This is my second question today,,,,im reeling.
My daughter was clawed by an older boy on the bus today> She said he always pushes his way in front of her. They have the same stop. Today she said She stood up first and was pushed back violently. She does have a mark from it. Thats not ok in my book, especially since he is a boy, he should not be physical with a girl.
How would you handle it?
My first thought would be to wait for my daughter at her bus stop, see which house the boy goes into (he obviously lives on my street) and talk to his mom or dad. But then i wonder if following him would be creepy and if i should talk to the driver?
I think parents would be more effective right?
Talk to the bus driver. I would even talk to the school to see if this boy is getting physical with other kids.
I haven't read the other responses..but. from personal experience I will go to the school and talk directly with the principal,
The school district's code of conduct applies on the bus as well as the school or any school function. I would go directly to the principal at your daughter's school. They can speak with the bus driver and if they have cameras on the bus they can review the footage. They will take care of contacting the boy's parents and disciplinary actions
Did your daughter tell the driver? I rode the school bus 3 years in high school our bus driver maintained the peace and had zero tolerance for inappropriate behavior. Other steps would be the school, then the parents. If you go directly to the parents, you may nip it in the bud, but what if the bully is a bully because of poor neglectful parents? They may not be receptive to you but are forced to be with the school. Good luck and empower your daughter; role play how she should react the next time it happens. Be sure to take turns being the bully and make sure she uses strong tone of voice.
Any mark left on a child by another and older child warrants a phone call. Call the bus garage and more than likely the bus should have tapes on it they can pull up and see exactly what happened. I have absolutely no tolerance for bullies and would make sure this isn't the case with this older boy. Things like this need to be stopped now and too many parents are sitting back and not doing anything about it!!!!!
I would talk to the bus driver first. It would be pretty embarrassing to talk to the mom only to find out your daughter gave him a black eye a couple weeks ago but his parents didn't want to make a big deal about it.
What I am saying is you don't know for sure your daughter is telling the whole truth and it is best to get the whole story before setting off on your quest.
I am also not sure what the whole boy/girl thing has to do with anything. Not saying this is what happened but if a girl is physical with a boy she should expect he will be physical back.
I have two girls and two boys and the girls picked more fights with their brothers than the other way around. I never got in the middle of a fight unless I saw it.
I would start with the driver, since they should be dealing with the discipline on the bus. If the problem persists, then I would go to the parent. Schools will also often get involved. It is common for students who ride our bussed to get suspended from the bus for inappropriate actions. It then shows discipline to the students, but it also gets the parents involved as they have to provide alternate transportation.
Document everything.
This is unacceptable.
Call the Bus company and talk to the Head person.
Do NOT talk to his parents. This makes things more complicated and parents of BULLIES will sometimes just lie or make it your fault or get into an altercation themselves, or misconstrue your wording.
Contact an Attorney if you have to.
Report it to the Principal as well. Since this boy is going to school there. I assume.
TAKE A PHOTO OF HER INJURY, PRONTO. For documentation.
Take her to the Doctor too. For further documentation.
call the school and address it with the principle or someone else in charge. they will notifiy the bus driver to be on the lookout and also the boys parents. good luck.
I would report it to the school and talk to the bus driver first. And yes, I would be waiting at the bus stop so the boy knows you're there and darn well may be there EVERYDAY.
I would get a sense of the situation from the bus driver so she can keep a closer eye on what goes on.
I would be hesitant to go to the parents first because, and I hate to say it, many parents get very defensive and don't want to believe their little darlings would do something that's wrong. They boy might just say she pushed him first and then you have a he said/she said situation.
If I were you, I'd definitely be waiting at the bus stop and make your presence known.
Good bus drivers don't put up with a lot of guff. A girl on my son's bus scribbled on the back of the seat in front of her and she got suspended for 3 days and had to scrub the inside of the bus.
I hope you get it worked out so this doesn't continue.
Best wishes.
Parents...bad idea. I would venture to guess he will lie, mom and dad won't believe you, and you will be even more mad.
Talk to the bus driver in a rational, non blame, non dramatic way. I suggest putting it to the driver as "have they had problems before, is there some advice on whether I need to speak with my daughter about ____________, I know that many times there are two sides to the story so any details you have would be appreciated."
If you go all gang buster on accusing the kid, you won't get anywhere. If you approach the driver with the rational thought that you are trying to correct the behavior or the situation for them both, and that your daughter may bear some responsibility (whether or not she does)....you will get a much better response.
I haven't read the other esponses, but I am a teacher of over 30 years - things that happen on the bus, at least in my district, have to be handled by the bus driver. That person needs to be informed of the situation and be on the look out for future incidences. If that doesn't help, go directly to the bus drivers supervisor. Keep a journal of the incedients - that should help in the long run. Some kids have become so mean and aggresive the last couple of years - it is really scary to think they will be in charge of our country in just a few years.
If you try to follow him home and talk to the parents, he could deny it and they may not believe your daughter, or be willing to do anything to resolve the situation. Parents nowadays don't ever want to hear or believe negative things about their kids. Since you don't know them and therefore won't be stepping on any toes, you should definitely speak to the driver and the school. They will contact the parents. Have your daughter tell the driver exactly which child hurt her so there is no mistake about it. He will be disciplined by the school and hopefully the parents, but if not, at least by the school.
I would start with the driver, and move on to the parents if that did not work
How old are these kids?
Following a kid home from the bus - bad idea
Talk to the bus driver ask what exactly happened and tell him/her you are concerned and ask if they could have a conversation on the bus about pushing and shoving for everybody.
If you single this kid out it could easily backfire on your kids
Take her to school one morning, get his name from your daughter talk to the principal, bus driver, and have a meeting with the parents at school. My daughter had similar issues this year with a boy that was bigger than her. Anyone hitting or pushing your child is unacceptable and the school system needs to take it seriously. I told my daughter to speak up for herself and make sure she tells an adult if anyone hits her. Parents would be more effective but after you contact the school and bus driver so it can be on file. Hope this helps :)
I would stir up a huge mess over this. I would call the bus barn and complain that the driver is allowing this to happen. I would notify the principle, I would tell the teacher, I would follow the kid home and tell his parents exactly what he is doing. I would not rest until it was addressed fully to my satisfaction.
It happened on the bus.
Report it to the driver and the school principal.
Ask to see the tapes. You might find that there is more to the story.
LBC
My daughter was being bullied by an older boy on the bus who was at the same stop. I talked to the mother about it. Two days later she turned it around that my daughter was picking on him! I talked to the bus driver who had heard some of the namecalling but couldn't change my daughter's seat (because she was in kindergarten at the time), but changed his. He complained to his mother who verbally ambushed me at the bus stop the next day. He continued to call my daughter names, his mother refused to believe me, the final straw being her calling me on the phone repeatedly, telling me what a horrible mother I was, what a terrible neighbor, she'd tried to be a good neighbor and friend and look how horribly I'd treated her and I'd threatened her child (when?), etc. I recorded her calls and took them to the vice-principal of the school. I also had the bus driver sign a statement that he had heard the boy call my child "evil." I volunteered to take my daughter to a different bus stop on a different route - one block away.
Peace at last. But from what I've heard about that little boy, he's spent a lot of time in the principal's office.
Avoid the parents - some of them can turn out to be defensive and get a bit crazy.
Good luck.
My daughter had the same problem. I wrote a letter of the incidences and included the name of the person to the school principal. I made sure that a copy was put in that childs folder for any future problems with other students. I also made copies for the bus driver and one for my file. The bus driver was a little annoyed and scared that I had already approached the school, but I think it helped a little so the driver would pay a bit more attention on whats going on around them. ( my daughter had also told the bus driver at one time of the problem, but nothing was done) this was also in my report. Documentation seemed to work for us, Good Luck
p.s. maybe take a picture for your folder and the principal too
Call the school and voice your concerns. They will inturn call the bus garage and tell them and they will tell the driver. He should be written up. That is bullying. I am a bus driver and I DO NOT tolerate that kind of behavior. The only other thing is to tell her to stay seated until he gets passed her. Go to her bus stop. Try to watch what he is doing and when you see it for yourself complain to the driver. Ask your daughter what his name is and call the parents. When he is leaving marks on her then you have a serious problem. Call the school tomorrow. Take a picture of the mark that he left. He is making riding the bus a very bad experience for her. But for her sake do not let this go any further. Good Luck!
I would wait with her in the morning..Call the bus tell them that there was a boy who pushed your daughter in a not so nice manner & see if the driver is able to repeat the rules of the bus agin in the morning or call the principal or send an email leting her know or you can just go to the parents hopme & ask to speak with them about the situation that occured today.You have options just choose which one you like to do.I however would do all of them making sure my point gets across & that i'm not going to accept that behavior with my child,something will be done about it
Don't confront the parents. Definitely report it to the school principal and let them take the appropriate action, especially if there was a mark left on your child! I'm sure they will take care of the issue as most schools have a zero tolerance policy for this type of behavior. If it keeps up they will not allow that child to ride the bus any longer.
