How to Ask for a Different Elem. Teacher

My town will not give a certain teacher just because a parent requests it and I have to say I agree with it. It's not fair and if you accommodate one request you are going to have to do the same for everyone else. Is this his first year of school? When kids at this school are assigned teachers it's because the teacher of the previous year felt that teacher was a good fit for the student it's not done randomly here.

I went through a similar situation last year. I didn't care for the teacher ... her personality or her style of teaching, but I stuck it out and gave her the benefit of the doubt. Worst decision I ever made!! My son was miserable and complained daily. I volunteered a lot, and was at the school at least 3 days out of the week. So I got to see things firsthand, and I didn't like what I saw. I ended up speaking to his teacher and the principal. Basically, neither one of them did anything to help the situation and it ended up being the worst school year ever! So if you feel it's not a good fit, fix it now before it's too late. Good luck and let me know how it goes. :)

I actually switched my son to a different school in the district. I believe to this day it was the right decision. Just ask.

You never know...I was very reserved with parents but a total silly nut with my students! Give it a few weeks and ask your kid how it is going.

Um, you do not know this teacher yet. She was trying to set up her room, she may be shy around parents but not around kids.. Teachers come in all forms and personalities and she needs to get to know your son. Give her and your son a chance.

You are nervous about school and for your child.. But do not assume anything.

I am sorry, but you are going to sound a little unstable going and asking for another teacher based on this first impression.. You are going to be tagged.. "one of those parents".. The kind that react before knowing exactly what is going on.

And all of you parents need to give her a chance.. Ganging up like this is not going to help anyone..

Our daughter had a teacher that most parents did not care for. She was and still is a standoffish person. She also is not very attractive and has a very strange sense of humor (I guess that is what you call it). The parents really, really did not care for her..

Once our child moved onto the next school I asked her "who was your favorite teacher at 'elementary school".. she said "well, Mrs. M was my favorite, but I learned the most from Mrs. F.."
This is the teacher I spoke of..

Her students were totally prepared academically, she was very familiar with kids that struggled.. She could teach with all sorts of different techniques.. She is now a Master Teacher.

You can certainly address this with the principal, but I highly doubt it will be switched. You have NOTHING to base this request on! Your child has barely walked into the classroom and you have already decided you don't like her. You haven't seen her do anything yet, nor have you given your child the chance to form his own opinion of his teacher.

Not all teachers are "warm and fuzzy", but that doesn't mean they aren't excellent at what they do. It doesn't mean she won't engage your child in interesting learning activities and it doesn't mean she's going to ignore your child.

When I worked as an assistant principal there were a few teachers who had "not nice" reputations and some who were known as "sweet". Here's the interesting thing... the kids that were actually in the "mean" teachers' classrooms LOVED them! They learned, had fun and took ownership over their success. Many of those "sweet" teachers are just that... sweet, but won't push your kid when needed.

By all means talk with the principal, but what are you going to say? I met this person for 5 minutes and I don't like her? Think about how that will be received... not well. You are making a ton of assumptions about someone who is new to you and new to your community. Yikes.

I think it is a bit early to judge the new teacher. ALL teachers who are new to a school go through the judgement of parents because the parents are out of their comfort zone when a new teacher comes into the elementary family.

She may be the best fit for your child and you are already rushing to get him out of her class. I hope you have kept this quiet towards your child because if you have not, then he will surely have a difficult year. Children need support, need to learn to adapt and need to accept teachers new and old and learn to make things successful.

I feel for new teachers because I see them treated this way by parents. From day 1 there are whispers (by ADULTS) because so and so got the new teacher.

Why don't you allow your child to get to know this teacher.... she may very well end up being his favorite. Then you would regret stepping in. Evaluate things in a few weeks. Give the poor teacher a chance. Geez.

Parents are funny...because we "know" our children we are always looking to do what's best when in reality, sometimes we are crippling them. I think you should give her a chance. A parent has to know, you are sending the wrong message to the child by trying to change the situation rather than have them deal with it (the situation). You were the one with the "gut" feeling to switch the little one out...before the child even had a chance to meet the teacher. Their personalities might click instantly. Your child will have many teachers were you might not get a good feel, but as long as they are learning, there shouldn't be an issue. And you don't want to be labeled as one of those parents because they'll discard your concerns easily. If there are concerns, drop in and see how your child behaves? Watch child signals…do they seem upset every day?

Maybe the teacher was looking to see which one of her parents are the "I want to meet and know all about you". What prevented you from connecting with her?

I don't know...I just think you ought to give her a chance...and speak positively about the teacher so that the child can see that mommy likes her, so I'm ok.

Please give it some time. Not all teachers are "warm and fuzzy." Your son has MANY years of school ahead of him and there will be teachers that neither of you like.
Some of the best teachers at my kids' elementary school were the ones who initially came across as rough, and some of the worst were the ones who seemed the sweetest.
When my son went into third grade he got the old, "mean" teacher and we were both disappointed. She turned out to be one of the best teachers any of my kids ever had. I even shadowed her for a week when I started substituting, she was a wonderful mentor! And the young, popular, outgoing teacher that all the kids and parents loved? Her classroom was a joke. You just can't judge a teacher based on her style and personality, there is SO much more to it than that.

Personally I would wait. You don't have anything concrete to back up your request. This happened to us 2 years ago. My son was in a class with his 3 best friends, loved the teacher. Then 2 weeks in there were too many kids in the class and they hired a new teacher, ex military. Not the warm and fuzzy that the first teacher was. My son and 20 other kids were moved. When we had the special meet and greet she wasn't all gushy, parents were mad, not me, that THEIR kid was moving.

For me she was a good thing. She was straight and narrow, took no excuses. To me she was just what my son needed. Other parents complained all year, wouldn't go volunteer, etc. I was the only one that came into the class regularly and that was like once a month. The other 3 teachers had volunteers pouring out their doors. Her feelings were very hurt.

So again, I suggest that you wait at least 2 weeks for things to iron out. Then if you still feel there needs to be a change, talk to the teacher first, then the principal.

M.

Not playing devils advocate here, but maybe she was having a bad day, had a migraine, super nervous, is really shy around adults and may open up around the kids??? I understand your concerns totally. In our schools, we have to give all teachers our kids are placed with a month, then address issues with the teacher, then the principal. That is the protocol. (of course unless there is something major happening) Not sure if your school has a policy about changing teachers, but I would look into it before going into the principal. My daughter had a teacher last year for 2nd grade who should have been teaching high school. No warm fuzzy, very strict, etc... We endured because my other option was a teacher with a class full of discipline problems. I picked my battles on that one. Good luck and hope it all works out.

Why would you "obviously" need to address this with the principal? I agree with the many posters on here who suggested you give her a chance- the benefit of the doubt. She could be an amazing asset to your son's overall education, or not, but the reality is you just don't have enough information yet to predict this.

And unless, in the next few months, your child becomes so impaired by his teacher's approach/personality/style that he is literally getting sick with the thought of going to school, then I wouldn't attempt a switch then either. The reality is kids will have teachers, classmates they have to do group work with, and eventually co-workers and bosses that they don't exactly jive with, but that they nonetheless will need to adapt to. That is life. As long as he is learning and he has a loving and supportive family at home and possibly other supportive adults in his life (coaches, music teachers, etc.), he will be fine and perhaps learn some valuable life lessons this year.

Also, I hate to say it, but when I read the line, "other moms felt this too!" I cringed a little bit, because it clearly implies that "the moms" were all talking about this new teacher in a negative fashion, otherwise how would you know how anyone else felt about it? It sounds dismissive, presumptive, and gossipy to me, and I feel that is not only unfair to your respective children by introducing negative energy into the classroom learning environment before the school year has even begun, but it is also terribly unfair to this teacher.

On a side note, I grew up in St. Charles, right next to Geneva, and also lived there a short time as an adult with my own child. I still have family there. I know this area inside and out, and I'm afraid that my experience has been that far too many of the parents in this community feel entitled and deserving of "special" treatment for their children where it is not necessarily warranted. A lot of my friends that have moved away from this community, as adults, will readily acknowledge this aspect of the Stc/Geneva. I have also had adult friends that I knew growing up that stayed back and taught in the public schools there. They acknowledged the same about many of the parents. I'm not saying you are this way; what I am saying is that their is a lot of communal pressure to be this way. So, instead of joining the "other moms" in disparaging this teacher before you've even gotten to know her, do your kid a favor, and be the voice of dissent saying, "Hey, why don't we give her a chance? She could be great..."

My daughter just had a teacher last year that was exactly how you describe your child's teacher. And she happens to be my daughters MOST FAVORITE teacher of all time...and we have had amazing teachers. I just hosted a "class reunion" at my house last week for this class and called the teacher to come and suprise the class. It was a fantastic day. This woman was an amazing force for good in all these kids' lives. She had a calming effect because of her "shyness", she did so many more educational trips and activities that other teachers did not do. She did the most creative and fun incentive for good behavior/good effort that I have ever seen done. The kids looked up to her and worked hard for her. She had a way of helping the kids feel like a little family. All the kids were in tears on the last day of school and didn't want to leave the classroom...they new that they had created something special there. And this was only 3rd grade.

I really would take a step back and let your child stay in the class. Too many times parents step in and try to maneuver their kids through grades to avoid difficult situations....instead of being there to teach the skills to their kids of how to maneuver themselves through the difficult situations. I have seen so many of my friends and the kids get into the habit of "If I don't like it then I do whatever I can to avoid it." Instead of how to deal with the tough times when they come.

That is just my two cents as an observer and as a mom that has given the first impression a bad pre-judgement. Some teachers are quite shy or reserved around the parents...but powerhouses in the classroom!! Too many parents jump on teachers today with every little problem, issue, gripe etc. I don't blame them for kinda holding back at first.

Good luck...and best wishes for a great school year. If you can volunteer in the classroom on a regular basis that will help you see how she is "in action".

So, you met her once and make a decision based on that? I think that is really unfair of everyone. What if she had something bad happen that day? What if she is the best teacher your son could ever have? I think you should give it a few weeks at least, maybe even a few months. You can't tell anything about a teacher in a few minutes of a crowd meeting someone for the first time. Give her a chance then make a decision.

This is a HUGE time of change in the education world. There are MAJOR changes coming from the federal level that greatly effect each teacher.

On top of that, there are budget cuts, teacher loss, job changes... and this is only in a person's professional life. There is no telling what happened to that woman that morning in her personal life.

No principal will change your child based on your women's intuition.

This is the chance for your child to learn to cope with people they don't like, that approach things differently than you do at home. This is a learning opportunity. If you start asking for changes now, what will you do when your child gets to middle school and high school and has multiple teachers in one day?

Help your child IF HE exhibits ____@____.com him learn to cope and adjust and accept that we don't like everyone, we don't agree with everyone, and things aren't always perfect. Your child will be a well-rounded, adaptable child if you do that.

I was getting picked on in gym class in jr high and went to the counselor, the principal, the assisstant principal, and the schools liason officer! I begged to be moved. I was told NO, find a way to work it out, by each and every adult that I talked to. I thought they were cruel and didn't care about my safety. Turns out, they were confidant in my ability to deal with it and were looking out for my character. I hate character building excercises! But, due to that experience, I have always opted not to intervene in difficult situations, with difficult teachers. I let my girl talk to me, bounce ideas off me, ask me for advice, and backed her up when she made decisions. But, I never swooped in and rescued her. I never asked to change a teacher. Difficult teachers were some of the ones she learned the most from o ended up being the closest to by the end of the year. Most importantly, she learned she couldn't use the whole "my teacher doesn't like me" thing to manipulate mommy.

At our local school, you have to submit a letter in writing (and then meet with the principal) and have very valid reasons for your request. (Like, you had another child who had the teacher and there were conflicts...)

If you went to our school and told the principal you didn't like a teacher upon first meeting her (and that you were gossiping with other moms who felt the same way) you wouldn't be taken seriously.

If every one of you who had this feeling requested to have your children moved, how would the school accommodate all of you?

My daughters both had teachers I didn't personally like, and they both survived and learned from the experience.

The sooner the better. I'd ask the office to schedule a time when you can sit down and speak with the principle about it. Tell them exactly what you just told us, I don't think that sounds rude or picky at all.

My 7 year old had a teacher last year that was VERY good for HER, but she would be awful for my 6 year old. If my 6 year old gets her this year, I will be asking for a different teacher.

All kids are different; you're not going to be the first person to request this, and you won't be the last. You're your child's advocate, go for it :)

Gotta say I'm surprised how many people said no principal will make the change based on your say so and that it's not fair to the other kids. All kids have different learning styles, a teacher that is fab for one is awful for another. Your description could have been my daughter's teacher in first grade last year. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and we started the year with her. By the end of the week my normally happy, outgoing, school loving child was moping home and crying in the morning because she didn't want to go to school. I made her wait one more week and when things didn't get better I called the principal to talk about it. He asked "do you want to talk or do you want her moved?" It was that simple, and she was moved the following Monday into a new class and had a great 1st grade year.

I would give it a week or so. If your gut is still telling you it's not a good fit call the principal. Do NOT call with a request to move to a specific teacher's class, you will most likely be turned down immediately. At our school dd was moved to the class with the least students, they probably have a similar process at your son's school.

Do not mention that you are not liking the teacher. If you already have another teacher in mind, request that one specifically. Say, you feel this teacher is a better fit for your child and his needs at this time. Talk about what's best for your son, instead of your thoughts of your thoughts on the "new" teacher.

good luck.

I've had to do it - just go to the principal and say - I'm not comfortable with this teacher my child needs to be moved...

if they give you push back - go to the school board.

Children need an enthusiastic teacher - one that cares...maybe it was an off day for her but overall - go with your gut.

We did that once. went to the Principal and they had us write a letter to switch our child. do it right away cause other students will be switched too to accommodate.

It is totally worth a try. Go today. Don't wait. Be calm and explain exactly why your child NEEDS someone else. Most principals won't change. Hopefully the principal will be discreet and keep it quiet.

.

Wow! I am seriously surprised at how many people thought you were out of line. Really, this is your child you are talking about and you know him better than anyone. Just because you do not think she is a good fit for your child specifically does not mean that she is a bad teacher. You have EVERY RIGHT to find the best educator for your child.

I am assuming that you met her at the first day of class or at an open house. So, it is part of her job to make these students excited about learning and to feed that spark for knowledge on this day especially. If you feel that she is not able to do that for your child than pursue other options. She will be fine and have lots of other students to work with, but your son may lose his natural love of learning and that is the true shame.

I would suggest that you schedule a meeting with the teacher and the principle and tell them what you told us. You know your son and what he needs, they do not yet. So take this time to work out a plan together. Teach your son to strive for the best and not to just settle because it is easier.

My kindergartner hated going to school and I met with his teacher numerous time throughout the year and together we worked out a plan that truly benefited him. She was very willing to help because I never attacked her or her teaching style. I just carefully explained my concerns and what I had seen and asked her for help in formulating a successful plan of action.

Never be afraid to advocate for your child. Teachers are busy and cannot always give the child everything they need, so it is your job to shoulder your share of the load.

Good Luck and I think intuition is a wonderful thing = )