant depending on circumstances. Example: My girls are almost six and starting to be very independant. When we are at Chuck e Cheese, they run around there so fast that I simply do not try to keep up - half the time. Especially, because I do give them a couple tokens so they have to keep coming back.
But, playing at the mall in their little play area can be very bad at times :) I have had trouble with my girls and other children more than once. Last time I had to leave because I was definately the only parent trying to get my children to be nice and did not see the other parent saying anything at all to her daughter. With that being said, the arguing kept up and I had to almost drag my girls out! I hope that doesn't totally "reflect" on me personally because I was never that way and don't raise them to be that way towards others. But they simply would not let this arguement go. My boy is eleven now and I totally hovered over him, most his life. Rarely, did I have a problem with him... it was usually bullying/ or a boy who would keep hitting him when he was only about four and his father would not step in at all. Was one reason why I broke up with him! (Half and Half) Step in, when needed... Let them work out some smaller issues themselves - even if it isn't always fair :) Hope that helps!