4 Year Old Still Wont Sleep All Night in Her Bed!

I know this is a little different but it might work. We put a clock in his room, the kind with big numbers and since he knew his numbers we told him that he could get up and come in our room when the numbers on the clock said "7 3 0....meaning 7:30". We found that he was always coming into our room to ask us if it was time to get up, or he saw the sun up and thought it was time to get up. With the clock in his room he just waited in bed until it was 7:30...although we told him that if he had to go potty he could get up and go, but then he must get back in bed until his clock said the right time. We started that about age 4 and even to this day we tell him what time he can get out of bed and he respects that...if not he would be up and running around the house at 6 and waking everyone else.

You might even want to try and let her sleep with something special that would remind her of you and tell her that she can only have it in her big girl bed if she stays in her room all night. But that if she keeps coming in your room she wont be able to have that something special.

Just a thought...I hope things work out for you. Your not a horrible mother...we all just have days like that sometimes..but it's just a phase that will soon pass.

Hi E.,
I had this problem with my son too. I know that can drive you nuts. I know that some parents put a gate up to keep kids in at least their room. I know my son gets up and I tell him that he has to go back and get in his bed. I don't let him sleep in our bed at all. My husband and I think that sometimes our little guy is sleeping walking. Could your little girl be doing that or is it just that she wants to close to Mommy and Daddy. Hope that this helps you and you and your hubby get some much needed sleep. GOOD LUCK!!!

Just a couple of things to throw at you. Does she have anight light? My 15 yr old still sleeps with a night light, she hates the dark and always has. I don't know that I would continue with the tv before bed. It stimulates the brain and makes it harder for little ones to get to sleep, and stay asleep, try reading a bedtime story. Also, have you tried a reward system (I don't particularly like these unless it is for potty training, because then it will become expected). Maybe she needs to sleep with a shirt of yours or your husbands, something that still has your smell on it. Our sn had to do that for MONTHS, but it worked.
Good Luck!

I have read several good responces here and would like to add something a little different. Have you considered putting a mattress or a sleeping bag on the floor next to your bed? Something she could sleep on when she comes into your room so she can be near you without actually getting into bed with you. I'm sure this is just a phase and all to soon she will find her independence and won't need you as much anymore. Right now she just wants to be with you and there is nothing wrong with encoureging this behavior as along and you can find a way to deal with it where you ALL can get a little more rest. Good Luck!

T.

Hello E.:

My daughter has a sensory integration problem and with her problem she is terrified to be alone. We have put her in therapy and one of the tools they gave us for night time was a weighted blanket. Now I am not saying your daughter has a sensory integration problem, but I am saying the weighted blanket might work for your daughter. It is a little heavy and it makes them feel safe and cuddled which is she is trying to get one or the other by coming into your bed. You can buy these on-line at a healthy price or you can make your own. If you are interested in how to make you can email me at ____@____.com (put weighted blanket in the subject or I might delete you not recognizing the address). I made one for my daughter for around $40.00 as opposed to the $100 plus they were going for on-line. I am not saying it will work in your case, but for my daughter we are finally getting a good night sleep. If you want to try the idea of weights before doing the blanket, get some heavy pillows and pile them on her from the waist down. I tried this until I could afford the blanket. Good luck.

First of all, watching TV before bed is a NO NO for a small child. This stimulates their already active brains instead of relaxing them. Try reading stories and making a routine before bedtime. Children thrive on routines! Nothing too active though...teeth brushing, potty time, cuddles, stories, prayers and then Nighty-night.

We are having a difficult time with my son right now at bed time. He is 3. After our bed time routine, kisses goodnight, he is out of his bed at least 2-3 times with stall tactics. He comes out to tell us that he forgot to give me a hug, or needs his stuffed puppy, or forgot to give dad a kiss. You name it, he is all too good at stalling to go to sleep. I have however, started a reward system. If he stays in bed after mommy & daddy say our goodnights, when he wakes up he gets a sticker on his chart. After he has accumulated 3 stickers, he gets a candy treat. My kids will do anything for something sugary! It seems to be working, but he does relapse when his mood is stubborn.

With my daughter, she was an early riser, and having a clock near her bed seemed to work for her. She could not come out of her room to wake mommy until she saw a 7 as the first number...sometimes on a weekend we'd change it to 8. It is good practice for number recognition too. Also, when my husband goes out of town, he leaves a t-shirt of his for her to snuggle with at bedtime. It is the smell of daddy that she likes and it makes her feel safe in her bed!
Hope you get some rest soon!

We are finishing up going through the exact same thing with our 4 year old daughter. I bought a big box of charms and a charm bracelet. After every night she stayed in her bed the whole night, we'd let her pick a charm out in the morning. If she got out of bed, she didn't earn the charm. Now she's proud of herself and loves her charms that she's earned.
Good luck! J.

We had the same problem with our 4 year old as well. Several times a night he'd come into our bed and usually cried after we put him back in his. He started soccer and wanted a certain color soccer ball, so we made a deal. We put a chart on our refrigerator and told him that if he could sleep in his own bed for 10 nights in a row then he could get the ball. If he came to our bed at night #5--then he had to start all over. We also told him that if it is dark outside, then that means it's still night time and he had to stay in his own bed. However, if he woke up and it was starting to get light, then he could come cuddle with us until my husband got up for work and we'd start our day. During this transition time, I was also pregnant with our 3rd baby and explained that mommy needed sleep at night because I'd be getting up during the night with the new baby and I didn't want to be a grumpy mommy because I was tired from feeding the baby AND taking him back to bed all night.
Seemed to work--he hasn't come to our room since he earned his ball.

I am a 25 yr old mother of 4 wonderful children who's ages are 8,6,3,and 2. I know how you feel with the night time issue. I had to deal with the same thing. The best thing I can tell you is since she is 4 yrs old and is safe to be in a room alone at night then you should leave the t.v. on but volume off so she has something there to focus on plus its a little night light for her also. It will help her feel safe enough to stay in the room throughout the night alone. Also make sure she has a couple toys in her bed like a baby and stuffed animal that if she wakes up there is something there with her and if it takes a minute or two for her to fall back to sleep at least she will have something in her bed to do and wont have the will to want to come wake mommy and daddy up. That is two things I would try and if that isnt the key to it then I would take her to her family doctor and see what they can tell you. I feel for you though. Good luck!!!

Our 4 year old does the same. She goes to bed between 8 and 8:30 every night and by 2 am she is in our bed, sleeping. most nights i don't even hear her come in. we used to fight with her and put her back to bed 3 or 4 times a night, until it was affecting our sleep (we also have a 1 year old). she seems to go in phases...she'll go for several weeks and stay in her own bed.

i would say:
1. make sure her room is warm enough
2. put a night light in her room - maybe she is waking up and is afraid
3. and if all else fails, let her stay w/ you every now and then.

have you tried putting a baby gate across her door so she cant leave her room?

E., my daughter, now 3, would come out of her room at all hours of the night if the door was open. I started closing the door and she nows stays in her room all night, even if she wakes up. A friend resolved a similar problem by letting their daughter go to sleep in the parent's bed with one or the other parent. After she was asleep, they moved her to her own bed - no more late night sojourns to the parent's bed.

i personally haven't experienced anything like this yet... but my niece is the same way. i would suggest maybe talking to your ped. maybe they have good suggestions. could it be she's having nightmares? or eating something bothering her tummy?