Soon to Be Single Mother

You are in a tough situation, but you should be proud of yourself or standing up to your jerk of a soon-to-be ex-husband. Hopefully, you will get child support for your daughter and maybe even alimony for you. Usually judges won't be so sympathetic to a cheater. You might also qualify for government benefits without his income, so get in touch with Social Services. That is what they are there for.

As far as the security situation, try to live in a good neighborhood if possible. In OKC there are some areas that are significantly better than others. Get some window alarms and an alarm that is really loud when a door is opened if you don't have a monitored alarm system. I had those when I was living alone, and they really did make me feel better. Also, have you thought about getting dog? They are more work, but it is also nice to have another creature around and it would make things even more secure. If you have room in your life for a dog, Pets and People in Yukon does good work and might be able to match you with the right dog.

If you have family members, make sure you use their help to keep you sane. You need to build in time alone for you. You might be able to join the Y for a reduced price or even free. They offer childcare hours, so maybe you can workout and get a break from your daughter if needed. Churches can also be very helpful, so reach out to one if you aren't already involved.

Good luck and stay strong. Better things are around the bend.

I have been in your shoes. It is very hard but trust me, you can do it. It is so much better for you and your child to be alone than with someone you aren't happy with and treats you badly. You will get used to being alone, in fact, I actually like it. You really get a sense of who you are and how strong you are to be able to do this. Also having support, whether it be moral or financial, from family and friends is important. If you want to talk more or if you need anything at all, please don't hesitate in messaging me. I joined a support group for single moms online as well as one for people going through a divorce and it was sooo helpful. I know that things will work out for you and please meassage me if you need anything.

BIG HUGS
J.

Is there any chance of staying with your husband? I've never been a single mom, I've been with my husband for 5 years now and we have 2 children together. However I have gone through multiple other children's mother and the alleged cheating scenarios. I had to come to the place where I said even if something were to happen I would stay anyways, because I was committed to him and our family. Once I decided that things that once may have bothered me didn't anymore. His youngest daughter's mother use to call all the time after he would go visit and claim they were together after I told her if she didn't mind being used for sex by someone than neither did I and that it was our home he always came back to all the mess and confusion of feelings stopped. I would say if you can or even have the smallest want try and make it work. I think it's incredibly hard to raise a 4 and 2 year old with help (I go nuts a lot of days!) I can't imagine how much harder it would be not having someone to bounce things off of. Think about it.

I'm sending you a message.. im going through the same exact thing and I have a 1 year old son.

I just want you to know that I have been through this myself and I PROMISE it will be alright.. cling to those that love you and tell them what you need. You can do it. You can get any job you want or go to school or both. There are always goverment programs out there if you need more info PLEASE don't hessitate to email me.