Souvenirs from Others

Gift horse, meet mouth!

I hate really cheap stuff too. But how hard is it to donate a few tshirts every year?

I'm with you. The thought is nice, but it seems wasteful. Most of that stuff is made in China and doesn't last long anyways.

I think all you can do is say thank you, and if you can be candid without offending, tell them to save their money now that the kids are getting older. Suggest buying them a savings bond instead.

It brings them joy, to do something for your children. Let THEM experience that.

Yes, I think you're being rather silly. Why waste your time being irritated by acts of LOVE, and kindness? If you don't want the stuff, don't keep it. But, I do think you need an attitude overhaul.

Yeah, sort of unreasonable. Have you considered googling where they are going and say oh my god! they kids would love......

We tend to go to places that most of Troy's family will never see, we are the closest. It was crazy hard to find something unique to the region, country, whatever that they would enjoy. Heck we wanted to bring a telescope back from Venice, not practical....

I guess I feel like you need to understand to them it is sharing the experience. Truth be told I have never bought a tshirt, there is a reason they make a shirt that says so and so went to where ever and all I got was this crappy tshirt!

So look at it as sharing the trip and go from there. :)

... Here in Hawaii where there are MANY diverse cultures, it is customary, that when someone goes on a trip... that they bring back something (a souvenir) for others/their family/kids/co-workers/a person's office.... when they come back.
It is, customary, here. And that is what people do, of all the many cultures that live here.
In fact, if someone does not do this, it is seen as "rude."
It is cultural, based.
It is not the object that the person brings back, but the thought, that counts.

Just put, all those "souvenirs" they get from your Mom/sister, in a container or cute little box. And it can go in the closet or something.

And, it really is up to the other person, as to how they want to spend their money while on a trip. So if they want to buy souvenirs, well they do.

My wife and I travel a lot and we bring stuff back to our kids and grandkids. We do it because we love them, not because we have a desire to show off or give them something they won't like or can't use. We bring them things to say, "We love you and were thinking of you".

If one of my kids told me not to bring them t-shirts, we wouldn't be offended and we wouldn't bring t-shirts. If they told us they don't want us to bring them anything at all, then we wouldn't bring them anything at all, and we still wouldn't be offended.

AND, just FYI, we have gone on 25 to 30 trips and have brought back t-shirts 3 times, maybe. It may have been only twice.

We have brought back hand carved cameos (very expensive), and hand carved other things. My daughter loves fancy dinner parties and we brought native made, hand carved place card holders from Kenya. They were different animals native to Kenya. Our grand kids like small animals. They have farm sets with all the typical farm animals. Now their farm sets have hand carved elephants, hippos, water buffalos, etc from Kenya.

Good luck to you and yours.

We ALWAYS bring each other gifts in our family because, yea we all go places that the other one might never get to go to but they have something from there.For example, I went to Paris, France in May and brought back little Eiffel Towers FROM the Eiffel Tower. My family was ecstatic to get them. My sister went to London many years back and brought back little London phone booth key chains (I still have mine).

I'm always sure to bring back stuff for the kids and they keep the stuff I give them. I get them cool things that tell them about the area (local hand made crafts to geodes and arrow heads -from Colorado- to local jams or preserves- from Maine and Cape Cod). They get really excited and start talking about all the traveling they want to do when they get older.

Have you ever thought about the excitement your kids get thinking about all these different places and cultures?

i hear you.. my aunt use to go on bowling trips with her team every year.. and as you said i have a dumb t-shirt from every place shes ever been.. did i want them?, no would i have ever told her that?, no. i think she wouldve been pretty offended.. a few of them that werent too dumb (didnt have stupid sayings or pictures on them) came in handy as crappy tshirts i could wear when i knew i would get dirty -softball practice, stuff like that -she always bought them oversized.. some of them would probably fit me now.. not that i would wear them but hey if i ever need a tshirt to wear that will get ruined i know where to look

I buy things for others to show I was thinking of them. If you are overwhelmed by the gifts, then talk to them about what they might do instead. Are your kids old enough to enjoy post cards or a collection of keychains? I'd look at it this way - my DD always has a sleep shirt if Nana brings her one from trips. If the kids don't want them, then that's kind of a quandary. Maybe they should say before the next trip, "It's OK, Grandma, just show me pictures" or "I hear they sell good saltwater taffy. If you see some, I'd really rather that then a shirt this time."

DH is not a souvenir person. I am. We have to agree to disagree on what to buy or not buy. I'm a happy person in the gift shop, so we always allot a little time for browsing, but I don't drag him into every store.

yes, you would offend them. yes, you are being ungrateful. imo it's really best to continue thanking and hugging - family is what matters. don't worry about the rest. it's not your business what they spend their money on. they love you and your kids and think of you when they are on vacation. what's so wrong with that? teach your children to love and appreciate their family and what they do for them. that's the bigger issue here. perhaps all the eye-rolling and snide comments from you have colored their opinion on the matter, even their opinion on their aunt and grandma. that would be sad, wouldn't it?

Your feelings are your feelings, so go with what you feel. That said ... I do what your sister and mom do. It's just my way of saying I was thinking of them while we were on vacation. I don't do it for every time we go away ... But when we went to Hawaii ... I brought a small token back for my siblings, nieces and nephews, and parents. It was fun to pick things out that we thought they'd like.

I've bought for my family members for a long time - domestic trips and overseas. Usually it's a small thing and I try to make it something they can use - not junk. I do it because I love them, and I want to share a piece of life outside of their own with them.

My SIL used to buy her kids t-shirts everywhere they visited. When she handed them down to me, my kids slept in them. I didn't have to buy sleep shirts for all their childhood. Maybe you can use the t-shirts they give to your kids for sleeping.

As far as other things go, we've kept "junk" for a while and then given them to Goodwill.

You aren't being unreasonable to "feel" this way, because your feelings are your feelings. But accepting how they feel about giving to you is the right thing to do.

Hope that they will like the postcards! Usually they are nicer pics than they can take themselves of the scenery.

Dawn

Maybe you are being unreasonable. But I'm not sure.

The fact is that some people *give things* as a major way of showing their love. If your mother and your sister are that kind of people, then to say, "Why do you foist such trash on us? Don't spend your money!" is a serious matter. It may not be offensive; it may actually be devastating.

You could ask them to bring your children little things, sizewise - small enough for them to keep in a treasure box or a desk drawer. That way your children might be able to think how kind their grandma and auntie are to remember them, without there being dust to collect.

Will your children care about that enough? Some kids do - you'd be surprised - especially when *you* explain that this is Grandma's way of saying, "I love you," and that they might be glad to have a token or two to remember her by when they're grown up. You will also consider the little presents important enough to require a thank-you by your children - by note, by phone, or in person. Yours is the lead they will follow when it comes to the response to any gift.

We used to buy t-shirts on trips, but our grandchildren just grow too fast for that kind of present. Now I tend to buy better-quality things that are characteristic of the place, and save the items for Christmas, with a note on the present telling where the item came from. I look for things that could serve as ornaments for the Christmas tree. That seems to be interesting to them, especially as they get older.

I LOVE souveniers!! I love getting them and also giving them. I especially love if they are food souveniers. I was so touched that my brother brought my son a Santorini t-shirt from his honeymoon (it was way too big, but so what?!) Unless they are bringing junky souveniers constantly then what is the big deal? Maybe you can suggest what you or the kids would really like or find a way to say that they bring one thing per child? I can't wait for my grandma to get back from Hungary with salami, paprika, and moonshine! I think people waste way more money during holidays than bringing back souveniers...

I might feel the same but it isn't worth th enegry to make it a big deal or to hurt them.

It's probably a matter of love languages. They show love by picking out and buying gifts. they wouldn't do it if THEY weren't getting something out if it, even if it's in their own head.

Could you circumvent this by "suggesting" a certain gift ahead of time? Like you know they are going to main and your kid love blueberry pancakes and you could ask them to bring your kids some blueberry maple syrup. that sort of thing or make the tshirts into a quilt??

like i said yup it would be annoying but not life shattering, i'ts nice to have mamapedia to vent to.

duho mispelled Maine

I think souveniers for others are kinda silly too. "Here, I know you were freezing your little piggies off there in Chicago while I was in Bermuda, but hey, I got you this wonderful t-shirt with neon lettering from a place that you'll probably never go to yourself." Now, that's my cynical/humorous side, but the other side says, "Aww, how nice of you to go out of your way to pick something up for my kids."

I remember when I was a kid my grandma went to Vegas, and she brought my sister and I back some sparkly red dice-shaped earrings. Love my granny, but I STILL haven't been to Vegas :)

Yuck, I hate that junky stuff. We do not want or need souvenirs.

It is expensive junk.

I do estate and garage sales and see this type of thing all of the time. Most of it is still in the original packaging. Or the clothing has not been worn.

I do not want stuff. Instead I want my family and friends to enjoy themselves and not even think of us on their trips.