Potty Training My 2-Year-old Son

Hi A.! In all honesty, you need to wait until he is ready to potty train. You cannot force him to go unless he is ready to. I tried to force my daughter because she seemed ready but she wasn't and once I backed off it only took about 2-3 weeks before she was ready to train again--in her own way. It was like I had to let her decide. She was 3 1/2 before she was fully trained. Good luck!

Boys are harder to potty train I have hard, it was for my two boys. My daughter was twenty months old when my son was born and I had two in diapers. I finally got my daughter potty trained about age 21/2. Just enjoy and love them. It will work out alright. If you push to hard they rebel and it causes more problems.

Hello A.,

Congrats on your pregnancy - how exciting! My daughter was 2.5 when my son was born. I first off just wanted to say that two in diapers - not a big deal at all. I remember for a short while fearing it, but then realized really how easy my life was because of it - no rusing to the potty while at the park with newborn in tow, etc.. Personally it can be easy or difficult either way, just depends on who you are talking to. My son showed signs of rediness at 18mos, I did nothing to encourage it as he was really to small to get himself up and down from the toilet and remove his pants/diaper quickly enough but he managed anyway here and there. Then he stopped playing around. He was officially potty trained at 3, but not before me making several attempts at training him - little did I know then, he just wasn't ready. This is why I believe we never "got it". Shortly before turning 3, I came across The No Cry Potty Training Solution by Elizabeth Pantley - I've recommended this book so many times here at Mamasource. I feel so strongly about it, it is a short and very informative read. You'll find out if your child is ready, if you are ready and if so then you'll get some easy steps to make it a success. When I read it what I learned was my son was more than ready, it was me. Once I was on board, he was "trained" in a few days and has never looked back. When kids aren't ready, potty training can take up to 6mos or they may catch on quickly but then regress. With my first child, my daughter, she actually started potty training around 2, then I had my son and she regressed. Then we moved and well, you see where I am going. She wasn't potty trained until she was almost 4. If you still feel your son is ready and it's not just you not wanting two in diapers, then go for it, just stay consistent. If he is going to be in underwear than you must take him potty on a regular basis - set up a bathroom routine, he will get used to going to the bathroom at these set times, every hour or so at the beginning. As for cotton underwear that is semi waterproof, haven't heard of it. There are re-usable "underwear" I got mine at One Step Ahead and my kids sometimes wear them at night. They will not hold a lot of pee though. My kids are 6 and 3.5 and wear pull ups at night. Night time and day time potty training are different. Most kids do not stay dry at night until the ages of 5-7. Yes, some do stay dry at night sooner but most do not, so don't confuse the two. Just work on day time for now.

Lastly, I understand your frustration, I felt it as well, but honestly, once I read the book that I recommended, I "got it" - you really must read it. You don't want to be frustrated or stressed when trying to potty train a child, especially one that isn't really in to it. They pick up on everything and really he isn't doing anything wrong. It's totally normal for him to still be in diapers and I swear, I'll say it one more time, aside from the expense and I know it's and expense, two in diapers isn't that bad.

Congrats again on your soon to be born baby girl!
M.

Hi A.......
I am a st. lic. child care provider and trainer. I've been providing "quality, intentional" care for well over 20 years..and have raised two grown daughters. I have taken more than anyone should have to take child development classes and had many many children come through my home over the years.
A two year old (boy or girl) is physically incapable of controling their bowels at that age. They are not able to handle the simple logistics of pulling down pants..getting on toilet...toilet paper issues..pulling up and putting back on clothing. It is just not possible. (I'm sure you will have others tell you I'm wrong..they toilet trained at 9 months...lol.
In my experience, by and large a boy needs to be three. That's the magic number. It might be a month or two before third birthday..or after..but you will know.
You can make yourself crazy..and him...and sit with him till he goes....but at this age you are heading for some MAJOY constipation issues.

Remember this....if you were to do nothing...he will potty train himself..it's a natural thing. So..my advice..is just to not stress and keep him in diapers for a while longer. Easy for you...and you won't stree the little guy out.
Just my advice...and good luck to you..

I am one of those people who does not understand the dread of having 2 in diapers... In my opinion, diapers are FAR easier and more convenient than potty training. Especially if the child is only marginally potty trained. For instance, you just sit down to nurse your infant, and the boy decides that he needs to go potty and he needs you to help him at that very second. You are struggling to your feet to help him get to the potty while he pees on the floor. Meanwhile, #2 pops off of your boob, and breastmilk is now dripping down the front of you, and there is a puddle of pee on the floor, in his shoes, and all over his clothes. If he is still in diapers, you can put off changing him for a few minutes. This is especially useful in the grocery store or other public places that don't have the comforts of home.

Don't push too hard. When he is ready, it will only take a day or so, and it will be his idea (which is always better)

Michelle S says it all! I feel strongly that you can't potty train until your child is ready. I remember feeling exactly as you did, but then I took the no stress approach. Potty training will happen, just not on our schedule. Don't push it if your little one is not interested, especially at a time when a big change is about to happen. Your little one understands that you are having a baby soon, but has a sense of uncertainty because he doesn't know what that really means. Congrats on the addition of 10 more toes to your family! Keep potty training fun!

Such good first hand advice from Michele S.

Just wanted to add... the pooping in a toilet is usually the 'last' of the phases of toilet training. Kids are usually reticent about this, and pooping IN the toilet is a fickle thing. And YES, it is very common that they go off in a corner and 'hide' and then are pooping in their diaper. This is a phase they go through at about this age/time. My kids did that, and my friends kids did that, and my other friend her son did that up until 3... and then all of a sudden he was ready to poop in a toilet and just went one day.

Then, night-time 'control' is another thing all together. Sort of a separate thing in itself. As Michele said, FULL night time control is not something that at this age will be attained. It is attained when they are older. Thus, you need to figure out what you want to put him in, during the night. Another good thing, is having a waterproof bed-pad under the child...so that when there are accidents you won't have to change out and wash the ENTIRE bedding and sheets each time. I always keep an extra or two on hand as well. That way I always have a clean one ready to use.

But yes, they will regress at times, they will ebb and flow about it, they will have spurts of success or not. ALL normal. But just be consistent. Not pressuring or punishing though. AND a child KNOWS full well when WE want them to be out of diapers, but they are not yet... and so the vibes are felt by the child.

I know it's not easy and you want him out of diapers... but, a child doesn't understand that like we do.

All the best,
Susan

Hi A.,
I totally understand where you are coming from I wish I had some marvelous advice, but I don’t! I have the same situation and can’t figure it out either…so I cling to what my pediatrician said, and many others, she will do it when she is ready although I am not crazy about having two in diapers I guess it is the way it will be. My mother in law swears that once my 2.5 year old daughter sees her baby brother, due in April wearing diapers she will want nothing to do with them? Time will tell, good luck it sounds like you are a great mom trying your very best and that is all we can do!

If he is not ready don't worry. Having two in diapers is not so bad. I have two girls ages 2 and 4. They were both in diapers until my oldest was almost three. Believe me, diapers is SO much easier than trying to find a potty every 20 minutes with an infant in tow. For me, when my girl was newly potty trained everywhere we went she wanted to use the potty (it was very exciting for her) and I couldn't say no. Also, waiting until she was really ready made it so easy that she trained in one day.
I have cute pictures of them both in diapers. I am glad I didn't rush the training.
G.

Sorry, but you can't make a kid ready for the potty earlier than his body is ready. I had kids in diapers for 8 years and 5 of those years I had two kids in diapers. A kid is ready when they can tell you they are wet either verbally, pointing, or bringing you a diaper to change them. Then it is time to start teaching. You might as well know now that you cannot impose your will on your child's physical development. Please don't make this an issue with your son. It will just cause you grief and him misery. Boys are later to develop than girls and the average age for me was about three for each child. I didn't push it and when they were ready, it only took a couple of days. Please get a good book on potty training. Also have your husband show your son how to stand up and be a big boy. Sometimes that helps too. Good luck.

A.

You got a lot of advice already. I only wanted to tell you that I have 4 boys three of which are still in diapers. My oldest (now 6 1/2 years old) refused to wear diapers until after he was four years old. Now i have a 3 1/2 year old who just outride refuses to give up his diapers, even telling his preschool teacher: "I don't think so." when asked to go to the potty for mommy. My two babies are too little to even think about getting started, one just turned two a week ago and the other is only 6 months old.

I have been thinking about my two year old though. Because if he goes maybe my older one would go too. But I know it's not going to work. I will have to be patient and wait just another 6 months or so.

Good luck.

Hi, A.,

I put Potty Scotty training pants (super-absorbent underwear) on my two-year-old. I think that they gave me an extra five minutes or so to get to the potty before carpet, upholstery, etc. got wet. In that sense, they are useful. They are harder to pull down than regular underwear, though. As such, they are good for situations in which an adult is around to help them get their pants down to use the toilet but not so great for situations in which a toddler needs to get his own pants down.

Unfortunately, I don't have any advice on how to speed potty training. I'm still slowly working on potty training my two-and-a-half-year-old son.

Good luck,
Lynne E

Hi A.,
There are three things that we can't force our children to do. Eating, pottying when we want them to and lastly, sleeping. yes, we can train them, or we can be in tune to their bodies. But, in my opinion, your son is a little too young. And like others have said, you are asking for some extra work for you once your little one is born. I do understand that having two kids in diapers can be a hassle and more expensive than we want, but in the over all scheme of things, it would be cheaper for you to just keep him in diapers until he is ready. Think about it, once your baby is born, will you want to jump up and race him to the potty so he doesnt have an accident...or worse yet, clean up an accident once it happens.

I have four children and with my first, I majorly messed up with the potty training issue, I gave her treats for going in the potty...she used the potty to manipulate me! I learned with my other 3 that they are the ones that are in charge of this department....we cant make them pee, if they dont want to. I remember sitting my oldest on the potty and telling her that she needed to go. she held it...within 3 minutes of being off the potty, she peed everywhere! Too frustrating! She was the one who had all of the control!

Good luck with your potty training adventure....it can be so easy for some and a challenge for other babies! Good luck,
T.
Oh yeah one tip I have for you. When you start having him pee standing up. You can put a square of toilet paper in the toilet and have him aim at the square, that might make it exciting for him. Also, it is a good idea to try and do the training during the spring and summer months...that way they can run around with a pair of underwear on while you play and hang out outside. There are some books out there that you may want to read....Potty training in a day is one book that I know about.

I am not a potty training expert. I have an almost 4-year-old who pretty much trained himself - all I did was tell him it was "time," put him in underwear and he did it. My 2-1/2-year-old son sounds a bit similar to yours. He loves to tinkle in the toilet, but has yet to poop, and I haven't figured out the solution yet, so I'm just waiting. But I don't have a new baby on the way - I can understand the urgency!

I just wanted to tell you, if he is not really potty trained by the time the baby comes along, it is not really that bad having 2 in diapers. My first was only 15 mos old when his little brother was born, and I had about a year and half with 2 kids in diapers, I even did cloth diapers (Fuzzi Bunz - very easy) for most of that. I think I would rather have 2 in diapers, than 1 in diapers and 1 having accidents (I would much rather change a diaper than clean up an accident).

But I'm not trying to discourage you! Hopefully you get some great ideas here and can get him trained before his little sister is born. I just wanted to give you a little encouragement that if it doesn't turn out that way, it's really not that bad!

Good luck!

Hi A.--congrats on your new baby. I understand what you are worried about with having 2 babies in diapers, but it is not that bad. I think it sounds like you son is just not ready. Children this age don't have a lot of control about what happens in their life--but they are in control of their own bodies and trying to take that away from them(by potty training them before they have made the choice for themselves) can only result in frustration for both child & parent. You are having your new baby in 3 months and the chances of your son regressing after the baby comes are very high--so all your hard work would be for nothing. It is going to much easier on you to enjoy your last 3 months with him without the pressure of potty training (you are all about to go through a significant family change, especially him--he's never had to share you before). Him being a BIG brother is going to be a useful tool for you as he gets used to the new "intruder" in his home. Wait a few months after you have the baby until he has adjusted to your new circumstances and then introduce him to the idea again. Play up the fact that he is the big brother to this baby and that one of the special things about being a big brother is getting to go on the potty and wear big boy pants. (Or something to that effect.) Each one of my kids was born before my previous one was 2, so I have been in double diapers a lot (I had 5 in 7 yrs) and it was much easier to deal with a newborn without the stress of having to continue potty training-don't do that to yourself. Really enjoy these last 3 months having your son all to yourself and help him get ready for what is coming to change his life. Potty training will happen and if it is a little later but everyone is happy and not stressed--then all the better. Good luck.

Having two children in diapers isn't the worst thing in the world. Do what you feel is right after weighing all your options, but don't feel bad if you decide to wait until after your baby is born and everyone has adjusted to the new life. That may mean a year from now you start trying to potty train again (or more). But hey, most boys aren't trained until they're over 3, even four or five for some. So unless you're willing to deal with the frustrations of forcing a child if they're not ready, just wait for now and conquer the battle of life with two children in diapers.
I've had two in diapers for 18 months and it's really no big deal to me. I think they'll potty train at the same time (son 3 yrs, daughter almost 18 months). We're slowly starting now, just letting them each take turns sitting on the potty during 'naked time' before bed. I also have a friend who's got four little ones and they're all in diapers (two just at night). She says she just does a little assembly line for diaper changes and it really doesn't take much more time or effort than one child.
Best of luck in your decision. And enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!
~N.

It sounds like he just may not be ready to be fully potty trained. I potty trianed my son at 2 and a half and it took almost 6 monthes just over his 3rd b-day before he figured out the feeling to go poop and that we don't go in our pants. I think you have a ways to go and you just may have 2 kids in daipers. I wouldn't push him bc he may regress even more. also being pregnant and your son being so young still you may potty train him but when the baby comes he may regress bc of the new baby you might be setting yourself up for many accidents in the future if you start to push him harder.

All I can say is stick with it! I am in the same boat, my son just turned 2 in January. Target has underwear that is cotton in the inside and plastic on the outside. I used these for the first few days. They will keep your floors dry, but his bottom wet!! My son has been in underwear since Jan.4th and I have not turned back to daipers!! Keep moving forward with him and he will get the hang of everything!! Good Luck!!

Your son may not be ready just yet, and trying to force him merely because you don't want two in diapers at the same time may backfire. If he's not really ready, he may revert back to having accidents after the baby arrives anyway. I've heard it takes longer for most boys to be toilet trained, and with any child, if you start pushing them too soon, all you do is drag out the length of time you are training (you may be trying to train him for a year, rather than a few weeks because he's not ready right now).

Good luck. I won't have a choice about having two in diapers. I'm 30 weeks pregnant with twins, so that will be our new way of life soon!

Pull ups never worked for my son because they are just as absorbent as diapers so it did not bother him to go in them. The cotton potty training pants are a lifesaver!