Silly Question-Do You Let the Parents Make the Childrens Plates FIRST @ Parties?

Every year we attend different parties for my husbands work, and they parents with kids are always asked to go first through the food line, it just makes things easier for everyone.

I let the parents with small kids know first that the food is ready and give them about 5m to get things started, but I don't make the line wait for them to go first. If I mention it and the parents dawdle, then its on them.

Whenever we go to parties/ get togethers with friends/ family it's always been the kids get settled first and then the adults take care of themselves. It's never been said or anything- it just kinda naturally happens that way. It's too hard and chaotic to balance plates and get what the kids want and make little ones wait in line.

When I host a party, kids go first. Same with most of my family. Generally, the host(ess) will go around to the parents and tell them individually that the food is ready and to get the kids plates ready. We don't get our plates, just the kids plates. After the kid are settled, everyone else is called in.

We try to accomodate the small children whenever possible - it helps make a more enjoyable time for everyone else. And let's face it - they're going primarily for the meatballs, mac & cheese and chicken fingers - it's not like they're going to take all the filet mignon and baby greens mixed salad. The adults can't wait - what 5 minutes? Could be that the last few parties you went to the hosts jsut didn't think ahead. When your kids are small you're jsut happy to be able to get the house cleaned and host a party, let alone think of all the details. You can always gently suggest it as dinner appears to get ready: "shall I sugest that dishes for the little ones be made now?"

There is no such thing as a silly question! I doubt that this situation is dealt with on an etiquette level. I suggest that letting the parents with little kids go first is helpful and now that I've read your question I would do so. Perhaps, at the next party, you could make the suggestion to do so, to the host/hostess. Be diplomatic. Explain just as you have here.

I'm all for practical. As a young adult I was concerned about etiquette. As a grandma, I look back and see that most of etiquette used in my circle was based on what worked. As a grandma, I'm rarely concerned about etiquette. I focus on what works and do that.

yeah, little kids pretty much always go first, sooo much easier that way.

We have a huge family (12 adults and 11 kids) and we always do kids plates first at holidays and our parties. It's just easier that way.

Yes. We call kids in, get their food then get our own. My sister usually sits at the kids' table, she has never minded.
It keeps kids away from the food whiel adults are trying to get some and keeps them quiet. We do say grace before anyone gets food though.

My mom hosts lots of parties and get togethers. In all her parties and in any party I've ever been to, I have never heard of nor seen the parents get their kid's food before all are called to come eat. Often, the parent will go thru the line and get the kid's plate, then set them down to eat at the kids' table, then go back in line for themselves. This has worked fine for us, but perhaps our parties are smaller, so the line doesn't take that long.

Sometimes, when there are long lines, I'll go thru the line, get two plates, keep them stacked together and PILE food only on my plate. Then go set my son down (2.5 yrs) and make him his own plate off of mine. My husband will make his plate and sometimes I'll tell him to get me extra this or that when he goes thru the line.

We always allow the parents get their children's plate first.

Depending on what you have for the adults, I've told the crowd that the kids' food is on the kitchen counter along with the kids drinks and plates. Then there is no confusion with who gets what. The kids parents can serve the kids and if they want kids' food they can serve themselves from the kids table.

The last time I did this, I had steaks for the adults and chicken and hot dogs for the kids. The adults got sparkling apple cider and the kids got Capri Sun. There was enough for everyone and some of the adults preferred chicken.

It worked just fine. Good luck to you and yours.

Yeah, we have A LOT of kids at our family get togethers, dont even want to guess a number but min 8 and that is only immediate ... I have the youngest currently (4) and the rest are all able to make thier own plates except they are too short to reach the counter! So here is how it works
1. My sons
2. Grandma/Grandpa's plate
3. Kids who are older but can not reach's plates
4. Stampede!!!
So often I make one plate for me and my son to eat off of, then if I still want more of something just before the stampede i tell SO to get it for me and the baby. Works everytime! But really I think this is the best way to go about doing it at parties.

I've ALWAYS let the parents get the kids plates first. I'm usually the last one to get food... And because of that... Sometimes I get none. But I know my children are fed as well as the other children. And yes, there are some very rude parents that will feed themselves before all kids get their plates.

That is so thoughtful. I wish other people thought to let the kids' plates go first. I hate either juggling, or having to wait in the full line twice. Most of the time, I just get my plate with a bunch of stuff for my son....who usually eats all the good stuff and leave me with the rest.

In my experience, it isn't usually done. I am usually one of the last getting my son set up and the adults are already eating, and sometimes done by the time I get to start. I think I is a very polite thing to do for both the parents and the non-parents, really.

Personally, I always make the child's plate first, and at a party, yes, I call in the moms and have them get the child's plate and get the children settled before the rest come in. It makes it so much easier for everyone if the children are already settled. I even do that at home in the evening for dinner. Although we all sit at the table and eat together, we fill our plates at the stove and I always have the children make their plates first. My mother taught me that the children always eat first. not because it's easier, just that children should be nourished first and take as much as they want and will eat. It makes me crazy to see a parent eating before the child!

Your idea seems very organized. I've always been in the juggle it up line tho.. haha.

Oh wow, I've never been to a party where that was done - it would be GREAT though!

Hi Momma-
I am not sure what proper etiquette is, but every party, lunch, or dinner that I have been to with kids, they are never put at the front of the line intentionally. I usually wait for parents with little ones because they can get really fussy when they are hungry and I would rather see smiling babies around. =) That being said, I know that alot of people don't think that way and just get in line as they do, no particular order.
I do not think you should be offended that they don't let parents with little ones go first, HOWEVER, I do think it's perfectly fine to take your time and get what you need without feeling like you need to be rushed. It's the same way with the grocery store line. Put your groceries in your cart, put your money and receipt away, make sure your kids are in their place, get your keys out, and then move on. I have mine down pretty quick, but I don't allow people to rush me out of the way. For one, it's not safe to walk out with all your things just flailing about and your kids being dragged behind you (metaphorically speaking), and 2 -- it's rude of the person behind you to not give you the space they will expect from the person behind them.
Anyway, I digress.
I will say that I prefer the little ones to be fed up front. Their parents will probably have to go through the line again for themselves anyway, and there is no reason to create a situation for unhappy little ones.
I hope that helps.
-E. M

It only makes sense to get the children settled first, because that allows a more pleasant experience for the adults too.
You may want to consider making a polite suggestion to the host of the party ahead of time. Say something like, "are you planning to have the parents make their children's plates first? It would make things go a lot smoother in line for the rest of the adults." Even though, as a parent, you are probably more interested in making it easier for your child, it's usually better to word such a request as if in the interest of the adults present.

I've never really heard that before. I've been to different events, depending on what it is..sometimes the party host has food separated for the kids from adults. Wherever my husband and I go...we usually have this 'tag team" and team work my husband and I do.

We always try to get the kids fed first....because they'll be cranky. We always try to get their food first OR my husband or myself will go through the food line and fill the plate up and feed the children from there. Or my husband will take one child with him and they get their food together and once they come back --I'll go with a child to get food.

But that would be nice to have the kids eat first, but cutting in line...never seen that or never did that.

I like to get my son's food at the same time as my own. I usually just get extra on my plate for my son (and then usually transfer some to his plate.) He's 2 and won't sit still long. So, I can't really set him down with his food and then get back in line without him to serve up myself. He probably would have broken something in the house by the time I got back.
I still think it' still nice to let the parents of kids go first. I wouldn't necessarily tell them that they couldn't get food for themselves as well though. I think it depends on the ages of the children as to whether it saves them a headache. It sounds like it could work great for parents of older kids. And, like you said, it's not that big a deal. Do it as you like!

The simple answer is that you can ask the hotess if you can do this for your children and explain why or you bring a tray of somekind to balance things on. I have 5 children and when young that is what we did.
Each hostess will do it thier own prefered way. I am an event planner and having done 200 weddings many with children I can say that I have never seen them have children/parents, come thru first in a buffet line. A great question by the way!