Special Education Preschool Experience-Long Post

Updated on January 14, 2011
T.N. asks from Los Angeles, CA
11 answers

Hi Moms.
I wanted to hear from other moms who have had their children in special education preschool through their school district. What was your child's experience like? Did it help your child? When did you child stop receiving special education and was able to be mainstreamed?

My personal experience with special education goes like this: I took my son to a new daycare at 2 years of age and after about 2 weeks the teachers were recommending that my son get assessed for early intervention at a regional center. He was not communicating with the teachers. I took him to a regional center and even though he was found to be delayed especially in speech, he was not delayed enough to qualify for services. I had his hearing checked about this time and hearing came back great. I thought that I would wait till 3 years of age and see how he progressed. From age 2 to 3 years, his behavior at the daycare improved remarkably, not that he was bad before, just not communicating his needs or wants, he matured a lot and felt comfortable with the teachers. Just before he turned 3, the teachers were saying what a well behaved child he is and that they never have problems with him. However, he is still speech delayed and was not learning the academics. He would take worksheets and crumple them up and throw them, in a kind way. He speaks to me and my husband but mostly one-way conversations occur. He will ask to eat, go to the car, take a bath, talk a walk etc. Or he will boss his younger sister around. His understanding of speech is much better. He understands mostly everything. He is a bit of a drooler (not too bad) and likes to mouth things sometimes. His daycare teachers say that he is not learning the academics. He really only wants to learn about cars and trucks, this is the only thing that keeps his interest. He has no interest in shapes, colors, letters. He is also anxious around strangers unless they talk real sweet to him, then he warms up, but it will take him a while, several days to utter a word to someone new. Also, his pediatrician at his 3 year appointment recommended occupational therapy for him, but also said that my child seems to have to be in the mood to do something. Well, given his academics and speech delay, I had him evaluated at the local school district. Well, they said that he qualified for a 5 day a week special education preschool program. He receives a low student to teacher ratio class, that pulls him out for occupational therapy and speech therapy. He has been attending for a couple of months. He takes the bus from his daycare( I work almost full-time). The school and the daycare are very close to each other. Daycare teachers say he is doing better and sitting down and not crumpling papers now. I know that the special education preschool cannot be bad for him, i just wish he did not have such a full day with daycare and preschool. However, I do think he enjoys getting out of daycare and going on the bus for a change of pace. He likes to constantly be doing something and has a short attention span, unless it has to do with cars/trucks. he also loves being outdoors. He has very specific interests. On the other hand, my mom thinks that he absolutely does not need special education and no child does unless there is an obvious problem (i.e. Down Syndrome, autistic (not on the spectrum, but obvious social disconnect etc). Sometimes I tend to agree with her, but other times not. My brother was very speech delayed. he did not start uttering till 3 and had major behavioral problems and fear. He is fine now, speaks 2 languages, graduate degree, very social, so she thinks my son is light years ahead of my brother. I just need to know from other moms who have had their children go through a special education preschool program and how it had benefited their child.
Thank you for your time!

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So What Happened?

I really enjoyed and appreciated reading all of the answers from all sorts of perspectives. I will continue him in his special preschool, as it anyways, he would be in daycare during this time most of the week except Friday. My initial problem with the special education preschool is that they wanted five days, I thought they would have recommended three days. Fridays was a day that I usually took the kids to the park, beach, errands, just spent time with them. But we have learned to work around the pre-school. Also, they do teach the kids preschool level academics at the daycare for three hours, so he is getting exposure from both "typical" and "special" kids. In addition,we do see a well-respected pediatrician who is not an alarmist, so when he told me my kid could benefit from some occupational therapy, that is what somewhat convinced me. He is making progress everyday and talks more and more. As a note: the reason he did not qualify for early intervention is because the state lowered the bar due to budget cuts and he had a much better day at early intervention than the day he was tested for the preschool. He did not want to do anything the day he was assessed, so I think this had a lot to do with it. I am noticing more and more progress with his speech everyday. Thank you all for taking the time to answer. I really do appreciate your time. Also, everybody that I have spoken to speaks highly of the special-ed preschool. One last thing, all of the kids seem like a great mix of kids, in fact 80% of them I would not even be able to tell "typical" or "special", but I am not a specialist.

More Answers

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

Sure your brother turned out fine but I can tell you this isn't always the case as each child and each challenge is different.

I work in a high school setting and have seen first-hand what happens to kids when their special needs go ignored for years due to the stigma associated with being autistic, learning disabled, etc. At the age of 3 this simply cannot be harmful for him. Also at the age of 3 it is completely normal for a child to be shy around strangers and need a little time to 'warm up'.

In my opinion, I'd rather get the help now when your child still likes school and hasn't had their self-esteem destroyed because they've been struggling. When parents wait too late because they've denied there was a problem or just hoped that they would grow out of it, well, it gets harder and harder to undo the years of feeling like a failure and being frustrated at school. Bottom line? Right now it can't hurt and if his teachers and his doctor are recommending it, I'd say go for it.

4 moms found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from New York on

Your mom has forgotten how difficult life was for your brother, I am sure. Most of us see the positive outcomes and forget the torment and struggles that often precede them. I am glad that your brother has found so much success in his life, but your brother and son may have two entirely different reasons for delay.

I know that it seems extreme, but I can give you a different perspective- a special education administrator (who worked with preschool children). Early intervention, including preschool special education can be very very powerful, especially with respect to language development. Most children who were referred to our team were not found eligible for services as comprehensive as your son's program. The majority of children who were approved for services were provided with 2-3 itinerant speech sessions per week, not 1/2 day programs. If your son met the criteria for a "program", then his needs must be fairly significant.

No one can answer your question regarding "how long", although I think we all wish we could. Each child is different and each family is different. A child whose parents work with him or her every day and reinforce the skills being taught will likely require less support as they get older. A child who has a structured program that targets his or her needs early in school will be better equipped to handle a "mainstream" program upon entering school-aged eligibility.

It sounds like your son is getting just what he needs. Ask a ton of questions and keep on top of his annual testing. Ask the teachers and therapists to explain the assessments to you and ask how they will be monitoring his progress (aside from testing).

Good luck!

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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

I would say, your EI people were totally wrong, and they should have told you that even if your son did not qualify for state services, that you should take him to get private speech therapy because the states qualification level does not mean that he did not need serivices at all. State services, like ECI and special education preschool, and then special education once he gets to elementary school are not designed to be all that any child needs. They are there to make them "functional" in the classroom. It would be my opinion, as an advocate for kids with special needs, that a child who qualified for a special education preschool a year after he was not qualified for an ECI program, that the ECI therapist made a huge mistake, or the agency had lowered thier qualifications to a dismal level, and that they did your son a huge disservice. I say it on this site over and over again...never wait on development, early is best, always supplement public with private service and get a private evaluation that you own, so that you know more about what your child needs than any public agency. What MR says is so true, and I see those kids she helps every day, and it is much more difficult to back track than it is to hit the issues head on.

Try to explain to your Mom that you hope she is right, but you are not taking any chances. Your brothter's experience, and any experience that any other single child has means nothing to your son. What matters is that he gets what he needs, and he gets it when it is most effective.

You need to know that the school district is doing what is appropriate for your son. Frankly, they almost never offer more than a child needs (they are not required to) and they very frequently offer much less than they need. I would not have a job it schools identifed and served kids well all the time. If I were to take a bet, I would be right most of the time if I guessed that your son needs more than the school distrcit is giving him. That is not to say that they are not doing a good job, that is just the conjuction of two realities. 1st, that the school really is not there to be 100% of any child's treatment program (if, that is you want to maximize your child'd potential-that is not the obligation of the school district) 2nd that many school districts don't even meet the standard of "functional" in a school setting.

That being said, make an appointment with a Developmental Pedicatricain. You can find them at children's hospitals, and you really need this kind of work up for your son. This kind of doctor will call in every specalist he needs and write up one report for you and tell you exactly what your son needs, and you will know that there are no state agencies or special edcuation directors who have decided to cut any budgets, no OT's with limited schedules, or missing intervention specialist from the staff that have influenced the recomendations. The things I just listed are not supposed to influence state run program recomendations, but they do, and the do so at a rate the keeps me busy. You need to know what you son needs, and you need to provide what ever the school does not in a timely manner so that your son does have that chance to be included (mainstreemed is not what you want, that word means that a child with needs is dumped into the regular education program without help or supervision-you want inclusion.)

It will take many months to get into see a Developmental Pediatrician. In the mean time, see a private speech therapis and OT and get evaluations, and start private thearpy in addition to his program. Make what ever sacrifice you need to. I would be willing to bet that you will be like almost everyone else, and that he will need private services in addition to his school serivices and that your private therapists will identify issues that the school district has failed to tell you about yet. The sooner you get therapy, the beter. The more therapy you get, the beter. Again, make the sacrifice, it is worth it in the long run, and the only thing you have that is free in the whole endevor is time, and you can't get it back once it is gone, and it is ticking away for your son.

What you are asking is, can my son be typcial later in life? Well, no body knows, but he has a better chance of doing that if you keep him in the public program and get him private serivices to supement his public program and know for sure exactly what your son needs by getting him a full private evaluation by a developmental pediatrician. I can tell you this, the real question you want to ask is, how do I make sure we get him the best services now, especially if he does not seem typcial once we get to Kindergarten? And that, is the same answer. You don't want to wait to up his services, you want to do so now. Hope for the best, but know that you have everything he needs if it does not turn out that way.

One last thing, you do not know what your son's diagnosis is, so while you can probably say that he does not have downs, you cannot say much more than that. He has not been seen by a Developmental Pediatrican and he needs to be to get a medical diagnosis. Go see one as soon as you can so that you know what you can say about your son. Schools do not make diagnosis...doctors do.

Good luck! log on to www.wrightslaw.com and start learning about advocacy too!

M.

2 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i can't see how special ed will hurt him, but i'm also concerned at how many littles are labeled as needing special ed when they are just on their own timelines (as your brother was.) the expectation that tinies should be focused on academics at age 3 is just so out of whack. however, it does seem as if YOU (who know your child best) feel that the communications issues warrant some intervention, so it's good that you're getting help.
khairete
S.

1 mom found this helpful

J.U.

answers from Washington DC on

My son has had early intervention services and I think that sometimes the thought of our children being "different" or needing more then the "typical" child is hard to swallow. Your mother should be more supportive. Your doing the right thing for your child. I agree 100% with the previous poster
M R. You want your child to be the very best that they can be. It is preparing him for his schooling so that he can be at his other peers level. It is building confidence. Maybe you can try to take a peek in the classroom one day and see some of their methods and it may make you feel more comfortable? Maybe too, you can try to see if there are other parents you can network with to discuss your thoughts and feelings so you don't feel alone. Parenting has changed so much since our parents generation. Not that we didn't have good parents but we are more involved in the everyday things. Keep positive and just look at your childs progress, that should say something. Take care.

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N.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi there,

I definitely agree that going to special education preschool will not hurt him. In fact it can only benefit him. Early intervention is so important no matter what the condition. My son was diagnosed with autism. He is very high functioning, has always hit his milestones and always had language. He started attending special education preschool through our school district when he was 3 1/2. He is now 9 years old and has been mainstreamed since kindergarten. It was a positive experience for him and I do believe it helped him prepare for kindergarten.

If you have specific questions, you can send me a message. Best of luck to you and your son. =)

N.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

My 8 year old has autism and was in the special ed preschool in my district's and it was pure hell what we went through.They had no clue what they were doing with her. She had behavior issues and wasn't potty trained and you would have thought they had never been around kids before.

BUT she received speech and it helped her so much!! It was the Autism aspect that they had no clue with long story.

Have your child evaluated by the district. Your mom must mean well but she can't diagnose your child and if your child needs services they can provide why not get them for him?

I agree with Martha, listen to her advice she is pretty good!

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J.Y.

answers from Chicago on

My son is in a special education preschool. Because he was transitioning from early intervention he began preschool on his third birthday. Yesterday my son turned five. These past two years have been wonderful for him. I'm sure he would've grown and matured whether in school or not, but I really believe it has been very helpful to him. My son doesn't have any specific disability. Due to a rough start in life (he's adopted) he had some delays as well as difficult behaviors. I struggled with whether or not to send him to school. I am so happy that I chose to. He loves school. His self-esteem regarding education is soaring, and he has learned a lot. Most of his education has been focused on social/emotional things and communication as opposed to acedemics. He will be moving to a transitional kindergarten next year with the goal of completely mainstreaming him in first grade. I think that because of the advances and positive experiences he has had in preschool he will be better equipped to be successful and happy in school in the future.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

If he is progressing and happy, don't let your mom - or anybody else - tell you that it's not the right place for your son. I know that it's hard for many to get over the special-ed stigma, but you just need to put it aside.

My son went through a program in our district in first a self-contained and then an inclusion preschool class. He is now in a regular kindergarten class with some pull-outs for speech and some extra academic support (just had his IEP today!). He never would be where he was today without the great program.

And as a side note: it's a GOOD THING for kids to be exposed to children with different levels of ability and funtioning. It shows them that people are different and that is ok. I put my daughter who is gifted but with severe anxiety in a special ed preschool, and it was awesome for her. She was a wonderful model of academics and behavior and made great friends of all kinds of abilities.

Keep an eye on your son's class to make sure that he is in with a good mix of kids and that his specific needs are being met. If they are not, you can always go back to the school and request a different placement.

Also - ask your brother about the challenges that he had when he was a kid & what he had to work through to get where he is today. I'll bet that he would be very supportive of giving your son a jump-start.

Good luck & good for you - and your kiddo!

Updated

If he is progressing and happy, don't let your mom - or anybody else - tell you that it's not the right place for your son. I know that it's hard for many to get over the special-ed stigma, but you just need to put it aside.

My son went through a program in our district in first a self-contained and then an inclusion preschool class. He is now in a regular kindergarten class with some pull-outs for speech and some extra academic support (just had his IEP today!). He never would be where he was today without the great program.

And as a side note: it's a GOOD THING for kids to be exposed to children with different levels of ability and funtioning. It shows them that people are different and that is ok. I put my daughter who is gifted but with severe anxiety in a special ed preschool, and it was awesome for her. She was a wonderful model of academics and behavior and made great friends of all kinds of abilities.

Keep an eye on your son's class to make sure that he is in with a good mix of kids and that his specific needs are being met. If they are not, you can always go back to the school and request a different placement.

Good luck & good for you - and your kiddo!

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C.P.

answers from Provo on

I have never had one of my own personal children in special needs pre-school but I have taken a bus load of them in. I have got to say that this is my favorite age. It is so remarkable to watch them progress after just a month. I think those pre-school teachers are great people. They know just what to do and say! Most of the teachers that I have been around take their job very seriously. We have had children on the bus that did not talk and then one little boy turned to me and said, "I love you!" It still brings me to tears. So basically I can say that I have had many children in special needs pre-school offered through the district. The first month is usually hard for the parents and the children and then after the first IEP then things change overnight. It depends on the level of disability as to when they will get mainstreamed. I think that the best way to deal with a disability is to be aware of it and find the best way to overcome it.

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B.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

Before you sign on to anything read:
Thomas Sowell 's books
Late talking Children
and The Einstein Syndrome.
Your brother is probably a good "case" to study.
I had a son who turned out very much like your brother without
anything special except school and sports. Music lessons are
a good idea.

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