Son Upset About Moving

Better now than in the middle of high school (yes, I'm still bitter, haha)! This reminds me of when my sister/family moved 2 blocks away and their youngest was LIVID at 4yo. He refused to leave the lellow (yellow) house and threw the keys in the creek. So, I asked my sister and she doesn't remember doing anything other than what you're doing, so it may just take some time! Good luck!!!!

What is your reason for wanting to move? Why are you the the only one who wants to? Are you really being selfish or is it necessary?

I'm sure your son will adjust. Take your kids with you to the new house before you move in so they can start to get used to it & excited about it. I moved a few times when I was little, the last time was when I was 6. It was hard, but after making new friends and being at the new school for awhile, it was fine.

I say just make sure you are making the right decision for your family, for the right reasons. You are the parents, and your kids can't make the decisions of where you live. I don't think it will hurt him long term if you do move.

I moved about every three years growing up - and we always fussed about it. It is probably a little scary for him, but I think he will recover and like his new school, house and friends very quickly. He will be getting all the attention because he's "the new kid in the class". Just don't feel selfish and guilty - you worked hard for this house you want - and deserve - so enjoy it!

You are doing this at an ok age. The kids are so accepting of a new friend this young. It is so much harder when they are older and there are cliques. I think he will be ok after a little while. Don't worry :-)

When we moved we showed pictures to our daughter, took her to see the new school and gave her lots of information so she could visualize the new place. He doesn't want to go but mostly he can't imagine what life will be like and that is what is freaking him out.(he may also sense your guilt)
Can he go play on the new school's playground a bunch? Visit it during gym? Maybe check out a book from his favorite series before starting? Meet his new teacher? If you don't make 15min a big deal then he will stop making it a big deal.

Hi Jamie, Sure he is upset. Did you expect him not to be? Moving is hard on kids espically durring the school year. We moved twice in the course of two years...the first was the worst as we moved into this area from out of state in the middle of Feb. It was hard on both our older girls...the schools were different, they had no friends, and the house we rented was a bit isolated on a hillside. But they bouced back quickly as we worked hard to get them into after school activities like Scouts, music programs and spring t-ball & softball. Our second move was easier since they had friends in the area of our new home and were established in their activites that could continue. Plus we moved in the summer right after school let out, which also helped. We have been in our home now for over 6 yrs and now the older two are in high school...our youngest doesn't even remember our first move! With patience and keeping to your normal routines no matter where you are your kids will settle in to your new house. The biggest challenge is to keep things as normal as you can throughout the move. Try to keep your stress level down so that they don't key in on it and stress out themselves! Remember when Mom is unhappy or stressed so is the family! Good luck and best wishes! Congrats on the new house!

What about planning a day that he can come back and visit his old neihborhood and friends or to his old school. This might help him feel better about moving on and not bad about leaving things/people behind. Just a thought.

My son had a friend who moved about 2 minutes away. I know she didn't really like the idea of moving either (she's about 5) but her mom made it all about her new room and having more room to play, etc.,,
Seems like the decision to move has already been made (regardless of who really wanted to move and who didn't) so I guess you just have to press on with the idea. After all, even though it's not easy to change schools in first grad, it won't be any easier next year, or the year after that, right? Good luck on the move!

Our family moves have always been Army related so I can't help with feeling selfish but here is what we did for our 7 year old. Penpals are great for kids and webkinz makes it really easy. We bought matching webkinz for our son and his best friends and they set up accounts online that they can play games against each other and send gifts via the site to each other (no cost if they have net access other then the doll which we covered). They send each other postcards and letters in the regular mail and over the summer we made a trip to see all of them. Some of the friends don't contact as much as they used to and he doesn't mail all of them as much anymore but some have stuck it out and continue to be in contact. It made it easier for my son to make new friends knowing he wasn't letting go of the old ones completely. Good luck and remember that you are the mom so if the choice was made by the adults for the best interest of the family you have nothing to feel bad about.

J.,

We have something in DE called choice. Which means we fill out a form requesting a different school then the school that is in our feeder. You may want to see if PA has something like that and can you request that you child stays in the same school to finish out the year.

M.

I'm not sure there is a whole lot you can do. I'm sure part of his apprehension is not being with his friends and having to make new friends. Perhaps you can help with this a little.

Try taking a day to visit his new school. Call the new school to find out who's class he will be placed in. Then speak with the teacher and find out if maybe you can bring him by to meet her and possibly the other students before hand. Or see if you can ask her to send out a handout to the parents of the class. Maybe a short letter from one parent to the other parents. Explain that you are new to the school and would like the chance for your son to get to meet them. And ask them to call to set up a playdate if they would be interested.

Another idea would be having a party for your son... A welcome to my new house party. You could go to his new teacher and ask if they would send home an invitation to all of the students in his class. Have cake and ice cream and games. Perhaps this way he can meet them and since he is having a fun event, the other students will want to hang out with him. Afterall, his mom will be the fun mom. ;)

Other than that, check at the local library and (if there are any) local bookstores to see if they have story times or craft times. If they do, show up to them. Also, check with the new neighbors. They may know kids his age who live nearby. Then you could walk to their houses and introduce yourselves (you to the parents and your son to the kids).

Other than those things, I think it is more of a wait and see kind of thing. Although experts say that change is easier for kids than it is for adults, that doesn't mean that it is actually easier. It, also, isn't true in every case. So just be there for him with lots of hugs and kisses and a little understanding if he would rather pout alone.

Good luck with your move. I hope that this helps out.

J.,
I really don't have a whole lot of advice as we moved in our new home when I was 5mo pregnant. The only thing I willask is why are you moving then if you are the only one who wants to? Is it a financial decision? If not, then why not stay where you are until he is older and then revisit the idea. If you are moving for reasons that will benefit the family such as money, safer environment, school etc.... then go for it and everyone will adjust but if things are going well then why move? Moving is soooooo much work and I am one that absolutely hates to move.
Good luck
Christina