Should the Teacher Be Contacted or the Other Parent???

I think the teacher needs to be aware of this issue because they may be watching these children for patterns of behavior. We have my grandson's teacher logging different behaviors in the classroom to help us deal with his behavior issues. I think the teacher might also want to know this little one is openly stealing because there may be times someone accuses her and the teacher would think she is innocent. With this background she may realize there is a problem and watch her more closely.

I don't see why the teacher has to be involved if it didn't happened at school. The parents concerned should deal with it directly. Now if the swiper has done things like this at school, then the teacher should know about that.

Gotta agree with Dad on Purpose here....you & your daughter are "out" of it at this point. The owner should either tell the girl to give it back, or tell the teacher that the swiper took it. Your daughter may be asked what she saw. Otherwise....done deal on your end.

This is a giant mess just waiting to happen.

At best, you are a 4th party, with your daughter being a 3rd party. Let the actual victim handle it how she wants to. Feel free to mention in passing (not a sole purpose call) to the victim's mom.

Otherwise - not your concern.

Why didn't your daughter just say hey, I didn't give that to you when she was taking it and none of this would be an issue?

Sorry but I don't understand this mentality that kids can't work things out for themselves so the parents fight their battles.

your daughter should let the teacher know and then be done with it.
the more that parents get involved with this sort of thing, the more the drama quotient rises.
really, kids can so often work things out themselves if we just let them. if your daughter isn't comfortable confronting the swiper herself, she (not you) should simply alert the nearest responsible adult and then let them roll with it.
khairete
S.

It's a Wuggle Pet, let it go. I don't see the need to get involved.

When something happens in school, it is always correct to contact the teacher. The teacher should always know of any incidents that happen in her classroom. Also, since it was not your child's item that was stolen, it is not your place to get involved. Why would you? It was not something of your daughter's that was stolen. Once your daughter gave the item to the other girl, ownership passed to her and it's her mother's decision about how to handle it, not yours. You have no place being involved in contacting another parent when some other child's toy is stolen. I work in first grade, and an important thing we try to teach them (often!) is what is and what is not your business.

I would certainly mention it to the swipers mother. It's all about presentation so it doesn't seem like you're calling her kid a thief and making her feel like she has to be on defense. Perhapse share a story of how you or your brother or cousin or someone did it too when you were that age and blah blah blah...... Just so she sees it's a normal kid thing but HAS to be taken seriously and there must be consequences for it. Ya know, learning opportunity. But I have to say, if this happened and my daughter was the swiper or the victim, I'd want to know about it from whoever saw. If nothing else so I had the chance to parent. Good luck! Hope it all works out. :)

Your daughter tells you she is upset by something she witnessed at school. I think she should talk to her teacher. Can she do this by herself? With some coaching by you? That's the place I would start. Your daughter will hopefully follow through at school. If your daughter is very distraught and can't seem to get over it or approach the teacher herself, you should accompany her to school and facilitate or help her talk to the teacher. The teacher takes it from there. A LOT of little kids have sticky fingers. I would trust the teacher's experience in dealing with this at school. If your daughter seems to forget about it quickly or does not continue to be bothered by it, I would do nothing. Except tell her the sad reality is that there ARE going to be theives in any group of people, so it is a good lesson to not take anything of value to school. You don't have to take on the job of wuggle police, you weren't there. Personally, I would not call the "swiper's" parents unless you personally witnessed her taking it, you asked her to return it, and she refused. Personally, sadly I would also twice about choosing the "swiper" as a friend to invite over for playdates.

The teacher can make an announcement and send a note home without accusing the child. Just a Please look in your child's backpack for Nancy's Wuggle Pet, she is very sad to have lost it.
That way all the parents will look for it and when Swiper's mom finds it she can deal with it. .
I would also tell the mom about the swiping, but not accuse the daughter. Just say Isn't that so awful that a kindergartener would steal at such a young age.

The teacher, what a good idea.

I would handle it personally. Not involve the teacher if possible. If you didn't know the swiper's family, you would need the teacher's help. Wait a day and see if the swiper returns it on her own (or with her parents' prodding).

Contact the mother personally. When you involve the teacher it becomes a lot of, "he said...she said," and it can be difficult to sort out. Plus, the teacher would end up contacting the mom, so as long as you feel comfortable, cut out the middle man and make the call.

I agree with Angie. Mom may or may not even know the child brought home the little wuggle thing. And if she did happen to see it or notice that it was new, her daughter may have lied about it. (So & So gave it to me, the teacher gave it as a prize, etc). So Mom may be clueless. I will also say, that often, kids that age DO swap toys or things with each other without letting their parents know and without the permission of their parents. While that is not what happened in this case, be aware that you may run into that in the future, and this would be a great time to talk to your kiddo about the "rules" of exchanging items or giving/receiving gifts from friends.

I'd call the mom and give her a "heads up" and do it without accusing but just informing her because you know how hard this stuff is for kids to navigate, and you want her to do the same for you, and blah blah .... Tell her about how kids will give things away without asking their parents, too, and it is not always ok. There are all sorts of things kids have to figure out... and they need guidance.
I probably would NOT share with the other mom that I had contacted the other parent though. Hopefully, you will find out from her that "you won't believe it.... Susie came home today and said that Janie brought her wuggle pet back and apologized!" But, if that doesn't happen, YOU don't want to be in the middle. :/

I would contact the teacher. It happened at school and involves more than one child. Then remind your daughter that next time, she should speak up when it happens (a day or two later, it may not be in the "swiper's" bag but when it happened it sure was).

I would do both; contact mom to ask if *swiper* has it and call teacher because she should know if she has a *swiper* in her classroom

Contact the mother and tell her what happened. In the future, don't let your daughter bring toys to school to exchange. Its better to leave that for a playdate etc. GL

M

I'd actually go talk to the teacher and ask what can be done. Someone will have to ask the mom to go find the wuggle pet at home. Find out from the school who the someone will have to be. It may be that the school won't help with it...

So sorry,
Dawn

Personally, I would be talking to my child about this is why we don't take toys to school.

Yep! The teacher needs to know so if/when a theft happens again she will be 'heads up'. If you feel that you need to contact swiper's parents that is your call, either way I am sure your DD will be questioned eventually by either the school and/or the parents of 'swiper'.

My experience is that swiper's mother would probably not believe it or feel bad if her child was accused of this. Kind of the old 'my little darling wouldn't do this type of thing' issue often comes out unless it is perfectly timed or you have a really cool parent on your hands. Sadly, lots of moms take this personally as though they raised a criminal and they are being led to death row. Next the teacher might be slightly interested, but usually that happens more (the interest) in about sixth to eighth grade when the child is stealing more expensive items or bullying someone. So, although telling the teacher about it might merit some attention, there are so many things that little people do she/he might have moved on the next couple of days to something else.
My thoughts, after going through this things for years, is yes, perhaps jot it down for teacher, identify how the mother will react and then very calmly ask the little girl when she is at your house sometime to return the item and tell her it's not nice.