A lot of questions!
First, you should contact the nearest children's hospital and get an appointment with a Developmental Pediatrician. This will take many months before you will be seen. Call your insurance company to see if you need a referal.
The diagnosis of SPD will not be recognized by the school system under IDEA. It is not included in any of the 13 categories underwhich she could qualify for services. It may be consisdered as a related service need (for OT) if she has a qualifying diagnosis and needs special education serivices (she must have both a dx and a need to qualify under IDEA.) She will only qualify for the related service of OT if she qualifies for special education. Her need for exculsive OT, even if very great, will not qualify her if she does not have a diagnosis and is still making the grade in school. Many people missunderstand how this works, including doctors and therapists who will tell you that she qualifies. It is not that simple.
If you think that she has ADHD, that is a diagnosis that qualifies for special education under the category of OHI (other health impairment) IF the child needs special education, which in turn, would mean that if she had a need for OT she would get it.
It would be rare for a child with ADHD (unless very severe) to qualify for services prior to kindergarten. While they are not supposed to limit according to dx, they do, and they get away with it just fine, even if they are not supposed to, that is the reality of how IDEA works.
If your child is very bright, and is otherwise doing well in school, she may not qualify at all, no matter what the diagnosis is or what her doctors and private therapists say. If this is the case, and she does not need special education, you will be providing all the services she needs for her disablity, and the choice of public or private is dependent on your situation, and what is available to you. If she does qualify for public school serivices, you will still have to provide private services to maximize her potential, because the public school will assume some, but not all, of this responsiblity. The public school is required to make her "functional" in the classroom setting, you are responsible for maximizing her, or not, but you cannot get that from the school unless they decide to give it to you (rare, but not unheard of.) Chances are that the level of public services will be somewhere in between functional and maximum, but you need to know what maximum is so that you can provide the rest.
If your child is functional in the classroom, you will likely not find her offered special education services until you can prove need, usually at the end of the third grade when they take a State assessment that the school cannot manipulate to deny services. Almost every other assessment can be manipulated by school districts who want to do so, such that your child will not meet the second half of the requirement "educational need." This is the most common conflict that parents with high functioning children face when trying to access public services through IDEA. Being ready is essential. Start reading about advocacy at www.wrightslaw.com to find out how to navigate the system.
You can also, right now, get the school to evaluate your child. Do not put off the private evaluation, you should hold and own the evaluation that contains your child's diagnosis, and you should never know less about your child than the school does. Use your private evaluation to keep the school honest. You are using the correct langauge by saying that you suspect ADHD. If you write to your school district and request an evaluation, by saying that you suspect that your child has a disablity, ADHD, they are then obligated to evaluate her. Read about that process at wrightslaw too.
Dr. Mel Levine and Dr. Russel Barkley are terrific resources for you. They explain ADHD and give great strategies that will be helpful.
Good luck,
M.
Just a quick note, as an educational advocate who deals with IDEA everyday, I can say without any doubt that you will be very disapointed if you put your child in a unalateral private placement and expect to get the school district to pay for it. This almost never happens, and if you go about a placement in this way, it is already been deemed to be unreimbursable by every circut court in the country. Get on wrightslaw and do your due dillegence. The system is far more complicated than most people realize, and while there are good services to be had, you need to know what you are doing to get them. First thing is to learn what the myths are.
Another quick tip: Do not call the school. Write the school to request evaluation. If you call, they can say they will, and then not do a darn thing and get away with it. If it did not happen in writing, it NEVER happened. This is one of the very first rules of advocacy. If you want something, put it in writing. Also, if someone calls you, get their email address and send them an email as soon as you get off the phone that summerizes the entire converstaion, at the end of the email write the following: "If I do not recieve written confirmation that I am inaccuate (by date/ 10 school days forward), I will assume my understanding is correct." You are letting them know many things by doing this. First, they will not try to pull as many things on you, second, they will know that you know your rights, and third, they may not manipulate the data if they think you are going to be able to expose them. WRITE, date, save, make a copy, put it in a binder with every scrap of written mateiral in it, in cronological order. Start out this way, and your life will be much better.
And more...private placements do not have any obligation to provide special education services, to follow an IEP or a 504 plan. Some private placements will have services available for a fee. Some private placements for children with disablities offer excellent educational opportunities, but also very high price tags. The choice of public, vs private is contingent on whether or not your child can do the program as the program comes for private placements that do not cater to the disabled community and they are under no obligation whatsoever to accomodate a disablity beyond ADA access (which is limited) and ADA granted civil rights (discrimination based on disablity.) Private educational services can be sold with any limitation they please on an applicants behavior or academic acheivement and not be in violation of any public law or civil right. MR