Spacing Between Children - Seattle,WA

I waited almost three years and I love it! My first daughter is potty trained and is away at preschool for the daytime. I felt it was much easier to wait at least three years, I'm waiting another three years before I have the next one. Hope that you find satisfation in what ever you choose! Take care!

Hi K.,

I am very confused by your Mom's outlook on this. It kinda makes me sad, too because my daughter is 4 & we are expecting in May. Also, my sisters & I are 5 & 10 years apart with a brother who is 9 years younger than me. I have a friend with a 16 year old son & a 3 year old daughter. To think that we "might as well not even should have had them" is silly, to me. I think that you are being a responsible Mother. You are looking out for your son's future & that of your future children by going back to school. There is no set time limit on when you have a second, third, etc... child. If your husband agrees with a 4 year age difference, then go for it. You two are the ones who are raising these children. And it's his & your decision. Just keep in mind that for some people it takes a while of "trying" to get pregnant. It was a year & a half for us. So, I think it really boils down to what is best for your little family. Good luck in school. You are being a great example to your son, even at this age!! And what a great thing you are doing by being an oncology nurse. How rewarding & heart-wrenching! You're awesome!!!

Take care,
S.

I'm sorry to hear your Mom say that as well. I recall an article that says a 3 1/2 year difference in children was optimal for their development. I am almost exactly 3 1/2 years younger than my sister and we grew up well and we are great friends today. I think being too close in age may be harder; going to the same schools at the same time and trying to put them through college at the same time.
But truly, I don't think there is any set age difference that is best. As long as you raise your children in a loving environment and teach them to love and respect eachother, they will all be fine. I think going back to school is an awesome decision. I dropped out of college and now I am an at home mom who would give anything to finish my degree. I would love to be able to give more to my family. I think you should be proud that you are trying to make a better life for your kids. So many people wished they would have finished school or gone back...you can be one of those who doesn't look back with regret later on. Go for it and Good Luck!!

I waited much longer for my second child. I just had my daughter almost 4 months ago, and my son turned 10 last month. I think that you will be fine no matter how long you wait. Enjoy the time you have with your first kiddo now adn when the time is right you will be blessed with another one.

Good luck,
Samm

Hi K.,

I just wanted to say, my husband and I planned to have our children further apart. My son turned 3 in June and we are expecting a baby in October. I think everyone is different and other parents may like it better to have children closer together in age. What I really like about this age difference is that my son is potty trained, so I won't have 2 in diapers at the same time. My son was very much dependent on me even up to age 2 1/2 when he stopped nursing. He is very much his own person now and happens to be very attached to his daddy at this point which frees me up to be more attentive to a baby without him feeling replaced. My son is able to understand he is going to have a baby sister and has been very excited about it. He is planning on attending the birth and has said he wants to "catch" the baby. He is also looking forward to preschool starting this fall, so he will have time to enjoy his friends, while I have some time alone with baby. I think for me, all of those things would be different if he was younger.
Your mom probably is speaking to what she felt was good for her and/or maybe she is anxious to be a grandma again. Follow your instincts and you'll do just fine for your family!

Best wishes with whatever you decide,
M.

K.,

Who's anyone else to tell you what to do with your family? I know perfectly well adjusted children with siblings that are 4,5, even 10 years older than them. Do what's good for you and your family...disregard everyone's "Expert" advice.

Good luck with your decision!

J.

Our thoughts are not His thoughts, and our ways are not His ways.

Whatever the Lord will have happen here will happen. Regardless. Since you have the opportunity now to go to school, I would say go for it. They have online classes that you can take, as well as doing some in college. If you have another baby sooner than later, will that really disappoint you? You have been given a new life to care for and cherish, so if your plans are interrupted for a time, praise God. and if they are not, praise God. He works all things for the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Just remember to be content with whatever you have been given. Whether a big house or small. Another child or not. Or a career or being a mommy and caring for you little ones.

My kids are 12 years apart and adore each other. I am also three years younger than my sister and five years older than my brother. We've always been close.

You need to do what you think is best for you and your family. If you have a strong desire to finish your degree then do it now. If you feel like it's something that can wait, then have your children first. The difference in ages doesn't matter. If you want children further apart in age, it really is up to you and your husband. I don't think there is any optimal age difference, it's all in how the children are raised.

If it's going to be easier financially, then go back and finish your degree. It sounds as if you would be much more at ease with going back to school before you continue growing your family. Do what you and your husband feel is best. The children will be fine.

Best to you.

Hello. All I can offer here is to say that my niece and nephew who I am extremely close to are almost 4 years apart, and they are a normal family, the kids get along and fight the same as any other family, and no one ever stops and ponders on their age difference. No big deal in my opinion.
Good luck.