Stop Breastfeeding Is Complicated

Updated on June 14, 2010
I.E. asks from Atlanta, GA
8 answers

Hi everyone!
I have a 15 months daughter and i breastfeed still during the night (2 times) and in the day time, for her to sleep. I know i did not right making her used to sleep in this way, but when we are sleeping bad for more then 1 year its hard to progress and try new things.
My daughter doesnt like normal milk, which i try to give almost everyday. So i get worried by this reason aswell, of reducing breastfeeding.
Anyone had or has a similar problem??

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So What Happened?

It was very refreshing for me to hear what most of you said, thank you!! I will continue doing what i do, trying to make some progress in some possible areas. This method of "let it cry" is impossible for me. I will not see my daughter growing independent under tears. We all cry sometimes in life anyway, but dont need to start that soon. :))

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H.R.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

Completley agree with Carmen!!! Also on the cows milk issue. It is way to hard on there stomachs and it is so processed you don't get any calcium out of it anyway.
I think I posted this same comment last summer. We ended up weining by 20 months. I guess just let them do it.
All the best!

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M.W.

answers from St. Cloud on

Our son woke for night feedings till I weaned him at 18 months. Not that big a deal. You aren't doing anything wrong. You are nurturing your child. Giving her what she needs to feel secure! We do NOT and still don't believe in the cry it out method. I know he was nursing out of comfort and it was what he needed!

Our son also refused ALL bottles and wouldn't drink much from a cup. I would offer him milk, breast milk, and water in a cup. He was never much of a drinker of any of these...... It took about 6 months after I weaned him before I finally felt he was drinking enough! (AND usually it was water. REFUSED breast milk in a cup and rarely drank regular milk from a cup much more than a taste....) But he was having plenty of wet diapers so I didn't worry too much about it.

He is now 3 and drinks his water and milk great! (Has been for a long time now!) So, don't worry. Your daughter will be fine!

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J.K.

answers from Atlanta on

It's late to comment, but I totally understand. Mine weened themselves at this stage but Mama still coslept until they were 3 years old. Thank god for my patient dh! Just wanted to share some sympathy -- one day you'll blink and your dd will suddenly decide it's time:)

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C.M.

answers from Atlanta on

Hello I.,

Your daughter is perfectly fine and it's a good thing she doesn't like milk.

Please don't give your baby cow's milk!! Those proteins are too harsh for her delicate little stomach. If you feel you must give her milk, goat's milk is far better and way easier to digest if you are trying to wean. Raw goats milk is the best and you can get it from any local goat farmer although usually the raw stuff is labeled, "For animal consumption only." Although the best best best milk for her is YOURS, and yes even at this age. Your milk is like a magical elixir injected with momma's love that was engineered just for her little body.

I breastfed both of my children--one for 3 years and the other for two years. (I just weaned our two years old and he still sleeps in our bed with us and we love it.) He naps in his bed in his room sometimes too. Both of our children, co-slept in our bed from the minute we came home from the hospital, and we practice attachment parenting. I mistakenly thought I would never get our 8 year old out of our bed, and that I had spolied her too much. What I learned is your child will be just fine! Yes it's true that some other parents have weaned their children or have their children sleeping on their own in their own beds at this time, (or some fresh out of the hospital which is nuts to me!) , but that is not necessarily the only way to do things. Enjoy these years with your daughter. It's so nice to snuggle up in bed with them and nurse and love them. You have been given the job of Mommy for a reason. The world needs more properly nurtured kids and these years will fly on by.

My now 8 year old--who sounds just like your daughter--is a healthy well adjusted confident smart child who KNOWS she is loved and she happilly sleeps alone in her own bed in her own room, has sleepovers and everything else.

When you are finally ready to wean, one thing I did with my son was put bandaids on my nipples and say, "Mommy has an owwee!," he totally got it and had no problems. He's go to nurse and then say, Oh mommy has an owwie in his cute little sad voice. :) And along with the bandaids, wear a fitted bra to 24 hours around the clock for about a week with big chilled cabbage leaves in them. And when you shower put your back to the water so you don't get any warm water on those milkies or else it will get your milk flowing. (I had to stop breastfeeding because I had gotten pregnant and wasn't gaining enough weight.)

These best of luck to you!

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V.G.

answers from Portland on

I agree with Lynn Z! I nursed my son to sleep and whenever he would wake up at night, and he just gradually started wanting it less and less at night.
He's a GREAT sleeper now, and I wouldn't change any of it.
If people try to tell you that she shouldn't be feeding at night or that you're messing her up by nursing her to sleep- IGNORE THEM! She's YOUR baby and you are doing what is right for her.
Trust me, when she's 18-24 months and able to talk more, you'll see the incredible bond that this breastfeeding has given you both.
If its good for you and its great for her, then keep going momma! :)

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G.J.

answers from Savannah on

It is sooo hard to stop especially the older they get. I have 3 children. Two older boys - my first I stopped breastfeeding at 4 months but he started on a bottle at 2 months. My second breastfed exclusively for 12 months and weened easily. My third, my daughter who is now only 3, was IMPOSSIBLE to stop. I tried and tried and tried and sounded just like you. So hear comes some MORE advice for whatever it is worth to you. Maybe something in it will help.

At 15 months, my daughter would not take any other kind of "supplement". No milk, no formula, no Pediasure, nothing. She did eventually wean after 2 years which was too long for me- I know that sounds bad but society, friends, family make you feel bad about it. I was very worried and she did breastfeed a LOT longer than I ever planned, wanted to, needed to.

Obviously, your daughter still needs it and according to most breastfeeding experts what you are doing is NORMAL and part of it. However, in the US and our society makes us feel like we are doing something wrong. And in some ways, I felt better knowing I was adapting to what I needed to do to feel my best. So, whenever I was cutting out a feeding or trying to cut out the habit of her falling back to sleep nursing, I started to just cuddle with her more and lay down to go to sleep with her reassuring her Mommy is there and if and when she woke up I would soothe her back to sleep by holding her even staying in the bed. I also tried to let her take more right before bed. She did not end up stopping all nursings until age 2 though and more like 26-27 months so I wasn't as worried about other sources of milk fat by then and she loved ice cream. My second child weaned onto rice milk (sold in carton). He loved it when it soaked into rice krispies so they were soggy (almost like the mixed gerber baby cereal ) but with more texture. My daughter would not drink that but she would put it on cereal when she was a little older than yours. To this day she will not drink much milk. We tried chocolate milk which she will drink some. She LOVES yogurt and ice cream and that worked for us. I too was concerned at 15 months and wouldn't advise cutting cold turkey at this point. She is still young and even my bottle fed baby still had a bottle at 15 months. They have an innate desire to suck until 2 yrs. She would NOT take a pacifier. Both her and my 2nd son did not sleep through the night until they were 2 years old, he was weaned almost a year and still didn't sleep through the night! One was still breastfeeding the other was not. My first started sleeping through the night at like 6 months but I could respect his schedule. My daughter goes to sleep on her own NOW and is fine and hasn't nursed in a year. She has slept through the night from about 18 months on even while still breastfeeding. I wouldn't try cutting out nursing and having her go to sleep by herself at the same time. Take each new thing one step at a time. That worked for us and again mine was older than yours but I started trying to stop breastfeeding from about 9 -12 months! Actually, we never stopped trying to give her a bottle since she was born even with breastmilk in it. She refused any bottle, pacifier anything. We tried every sippy cup, straw, bottle, nipple, etc.... she refused. I know people say if she gets hungry enough she will take something else but mine wouldn't and even if she had her food, if she missed a feeding it seemed like she was clingier and more attached and determined to nurse after that. I won't let them cry it out for HOURS as some can. There is some crying and discomfort and a little is necessary but to ignore them for hours, with a baby just crying to me is inhumane. That method did not work for me for any of my 3 kids and me.

So I started to relax some and act like its no big deal and do what was needed. Slowly changing our routine and how we did things and that worked the best for us. It is SO hard I know and I feel for you. Do what works for the two of you given where you are at, for rest and health. I quit telling anyone I was still breastfeeding and avoiding the subject when she was about 18 months old due to negative reactions, unsolicited or judging advice and did what worked for us. Watch for her cues especially the older she gets and try and cut one feeding out at a time every month or so. Be there for her. It seemed like the more I wanted to stop and the more frustrated I got it seemed like that is when she really wanted to nurse and even moreso! I wouldn't try cutting out nursing and having her go to sleep by herself at the same time. Gradually and one step at a time worked for my daughter. I feel for you and your question brought back a really tough time in my life due to it all. It wasn't fun but she is healthy and hopefully the breasfeeding that has been done will have unforeseen benefits. Take care and good luck!

B.K.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with one post, my son wouldn't drink formula after I stopped breastfeeding at 8 months. I pumped and mixed my milk with the formula 50/50 then less and less till it was all formula, it took a while but he switched over. You may want to the the same with milk. Some kids are more sensitive to the taste and they have to be switched over gradually. Good luck.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

I nursed to nap and sleep as well, and didn't stop nursing completely till my son was 2.5 years old. What helped cut out the nursing to sleep was my BABYSITTER! She put my son down for his naps - he fussed, but it worked, and eventually I was able to put him down without nursing cause he was used to it with her. This gave me the confidence to stop the nightime nursings eventually. It was great. Perhaps that can work for you and help you transition. I never did cry it out with the sleeping. I just couldn't.

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