Sleep in Issues in a 2 1/2 Year Old

We are dealing with the same thing, some nights are good and some nights are terrible. We use Cry it out because it is the only thing that has ever worked for us. It is terrible, but it is a manipulation activity and that's the end of it.

My daughter is the same way (she's 2). I love M R's idea, but I usually just let her cry it out (she usually is quiet or talking quietly within five minutes). She can always think of something else. I just make sure she has had a drink of water, has what she wants and then I let her know this is the last song then I am going to blow her a kiss and leave and ask her if she understands - to which she usually answers yes and then I do just what I said. If she says no I explain it again. If she still says no I just do what I said I was going to do. She is already a master at manipulating and would continue all night with requests if I let her. My daughter does it with both my husband and I. Good luck!

Give her "get out of bed free" cards. Of course not cards, but the idea.
Find 2 of something soft. Give them to her and let her know that if she comes out of her bed you will take one away and do what she needs then she is to go back to bed. If she comes out again you will take the second one away and take care of what she wants then she is to go back to bed. After those two are gone she isn't allowed to come out of her bed or she is in trouble. (in my house that would be a spanking, some parents would take away something she likes others will say no TV the next day or an earlier bedtime, up to you). When she whines to come out or comes out the 3rd time you tell her, "I'm sorry, but your get out of bed free animals are all used up, I can't help you tonight anymore and you can't get out of bed anymore now."

Since you are letting her out twice you may want to start bedtime 15 minutes earlier so she can use those two times.

Tape three sheets of colored paper to her wall. These are her special request sheets. She asks for a glass of water? One comes down. She needs a different blankie? The second paper comes down. She has a boo boo that needs kissed? The last sheet comes down and she has exhausted all of mom and dad's return trips. That's it - no more 'stalling excuses' to get out of bed.

Before implementing this routine, spend the day hyping it up with her. Let her know that this is the plan and you intend on following it. Of course you know the difference between stalling and having an actual need at night time. I'm not saying to deny an actual need, but most of the time you KNOW she just doesn't want to go to sleep and wants your company.

Once you've managed to have success with this you can cut it down to one 'bedtime pass'. Let her decorate it with stickers, glitter, whatever. She will get one opportunity for "one more..." and then after that, you're done.

You say she only does this for you and not your husband. Wow - sounds wildly familiar! Maybe your husband needs to take the reins on this for a week or two so she learns that her attempts to stall and/or get out of bed are futile, thus extinguishing the behavior. When we transitioned our son to the big boy bed, he could spend 2 hours getting out of bed for me but go down like an angel for dad. Guess what had to happen? Dad had to suck it up (and he did so gladly) and be the 'sentry' at bedtime. I transitioned back into the routine by doing the bedtime routine then leaving immediately after. When he would hop out of bed expecting to see me, he opened the door and saw daddy. After the one trip out of bed, he never got out again for the night. Now, either of us can put him to bed, and even if I put him to bed he still probably thinks daddy is waiting outside so he doesn't bother getting up. My point being, maybe daddy has to take one for the team in order to get your girl to stay in bed and then once she's gotten with the program, you can start to transition back into the process.

Good luck with you! It's hard to have over 2 years of joyful, routine sleep without problems (that was us) and then adjust to some sort of change. But remember that with consistency and patience, it will just be a little blip and things will go back to normal.

They do test your boundaries at this age! My mom said not to acknowledge or indulge in all the million requests. Rather tucking her back in, without eye contact and saying a simple "Good Night" and leaving the room. It is difficult to do at first but she will get the point. That you are there for her and the first couple nights she may not go to sleep for a couple hours, but the payoff is big, so do try. I found it hard not to hug or wanna give the "lovvies" my lil' one requested. But he now goes down without a lot of fuss. He is 3 y.o. now. Best of luck to you!

Do you think our daughters are twins? My 2 1/2 year old is going through the same thing! I went to Dr. Weissbluth last week and he suggested making a chart for my daughter. I did this with my son, who was a bit older at the time, and it seemed to work. Weissbluth told me to put some rules on the top of the chart. The chart should be colorful and fun. The rules are: 1) close your eyes 2) be quiet 3)lay down and don't move 4) try to go to sleep. If your daughter does all of these, she can get a sticker. I made a grid under the rules and will put a sticker in each square if my daughter is successful. If she's not, I'll put an X in the square. We're going to try it for the first time time. Weissbluth said you can also use other things like a bowl of candy or a small toy. If your daughter follows the rules, she can pick out one piece of candy or a small toy (or sticker; nothing educational because he said we should never deprive them of something educational). My daughter throws a tantrum sometimes if I just give her one piece of something (she usually wants two or the whole thing, which is my fault), so for me I think the chart will work best because I can explain that each square is for each nap/bed time. If you want more info about sleep, I love Weissbluth's book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby. He said that many kids should nap until 4 or 5 years old, so don't let anyone tell you that your daughter is outgrowing her nap!! I have to battle that all the time. My daugther still naps for 2 hours in the afternoon--when she takes a nap--but has been inconsistent about it. Thus the sleep consultation with Weissbluth. Good luck!

It must be the age-my son did it too. He only did it with my husband. Kids know woh they can get away with things from. Let her know she can't with you. WHen its bed time- its bed time. Be firm. since she went to bed before-she wil again. Let her know you are the mom and you are in charge. DO your routine, put her to bed and tell her goodnight. Also tell her not to leave her bed -period. If she leaves her bed firmly tell her its bedtime and bring her back to bed. If she leaves again tell her nothing- just put her back into bed. We saw this technique on Supernanny, so I made my husband do it and it worked for him. It did take 2 nights for him to understand Dad meant business. Now bedtime is great. We do our bedtime routine put the boys to bed. Then we get to have mommy and daddy time. The key is not to make a game of it. No offense to anyone else -but you don't need stickers or bribes- we are the parents and kids need to listen. Good Luck!

Since this only happens with you then let your husband be the one who brings her the items she is looking for. You can tell her you are going to the store or on a walk and let Daddy be the only one home. She may change her tune. You need to be strong.
I agree that the next morning is too late to 'punish' her.
I would try to make sure she has everything she needs before you leave the room and tell her you will only come back in the room once. Stick to it. If you feel that you should go back in have your husband go in-not you.
Good Luck

We've had this issue in the past so what we did was I thought of every excuse they have come up with to get out of bed and typed them up and put them as part of their new bedtime routine. I think the previous poster's idea was cute about the 3 chances, but honestly, I wouldn't want my kids knowing they have 3 more chances to come out of the room because they would take them all. With 4 kids, that 12 times I am messing around with them after bedtime.
So anyway, ours was like..
1. get stuffed animal 2. say goodnight/kiss/hug all sisters and mommy and daddy and dogs 3. get a sip ( I stress "sip" so we don't have accidents at night!) of water 4. brush teeth 5. get all blankets you could add 6. check for boo boos whatever... we had like 10 things on the list last thing is get tucked in and stay in bed. Believe it or not, it worked. They didn't come up with any more things. I also hyped it up, asked them if there were any more things we needed to add to the list and explained that once we were done, we were done and they were not to come out. Period. Punishing won't work for the next day at this age because like you said, she won't remember it. If she does come out after the list, first time say no, that's not part of the list and carry her back to bed and leave. Second, third, fourth, etc. say absolutely nothing and carry her back to bed. Good luck!