Hello-
My son is not the best sleeper in the world. He has never been, and when he was 4-5 months I did something I swore I would never do and brought him into my bed. I was so sleep deprived, and the first morning I got three consecutive hours of sleep and didn't look back. Now, he sleeps well enough, although he still becomes restless and often gets up by 5 or 5:30. His nap schedule varies based on when we get up, and it is difficult to plan anything until the day of :-(.
Anyway, as much as we like to have him in our bed, we would like him to move to his own bed and room. I am very concerned about this process and what it will do to affect my son and our night time schedule. I am not a fan of the cry it out method, although I understand that at times it has a place. I just don't think I could deal with extended periods of it knowing that I could help him.
This is not a problem I ever thought I would be dealing with, and now find myself at a loss. Will it make his sleep time even worse, or will it just be me who is getting up? Any advice, particularly based on your experience in a similar situation would be appreciated. I am unsure about this move, but I guess we are going to try as soon as we return from a holiday trip.
Thanks.
Read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth.
Crying it out only lasts a couple of nights, I promise!
His advise/strategies will give everyone the sleep they need and deserve.
I had the same problem. I started around 1-1.5. I would lay in bed with him in his bed and read a short story and then sing him a couple of quit songs to calm him and then I would lay with him until he fell asleep. Usually by the time we were finished he was pretty tired and relaxed and fell asleep pretty quickly. I then eventually moved to leaving his room when he was half asleep if statrted to get up or whiny as I was leaving I would lay back down and stay until he fell asleep. He would still wake up and get in bed with me in the middle of the night and I let him until he was about 4(almost 5,which he is now) and we had a new baby. I didn't stop it right away because I didn't want him to feel left out with the new baby and all but after a few months I did a sticker chart; every morningthat he woke up in his bed he was able to put a sticker on his calender and at the end of the week on Sat. if everyday had a sticker on it he was able to pick a piece of paper from a little gift bag and he received that reward(My son and I wrote down different things on pieces of paper like go to the park or McDonald's play land(if it was cold out), go to the movies, get ONE new toy,a free night to sleep in Mommy and Daddy's bed, get a new book(for the bedtime story)ect.). Now he sleeps in his every night and doesn't wake up or come in our room until morning to wake me or if he's not feeling good. The most important thing is to stick with it, don't be lax, and once you start a routine don't revert no matter what. Don't rush it or push too hard, it will take time and patience and it is a very long process as you see it took me a total of 3-4 years to get him completely on his own. We still do a bed time story and sing our two special songs everynight. That is now our special time. Oh and he will slowly start forgetting to put stickers on the calendar and picking from the gift bag on his own. We did it for about 2 months before he started to forget. Good luck. I hope you find something that works.
Where does he nap? I would start by doing all naps in his own room. Make his room attractive to him, if there is a particular toy he likes take it to his room, or read in there, etc.
My son use to sleep with us, but not every night, and he was around 18-24m at the time. We spent about 45m-1 hour getting ready for bedtime, diapering, changing, a little wind down exploration play, and then a book or two while we rocked.
When he would come in to us during the night, we would take him back to his room, he would fuss, but after about two weeks he was doing really good. Sometimes I had to go in in the night and rock him, but it became less and less often.
We had tried a twin mattress on the floor, but decided to stay with the crib.. it was too much of a game in and out of bed. Although you could put a gate on the doorway.
I would guess his sleep pattern would definitely become more regular, and maybe his naps could then be set to the same time every day or within a 30 minute range. It would probably be easier for you to predict his tiredness.
Supernanny has a bedtime technique in the book. Check your library.
Best of luck, just be comforting and consistent to send a clear message.
I would do exactly what the other response said. Go to his room and sleep or sneek out when he is sleeping but I would do it now - dont wait much longer or it will get much harder. I said I would never do it and Both my girls slept with me. It was really hard for them to switch and even now my 4 year old sleeps in my bed but daddy puts her in her room when she falls asleep. Good luck
I have an almost 3 year old boy and had the same problem. I didn't expect to co-sleep, but couldn't get him to sleep any other way and just couldn't take the exhaustion any more.
When he was about 10 mos old, we got a twin bed for his room. It's a low platform bed. I was able to get him to nap in his room from about 12 mos. At about 18 mos, I started sleeping with him in his room at night with the intention of eventually weaning him from sleeping with me. Then I got pregnant and was totally exhausted all the time so my husband started sleeping with my son in son's room. After a few days, he would leave after my son was asleep. My son would still come to our room during the night. We would try to keep taking him back to his room, but the need for sleep and our habit of co-sleeping made us pretty lax about that.
Now we put my son to bed in his own bed. He stays there for most of the night and will come into our room around 4 or 5 am and climb into bed with us until morning. Some mornings he just comes to wake us around 7am.
I don't know if any of that helps you. Basically, for us it's been a slow process but we haven't really been pushing it. I started with nap training first -- put him down for nap at or near the same time everyday regardless of when he got up and do anything you can to get him to nap. Then once I got naps under control I did the same with bedtime.
We moved my son to his own room about the same time. I would just rock/sing/nurse him in his own room and spend a good amount of time putting him down. I think at the beginning I did end up getting up to go calm him a couple times a night, but he got used to it pretty quickly.
Hey EG--I had a VERY similar experience with my daughter. She ended up sleeping btw. my husband and I for months--just so we all could get some sleep. When we attempted to put her back in her crib--she would have nothing to do with it. This may sound pricy, but we ended up buying a twin bed (just the mattress) that was also a pillow-top mattress just like ours. We placed it next to our bed with a side rail attached and she slept great! This way, she had her own space, but was still within reaching distance if needed. She was 14 mo. when we did this. It worked well for us. This really doesn't help with his own room, but maybe it would at least get him into his own bed. Anyway, hope this helps a little.
My daughter slept with me from the day she was born. When I met my fiance I decided to put her in the neverusedbefore crib. I didn't do too well. Her on the other hand, did absolutely wonderful! She never cried, whined, even made a sound. As soon as I put her down she was out. Now, she cries when she doesn't feel well, or she's nowhere near bed time. But she did a lot better than I thought.
