I read that the terrible two's don't actually start at two. It's around 18 months (close enough to 16 months). Then, it subsides for a bit and starts right up around 2 1/2 years. It's supposed to be because the child's desire to do things outweighs their capablity to do it. They are easily frustrated and because they can't express themselves, you get tantrums. My son has been in the tantrum thing for a while. He is much better now, but there was a time when he had so many tantrums that I would cry almost every day. Everything caused a tantrum. I know how aweful it is, but I guess every mother does.
I got lots of advice on what to do, good, bad and ridiculous. I have a number of tricks up my sleeve that I'll share with you. First, and most important, stay calm. That's the hardest one. If he feels out of control and his only anchor is you, he really needs you to be calm. I've tried hugging him and telling him I love him (works sometimes). I also took a few paper plates and made faces on them for different emotions. I wrote the emotions on the back (happy, sad, angry, tired, etc.) and went over them with my son. It helped him to put a name to how he is feeling. I've done timeouts and just plain ignoring him. And really, just firmly telling him what I expect him to do ("You can eat your lunch or you can go have a tantrum in your room"). Also, I made a big effort to try to head off the tantrums. If I knew one was coming, I would try to distract him.
People say to be consistant, but with my son, nothing worked all the time. I think the only thing I could be consistant with was staying calm and honestly, there were times when I didn't do so well with that. It's hard with all that screaming. If you are going to lose it, just walk away from him. Give yourself a little timeout. It does get better.