Sleeping Problems - Claremore,OK

hi, we had the same problem. although we let her cry for 20 min. then we go in & tell her :gently: i'ts time for bed and mama or daddy loves you very much, good night now. then we lay her back down and close the door. she usually is asleep in a few minutes. now she does go to sleep right a way, but some times she does cry and it's only a few minutes. once you put them down do not them them get back up just keep laying them down. i hope this helps. N. k

Hi E.,

I know it sounds cruel!
I felt the same way when my son was little (he is now two and is a GREAT sleeper.)
I was the same as you as far as not wanting to let him cry. It took me getting so sick on time that I had to let him cry it out. He eventually fell asleep and the next time it didn't take as long and before we knew it he was going right to sleep. I would let him cry 10 minutes and if he is still crying go in and pat him on the back for a minute and then leave again (even if he's still crying) and keep repeating...(this way he knows that you hear him and that he knows you are there.) don't make eye contact and don't talk to him. just rub or pat his back...(Don't pick him up)
stay strong...we were so amazed that we wondering why it took us so long to do it. it ends up being easier on you and on him.
Good Luck
K.

E., I had a similar problem with my oldest. Here is what I did (I took a suggestion from my Mom) ... I got him a stuffed animal to sleep with and even though it sounds cruel I let him cry. The stuffed animal gave him something to hold. As for the crying, I would go in and check on him after a bit (sometimes several times), I would not pick him up, but I would pat his back or rub the side of his face and tell him I was there and it was ok and that it was sleeping time. There were times he would sit up or stand up (or try) and I would just lay him back down and tell him night night time. Patience and Persistence. Good Luck, it is always hard hearing them cry but sometimes, well there are times when all of us just need to cry or veg.

E., I just got my 15 month old out of that stage "Thank God". He wouldn't go to sleep without being rocked, and he wouldn't let anybody but mommy rock him. I know some of the moms won't agree with this but I started putting a sippy cup or bottle to bed with him. That seems to help, he usually falls asleep within 15 min now. My ped adviced me to let him cry for 10 min go in check, don't pick him up or talk to him, leave, if he was still crying go back in 10 min later and so on until he fell asleep. He finally started learning how to entertain himself in his crib, so he would play then fall asleep. It also helps that he got attatched to a little blue bear! I also play a classical cd for him which helps him calm down. I have the cd player on repeat so he hears it all night.
Hope this helps. OH yeah, there are several books you can buy that help with the transition.

Get Dr. Ferber's book, it's really good. You let her go 5 or ten minutes, go in and pat her back and say "i love you" (a very quick check/reassurance- mostly for you), then let her go ten minutes before checking on her, then 15. The next night you start at 15 and go 15, 20, 25. The 3rd night you fo 25, 30, 35. It worked for us quite fast the second night. Often it's best for dad to do it and for mom to leave the house for a while, babies just seem to know you're there (and it saves your sanity). You'll thank yourself when it's over and it seemed less harsh than Dr. Weisbluth's method (shutting the door on her for the night). Good luck, she's ready to do it!

Hi E. M...I had a friend that had the same problem your having and heres what she did. She had just her everyday clothes on but when it was all most nap time or bed time she would put on a button up shirt on over her other clothes,then when the baby went to sleep in her arms she would take that button up shirt off lay it in the baby bed with baby, and her sent would be on the button up and there for the baby thought she was still with the mother because she could smell her sent.Try it ,it worked for her.what have you got to loose except a good nights rest...S.

Its time to establish a very obvious bed time routine: first we brush our teeth, then we read a story, then put her in bed and YES, let her cry it out. Children HAVE to learn to self soothe, it is part of how they adapt and become whole people in this world. You can communicate that you love her so much and tell her goodnight, but after that, I would close the door and not open it for any reason. It honestly may take an hour the first 3 nights (that is approximately how long it takes a child to break a sleep pattern habit), but it is worth it for her and for you. But the key is CONSISTENCY. If you cave, you have just put the three night count back to zero.
Good luck! tough love!

I had sleep issues with my own children - at various ages when I decided they needed help learning to sooth themselves. I really liked the Baby Whisperer book by Tracy Hogg in regard to sleep issues. Health Sleep Habits Happy Child is an excellent sleep book for children of various ages. Babywise has good ideas, but is a bit harsher in it's methods. It is not easy to do this the older they are. Just remember that you and your child will feel soooo good once you get the sleep issues worked out - I found my children were different as they were finally getting enough sleep. You will feel liberated! Good luck. Send me any questions you have directly. S.

E.,

I too am a first time mom (my son is almost 8 months), and really dislike the sound of my child crying. We used to rock our child to sleep, and just recently he has decided he doesnt like it... so we simply put him in his crib. He fusses for about five minutes.
This took some practice on my part. From my own experience, when I would go in there and pat and try to soothe him, the more upset he got, b/c I wouldnt pick him up.
Good Luck... you are not alone!

I just went through this with my 10 and half month old baby girl. She kept waking up at 2 or 3 am consistantly and I would bring her to bed with me or I tried rubbing her back but she would just CRY AND CRY! So, after a frustrating night of trying to get her to sleep, I finally just gave up and put her in her bed and walked away(mostly because I was waaayyyy to tired to try anymore!)And she fussed and cried for a bit and then she rolled around in her bed and finally gave up and went back to sleep. It only took a few days and she figured out that it didn't pay to wake up because she would just be put back in her bed. She now wakes up around 5:30am(which is still way to early! But much better!)
And yes, we have a routine and had one from the beginning...but she would still fuss each time I put her into bed and again, that just took time of rubbing her back and rocking her and leaving her to cry and going back. I would do that for at least 30 minutes; and that usually did the trick.(also my MIL got us a video monitor and that helped because I can now SEE what she does in her bed so I know how serious she is about the crying!)
Good luck!

Aw! Congratulations on your new baby! Key word here is BABY. She is still a baby! She has not developed predictable or controllable sleep times in no way. She may not be ready for bed when you are or she just wants to be with her mommy a little more. We as Americans are for some reason not as willing to be close with our children at sleep time as practically all other countries. There is nothing wrong with letting the kids into bed, especially if they are still babies! My suggestion for you, if you like, is to let her fall asleep on your chest on the couch and in the middle of the night when you wake up transfer her to her bed and then you can hit the sack, Parenting is 24/7 forever, you are just getting started! And how wonderful! Enjoy your baby.

E.,

I know that you might think it is cruel to let her cry it out but it works. I promise! My son started that about that age and after 10 to 15 minutes of crying it out he fell asleep. If she cries non stop for 20 minutes then get her up. Put her in the bed and tell her goodnight and leave the room and close the door. She will get used to you not coming back in! It really works.

Good Luck!

I understand that w/ being a 1st time mommy it's hard to hear your child cry. (not that it's any easier when you have more =]) But it really isn't "cruel" to let your child figure out how to go to sleep by themselves. At some point, they have to. And take my word, it'll be easier now than when she is 2. A good technique... go in after about 10 min, don't pick her up. Just pat her back, soothe her. Leave and wait 15 min. Repeat... don't pick her up. Tack on 5 min each time. Just like she has learned that crying will get you in there, she'll realize you aren't going to come running every time she fusses.
I had to do this w/ my 2nd. She was just a little older than yours and it took about 4 nights of her crying herself to sleep before she got it. That may seem harsh, but it worked. After that 4th night, she went to sleep and we didn't have ANY more trouble w/ her going to bed on her own.

Just keep in mind how much harder it will be if you wait much longer. Trust me... it's A LOT worse when you hear, "Mommy!" along w/ the crying. =]

Hang in there and be strong. Remember, it's not a punishment to begin to teach small steps of independence. You need your rest, too. Not only as a SAHM, but also if you're going to be starting work. You are a great mom!!!

~K.

I know its hard to let her cry, but does she have a comfort for her crib? Like a blanky, or stuffed animal she likes? My almost 2 year old didn't get attached to a comfort for sleeping until she was 18 months, and that is her "pretty" a sarong she got attached to. She curls up with it, goes and gets it when she wants a nap or to go to bed. Very cute. You might try seeing what she likes and encouraging her to comfort herself with her "pretty". Just my experience.

I have a four year old who still comes to bed with me. While I try to say "Enjoy it. She'll grow out of it someday". I don't know that she's enjoying her mother during the day when I'm SO grouchy from lack of sleep.

It sounds cruel, but it only gets harder. I let my second son cry it out because I had "learned my lesson" with my oldest and things are much better with him. Now, I only wish I remembered my own medicine when My little girl was little. She's tired. I'm tired.

I'll pray for you!!

I know it's tough, but your family is right--you just need to let her cry! If you don't, your daughter will end up depending on you to either sleep with her or get her to sleep...and you may have a 3 year old in your bed every night like we did!
Good luck.