Okay, I watch Nanny 911 all the time, I have tried everthing possible. Our son will not sleep in his own room, in his own bed. He things he has to sleep with mommy all the time. He can't be without me. Does anyone have any suggestions, on how to get him to sleep in alone, so that mommy and daddy can have some personal time at night!!!???!!!
Can you have your personal time in another room? That's what we do, and it works great! Or, can you lay with him until he falls asleep, leave, spend time with your husband, and then if he comes in the room later, it won't really matter because you already had your personal time.
Hello G. (I *love* your name, by the way).
My son is 2 1/2 years old. He still nurses; he still co-sleeps. I don't consider it a problem. If you are seeking time alone, then I think you've been given many reasonable options to address that, and not displace your son who clearly seeks that comfort from you for a reason. If you are coming to resent his presence, and want to push for him to sleep away from you, I really liked the suggestion about slowly moving yourself out of his room, closer to the door, out the door, behind the cracked door. Patience is the key, and the pay-off in the long run is huge. In my opinion, you can't teach him "your house, your rules". It's just brutish. He's two, he doesn't have the cognitive ability for that kind of reasoning. You have a 5 year old; she probably can't equate your desire for private time and sleeping in your bed. I wouldn't try to substitute a sibling for you either. It doesn't quite sit right with me to dump the expectation to provide nighttime care or comfort on a 4 or 5 year old sister. Inconvient or otherwise, you are the parent, not his siblings. It's not relevant how you got started with this behavior, so don't beat yourself up over it, or let someone else do it for you. You're here, look for a solution. If you find you can't make a permanent situation out of his sleeping in his own room right now, perhaps you can get him to accept a small pallet beside or at the foot of your bed, and gradually move him out that way. The bottom line is, he's two, he's clearly bonded to you, and still needs you in this capacity. It won't last forever, even if it is inconvienent for you and your husband. A need that is met goes away; a need that is not met, lasts forever.
May I suggest a book that saved my life: "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Dr. Richard Ferber. I used it on my 10 month old son who had to breast feed in order to sleep, and my 3 year old son who couldn't go to sleep unless my husband or I was laying next to him. This book changed my life. By the time #3 came along, we were pros at getting our kids to bed at bedtime. Good luck -- and read the book! It's so informative and so helpful.
A.
I'm a single mama now, but when my wasband and I wanted personal time, we would either move our daughter, or have our time somewhere else. It's totally normal for our children to want to sleep with us. Humans are biologically hard-wired to need to sleep together. Try to enjoy that awesome little snuggler while you can- someday he will need his own space.
I felt it was more natural to have kids sleep together. I put them all in one bed. When the oldest hit about 6.5 he began sleeping in his own bed. As the kids asked for their own beds we gave them their own bed. But little children like to sleep with their siblings. I would put him in a bed with the 4 year old girl and put them to bed together. Leave a light on so they can read or look at books, check in every 15 min - 30 min. Eventually they go to sleep. Try it.
Turn the lock on his doorknob around - and he won't be able to get out of his room. Worked for us!
Also, be consistent - don't give into his pleas. You're the adults, and it's YOUR house/YOUR rules.
-C.
It is like anything else, a new habit. He can be without you, you have to stop buying into his beliefs and be strong and be the parent. It is hard to break the habit, and I am sure that when he is 16 he will be out of your bed!
Use a reward chart and when he sleeps 5 days in a row, then he gets a treat!!
You will just have to stay strong & offer him a stuffed animal.
Hang in there,
T.
www.tesabarell.myarbonne.com
What happens when you put him in his own bed? Doesn't he eventually fall asleep -even after tantrums?
Does he feel like he doesn't get enough mommy-time during the day and has to get it at night?
I vote with the others. he should have 3 identical pillows (with cases) one for his bed, and one for each of his sister's beds. Let him visit whoever he wants and feel welcome, but not you. Explain it to his sisters and ask (beg) for their permission so they don't get so mad a him. He will naturally be drawn to the one that wants him the least. But it does bring them closer and rely on each other more as they grow up.
good luck, my 3 are teenagers now and still depend on each.
I dont know what your religious veiws are but i had the same problem when my son was younger! he wanted to sleep with us also. i would lay in bed with him for a while until he fell asleep! that got old too. i would ask him what he was afraid of it was the usual like monstors and such! I then began to tell him that he was never alone as long as you say your prayers then god and angels would be with him! he still asks why me and dad get to sleep together and he has nobody! i tell him that he has all his animals. we also have a usual bedtime story and some light church music playing in his room.
I hope this helps!
I just had this problem with my daughter! She is 3 though, so I don't know if being older helps. First I explained that she has to sleep in her own bed, and if she did, she would get stickers (you find something your son really loves) in the morning. I just kept putting her back in her bed every time she came into our room-which ended up being like five times! I also would have to lay down on the floor until she fell asleep. Since she didn't sleep in her bed on her own, she didn't get her stickers-and I made a point of letting her know that. The next night she slept in her bed all night, so we made a big deal about it, and she got her stickers. She has been in her bed ever since! Good Luck!!!
Wow, you were having kids when I was your age i was [at 17-18 yrs old] finishing high school and off to college?
How did he get the habit of sleeping in your bed in the first place? Did you allow him to sleep in your bed? you need to make his bedroom special and bedtime a routine, be consistent that that it is your room and he has his own room, redecorate and have him help to make it "his big boy room".
The method I did with my son at 4 years old was this: I sat next to his bed for the first night until he fell asleep, the next night I moved toward the door a little more, even just enough so I was sitting next to the spot I sat in the night before. I did this until I was out the door, then I slowly closed his door leaving it craked, each night I would still sit outside the door. Finally when the door would be cracked he would just go to sleep without me sitting there. It probably took a good month but now we have no problems, I've tried other ways they did not work, not crying, Ferber, or anything else. Then when my daughter was born I was sure to put her in her crib from day 1 and have not had any problems, unless their not feeling well. Hope it helps.
Once he is asleep, can he be moved to another bed at least until you and your husband have had the time you need? Or can you and your husband find another area to share alone time? I would look for creative ways without necessarily "removing" son from your bed ALL the time, because it sounds like this is something he is still needing. He really WILL give it up at some point, and really sooner if he doesnt sense he is not wanted there. WE all tend to hang unto what we think we are losing.....
