My 12 year old is being accused of punching another boy, he says they were playing soccer and as they were running after the ball my son elbowed the other boy. He apologized, but now other kids are accusing him of punching the boy. He feels bad because he is a timid kid and is not in the least bit the type of boy to start trouble. He has never been in trouble at school, but the other kids are making an issue out of it. The other boy is fine and my son apologized already. I don't know what to tell him so he doesn't feel bad or what he can tell the other kids so they will stop accusing him.
Thank you all for the great advice and suggestions. I did talk to my son and explained to him that he need not worry about what the other kids were saying to him. Since he already apologize to the other boy and the school staff was aware, that he didn't need to explain to anyone else anything. He went to school the next day and just a couple kids asked him what had happened he told them it was no one's business and he was not going to talk about it anymore. He said they left him alone after that no one else has said anything to him anymore. This age is so hard.
Thank you all for the great support.
Ignore the other boys. As long as the boy that he accidentally elbowed has acknowledged that it was an accident and accepted the apology, isn't that all that matters?
It sounds to me that he is a bit too timid and needs to stop being timid. He's letting them walk all over him. If they are continuing to badger him, that what this is about is that they are using it as an excuse to bully him. And he needs to tell them to knock it off. Standing up for himself will help.
Talk to the coach again and tell him what the kids are continuing to do. He needs to tell them to "can it" and grow up.
Dawn
So how are the Coaches handling this?
Was this in school or at an after school sports activity???
If in school, the Teacher(s) SHOULD BE, handling this.
AND also, addressing all the drama/name calling or whatever, that is happening because of it.
This happened at my kids' school once. Something like this. And it turned into a BIG hassle of kids, name calling and wrongly accusing the other kid, and it was really bad drama. SO... the TEACHER AND THE PRINCIPAL stepped in.... and STOPPED it. They SPOKE TO THE ENTIRE GRADE LEVEL, and corrected the students, taught them about how wrong... name calling is and how wrong it is to wrongly blame others and ruin their well being etc. AND the parents, were talked to as well... per the kids that were instigating it.
Tell him not to worry about what the other kids are saying. He knows what happened; the other kid I'm sure knows what happened. He apologized; there is nothing more he can do. As long as the staff knows what happened and he's not be suspended, then no harm done.
If he's that timid, he might consider liking that the other kids think he punched someone; makes him not a target for bullies!
Kids can be so mean sometimes. Maybe try explaining to him that we can't make everyone happy so we do what we can to make things right and if that isn't good enough for them then that is there problem not his. I know that the more of a rise they get out of him the more they are going to make a big deal. Just tell him to hang in there and eventually it will get old and they will find something else to complain about. The best thing he can do is still do his best and play. Don't let them get to him and just tell him how proud of him you are for saying he was sorry.
I'd talk to the coach about it and ask if he can address the boys jumping on the bad wagon and get them to jump off OR ELSE.
he needs a clever response to get them to leave it alone
denying it and getting upset only fuels the fire
is the boy he hit upset? can he ask that boy to say no he didnt?
Ask him what he wants to do or say about it. Then let them work it out themselves.
Read the book "How to talk so kids will Listen, and How to listen so kids will Talk" for ideas how to encourage kids to come up with their own solutions.
