I'm trying to potty train my 2 1/2 yr old daughter. She is my 3rd and I've never pushed my first two kids to potty train but I'm really wanting her to be out of diapers. She goes to the potty about half of the time, but really doesn't want to go and even stickers and candy for reward don't matter too much to her. I guess I'm jealous of my sister's girl who just turned 2 in March and she is already potty training very well. I suppose I already know the obvious answer to this, but just looking for some affirmation.
Thank you so much for all of your positive and very helpful advice. I should not compare her to anyone else's daughter, so silly of me to do so. We have stopped the "training" and we will just revisit the issue when she is more ready. I'm going to keep her potty out and sticker chart up in the kitchen so that she can still see it. She's in the driver's seat. Thanks so much ladies!! :)
I firmly believe that potty train cannot be forced upon a kid. She'll let you know when she's ready for it.
Even if you can coax children to train earlier than what they are inclined to do, many (most!) kids get overwhelmed by looming parental expectations or the simple size of the commitment, and regression or prolonged training is more the rule than the exception.
Allowed to proceed at their own speed, kids show interest kids without urging, or even surprise their parents by announcing that they are ready. And then they are. Children WANT to train when they are ready, just as they WANT to walk and talk when they are ready. Rewards might be fun for some, but generally are not needed when the child is actually ready.
Comparing your daughter to anyone else's child will only become a source of unhappiness for you both. It's not a competition. Your sister's daughter may train well for awhile, then decide she's just not emotionally prepared to follow through. You get to observe and cheer or commiserate from the sidelines, but please don't force your daughter to join that team until she wants to. She will, and probably soon.
I have to agree with the other post. This is something that the child has the control over and will soon figure this out if you make it into a "bad thing". I know, I had twins that didn't potty train until 3 1/2 yrs and I look back at it now and realize the things I probably did wrong. Pushing it if they're not ready will only make it worse.
If you stay with this, you have to look at it that when she is ready she will do this on a full-time basis, so if and when she has accidents no matter how frustrating it is, take a deep breath, clean it up and move on.
The first thing you need to do is to let go of your expectations and jealousy. That is only making this harder on you both. She sees how much she is getting your attention by not going on the potty so maybe that is part of the issue. She is probably just not ready. Maybe she does not want to simply because you want her to so badly, or maybe her body is not ready. Remember, you do not know exactly how or what your sister did to get her daughter to potty train. Maybe more strict punishments or maybe her daughter's body is just ready sooner. 2 is very young to be potty trained so I do not think you should worry. I would honestly put the potty away or don't even ask if she has to go for about two weeks. Then revisit the issue. This is what my ped suggestion when my daughter was about 2.5 years old. I didn't follow his directions (LOL) but it may help with your daughter!
Your daughter is not too young but may sense the competition you are in and also may just need a few more months. Most of my kids were about 28 months and did fine and were ready then. It's an individual thing though for each child, although I wouldn't just let them decide if and when either.
The main thing is please don't compare your daughter to anyone, sister's kids or anyone else. That is going to cause problems for you and her and is not good. Some children do things earlier but that does not make them any better so why try to compete? Enjoy your little girl and accept her for who she is and when she is ready for each big step in life. I would say that when you relax I would guess she is really ready very soon.
Hi B.,
Potty training Q's are the most asked questions I get as a parent coach. I had a parent tell me today their daughter is ready physically, but just doesn't want to.
I explained to them that potty training is a way for kids who are physically ready, to have control over their lives. When you see your child, just not want to, I suggest you back off and let the child move forward as themselves. If you push, they will push back more.
If it is a battle of wills, talk about what kids who are potty trained can do, like go swimming at the pool, a special arts class, what ever you think your daughter may want to do. You could tell her when SHE wants to be potty trained you will sign her up for it.
When you give the kids the control, you will be amazed how fast they listen and do as you want.
R. Magby
She's not ready ( I am just confirming what you know). Good for your sister and her daughter. It's a milestone we all look forward to.
Sounds like you've done it the right way in the past. Why change your methods now?
:)
