Single Mother Once Again

I know this must be a very difficult time for you, especially with one on the way next month. If you were anything like me, my hormones were crazy when I was pregnant, and I knew I would be doing it alone. The transition is going to be hard- there's no doubt about that. Also because I know for me, I always thought he would be there forever and when he said he wouldn't be, my world came crashing down. I know this is going to be a hard road for you for now but there's no doubt it my mind you can do it. Do you have any support near you? As far as what to tell your boys, I agree with what was said before: Tell them daddy loves them. Has he been involved with the children since he left? Tell them that although you both love them that mommy and daddy are not getting along right now but it has no reflection on how either of you feel about them. I've met some phenomenal women in my day and many of them were single mothers. There's no doubt in my mind that in the end, you will prevail. I wish you all the luck in the world. Feel free to send me a message if you need some additional support. Good luck

Hi there,

I know what you are going through. I have gone through this and am going through it now again. I understand what a difficult time this is, especially with the holidays. You didn't say if you had any family close by, but I am hopeful that you do. It is a very difficult time, but you will come through it. Remember to be happy with yourself and for your children - that always you come first. I have found over a long and difficult marriage that I put myself last and it took me a while to find out that all I really needed was me. If I was happy with me and who I was, then the rest of my life would flow, which is does now. Consider yourself having a new friend and don't hesitate to reach out to those who care.

You can do it!!!! It will be hard, but we are women, we can do ANYTHING!!!!!!

Maybe get a calendar and write on it the things that have to be done, and keep that as your list. I have a friend that plans her meals for the week, a week in advance. That has helped her greatly since her husband left her.

Good luck and keep your chin up!

Wow, you have your hands full.I didnt look to see where you were from, but if you are in need of anything, there are plenty of places to help you.I see that one of your sons is 4yrs old, but how old is the second? I honestly, as hard as it may be to keep up with, just do it!Take out the trash, laundry, car starting, I mean just do it!You need to show not only yourself that you can do it, but him(EX).I really do not know advice to tell you, but I would say to et involved in a single moms group of some sort.Best of luck

P. my best advice to you is have faith in yourself. I am a recently single mom since Aug. I have 2 boys and 1 daughter. Ages 3,6, and 9. Initially they do ask about their dad all the time, be honest with them as much as possible, eventually it does tone down a little. As far as all the stuff he did, you can do it too, believe in yourself....once you do it, you will feel so much better about yourself too. I have learned to unclog drains, change full outlets all by myself, and when I am done I feel accomplished. My house is much cleaner, and I'm the mother I always wanted to be. I enjoy the moments with my kids much more, as before I was just in a routine, now I know it's only me and they depend on me and it's up to me to make their life as happy as possible. I think they feel the difference too as I get alot more appreciation from them. Hang in there it does get better. The road is rocky, I won't lie, I have my breakdowns when I cry, but I get right back up on my feet again. There are times my ex creates havoc for me but I'm learning to let him go as well. I work full time also, so I know it's draining on you as well. Make sure you take time for yourself, maybe once a month, get someone to watch your kids and just go out with girlfriends, you won't believe what a difference it makes. When you feel good about you, and had some me time, it makes a big difference the following weeks when dealing with your children. Believe me they know the difference. When your happy they are happy. That is ultimately what our kids want is for their parents to be happy.

Hi P.. I am new to this site and your message has caught my eye. I am a single mother of 3 great kids. When I decided to leave my husband I had no career and no money to support my family. I knew that I had to leave him though. After the decision was made I started a day care in my home and am in the process of getting a state license for it. This will keep me close to my kids and close to home all the time. I also have a great friend who is always there when I need to vent....lol. Always have faith in yourself. You can do this. Be honest with your children. Answer their questions honestly, but don't give more details than what are needed. They will apreciate that later....Trust me!

I know that story all too well. I was with my husband for 9 years (ex now) but we seperated 3 times and thought that would help. I finally filed for divorce and am a mom of 4!! It gets hard every now and then but just remember God will not give you anything you cant handle-I live by that motto everyday. My 6 yr old always asks when is her dad coming home again, its hard for them to understand but I just try to explain in the simplest way that daddy doesn't live here anymore and I try to involve her in alot of things with me just so she doesn't miss him as much (I try but the conversation will still come up every now and then). Honey, Im only 31 and if I can handle 4 you can do 3. Just try to keep your head up, there is nothing wrong with being single (u just got rid of the 4th kid LOL). Take everything day by day, it will all work out in the end it may not seem like it but it does.

You did'nt say if you married this guy or not...And is this the second or third time this happened?? You need to get yourself togehter. Stop thinking you need someone. Make your kids the most important people in your life now and get your life together. Make sure they see their father on a regular basis. If that doest happen...You may have an brother,father or uncle who may want to spend some time with the boys. They need a male influence in their life right now.. Be strong and make a better life for your kids!! Stay single until your children get older. It is hard enough for them that they come form a broken home. Make the best of your life with them. They have to come first...Remember that always.Good luck and my God be with you and your family.