Son Shows Different Behavior for Mom than Dad

They are always worse for Mom. That's just a fact of life. You're the one he feels comfortable acting out with-- he's on his "company manners" for every one else. Though it doesn't seem like it, it just means that you're a great mom! He trusts you to handle his bad behavior in a way he doesn't trust the others. Just be consistent with him, and keep on doing what you're doing! Good job Mama!!!!!

You're the main care giver, so he feel assured enough to be "himself" around you. Just continue being diligent with your discipline. My husband is gone all the time, and of course the kids were flawless whenever he got home even while learning these behaviors, but they were NOT allowed to do any of these things with me, so they didn't even though it took work at first. But only a little, because we started before 2 and acted firmly. Good work catching this now.

Implement a firm consequence when he starts to run or kicks you or throws himself on the floor, or throws a fit at nap time etc after one calm warning. He's testing you to see if he can get away with it. Don't let him cause you to give lots of warnings. He's the perfect young age to learn quickly.

Don't worry about being the bad guy, my kids are extremely affectionate and loving and secure in the rules and love being good. Your son wants to make you proud and will NOT hold being disciplined against you, and you'll have way more time for fun when these things are nipped. If you act effectively now, you won't have terrible twos. Good work, good luck!

I have to agree with the others that this is pretty typcial behavior from my experiences with my 2 kids. The best advice I can give is to be patient and consistent. Don't take it personally and don't allow yourself to feel like a bad parent. You are not alone. My kids give me more problems than they give others, but I am also the one they run to when they are hurt or need comfort. Don't fall into the trap of giving repeated warnings and then take action. Give one warning then deliver the consequence/redirection if directions aren't followed. Also, maybe watch your husband in action to see how he handles certain scenarios. Even though you have the same rules, maybe he is a "drill sargent" or does things in a playful manner or uses a certain tone of voice that your son responds to. Now that my kids are older and understand more, I tell them that if they do/don't do "X" for Daddy they should/shouldn't do it with me. I don't know if that will work with your young son, but something to keep in mind for later. Best wishes to you!

Yep--that happens here too. My son is older now, but it was very similar: I worked PT, my mom watched him 2 days, etc.
I think kids always act out more with those that are with them most. Not that it's acceptable...you may have to crack down more on him. Warning, then consequence. Every time. All the time.
OR (as MY mother likes to tell me--I have 2 older brothers) Little boys love to torture their mothers! :-)

In my experience, this is typical.

Kids will test limits and boundaries the most with the person they feel the MOST secure with. It stands to reason, actually. They wouldn't do that with someone whose response they couldn't predict somewhat, or with someone who they don't have deep trust in to be there, no matter how they behave.

So the next time he's giving you a hard time, and you have to administer consequences, thus making you the "bad parent", maybe you can take at least a little comfort in knowing that he must feel really secure in your relationship, and that's a good thing.

Hi, R.:

Are you giving the child choices before you do this with him?

Ask him: Do you want to get dressed now or do you want me to go to the store by myself? (Choose your choices)

Ask him: Do you want me to change your diaper now or do you want to wait until you start itching from the urine?
(Choose your choices)

Ask him: Do you want to take your nap now or go to bed at night early? (choose your choices)

Good luck. D.

Hi R.!
I understand what you're saying. My daughter, now 18 months, acts like that with me but no oneelse. She has for the past couple of months. My husband and I do things the same but yet she acts out for me (kicking at diaper changes, running from me, smacking when mad, etc.) My husband would say the same as yours, "she doesn't do that with me". Argh....
I was getting frustrated and thought I was doing something wrong. I talked to my mom about it and she was very reassuring.
I'm not sure the psychology behind this but my mother (a nurse, mama to 4 girls, 3 step children, 9 grandchildren) assures me this is perfectly normal behavior to display with the primary care giver.
What has worked for me is to be firm and calm when my daughter does these things. If she hits (which is really rare now) I would gently hold her hand and give her a calm, firm "no", "hitting hurts" or "stop". Took a few times doing it but be persistent. At diaper changes I give a toy I know she likes and that sometimes works, other times I have to give a firm yet gentle "no".
What ever you do, be consistent and stay calm.
Don't know how helpful I was, maybe someone can elaborate on this for you.

Good luck to you and best wishes!

*I wanted to add this. My daughter acts like this mainly when she is tired. When I see she is getting worn out I go ahead and put her down for a nap or to bed. It has helped us a lot.

Sounds pretty typical - check out Love and Logic parenting - it's choice/consequences based, and helps them feel like they're getting control over things. It kinda takes the heat off of you to some degree, cause when they chose the behaviour that gets the time out or whatever, they learn it was THEIR choice to have that consequence. Hope this was a little helpful :)

Your son is right around the age that they're beginning to understand they can exert their independence.....and, they will do it. It's like a lightbulb goes off - at least that is how it was with both of our kids.

I'm going to guess that, although you and your husband take the same approach, there are subtle differences, and your son senses those. You may be more patient, your husband may not give as many chances to do something.

It may also be the difference in Mom being around him more often and interacting differently than Dad does. He's getting old enough to understand that he should behave certain ways all the time. I'd suggest making sure that when you're with him together, you are completely consistent. I'd also take note of how he interacts differently when you're together vs. when you're with him separately to see if there are triggers that are setting him off.

Wish I had better advice. Those are just some suggestions based upon two kids going through similar situations.