Advice on Weaning

I don't know if you tried this yet but I had the same problem with my daughter when I was trying to wean her so I just mixed my breast milk with the reagular milk and warmed it up and then started to take away more and more of the breast milk till she was completely on the cows milk. If you havn't tried that approach go ahead and see what that can do for you.

My daughter will be 12 months next week. We've been breastfeeding the entire time. She has always refused anything else, formula etc. She would not even take my breast milk in a bottle (I tried many different bottles). Like you, I love breastfeeding and would do it again, but I too was ready for a little independence. So one morning 2 weeks ago I just stopped (well sort of). I distracted her during the day and nursed her at night. I ended up mixing 1 part cows' whole milk with 1 part prepared formula (for the sweetness), which she drank from a sippy cup simply because I gave her no other choice. It was ROUGH for a few days. I was an emotional wreck. But once she got our new routine down (about a week) she was fine, and I felt more like me (I hadn't had that feeling since before I was pregnant). We're still nursing before bed. GOOD LUCK!!!!!

Since I work in this area my first question would be why do you want to wean?

I saw only one sentence about this
"It has been a wondeful year, but I'm ready for us both to be more independent."

American Academy of pediatrics recomends bf is the US until the age of 1. I actually attended a conference where the person who helped pilot this recomendation gave a seminar. A female MD and LC - lactation consultant. Anyway, after lots of research the Academy of pediatrics was able to agree BUT only to a year because our culture would never even consider the world wide recommendation which is until 2 years old. And not just for culture but for strong evidence that suggests from the ages of 1 to 2 children do not eat all food groups. They get picky.

Whats my point. My point is that if you are not ready to stop bf do not let society take this wonderful and nessecary gift away from you and your daughter. Weaning actually begins the moment you offer your child something other that breast milk! Many people dont know tha fact. So breastfeeding is only recommended exclusively until the 6 month of life. Once you start offering solids the amt of breast milk they take decreases if not alot some. And that is the begining of the path to weaning.

As far as the child needing your milk, you better believe she does. As a mother starts producing less milk the calorie content and nutrients get super concentrated. In some of our testing at our clinic we have found values as high as 87 calories per oz. For an exclusive baby that stays between 25 and 30 per oz but still depends on the child. And talk about immunities. Well when your child nurses our breast are a two way street the milk comes down, the child drinks, whatever is not consumed INCLUDING saliva goes back into the areolas. Next the body gets busy making antibodies for your child.

I say all this to make sure your making an informed decision. If you want more freedom from your daughter bf has nothing to do with it. She is your daughter and you are going to want to be around her. You will miss her the same until your last day on earth and enjoy her the same. I would say...purchase a good pump like Madela or anything not created by the bottle companies to mess up bfing (gerber, etc) Go on a vacation. Doesnt have to be out of town just you time. Could be at a local hotel with store bought groceries. Have a refreshing time as long as your family and work situation allow. But pump. I know some children will not take breast milk in a bottle but this is just to keep your milk supply. Then at the end of "mommy time" (we all need it) Make your decision.

If you decide to stop bfing your 1 yr old (not wean) take one feeding away at a time and remember that its your body. She needs your milk the 1st year of life (US) after that its a privelage. End with taking away the most important feeding usually the bedtime feeding. Be stern. Make sure that in your decision you are ready to follow through because giving in can be very confusing to a child.

Anyway my thoughts.

Hi E.,
I don't think it's bad if you are still breast-feeding her. Doctors say breastfeed your baby for as long as you can because research has shown that babies who are breastfed longer tend to be more healthy. I'm sure your daughter will let you know when she is ready to be done breastfeeding. I would suggest to still breastfeed but to also keep giving her cow's milk with every meal, not a lot but just enough so she can get used to the taste of it. She'll be drinking cow's milk before you know it. I know it might be tiring but try to cherish those breastfeeding moments, now that my daughter is weened off, I miss those breasfeeding moments. Well I hope this helps.

Good Luck
M.

Are you sure you want too? It sounds a little like you want to hold on to this part of your, and her, life! If you do, then by all means, start taking away a feeding at a time. But don't just quit because that's what sounds normal. I thought the same thing when my son turned a year, but then I just didn't feel he was ready. I did start taking away the feedings that were more about comfort/snack time, but kept nursing for both of his naps and for bed time. When he dropped his second nap, I dropped a feeding too. By 17 months he had basically done it himself. By 18 months, he didn't even want a bottle. I didn't read your bio, but I'm a SAHM, and can't imagine if I'd have cut him off at 12 months. If 17 to 24 months seems WAY to far away to consider, you can cut extra feedings sooner. Also, for me, the hardest one to break him of was the afternoon nap. Night time was pretty easy.
Take it easy, and have patients. ~J

Hi E.,
I breastfed my daughter through the first year as well and found it difficult to wean. The easiest way I found was to begin by skipping feedings. I would try to replace nursing with solid food, pacifier or activity. If I knew she wasn't hungry and was just looking for the comfort of nursing I would distract her by taking her outside to play or to another of her favorite activities. This way I was able to skip and prolong the time in between feedings eventually eliminating them. I continued this process until she was down to only nursing before bed, with which I used the pacifier to eventually skip. After 2 weeks she was done!I hope this is helpful. : ) Congratulations for nursing as long as you have and I wish you luck!

I'll tell you the secret my mom told me that works great. Breastmilk is very sweet, so when you try to give them cows milk, they don't like it. My mom told me to give my babies very strong strawberry milk. As soon as they take it good and wean from you, you start putting less and less in until they will drink the milk plain.

Slowly is all the advice I can give, if it helps, try pumping to a sippy cup for a bit to try to slowly wean. Also, for your health slowly wean so that you wont feel the pain. Definately cut out one feeding at a time. Maybe mix the two milks to wean her to the taste of cows milk. Hope that helps, and good luck.
T.

Hi there,

I nursed my second son for exactly one year, too. I was given really bad advice by my OB. He said to "bind my breasts and take tylenol" YOUCH! I was so engorged and it was so painful. I contacted LaLeche, and they practically laughed at that doctor's advice. They explained that I had to go about weaning my son gradually, for both of our comfort. They told me to express the milk that was building up, but not too much, so that I was telling my body not to make more milk. My son really went to the cup well ( I lucked out. Not happening with my son who is 17 months) and he liked acidophillis milk because it was sweet, I think. I remember reading that it's helpful to take the busiest part of the day and eliminate a feeding session then...so your child is distracted and less likely to nurse for comfort. I believe the nighttime nursing is the hardest to let go.

Good luck to you!
K.

No child, especially a breastfed one, WANTS to wean. Its much easier to wean a child from the bottle than it is from the breast because the breast represents much more than just food! From a strictly taste standpoint, your breastmilk is much sweeter and pleasant tasting than regular cows milk, so of course she will reject the cows milk - no one ever said weaning was an easy thing.
My suggestion is only offer her cow's milk from a sippy cup during the day - even though she doesn't like it now, if she is thirsty enough, she will drink the milk and will eventually take to it just fine, I promise. Offer the sippy cup all day long: at meal times, cuddle times, snack time,before and after nap time - hand it to her constantly and consistantly and she will learn to like and drink from it. She must be weaned to cows milk - unless she has special and/or diagnosed digestive issues, children are supposed to be weaned onto whole cows milk, and need to drink whole until they are 2 (the ped tells me they need the extra fat in the milk in order for brain development)). Girls are especially stubborn, so just keep at it: don't take her off the breast cold turkey though - still allow her to nurse at night, before bed, and in the morning until she is comfortable with the cows milk in the sippy cup. It may take awhile, but know that it will be much more painful to you than it is for your daughter!

I am trying to wean my son from the breast to cow's milk as we speak. I am trying to work on our 11am feeding and replace it with cows milk. I would try to give my son 1 or 2 oz of milk first (since I know he is hungry and thirsty). Sometimes he would take it and sometimes now. I think I made the mistake of allowing him to nurse after the milk instead of allowing the cows milk to be the only option. Also, my son would sometimes drink cows milk after nursing. Dont ask me why.
So I think I am going to only offer cows milk at 11am and no nursing tomorrow. If he cries then I have some pumped milk in the freezer and I will milk it with the cows milk like other moms suggested.
I am not much help but at least you know that someone else is working on the weaning at the same time.
By the way, I am in no hurry to wean the 6am nursing nor the before the bed nursing. Only the daytime nursings because I have to go back to work.
Good luck!!!!!

My personal opinion is to nurse as long as you both want to. I did the child led weaning, my son nursed until 2.5 yrs old; now granted by 2 he was only nursing 1-2 x at night. It was the best experience and I wouldn't change it at all.

It is deffinately a personal decision you have to make, society doesn't always look in favor past a year but it is your body you do what you feel comfortable with! As far as cows milk goes, don't worry about it; offer her whole milk yogurt. Rice milk might be a good alternative it's sweet like breast milk. What for possible milk reactions, very common these days.

Good luck!

Hi E.,

I'll keep this short, as you got a lot of responses...you have got to do this. Do it now before she gets any older. Right now, the feeding is a nourishment attachment. The older she gets, it's going to become emotional and eventually psychological. It is only going to get exponetially harder and harder as time goes on. If she does not want cows milk, there are tons of alternatives for you to try, but you have to stop making the breast milk an option. If she stops drinking milk, then there is nothing you can do about it, and you definately can't keep giving her mom's milk. Some children quit milk after breast and after formula, and this is just a matter of you finding other choices to nourish her appropriately that she will enjoy, as it can't be your milk, but it also doesn't HAVE to be cows milk. Good luck....

I weaned my son at 13 months. I slowly got him down to one feeding before bedtime a day. If you wean her completely and do it all at once your breasts will end up so engorged and full. I would suggest cutting out one feeding at a time. My son was also not too fond of cow's milk. I bought strawberry syrup and put a few drops in the milk to sweeten it up. Breast milk is sweeter than cow's milk, so they often don't like it at first. I eventually stopped putting the strawberry syrup in his milk, but it worked initially to get him started on milk. I would also suggest warming the milk up a tiny bit. It will be easier on her tummy, but also more like the temperature of breast milk. Good luck on weaning and great job for nursing your daughter a year!

I was lucky; my son just stopped breastfeeding one day. I took him to breastfeed, and he just did not want it. He quickly accepted the sippy cup with cows’ milk. The only thing that was bad was that I was still producing milk! Ouch! My advice for you would be to continue trying to give you daughter milk. Maybe try soy milk. It could be that she is allergic, or does not like the taste of cows’ milk. If that fails, just keep giving her milk every once in awhile, eventually she will decide to give up breastfeeding. Sometimes children need to take it slow, and this is just fine.

M. *~

Hi E.,

I also chose to wean my children at 1 year old, and it was actually pretty easy with both of them. First, I started giving them a sippy-cup with whole cows milk with lunch and dinner. I gave them just a little bit with the valve taken out so the flow would go fast, and they could easily understand what the cup was for. Since this was a new experience, they loved it. Once they got used to taking the cup, I started giving them a full serving of milk at lunch and dinner and a serving of 100% fruit juice at breakfast. My first son was able to keep drinking from his cups with the valves out, but my second son loved to pour his milk out, so he got the valves put back in. Then, I started taking away the nursings that were closest to meal times, and they were not missed at all. Next, I took away the last nursing of the day, but replaced it with cuddling while drinking milk from a sippy-cup. I used to nurse my sons as soon as they woke up in the morning and from their naps, so lastly I replaced those nursings with cups and cuddling. My youngest son is now 14 months old, and he is still getting his morning and after naps milk, but he has dropped his after dinner milk. He also gets a snack between breakfast and lunch, and one between lunch and dinner, and after he was completely off of breast milk, I started putting infant vitamin drops in his morning juice.

In answer to your other question, there is a new formula for older babies (9-24months) called Enfamil Next Step that you can use instead of cows milk, but formula is surprisingly expensive if you are used to breastfeeding exclusively. But who knows, your daughter may like the taste better. I had some free samples, and found that my son would take it mixed in his cereal, but he would not drink it straight.

C. : )

Hola E.,

I understand what you are going through. I nursed my daughter until she was 17mths but then she started to bite me so I decided that 17mths was enough. She nursed more during the nite...actually she was using me as a pacificer. Anyways, what I did was to give her cold milk in a cup with a straw. Each day I increased the amount and gradualy she accepted it. But of course it was a battle at the beginning. Well, I guess for me she sort of understood since she was a bit older when I told her that mommy doesn't have milk and she have to drink the milk that we all drink from. As for night time, it was the toughest.....she slept with us so instead of nursing, she would play with my hair to fall asleep. She cried for two weeks until finally she got used to playing with my hair. Eventually, I got her a doll with long hair...it didn't work very well with the doll but as soon as her hair was long enough she would play with her own hair. She's 4 now and she stills plays with her hair to fall asleep or when she's bored. I'm just glad that she didn't suck her thumb....well, my 8mths old son is sucking his thumb. That's going to be a challenge when time come to wean him from thumb sucking. I hope this helps! Take care, K.

I nursed my son until he was 15 months when he decided to wean himself. To transition him from my milk to cow's milk I combined 1/4 cow's milk with 3/4 breastmilk. I gradually added more cow's milk and he eventually took cow's milk only. This is a great time to transition to a sippy cup instead of a bottle, since they haven't received one this whole time. I hope this helps.