Sleep, Baby, Sleep

I used the book "The Baby Whisperer" which is a modified cry it out where you go and soothe but do not interact...as in "okay here I am I love you pat and rubs on the back until you stop crying and then back to bed"...even if she cries again it is a different time and give her a few minutes 3-5 minutes before you rescue her. Consistency is the key...her bed time should be 6-9 pm and wean her off the night feedings..she is not hungry she is just used to them. We eat dinner and then watch the evening news my kid knows that at the end of the night (we say bye to Brian Williams) he needs to clean up his toys, run around the coffee table, wash hands and teeth, and then head to his bedroom for pjs and books...this works or not depending on his mood--he is an excellent procrastinator BUT we do it the same way every day so he knows what to expect...if he does deviate he knows it is not okay. He is in bed by 8:30 the latest.

Your whole family needs the sleep, you have the ritual but it needs to have a consistent time frame.

Hyper is tired in a toddler... I went through this but my kid was 9 months old so he was not so set in his ways as your daughter will be ...it will be hard but it will be worth it.

Borrow the book from the library...it is a fairly easy read and good luck, remember that she does not need to be awake but something is motivating her not to sleep, if you can make waking up not worth her while she may wake up fewer times.

Good Luck, Nat

Sounds like her feeding schedule is out of whack and making her sleeping schedule too busy with too many feedings. She has no schedule. You have created a nice bedtime routine, but it sounds like she's still needing a regular schedule to get her in a rhythm for sleep.

She really shouldn't need to nurse at night anymore, especially 3-16 times. How is her nursing during the day? Is it as busy and often as the nighttime? I would consider using a cup now, allowing her more liquids and water intake throughout the day and weaning the nursings. Then once meal times become more scheduled, then naps can become scheduled as well. At 14 months, after lunch would be a time I would nurse, then put her down for a snooze. If she doesn't sleep at first, that's okay, just let her stay in her crib with a few of her favorite toys and some soft music playing. This routine will teach her about resting...she may cry, and its okay to allow that during a "nap time" and it may wear her out for a nap. Then after a while (making it longer and longer each day) get her up and play, play, play with her until dinner...provide her with lots of engaging activities inside and outside (especially outside!). She sounds like she's a child that needs to be busy!! LOL!! Once she has her dinner, then your nighttime routine, she should be tired for bed. Make sure she's plenty hydrated all day with that sippy cup...lots of water, and perhaps starting her on cows milk to supplement the nursings. Stick to a schedule that works for your family, keep her very busy and active during long stretches (no more little cat naps all day) and she will be more ready for bed. She's ready for more action, less nursing, and more liquids in a cup which will keep her hydrated all night (not needing to nurse as often).

Oh you poor thing - I know exactly how you feel, although my daughter doesn't wake up quite that often! I think, from personal experience, you need to wean her off the night feeding. This in itself will help her sleep better. It won't be easy, but it WILL help and you may be surprised - it could just take a few days. I found with my daughter that she just had to be soothed as a bottle just annoyed her more (she had never taken one so it was just weird for her). Make sure she has a good dinner and you give her a feed before she goes to bed, but then hand her off to your husband for the first 2-3 nights. She'll know she can't get a feed from him, so she'll accept it a bit better coming from him - and then by the time he's exhausted/fed up with it at least you'll have had some rest and can take over. What ever method you decide to do just stay consistent between the two of you. Like I stayed with her and soothed her but wouldn't take her out of her cot (I would kind of hang over the side and hug her if she needed it, lie down beside the cot etc) The first few nights it's about soothing them through the confusion of not getting the boob anymore, but after that it's more about teaching them how to calm down and go to sleep (so you need to engage with them a bit less - read "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems" - it's for older babies and is quite "common-sense" in its approach) You'll find the first night is hell, the next is oddly simpler, then you'll have a night or two of "set backs" where she'll be fighting again, but really within 5 days or so she should get the message. But at 15 months she doesn't need to be feeding during the night, and certainly not 10 times! You can still take her into bed in the morning for nursing, just set yourself a limit - like if she goes down at 7:30 decide what time is acceptable "morning" for you (it could be 4:30/5:00) and that you'll nurse her again. I know I was in that cycle for a while - she'd come to bed with me at 4:30, but at least she'd go back to sleep til about 7:30, and I had the bed to myself at night at least. Just try and take things in steps. Wean her from the boob at night first, then the sleeping will fall in to place. She might not sleep straight through for 12 hours (I know mine doesn't!) but at least you won't be up ALL night.... Good luck!!!

All the best,
V.

Is she getting a late nap or a long nap? Maybe shorten the naps.
Is she getting worn out during the day? Some kids have way more energy and need to really burn it off during the day. Stimulation and lots of activity will help. What are your days like?
There are activities at the library that are free. Any activity will wear her out.
I know its exhausting but at that age, but try to kick up the activity. At that age, try to hit the park or with bad weather, even a trip to the store can tire them out. Good luck.

Have you read the sleep book by dr sears? By far the best advice you can get from a professional pediatrician who is also father of eight! Check out askdrsears.com as well. Just to let you know, this behavior is completely normal for a breastfed baby! They need to nurse during the night until a certain age. My toddler just started sleeping longer stretches through the night, and she is 18months. Read dr sears. Good luck

She sounds tough! I'm sure you are both very tired! I had an all night nurser though she didn't go anywhere near 16 times a night! DD was also a baby who was difficult to put down to sleep. Many people do decide to night wean around this age. I didn't. I actually found that my DD started nursing more around 18-19 mos for a few weeks, right before she started talking a lot. There is a reason they nurse so much, she needed to tank up for that development. That said, seems like your baby could do with some help to stop waking so much.

You said you read the No Cry Sleep Solution books, did you commit to implementing her ideas? You really have to be consistent for up to 3 weeks I think. Have you checked out Dr Jay Gordon's night weaning ideas? That may be helpful. http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

Sounds like your DD is overtired. When is she napping? I know people have said make sure she stops by 6 but wow, that seems so late to me. I'd make sure she isn't sleeping any later than 3:30 or 4. What time are you starting the night routine? Move it up so lights out is around 7/7:30 (I know this can be challenging if your DH is working, but you may just need to adjust). Once they get overtired the adrenaline kicks in and it's party time.

Is she getting outside time? That was really helpful for DD. What about screen time? If you do TV, you may want to cut that out, or if at all only do it first thing in the morning or something.

Have you considered food intolerances? Many babies and children who have sleep issues have them because of intolerances. Gluten, dairy, the other big allergens, and colors and chemicals in prepared foods can be an issue for some even if they aren't allergic to them. It can really contribute to behavior and sleep issues.

Do you cosleep? Do you use some sort of white noise? Have you tried some sort of music as a cue that it is going to bed time? How is your routine all day? If the daytime flow is pretty consistent that can be helpful.

Have you tried tanking her up with a bunch of nursings in the late afternoon/early evening before bedtime? What is she eating for supper? Make sure it's some protein and complex carb, rather than a bunch of white pasta or something that will cause a big sugar dip.

When she does wake up, try to keep your cool. If you are anxious (as I am sure you are) she will pick up on that and it will exacerbate the problem. If she wants to play, try to be as calm as possible and just not engage, don't talk, keep laying her back down and be as boring as possible. Offer water instead of nursing (not for all the nursing maybe, do it gradually).

Try not to talk to your friends who have good sleepers or your mother or whoever about it, it will just make you more anxious.Pedis are little help too. They are good for medical advice but generally know nothing about parenting stuff other than what they or their wife did. As another poster suggested, check out what Dr. Sears has to say about sleep, see if you have a local API or LLL group around so you can talk with other moms who nurse and don't CIO. And try to remember that you'll get there. I'm on the other side of it now, DD is 3. I remember feeling like I'd never sleep. You'll get there! Good luck.

I second checking out Dr. Sears baby and toddler sleep book. And while you can expect some tears while sleep training (and yes, you have to teach a baby to sleep they don't just know how) I don't believe you should ever just leave a baby to cry the way that is recommended in the Ferber method.

Is your baby napping? If not that is probably a huge part of the problem. An over-tired baby will be wired and have great difficulty winding down.

You say she has no bedtime. That's another huge problem. She has no real routine then. Babies need a strong and consistent routine that they can rely upon. It provides comfort and structure in this world that they are trying to figure out. It took me 6 solid weeks of literally doing and saying exactly the same things to get my son to learn about nighttime sleep. Once we did that and got his nap routine under control and he was napping the nighttime fell into place and he would sleep 10-13 hours. My daughter is not quite that good but she does ok (all babies are different!).

Also, don't rush to nurse everytime she wakes at night. And don't rush in with every peep. Both of mine would wail for about 30 sec to a minute and then put themselves right back to sleep. I figured this out when I didn't rush right in one night and boom my son was back to sleep.

Okay my suggestion first is stop offering the breast at night (I assuming you are breast feeding b/c you said she nurses) at night when she wakes give her water it will break her from wanting to nurse during the night bc she wont be interested in drinking water during the night.

Second I would think she would need more sleep so an earlier bedtime wouldnt be a bad thing.

my daughter is 14 months old and she gets her bath, brushes her teeth then goes down for the night. She is completely on whole milk now since she was a year old. She goes to bed around 8pm and wakes at 7am.

She's 15m old. So does she take a sippy cup? Feeding that many times a night seems to be alot. Perhaps she's just thirsty?

Try placing a sippy cup of water in her crib. Then when she's thirsty she can help herself. Do you run a humidifier in the room? Maybe its too dry and its making her thirsty?

As for bedtime, you don't say when her last nap is. For our daughter the key time is 6p. If she sleeps past 6p during her nap, she WILL be up ALL night. If we wake her up by 530-6p, she'll go down at 10p will little fight.

The nursing should be stopped.

At 15 months she should not be nursing as mush as she does per day, PLUS the night nursing should not go past 4 p.m.
Also bath time IS play time in their minds, so if you make bath time before dinner time she will be tired from eating and not wide awake from playing.

She is awake and hyper because she knows she'll get her way. It is time for you to realize that she is not keeping you up, you are keeping her up.

The "cry it out" is not an option will ruin your sanity as well as your Marriage. Do you both agree of this? Because most men will agree to let the child cry it out just as Mothers of the past did.
This is not a cruel method it is a realistic and true coping method.

Any GREAT Pediatrician, will tell you this as well.

Good Luck.

I was heading down the same road with my little one

First get up with her no later that 10am if she takes a nap it needs to last no longer than 2 1/2 hours and not past 6:00pm

Second you need to feed her on a schedual durning the day bump up her bottles by on ounce or two and feed her every 3-4 5-6 hours what ever it is you feed but you have to do it on time

Third her last bottle put cereal in it this gives the filling of begin extra full

Fourth an hour or two before bed calm every thing down curl up with her in a dim room watch some low tuned tv speak softly just give her the since of calmness you can even get some lavender smelling candles ext. that stimulates the babys brain into feeling sleppy

the first night she may not be to into all of this it may take a fews days to a week of two but day by day she will get used to this and it will work i promise but you have to be constant with it but once she has picked up on it this will become her natural rithym and she will start doing this all one her own

good luck i hope this helps

Boy do I feel your pain. My son was never a good sleeper AND we've co-slept since his birth.

What I've found to be helpful is lying down with your child and making sure they are totally asleep...then sneak out of the room...or keep them in bed with you...whichever you find easier.

Regarding her eating at night, I see nothing wrong with that. My son ate throughout the night until he was 2 and a half. If you're fine with it, then don't let people tell you it's wrong. I believe when kids are hungry, you feed them. Period. :)

If it takes a couple nights of co-sleeping for everyone in the house to catch some z's then so be it. Sleep is precious for parents and babies.

Good luck.

http://www.thewritersnotion.com

I sleep trained my daughter at 15 months using the book "Sleeping thru the night" by Jodi Mindell.