When Is the Right Time

My name is L., I have three kids. One will be 13 in October. But now they are, 10,11 and 12.Had my first one when I was 16 and would not change her for any child in the world. Heather is a great kid and I would not trade my other two for my youth either. I do not regret having my kids so young. I am now in my second semester of college. If you decide to have another now, you will have a little helper. Conner will love being a big brother if you include him in the baby and not tell him to not touch him/her. My oldest practically potty trained my second daughter. Michelle saw Heather doing it, and wanted to be like her sister.

Hi I am 31 now my kids are 4 years apart an fight like crazy but I feel I was a better mom when I had my second daughter because I was older. I was 22 with my first and 26 with my second. I am a lot more laid back now.

Hi C. I waited until I was 32 to have my first child, she is 7 months old now. I am glad I waited. Much of the struggle that I am so many 20somethings experienced had passed, and emotionally was more ready. I have thought about a second child too but I am thinking more logically and decided to wait, I like to make sure I haven't screwed up the first few years too horribly!! haha. Besides research has shown children who can be given undivided attention so early is optimal. Children who are close in age I think end up lacking because babies need a lot, and our attention is elsewhere when it should be....I hope that helps

I wish I strated on our 2nd earlier. I was 26 when we had or first and didn't try for a 2nd until I was 28. Well we are still trying for baby #2 and I'm now 32. Not like I planned. It's a lot harder as you get older. If you and your husband are ready for baby #2 go for it!! If you can wait until your youngest is about 4-5 years old and then get stated on what you would like to do. Pre-school is a great place for children that age and then you can do somthing for you. Good luck!!

Hi C.,
Sounds like you know what you want....Just remember how your first is and now times that by 2,if you are ready to handle a infant & a toddler then go for it if not wait until your Son's 2nd b-day to start trying. they say 2-3 yrs is best, but I do not think there is a "best time" you just know. As long as you and your husband are on the same page I do not see any reason to hold back.

I have a 15 year old and a 16 year old now. They are 14 months apart. It was difficult but fine. I raised them by myself. My husband at the time left when my youngest was 8 months. It was a crazy time but we are all close adn the girls can be the best of friends or the worst of enemies. it's nice for them to actually be siblings close in age. Some may think it is better to wait a little bit so there is a "Big" brother or sister "feel" to it but everything turned out okay so far for me.

My kids are exactly 23 months apart. To be truthful, I'm not sure there is ever a "best time" so you kind of have to go with your instincts on whether or not you want another. At 30, I went with the theory of "getting it done" closer together so that I could go back to work once both of them were in school. You have a definite advantage of being younger and hopefully having more energy and the ability to "bounce back" quicker after the birth.

I adore my kids and am so happy to have had them when I did, BUT it's very challenging at times. My oldest was about to turn two when her sister came along so we had all of the joys of the "terrible twos" (techincally, I'm starting to think that the closer they get to three the worse it is for the parent...lol) PLUS a new baby to content with. My youngest has just gotten mobile at a time when my oldest seems to need a lot more attention and that's hard sometimes. It's a balancing act and not one that is easy to pull off.

On the positive side, they are already so close and my oldest doesn't remember a time before her baby sister came along so the inital jealousy issues were minor. They adore each other and I really feel like I gave them a wonderful gift by having them so close together.

You should wait at least 3 years in between, so that your body is healthy, and back to normal after having a baby.

Hi! My first two kids are 19 months apart (planned based on when I wanted to quit working outside of the home), then we had our 3rd 19 months later (not planned). Our 4th came almost 24 months after the third--not planned again.

We are just very fertile...if I were to select the "perfect" spacing, I'd say you are just about right now to start trying, because I think 2-3 years is good spacing. With my kids 19 months apart, I couldn't really enjoy their infancy/toddler years enough because I was pregnant again by their first birthdays. But I think that if you go much more than 3 years apart, then they aren't going to play with each other as much. We are fortunate to have girl-girl-boy-boy, so our kids have "built in playmates."

From a physical perspective, the research shows that 18 months to 3 years is the ideal spacing. Your body has time to recover from pregnancy, but not to "forget" how to be pregnant and birth. Your second birth will likely be easier than your first if the spacing is in this time range. If you had a cesarean the first time, the scar is well enough healed that you could be a good candidate for VBAC--you should consult a care provider who is supportive of VBAC to get advice on that.

If I were you I would start right now. I had mine about 4/5 years apart because I thought I could spend time with the little one while the older one is in school. Well they aren't close to each other because of the age difference and because the older one was the only one for long time he didn't like it when the baby came along, he loved being the only child. They fight terribly, The little one wants to do everything the older one does and the older one wants to be left alone. my sister 2 kids close together and so does some of my friends, and it does seem to be better having them close in age. Hope this helps, S.

Hi C.! My children are 18 months apart. In the beginning it was hard but now they are 6 and almost 5, it is GREAT!!!!! I have a friend who has 3 children, each are 4 years apart, in the beginning it was tough as well. It always gets easier as they age. If you are ready, go for it. I have found it a bigger adjustment bringing baby #2 home, but children benefit from siblings. Good Luck

First of all let me say my mother in law had 14 children between the time she was 24 and 44. I am 36 and my kids are 8, almost 7, 21 months, and 10 months! We tried for the first one then our second one was concieved the one day we didn't use birth control. They are 17 months apart and get a long famously most days. Then we tried for years to have another one and it took 2 miscarriages and 5 years to be successful. If I'd had my way he would have come right up behind #2. Our 4th child was an I don't care oops. The last two are only 10 1/2 months apart. Sometimes it's like having twins so it's not always easy, but I wouldn't trade it. So what I'm saying is that sometimes it doesn't matter if you plan or not. Babies come when God wants them to. Good luck with your decision, but I think you already know what you want.

Hi my name is K.. I have two young kids right now, my son is 18 months and my daughter will be four in Dec. She was my son's age when I got pregnant. I think she's at the perfect age NOW for me to have a baby. Having two kids in diapers is really hard for a young mom. Plus, my son was a surprise. I don't regret anything, but if it had been planned I would have waited a few more years. I know as soon as they are both in school I'll ready for one more though!! I think it's very important for your son that you kept building that bond with him until he's about 2-2 1/2 and then try for another one. That way when you're trying to change a poopy diaper and realize you forgot the wipes, you can send you're little helper to go grab them. My daughter is so helpful now that I wish she had been this helpful when her brother was younger. I really could have used it!! I hope this was helpful!!!

My 1st and 2nd sons are 23 months apart. Although I was young when I had them both (19 and then the 2nd was born a week before I turned 21) they just seemed to grow up together. They are now soon to b 13 and 11 and are still very close. My 3rd son is 3 1/2 years younger than my middle. That was actually more of an adjustment. The boys were starting to become more independent and then we had a newborn.
I think that 2-2 1/2 years is a good space between and you seem like you are on the right path to have that if you get pregnant soon!

Good luck to you!

LOL, God definitely had other plans for me. I'm 46, soon to be 47 and my 2 daughters are 24 and 2. You read that correctly, a 22 year difference and neither is adopted. I would like to have another. Blame it on a failed marriage and an infertile schmuck for the 2nd ex (thank you in hindsight, God!). It's entirely up to you. You will know when the time is right

P.S. - My 2nd has some delay issues and I would probably leave a career to be home with her anyway. You just never know. Follow your heart.

hello, i feel that having children close in age is a wonderful thing. they can play together, share toys and go to school together. i unfortunately have my sons four years apart. it took two years for me to get preg. thinking ahead, you would have one out of diapers and one in, which can make things alot easier. i say go for it!
wishing you all the best--jenn

my two sons are two and four. my four year olds birth day is dec.1st and my two year olds birthday is aug. 25th. so that should let you know in it self. im very young but wise. And since your married and not single you will be fine. I am only 21 i've been on my for the past 5 years. so i would know. So good luck to you and your family. may god bless you and your family.

I think that only you can really decide what a good time is to have another child. (well, sometimes and sometimes god has other plans) I have a 2.5 year old daughter and I am getting ready to have my second child, a son. I'm due in about 7 weeks so they will be 2.5 years apart and my daughter is potty trained so I won't have back to back diaper duty. I think that is is a good age range for them to be. My middle brother and I are almost 3.5 years apart and he was always my buddy growing up I always had a friend and still do. This is mine and my husbands last child so it works for us. You and your husband have to decide ultimately what works for you. Hope my little story helps you.

My children are 22 months apart. Although there are times I am exhausted, I love it! They already play together and have a very strong bond. My son was not happy about it at first but has gotten used to his little sister and now is very protective. I feel that for many children the longer they are the only child the harder it is to adjust to a new baby. Although I did not plan to have mine so close in age I am happy it worked out that way.

I also feel that the longer you are out of the work world the harder it is to get back into it. So if you are like me and hav to stay home with your kids but need a career path at some point, sooner is better than later. I had my son at 23 (which now adays is not so common), and now at 26 I have two beautiful children and am just starting to focus on my business more and more.

Hope I helped.

Hi C.. It sounds like you already have figured out what's right for you. You sound like you know exactly what you want. If you start trying to get pregnant now, your kids will most likely be 2 yrs. apart. I am pregnant now with my second child and my little boy, Adam, is 28 months now. My kids will be 3 yrs. apart. I don't know if there's any magic number or age difference between siblings. They will fight a lot and they will play a lot. That's what siblings do. Are you ready financially to have another child? According to research, parents spend close to $10,000 during a baby's first year. What does your husband think about another baby? As long as you're both on the same page I say go for it. There will never be a perfect time.

p.s. If you live close to Akron, we have a great playgroup on Fridays.

Hi C.,
My girls are two years apart(almost exactly). They play together awesome. I think two years is a a great span. They already have a great bond and will probably be best friends when they get older. Also soon I'm going to nursing school and the younger one will start kindergarten at the same time I had them at 27 and 29. Good Luck
C.

C.,
Honestly, I wouldn't plan, I would just let God decide for you. When you are intimate with your husband that is so sacred give your all to each other. When you bring in birth control into a marriage your not giving yourself fully, your stopping what is natural... getting married and having a family. It is up to you, but you asked for my opinion, so I say if your meant to have more babies, you will have them! You are young so you can handle it. Go for it, whether they are a year apart or 10 years apart, you'll love them with all your heart. Good luck.

The right time is when YOU and you hubby are ready. My youngest is 17 months today and have another due 9/29/07... noone can say when you are ready but you guys! :)