Proper Etiquette When Eating at Parties

When I host a pizza party, I plan 1 pizza per family of 4 if the kids are younger. If it is a bigger family or a family with teens, I by 2 pizzas per family. Personally when I attend a pizza party, my kids start with 1 slice and usually have seconds, my husband and I start with 2 slices and he goes back for seconds. I don't think there is anything wrong with eating seconds and thirds if it is there. I hate it when people come to my parties and barely eat anything!

I always told my kids the first time through the line, just take a couple of slices of pizza (or whatever), or 2-3 cookies....

After everyone else has gone through, then go back for seconds. That way everyone has a chance to get the good items, and not just what is left over.

I feel that is just the polite thing to do...

If you come to my house and there is food you better eat up! I am an over planner...there is always too much food. If I can't afford to feed the army I invite I make the party at a time where just cake/ice cream can be the only thing expected!

If the food is there and there was plenty then no it's not rude, I would expect you to eat until you were full. If I ever found out a person left my house after a party and was still hungry I would be the one embarrassed.

... in our neck of the woods, eating at parties is to be enjoyed...and there is always plenty of food. So what about quotas. The family always orders more than enough for everyone... AND the Host will actually tell everyone, to go ahead and to eat more. Because, they don't want to have tons of leftovers to then take home and they don't have room in their fridge.
OR, if there are leftovers, the Host makes take home plates for EVERYONE, with the food & leftovers, for the guests to then take home.
Again, because the Host does not want to take all the left overs home, and then there is no room at home for it in their fridge. Then, that will be money AND food... wasted.

But sure, if you are at a party in which there is hardly any food, then common sense is, to politely not take too much and hold back.
Not everyone, can properly gauge, how much food to order.
Or they are on a budget.

But per the party you attended and describe, there WAS plenty of food.
So, to me, its fine if your Husband and daughter ate more.
Why not.
Again, in my neck of the woods, people EAT at the parties. They eat. There is ample food. And the Hosts TELL the guests, to eat and not hold back.
In fact, if there are leftovers... that is seen as people didn't like the food.
And then that is rude.

Sure, and my kids/my family or anyone, is usually taught about politely taking not much food. If there is hardly enough food at a party. But then they can have seconds, too. Once everyone has gotten their plates.

I think its perfectly appropriate to teach you kids to take a reasonable portion of food, say a slice or two is pizza in this case, when it it first served. However, once everyone has been served and it is clear there is plenty, I don't see any problem with having seconds or even thirds if there is enough. I would hate to think my guests had left hungry rather than eating the food I provided. I'm frankly shocked at how many people told you your family was rude. I would never count how many slices my guests were eating, I think what is rude is not providing enough so everyone gets what they need.

I rolled my eyes at a number of the rude responses that you got. Your specific question about whether you were too rigid was not answered.

I for one, cannot stand when people show up at our parties and not eat. Then I get left with 4 extra pizzas! I think it is rude to show up to something you were invited to and say "Oh we're stuffed, we just ate". You knew there was going to be food served, why did you eat first? Anyway, I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with your family eating the pizza., That is why they family bought it! Not to have a ton left to waste!

We do not go to a party hungry. We don't go to parties to stuff our faces, we go to spend time with friends, etc.

Your family ate more than an entire pizza! I personally think that was excessive.

As a petite adult, I can barely eat 1 piece of pizza when we go to our favorite pizzeria. I can't see how a child can possibly eat 4 pieces of pizza. Moderation maybe??

When I host a party, I have plenty of food and I hope people eat but if I were to witness 1 family scarfing down food like they'd never eaten before, I'd probably send all my leftovers home with them to make sure they had food for a couple days.

I believe this was poor etiquette.

No sense in worrying now, the food is eaten. Just don't go to a party hungry next time.

While I agree, as a general rule, that it's not right to pig out at your host's expense, if there were leftovers then it's probably ok. I know I throw pizza parties for my kids (now teens) and I'd much rather have everyone eat the potential leftovers than deal with it at home.

So, the 2 slices/1piece of cake at first rule is good. If there are leftovers, then I think another few slices are fine. Same with the cake. Perhaps you and your husband can compromise by teaching your children a nice way to ask the host, "There seem to be leftovers. Mind if I have another piece/slice/fill-in-the-blank?"

Good luck!

It's a party, you're supposed to have a good time! If you can't enjoy plenty of pizza at a pizza party, then when can you? I like your idea of moderation if the host has not seen fit to provide plenty for everyone (poor form if you ask me), but once everyone's had a go, then go for it!

i don't know how this can be considered rude!!!

When we host a party - there is enough food for an Army - I EXPECT you to eat, be merry and leave STUFFED!!!

If there was enough food to go around and everyone had had a slice or two - go back for more - SO NOT RUDE...not in my book.

When we have a party at a pool or a park - I DO NOT like to bring food home - so PLEASE eat to your heart's content!!!

Wow. I never new there were people counting slices! Maybe because Im usually begging my kids to eat more at parties. They are usually too busy and end up eating barely anything. I too am usually busy chasing them around which leaves my husband to eat as much as he wants I guess! ;) Ive just never heard of counting/limiting food for kids at a party. When we host, we usually host with the intention of trying to stuff our guests (must be the Italian in us!) and we hope that people eat a ton and sometimes we even send leftovers with them if we can. "Mangia, Mangia!"

If there was "more than enough" then I don't see a problem. When I host parties, I hate to be stuck with a ton of leftover food. I'd almost be offended if I was throwing a PIZZA party and I knew guests purposely ate beforehand or after they left my house. If I'd only had finger foods, then it's a different story.

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i am just astounded by the ammount of people saying you and your family are rude. that is just ridiculous!!!!!! if I have a party I expect people to eat. I dont know how hungry some people are, so I make sure to have plenty of food. I am still just completely set back that people actually think your family is rude for eating. what, are you supposed to go hungry? you were not rude, if there was extra and everyone had eaten why not go back for more? I agree with having your kids just have a slice or two at first to make sure there is plenty for everyone, but once everyone has eaten if there is more and they arent packing it up, then they should be allowed to go for more. I would hate to have a lot of leftovers to clean up and find a place for. we are always sending extra's home, i would have loved to have ya'll at my house!

Wow, settle down judging Judys! Those of you who think 13 pieces of pizza is excessive have no idea what type of pizza she's even talking about. 13 pieces of deep dish Giordano's is one thing, but 13 of the small square cut super thin pizza? Shoot, I could eat that by myself, and I'm a very average sized woman, not overweight. And if that's the type of pizza, 13 of those little slices does not constitute an entire pizza-- but if it did, it's pretty normal for an entire family to eat an entire pizza, is it not? Sorry, I digress, but I had to address that. Yes your hubby should have backed you up and led by example because it had been previously discussed. But don't worry about it at all. You are supposed to come hungry to parties when they are held at meal times and there is a meal offered. I agree with another poster that my feelings would be hurt if I knew people had purposely eaten just before or after one of our parties.

Since when do "opinion" & "judge" mean the same thing? The OP asked, and people answered.

OP, no, you were not too rigid. Your DH was too lax, iMO.

When it's a kid's party, I eat minimally. My feeling is that the party is for the kids, not the parents, and I know how expensive it is to put on a party. I wouldn't want the party parents stressing or going broke to feed everyone.

To be honest, your DD & DH were very greedy. I would've taken a slice of pizza, only after the kids had eaten, and after I was sure there was extra. DD would've eaten MAYBE 2 slices. No one in my family would've eaten 4 or 5 pieces of pizza, we just wouldn't have. That equaled to about one pizza JUST for your family. What if there were guests that couldn't make it until later? What if a kid was hungry a couple hours later?

Just because it's there doesn't mean you have to be greedy about it. You don't need to stuff yourself silly just because it's free. Kind of reminds me of George Costanza from Seinfeld.

So in total your family ate 13 pieces! I'm sorry if I sound rude. There was absolutely nothing wrong with your eating just one piece, but I think that what the rest of your family ate was excessive...especially your husband.

And, no, you were not too rigid.

If I have too much left over, I would prefer the guests eat it. I don't like thinking I wasted that much money on food no one ate. So, I don't see anything wrong with it.

If it was clear everyone else had eaten I don't see the problem. I would be glad to have the pizza eaten up personally! If you have given your children instructions then I think it is ok that they ate more, but they should have asked, regardless of what their dad did. They are kids not adults. If I told my son to have x number of something I would expect him to ask before getting more and then if I checked that everyone had been fed, I would probably say ok.

If everyone else had been served (and they weren't all just getting one slice each) then I would think it was fine to get another slice. But I wouldn't think that loading up your plate with 2 or more at a time (the 2nd time around) would be the polite way to approach it. I do think that 5 slices by your husband was a bit excessive, unless the hosts were saying "eat up!", nobody else was going back for more, and/or there were stacks of left overs sitting around.

Generally, if you've got a bunch of kids at a pool party situation, they all swim as much as they can at first. Work up a good appetite, then food arrives: they munch down a couple of slices in a hurry, and the moment somebody is back in the pool, so are all the rest--whether they were done eating or not. Over the course of the next hour, you'll get several who will be back out of the pool grazing b/c they didn't get enough to eat earlier. And often, there will be a kid or two who really didn't eat anything and doesn't notice until he is out of the pool getting ready to go home, THEN he'll be looking for a couple slices of pizza.

If hubby had a couple of slices, then waited a while, and saw that there was still a ton left, and then had another couple slices, then that was probably fine. If, on the other hand, he had 2, others were still eating their first serving, and he went back for 3 more immediately, then I would say he jumped the gun a little. Probably your hosts didn't care, but it would have made ME (as his wife) feel a little embarrassed that he didn't act with a little more 'couth'. But that's just me. I'm getting the feeling that maybe you felt that way too, else why would you have posted? ;)

I feel like it's is a matter of portion control. I can't see a 10 needing 4 slices of pizza at one sitting. AND this was lunch with cake for dessert. It think it would depend ALOT on how well you knew the family and other guests and if they were all consuming this much.

Personally, i try to plan so that there is enough for everyone but not a ton left over. I wouldn't throw the leftovers out, but my family would definately eat it for dinner or maybe i would send leftovers home with family members. I wouldn't expect people to just sit around pigging out.

As far as hubby goes, it probably isn't worth it to make a big deal about it if all the guests were eating like that, but if you were getting some looks or everyone else was content with their one slice be sure to feed him before you take him some place next time. I know i always try to make my hubby a sandwich before we go shopping, if i leave it up to him he skip breakfast and lunch and then go to the store with us and be a grouch and buy wayyy to much. Men!

I think it is ok, since they DID have leftovers. I am always so disappointed that our guests don't eat more--we are always certain to buy enough so no one would feel the need to leave hungry, but we ALWAYS have a TON of leftovers. Sounds like there was adequate pizza. 5 slices for a grown man is far from gluttony.

I base it first and foremost on the attitude of the host/hostess and secondly, on how late in the party it is. If it's obvious that the eating has stopped in favor of playing, there is a lot of food left over, and the hostess is begging people to take more so she doesn't end up with five large pizzas and a mountain of cake, it's fine for those who care to eat more to eat more IF they are being polite about it.

I don't think it was rude at all. I'm not sure what the proper ettiquette would be. Common sense would be to start off with 2 slices. After everyone has had some, if your still hungry, I say help yourselves.

I don't expect to eat when I attend a child's birthday party. I make sure we all eat ahead of time. If it's a bbq or a dinner party, you eat, otherwise go through the drive through on the way to the party.

The person who gives the party needs to provide enough and more for hungry children and adults to eat. You can buy huge pizzas here in Memphis for $5 each at Little Ceasars, probably anywhere. Swimming makes people hungrier. It is up to the host to have enough food.
If there isn't, then quietly remind your own child about your own rules. Your rules for your child do not apply to your husband. He's grown. It isn't undermining, I don't think. A child should learn children rules are not the same as their parents or other adults...or other children sometimes, for that matter.
She should have asked you, but just followed what daddy did. Tell her about the rules being different for her and for anyone else, esp adults. She is the child. He isn't. Obviously there was enough.
If there were leftovers, how could it be rude? I threw a pizza party for my granddaughter when she visited and begged guests to take pizza home. I am a child care professional and I used to be a professional caterer so feel confident on what I've said.

If all the kids had eaten I would not say a word if the parents took the rest and are every bite. But if there was even one kid who wanted more and didn't get it because some adult couldn't control their mouth then I would be mad. Otherwise it's there for the eating.

If everybody else had eaten some pizza and there was plenty leftover, then I would say that no - that wasn't rude. But if some people had not eaten any yet and they were running low - then yes it would be rude.

I would not say anything at the party. If you think that they were running out and it was rude, then you can talk to your husband and kids after the party to learn for next time.

If there was plenty of pizza and everybody had eaten some, then yes you were being too rigid. Your rules are great for the first helping. But maybe you can teach your kids that if, after eating their first helping, they see that everyone else has eaten and there is plenty left - they can get another piece.

I think it is very thoughtful of you not to want to overdo it at a party at someone else's expense.

it depends if its someone you dont know that well ya its rude, but if its your best friend and you are always trading meals then go for it!