So Torn on What to Do

I would probably talk to the teacher and find out who this girl is. It's not normal for an 8 year old to have $120 at school. I seriously doubt her mother knew she had that kind of money at school.

Nicole, I have a sneaky feeling that the girl snitched the money from mom's pocketbook. If this is an elementary school bus (you don't mention that she's older), it is hard to believe that this child has this kind of money at her disposal.

If the bus driver can't help you, talk to the principal. And you are right - he shouldn't give back the money until he gets back the cards, but the adults need to arrange the change.

If the mother talks to you or the principal and says it is okay, then that's different. However, like you mention about teaching him not to have that kind of many at school, I guess it's best for him not to try to sell his cards at school.

Hope this helps.
Dawn

I think I would talk to the principal. I can't imagine that any mother would let their child walk around with over $100! You need to find out who this girl is. I hate to say it, but she may have taken it out of her mother's purse and mom may be in a bind because she lost the money! You should check it out.

I agree with Dawn B., but be aware the police might get involved, even though it's elementary kids and things were sold. If she stole the money, which is what it sounds like she did, they (school) might be required to report it and may question your son to see if he was behind her taking that money in the first place.

In the future, I say no selling of anything to kids at school. Today it's Pokeman, tommorrow it's a dime bag of laced pot. No kidding, all the kids I knew who got into the habit of making money off of their friends at school made the "entrepreneurial" jump to the high buck stuff when they got older.

Something to seriously think about. This is a precedent you don't want to be set for your son's sake and your future sanity's sake. Talk to your son about finding more constructive ways to make money than wheeling and dealing at the school yard.

Worse case scenario is he did do something illegal to get that money. You have no way of knowing. As others mentioned the girl might not be real. Drugs and big money transactions and other bad deals can and do happen with kids his age all the time. Ask any police officer assigned to the schools in the area. Not trying to be rude...but it truly is very serious what's going on here.

Go to the school and talk to the teacher or principal about what happened. I bet the mom has no idea that her daughter traded pokemon cards for that kind of money. The school can contact the parents and then they can return the money or get a reasonable amount for that. If this trade was legitimate she would have told your son her name, and in fact, I can't imagine him not knowing her name. There are 700 hundred students in my kid's school and they know every child's name at their grade level.

this sounds really wrong to me .
my kid never had 120 bucks to spend at school.
something is amiss.

An 8 year old walking around with over $100? Something is fishy. I think a trip to the school to find out who this young lady is in order, and a phone call to Mom should be placed. If Mom says it's cool...then your son is now $124 richer. If not, well, the girl is, or should be, in trouble. The fact that she wouldn't tell your son her name leads me to think that the deal isn't on the level. Good luck!

Oddly enough, pokemon, yu-gi-oh, etc., cards can get pretty pricey on trading sites, ebay and more. If you son is trading rare cards then they could fetch a pretty penny. My son used to trade these things also, but when mine was 8 he really didn't know the value of any one specific card. They traded based on card strength, how "cool" the character on the card was, etc.

I would take the issue to the school. $120 is a lot of money for an elementary student to "trade" for pokemon cards and it does make one wonder where the money came from. It may well be the little girl's birthday money and her mom let's her spend it as she wants. But, $120 for pokemon cards would make me twitch. LOL

If the school can put you in touch with the other mom, or talk to her on your behalf, and she okays the deal - then it is a perfect time for your little entrepreneur to open a savings account and begin to do some serious research on the value of his card collection. He could be sitting on the beginnings of a serious college fund. :)

Good Luck

This was one of the reasons trading cards were banned from my son's elementary school.
You could not have them on the bus or on school property.
$120 money at school just isn't right.
Even if I was paying for 10 weeks of school lunches I'd never send the cash to school.
I'd report it to the principal and bus driver so you could find out who her mother is and talk to her about it.
It might be the girl really emptied her piggy bank and it was her own money, but the whole story sounds really fishy.
If you end up keeping the money, get it in a bank account so your son doesn't take it back to school.

I would not be worried about kids saying "don't trade with him", I would want them to say it because my kids are not allowed to trade away their things or buy used toys from friends without both parents right there oking it. I would find out who this girl is and contact her parents. If both they and you are ok with the trade, than fine, but I would not only talk to him about the money, but about not trading at all. You say you think he got a good deal? you only get a very small number of cards for $15-20, so i guess it depends on how many cards he gave her.

Please don't let this go, My son i would trust, my daughter i wouldn't. Does this girl exist?? Are you sure your son is giving you the whole story?? I think $5 is the MOST i would shrug and say way to go on. Over a hundred and No Way. It is possible to track this girl down.
I would start with the bus driver, Look through a year book, talk to your son's teacher. your son may even know where this girl lives or at least where she gets off the bus. I think you really have a responsibility to your son to figure this out. I personally would not consider this a fair trade and wouldn't want to find out my kid was on either end of this.

I would find a way to talk to her parents, and wouldn't quit until I did. That is a YOUNG AGE to even have that money!!! I would not try to reverse things at this point, but I would not keep with the rule "do whatever you want with your money/things", I'd change it to, do whatever you want with HALF of your money and you will save the other half (even though it isn't your child at this point that did the crazy spending). I would want to talk to her parents, and go from there. She needs a VERY valuable lesson in finances- or she won't be able to stay afloat AT ALL as an adult!

This story is just not sitting well with my gut feelings, especially considering your son is unwilling to name the girl.

Children are not allowed to make contracts for a reason. This is a great example. I would be inclined to talk this over with the school counselor. If he/she is worth her salary, (s)he probably has mediation skills to bring this to a satisfactory conclusion for both children. And their families.

And if your son has fabricated a cover story for some reason, the counselor may be able to draw that out, too.

I would talk to the principle and let them know, just in case the mother says the money was stolen and asks the principle to help her. Otherwise, I'd let it go and I'd take that money and put it up for now.

Confiscate the money. Set up a meeting with the principal. Tell your son you are doing this because that is WAY too much money for children to be carrying, something is not right and her Mom needs to be informed, she may have stolen the money. Ask your son again if there is anything more to the story he hasn't shared with you, that you need to know the whole story, and you expect 100% truth before your meeting at school. There is also a chance your son isn't being truthful at all and he has wrongfully acquired the money. Whatever the case, you need to get to the bottom of this with the school authorities.

Do not handle this yourself by going to the bus driver. Go immediately to the principal and explain the situation. Let the school administration handle this officially, in terms of identifying the child involved and recommending a course of action. The bus driver is employed by the bus company, which is contracted by the school. So neither you nor the driver are employed by the school. It is essential that you be on record as having brought this to the school's attention immediately. Do not solve it yourself, do not engage with the girl, do not have your son engage with her on this topic. You are not a school official, and it will also give the girl a head's up to start covering her tracks.

And as you know and everyone has said, $120 on a school child (even a high school senior) is NOT normal or appropriate!

Absolutely take the money to school today and ask to see the principal and teacher. Be sure someone is in the meeting to take notes as well because you want a record that you brought this money in, and want the school to find this child and return the money not to her but directly to her parents. The school officials need to know that children are doing these trades and sales and that kids are bringing this kind of cash, because the school will want to stop this immediately.

Your son may, in all innocence, have "sold" his stuff to another child, who in all innocence might have "borrowed" the cash from mom's purse or dad's wallet -- and now dad or mom may be hopping mad and wondering how the cash ended up with your son. This cash should not stay in your house another night because the parents may come to the school saying they want to find the child who took it from their daughter -- namely, your son -- and they may suspect that he stole it off her. You know he did not, but you do not know what story their daughter may tell them if they are furious at her for taking it. She could easily claim she took it but he stole it from her, or demanded all of it for his goods when she "only meant to give him a little" or anything. Be proactive and get that money to the school right now. The school should be able to help you identify this child if your son can describe her, the time of day she was on the playground (that pinpoints which class she might be in) etc. Don't wait for the girl's parents to come to the school or worse, to involve the police; go, yourself, now.

While you say you don't think he should lose his stuff, that is the price he may have to pay to learn his lesson here: Do not take stuff to school to trade or sell and do not take cash off other kids. He believed her when she said it was hers, of course, because kids believe each other; but sadly it's time he learned that no child his age should carry that kind of wad on her even if it's her own cash.

Is it possible that he's saying he can't identify her because he's afraid of getting her into trouble and he's protecting her? Time for a talk about how it's not helping someone to protect them from their own bad choices. Even if the money was entirely hers and not mom or dad's, she should never have had it at school and her parents need to know she did have it there.

Please update us.

I'd talk to the bus driver and the principal or school counselor. That could be a critical part of some mom's rent/grocery/bill money that she doesn't even realize her "precious" child took yet!

i would let him keep the money thats what kids do i am 23 and when i was little people traded pokemon cards and dragon ball z stuff and other stuff like that if the little girl or her mother isn't complaining neither would i

It sounds like you have done your part and if the girl is unwilling to give up her name or trade back then you shouldn't have to worry, although I'm sure you still will. You could ask the teacher what the girls name is and explain the situation. The teacher might be able to mediate. Your son should not give the money back without getting his items back though. I know nothing about pokemon cards other than hearing of kids trading them so I do not know their worth. That is pretty cool that he was able to sell them for that much though!! On the other hand I would freak out if my 8 year old spent $120 on trading cards, especially at school!! If it were me I would probably talk to the teacher, tell him/her what happened and ask their opinion. They probably know the other parent at least a little and might know if it is normal for that student to carry that kind of money around. Good luck!!

I know I'm late to the party, but I have to chime in and agree completely with Diane B. First of all I think you're, unfortunately, most likely correct about the girl acquiring that money in a less than honest manner, but going to the bus driver is probably not going to get you very far. I am a school bus driver, and if this occurred on my bus not only would I probably not be aware of it because I'm driving and watching the road and I cannot watch the kids at every moment, but I also would be unable to even discuss it with you. If a parent came to me with this the most I could do is refer them to the principle and/or my boss. Even if you live in a small town and the school does own and operate the buses the problem will most likely still be referred to the principle. Privacy laws prevent drivers from giving out personal information on students and that includes their names. Drivers are responsible for the safety and transportation of the students, not the dynamics of how they interact or socialize. The principle is really who you should speak with. It may take a day or two, but he'she will be able to figure out who the girl is and contact her parent(s).