SIL And BIL Using My Family Name for Baby

you just need to tell them now. not later especially if you are going to use the name. This will give them a chance to change their mind. you need to be upfront with them now!!! (i wouldn't care personally) but know people that are very sensitive to names. Just say, I just wanted to let you know that we have planned for a very long time to name the baby ... such and such. I just wanted to give you a head up in case it changes anything for you.

Totally okay that you want to name him the same. Especially if you have been wanting to for a long time. Its not like you just heard what they wanted to name their kid and were trying to steal it to be spiteful.

I would sit down and have a talk with them to let them know what it means to you and that you are going to be using that name and maybe they will understand and just maybe they will change their minds and find a new name. Just let them know its not out of spite or anything it is just a coincidence.

Do what you would like to do. My husband is Michael. His nephew is named after him. My husband decided when we found out we were having a son that he wanted to also name his son Michael. So, we did. It doesn't matter that the name was already taken. So, use it! On a funny note, his sister is marrying a Michael. So, my other son (my boys are twins) has a twin brother Michael, a dad name Mike, a cousin Mike, and now an uncle Mike.

If she is due before you then would tell them, in confidence, now in case it is a big deal to them and they can change the name that they chose if they want to. Explain exactly what you said here - that it's an important family name to you and one that you have planned on using, that you will still use it even if they also do, that *you* don't mind having first cousins with the same name but that you wanted to give them a head's up in case it does bother them. And then thank them for not sharing this with others as you want to keep it to yourselves until the birth.

We weren't married to the idea of either of our younger sons' names so yeah, I'd be pissed if I picked a random name and then a sibling of DH or I also used the same name right after my child was born, because their secrecy would have stolen from me the knowledge I would have needed to decide whether or not to change my child's name based on that. You don't owe them an apology or and explanation, but you should let them make an informed decision.

FWIW, my cousin named her oldest son the same name as one of my boys who is around the same age and if her next child had been a boy, she would have used the name of my youngest son, also around the same age. So there would have been two sets of brothers with the same names and of similar ages in the same family, which is just odd. Luckily her other child was a girl.

Also, you have to consider what it will be like for these boys to grow up in the same town, in the same schools, with the same name. Yes that happens by chance already, but it will be a pain to be constantly asking "which Bobby Smith?" unless you agree in advance that yours will be Bobby and the cousin will be Rob or something like that. I worked with a girl who had my exact name in high school and we never knew which one of us was on the schedule, etc. so they differentiated us by town.

You should name your child what ever you want. Don't worry if there are cousins with the same name, just means its a great name! :)

As long as you are o.k. with them naming their child knowing you will also be naming your child...I definately would bring it up. If you are going to talk to them on the auspices of trying to convince them to change their choice, I would say to bite the bullet and not bring it up.

If you are o.k. with them continuing to keep the name (obviously you would prefer they don't, but...) - I would pull them aside. Just say that you don't want to cause any family discord, but you have "always had your heart set on naming your first boy ____, to honor your dad and grandfather." Tell them you know they also have chosen the name, and you "just wanted to give them a heads up." Don't ask them if it is alright or how they feel....just tell them in your nicest tone that it is what you and your husband chose, and you hope it will not upset them to have two cousins with the same monniker...at that point they can decide if they want to continue with their choice.

Make sure to be polite and firm and don't offer any options of doing otherwise in case they try to discuss you changing your wish. Just inform them as casually as possible, with your very heartfelt reason for your choice, and let it go.

Here's what I would think about...Is this name an absolute done deal for you? (There's no way you would change your mind about naming your child this family name).
I would simply just tell her most of what you told us. That you...
*don't want to unfluence their decision/upset her (them)
*you feel comfortable having 2 first cousins with the same name, but you aren't sure about their feelings
*You want to know how she feels about it
*The name is significant for you
*You want to pass on the legacy of your fathers and grandfathers name
*You're planning on calling him by the nickname for that name.
Etc....
You have valid points, and if I were your sis in law I would be understanding and want to hear this before I or you deliver.
For me it's not a big deal to have two people with the same name....I mean my name is Jennifer and there are a billion of us walking around. Most of the Jennifer's I have met even have the same middle name (it was a 70's and 80's thing).
The issue would be, for me, if I never knew how strongly you felt about this, and how you're worrying about this.

Name your baby what you want to name your baby. I might inform them you have had this name chosen for some time. It still is your son and he will not be around the other child every day of his life. Heck George Foreman named all his kids George. Who cares.

Name your baby what you want, but I would tell them first. They might not like for their baby to have the same name as yours and I think it is rude to not give them a heads up. They might want to change their name instead and if your baby is born after then you are taking that opportunity away from them.

If I were your SIL and BIL, I would not mind if you explained the situation but if you didn't and them named the baby the same thing we had... I would be P*SSED!

If you ever saw the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding" there is a scene where the father introduces his family to his daughters future in laws. This is My brother Nick, his son Nick his daughter Nikki, my cousin Nick, his wife Nick their kids diane, Nick, Nick and Nikki. It's hysterical. I'm Italian and on my dads side of the family there are 3 first cousins named Giovanni. nicknames Jo, Jo-Jo and Gianni. I see no problem with the same name. I had wanted to name my son Miles. My hubs sister's son is Miles too so hubby said no. I had other favs so it wasn't a big deal. Funny thing I have only seen his sisters family 2wice in 10 years, it would have been no big deal. Name you boy, your fathers name and don't worry about the outcome. Best of luck.

You both can name your baby whatever you want. I wouldnt say anything to them either, what if you never have a boy and they didnt name their baby that for no reason. If they do name their baby your name, then you get pregnant with a boy, just explain to them how important the name is to you. I wouldnt think it was a big deal at all.

Tell them!

At least that way they have the option (even if you think they wont change their minds) of picking a different name and that way they are not surprised by it...I am assuming they will deliver first?

~I would want to know.

A name is a name is a name. Some family's have 8 Patricks in them.. like mine.. because we are Irish. Name your kid what you want. Family will just nickname it out one way or another (little joe and big joe, fat joe and skinny joe, redhaired joe and longneck joe) so they will maintain their individuality. It is not a big deal.

You should name your child whatever you want! But if you are going to use the name, be sure, and than tell them! I would understand if I was your sil, but I would be pissed if you did not give me the option of picking something different when you knew you were going to use the same name. Invite your sil and bil over and talk with them about all of this, but be sure it is the name you want.

My first thought is, that it isn't a big deal. But in thinking that if it were me in that position and I had picked and announced a name, and then my SIL named her child the same name I'd probably be annoyed. I can't rationalize why, I just think it would. My suggestion would be sit with your SIL and explain that you are not trying to hurt feelings and your reason for also using the same name and do it. In all honesty, there are tons of "Joe's" in my husbands family and didn't name our oldest son after his father because there were sooooo many! Good luck and I hope you and your SIL/BIL can laugh about your boys' having the same name!

Name your baby what you want to name him. It obviously means a lot to you and you might deeply regret it if you changed it to accommodate someone else.

My DH's family has two cousins who shared their grampa's name. Nobody thinks twice about it.

But...! I would bite the bullet and let them know about your decision. Remind that it is a family name and that you didn't choose it out of spite or weirdness. Also be clear you are so totally fine with the two cousins having the same name so they do not hafta wonder if you are telling them in the hopes that they change their mind (tho to be honest, I think they might).

I would say there is nothing wrong with naming them the same name, but I wuold actually mention it to them. For this reason only, if it's not a family name for them they may rather change the name then have two cousins with the same name. If it means that much to them as well, then they will keep it. But I went through something similar where I heard my sil and bil had a boys name very close to our top choice. It wasn't a done deal for me, so i actually decided if we did have a boy to do a different boys name. We both ended up having girls, so it didn't matter, but if we did have boys I would've rather have known in advance to give me the option to change the name. I'm sure they will understand where you're coming from since it is a family name for you. Good luck!

.

I really think you should tell them. Yes, they might want to change his name. At least you will be giving them the option to do so before it is too late. If you wait and don't tell them, they will not have that option. Just let them know that you are totally okay with them having the same name, but wanted to give them the option of changing their son's name if they wanted. And, don't expect your son to be called a nickname around family and no other time. That just usually doesn't happen.
Oh, have you considered using that name as your son's middle name instead of first name? That might be the easiest way around it if you won't tell them first.

Well, speaking for myself, I know things bothered me much more when my hormones were raging during pregnancy and after.
I'm NOT saying you don't have a reason to be annoyed and upset. But trust me, 25 years from now, unless you allow it to bother you, you will barely remember why you where so upset and annoyed. At least that was my experience. I remember being upset about something, but can't really tell you why. Now my SIL can remember every wrong, real or perceived, against her and she is not fun to be around.

Our family has an Arthur Brandon and a Michael Arthur. An Alex William then came and Alexandra. The kids really don't care and actually think it's kinda cool they have similar names.

Oh, I think everyone should name their child whatever they want!! Just name your child and let the chips fall baby!! I would, if the name meant that much to me.
oh p.s. fathers and sons have the same name and last name all the time and they seem to do just fine with it :)

You never know how families will pan out. My cousin married a man whose nickname is the same as hers (for example "Terri and Terry") and we just call them both "Terry" and move along. My daughter is named the same name as my nephew's fiancee...AND has the same first name as one of my stepdaughter's cousins. We gave them nicknames. Not to mention all the combinations of "Robert" in our families!

If you both name your sons the same first name, and anyone mentions it, say what you said here - it has deep significance for you and you didn't want to dissuade them from a name they also loved.

Name your child what ever you want to name it. And I don't think its necessary to talk about it in advance. My side of the family has no repeats yet, but I have a very large family & imagine that soon someone will repeat a name.
My hubby's side of the family has multiple repeats. He, his father, his uncle and his cousin in law all have the same first name & go by the same nickname at family functions. My MIL and I have the same name (weird I know, and its not a very common name). He has some female cousins with the same name as well, or variations of the same name (Laura, Lauren). It gets very confusing for me, but none of them have a problem with it.
Good luck.

Yes you can! My oldest brother is named Tom (actually his middle name, but called that from birth) and he was the first grandchild on my Mom's side. Three years later the next grandchild, my Mom's sister's son, was named Thomas! But, they always called him Thomas. So there was a Tom and a Thomas. I never remember it being a big deal!
Don't say anything and when you have your first boy, just name him what you planned. No biggie!

just name your baby whatever you want and tell anyone who doesn't like it to suck on an egg (lol, jk...this is what my mom used to say)...but really, who cares? as long as u can pass down the family name...it should be grat! Good Luck. :)

What's in a name? Everything! This name we choose for our child is everything! With that said, no, you don't have a right to tell SIL and BIL NOT to name their child whatever name they have chosen just as they have no right to accuse you of stealing a name. Name your child whatever you want and your decision is ultimately final. The name you've chosen is not up for discussion, or debate, or ridicule. When I began telling my family what I was naming my children, some family members liked the names...others made their distaste known. Oh well! It's my child.

As for nicknames, I HATE nicknames. I really do. If you are going to call your kid by a nickname, why in the world put so much trouble into finding the perfect name if you are going to botch it up and shorten it or call the child something different? I don't get nicknames. I really do hate them so if you intend to use a nickname, then just name your child the name you intend to call him.

Neither of you owns the name as you said so go ahead and don't feel guilty about naming your son whatever you want. However, in my opinion, I think it would be courteous to let them know now. Just ask them not to share it with anyone.

I would name your child what you want but I would tell them now. They may or may not change their chosen name but at least then they have the option. I would be pissed if someone named their kid the same as one I had chosen knowing it before I named mine and didn't tell me. It doesn't mean i would change my kids name, but I would feel really bad that I was not told and given the option. I know my Mom changed my brother's name because my Aunt named my cousin a similar name that would have had the same nickname. They never talked about it. I think if they had talked about it things would have been different and my Mom could have named my brother what she wanted. I would definitely tell them you plan to name your child the same name and that you are fine with two kids this name but you wanted them to know so they would not be upset when you announced it.

if i were your sil & bil, i would not be happy that you didn't have the courtesy of telling us

My father in law, my husband and some of my husband's first cousins on that side of the family all share the same name. To distinguish them, the other family members just call them by their first and middle name (they each have different middle names). Everybody seems to be good with it including my husband. I actually think that it gives him a sense of family pride, that everyone is so closely connected.

I think you should be able to be able to give you child whatever name you want. Last I checked, no one has a monopoloy on baby names. If you feel comfortable with your SIL and feel that she won't get upset with your choice of choosing the same name, then I would probably be honest about it with her. This really shouldn't be something that would create some kind of conflict.

You should most definitely say something to them if you are 100% going to use the name and at least give them a choice in the matter. If it were ANY other name than a family name i would be 100% on their side but you have the only valid reason there is to "name-steal" Just call them and say that you heard their name and just wanted to let them know that you will be naming your child the same thing as it is a family name. Say that you don't have a problem at all with them both having the same name and you hope they don't either. Honestly-you do need to call them BEFORE they actually use it-as hard as it will be to do. Because if you do not then they WILL have a legitimate gripe against you.

I do not see a problem with it.

Just let them know ASAP of your plans and let them know YOU think there should not be a problem. I am sure you do not have the exact same middle names too. When together just use both their first and middle names.

It is not unusual for cousins to have the same name because they are usually named after other relatives.. In my husbands family there are tons of James.. in my family a ton of Josephs, BUT, there are a few beloved relatives named James on my side and a few Josephs on his side, so it would not have surprised me if SIL or I had picked the same names.

The main family name in our family is Leonard.. you should see the reactions at family reunions of all of the men and children when the name Leonard is called out.

It sounds like a lot of people think you shouldn't ,but in another place it would be downright commonplace for there to be a whole group of cousins named the same name. In Greece, parents are pretty much bound to name their children after their own parents starting on the paternal side and then switching to the maternal side. When my family would visit my mother's side, there was like 5 or 6 "Yianni" cousins:) Confusing sure--but you would be insulting your parents to not name your child after them! Just a little cultural perspective...In our culture names are meant to be some symbol of their child's individuality. Ironically this means children ending up with grossly misspelled names or things that are just plain ridiculous to my ear in the name of uniqueness. JMO on names coming from a diff. culture. I got to grow up with a distinctly old lady name because I was named after my grandmother--a pain as a child that was teased mercilessly about it but I wouldn't have it any other way now. Maybe you should all sit down and chat about it. You seem to have a reasonable position.

i don't think that it would be a big deal if it were a cousin or something, but i think that the big deal with it coming from a BIL and SIL. that's a little closer in the family and could potentially cause confusion, especially since they will be close in age. and if you see them often. if you don't see them often it wouldn't matter so much. i named my daughter braleigh and my cousin (who i don't see much) named her daughter braelyn. her grandmother called the little girl braleigh all the time and would make my cousin mad! my grandfathers middle name was Lanier and i wanted to name my sons middle name lanier but my brother had a boy first and used it. i ended up not using it even though my brother didn't have a problem with it at all. i would sit down with your sil and bil and explain to them why you want to use it. if they know its a family name then it shouldn't be a problem (although people are super funny about baby names) and maybe like you said use a nickname for your son.

I will never understand this idea that parents have some sort of family copyright on their kids' names and that once one kid is given a certain name, other kids in the family can't. My sister and I both gave our daughters the middle name Elizabeth. I certainly didn't get mad at my sister for having similar taste in baby names, and I didn't think she was trying to "steal" my child's name.

Name your baby what you want to name it, you don't need to ask anyone if they would mind, and anyone who doesn't like it needs to cordially invited to sit down and STFU.

Let me just say, I totally understand where you are coming from with the name situation. I love my maiden name, its a unisex name. Because i was last unmarried female with the familly name, I declared to myself that whenever I had my 1st child, he/she would have the name. I never told anyone of this, because I HONESTLY never thought in a million years, anyone in my family would have the same idea. 1 month after I was married, a younger counsin gave birth and I guess you know what she named her daughter..yes, the name I wanted to use. I was never angry about it, but very disappointed, as I would never use the name now. 3 months later, I found out I was pregnant and knew i would no longer use the name I had planned to use. I say this to say, the name we finally decided to name our daughter was perfect and I don't regret not using the family name and you may find yourself picking another perfect name for you son.

who cares! they can both have that name! my best friend also has a cousin (first cousin ) who is a yr younger then him by the same name. if you both like the name you should both be able to use it.

I totally anticipated this being a different question. I'm proud of your stance on this, it's uncommon--so often people are petty about this kind of stuff.
Your decision to name your child should stand independent of anyone in the family. In my family we have a Jon and a John and that was a compromised reached by two in-laws expecting boys with John as a family name. I think something like that is appropriate if you want to have a discussion about it which I think would be fine--you have good reason to want that name and they should understand. If they don't understand, they won't get it no matter what you decide. It's a stick y situation to be sure--if you're in it with the wrong people, that is.

Congrats on the baby!

My dad and his brother share a name so if brothers can so can cousins!

My cousin and I are 6 months apart... She's Kristin and I'm Christina. You could always do a slight variation, or the same name. It's not like they are siblings... just cousins. :)

I would be annoyed REALLY annoyed if my sil and bil named their kid the same as mine. Having the same first and last name can be a problem. It is for my husband friend and his dad. They picked the name for a reason. You should tell them so when your baby comes the family is talking about how cute he is and not how you jacked their sons name. My friends husbands cousin(got that?) named their son the exact name of my friends kid diff last name though but the boys are like 5 years apart and never together. My friend was a little weirded out but really what could she do they talked to them first. You have to atleast tell them what you are planning to do or I think it will be a problem. Good luck

Use the name. Don't lose sleep over it. I really do not think it will present
any problems with the family.

Yes, you should keep the name!!!! Yes, it's important because it is your family name. You are being very nice about not minding if they use it too! It's no one's fault their son's birthday is first. You're not copying them.

I would tell them in advance your plans ABSOLUTELY or it will look like you copied them. Let them know you've always wanted to name a son that since it's your family's name, and you just can't change it. They may wish they had the name all to themselves, but they don't own it.

For our first daughter, we had planned to use my grandmother's old fashioned name, which almost NOBODY used anymore. While I was pregnant, it suddenly became popular again, and 2 celebrities named their babies the name (everyone thought we copied them, they were like, "Oh, like so and so's baby!" And we were like, 'no'.) and a few parents at my old job named their daughters the name (they did admittedly copy the celebs), and then last but not least came my daughter. :( It also happened to be the name of the flower of my daughter's birth month, so I was going around saying, "it's her great grandmother's name and her birth month flower, I didnt' copy an celebs..".Thankfully we don't live near any of those people and it's still pretty rare.

For my son, I had a name I knew since I was a kid I would use for a son, had been telling my friends for years, and one asked me when she was pregnant with a son if she could use it, and I said, "You CAN, but yes, I'll be annoyed, and I'm still using it too." (I was pregnant with a son too but didn't know if it was a girl or boy, and her son was due first. They ended up finding one they liked better . Phew.

Your BIL and SIL MAY just change it when they hear you graciously explain you're not trying to annoy them, but as your family name, you've always planned to use it.

Warn them in advance! Beware, you're being so gracious about sharing the name partly because you feel at the disadvantage knowing they're first. They will feel a bit more self righteous and slighted because they are first. No matter-they don't own it, and you need to use it!

We have a family name in which each first born boy gets as his first name. Middle names are open to whatever. At one point we had 6 guys/boys with the same first name. Though only one uses his first name. The rest go by nicknames or middle names. We have never had an issue with anyone being upset over the use by others in the family.
So I say use it. Odds are they will understand why you are using it and not be upset about it. If they are well they are adults and they can figure out how to be mature and accept the fact that no one owns a name.

I think it would be a courtesy they would appreciate if you told them in advance you plan to use the same name and it is a family name. Obviously you can name your child whatever you want and so can they but it would be nice to let them know in advance.

I was in a very similar with my daughter. I had a close friend that died unexpectedly at 30. This was the same month as my first wedding anniversary and we were trying to start a family. My husband and I decided we would name our daughter after this friend. But we had a son first. He has my husband's middle name as a first name and my father and grandfather's name as a middle name. When I got pregnant with my daughter one of my good friends was also pregnant and due first. She also wanted to name the baby after our friend that died. I don't think she knew my husband and I had decided the same thing some 4 years earlier. So both our daughters are named Sarah but with different middle names. I was actually considering the same middle name (because it is my middle name too) but decided to switch. It was a bit of an annoyance at the time but has worked out pretty well. The girls are 2 and quite cute when playing together since one has brown hair and eyes and the other is blonde with blue eyes and of course their personalities are quite different too. I think as the girls get older they may enjoy sharing a name and a namesake.

I have a second cousin with the same first and last name but different middle names. We only ever met once in person, at a family reunion, but we had a good laugh over it. My husband has a common first name and and an uncommon last name. For a while he had an email list of about 10 or 12 people with the same first and last name. Entertaining but not a big thing.

We have a few Aarons, joesphs, and matts in my family no big deal but I think you should let them know that that's the name you will be using.

Names are a touchy business, but I would not worry. You are not doing this to be spiteful or try and "steal" the name, it was your dad and grandfathers name, what more of a reason do they need? I feel like you have thought this out and I do not see how mentioning it before hand could do anything to help the situation. I did call after I had my son and asked my sister if she would be upset about my sons being named Alexander when she had a daughter named Alexis...but she and I are so close I did not figure it would be an issue and she wasn't upset one way or another ( we had planned the entire pregnancy to name Alex "Luke" it even made it on the First birth certificate, he just did not look like a Luke to me in the hospital, it happens, even with the most beloved names!)
I wish you every happiness with the birth of your son = )

My MIL had a brother who died of cancer in the 60's.
We now have many Sams, boys and girls.
I think it's all good. YOu name your baby wahtever you want to . ANd I agree with the poster that said tell her how you feel, and that you don't want to take away from her baby and his name but it means so much to you.

While you don't have the right to tell them not to use, you should still let them know that you plan on giving the same name to your son and the significance of the name to you.

A good friend of mine has two sons, both of which are named Johnathan. Her sons are from two different relationships. Her husbands name is Johnathan (he goes by Jon) and he wanted to name his son that too. She said she wasn't going to deprive him of the having a "the Third" in his family just because her first son from her first marriage had the same name. Her first son does have a different middle name and last name, of course. And her second son goes by Michael (his middle name) which suits them all fine.

Her family really got after her about it, but it was her & her husbands decision and in the end it's worked well for them. Good luck!

Like Anna Lee mentioned below, it's a pretty common thing in Greek and Italian families to have the same name. My brother and all my cousins on my dad's side of the family have the exact same two names. If they were not named one, they were names the other.

If you are going to have your baby first, I would definitely tell them. i think it would look really bad if you don't want to tell anyone the name and then its almost like a 'haha, beat you, i'm naming my kid that and its done because he's born'. Tell them that you had planned on naming your boy for as long as you can remember and you totally don't mind if they name theirs that too, that your son can have a nickname. If you are having your baby after theirs, they might be annoyed or think it's weird but would probably not be mad at you if you just sprung it on them after teh baby was born, though they may think you were trying to hide it. I would tell them though either way but point out that you don't mind they are naming that too.

I would just tell them. It bothers you.

Gee, this is YOUR family name on YOUR side of the family.
They are in-laws.

Most people, would ask if it is okay first, to use a family name. Which is not their own.

I would just tell them. Diplomatically.
It is your family name. Firstly.

Your Husband... what is he doing about it?

If you then name your son that same name... well are they the types that will get all huffy about it and pout and create family drama?
If so, the nerve.
This is your family name on your side of the family. You want to give your son that name, right? This is your Dad's name. And your GrandDad's name.
It is a name, that you dreamed of using with your own first son.
So, I can understand how you feel.

If my i n-laws used my Dad's name to name their kid... I would be, sort of irked. Sure, it may be menial... but it would irk me. Especially if they did not say anything to me first.

I don't see a problem. I would name my child what I wanted regardless of who else used the same name....especially since you don't care if they use it too. As you said, you have wanted to name you son that for a long time and it is a family name for you already (it's not like you are copying them).

You could actually say "Oh, I love that name too. In fact, I love it so much and since it is also my dad's name, it is what I have always planned to name my son, when I have one." You can say it now or after they name their son. Or you could say nothing until your son is born and then say "It's it funny how we both picked the same name for our sons? For me it is a family name after my dad. Good thing they have different middle names!"

Keep in mind that as they grow up, so close in age, the middle name/initial and birthdate and/or socials will become critical to keep them straight.

It's fair to them that you mention it to them. It doesn't have to be a big deal, just let them know that name is important to you and why. Let them know you don't mind if both have the same name and you'd be happy having your son go by a nickname. However, if you bring it up, you should be 100% sure you will name your son that. Good luck.

Hi, D.:

Just ask your SIL if she would be mad if you named your baby boy, ........?
See what she says.
D.

My daughter and her 1st cousin have the same name. It's a name that we liked for a long time and they happen to pick the same name and give it to their daughter 9 months before our daughter was born. We talked about it briefly and they said they could care less. When the cousins are together my daughter goes by her nickname.

I say do what you want. A couple of cousins on my husband's side have boys that share the same name & I don't recall any issues with it. There are also at least 3 girls that share the same middle name. Go for it!

You may name your son whatever you want-and sadly-so can BIL and SIL. -it's probably something to be flattered about-I know sisters who have sons (2 each) by the same first name-I wish I knew the name -it sounds intriguing! Take care-this is a great time for you!

I would talk to them and let them know you are planning on naming your baby the same name and why. Be sure to tell them it is nothing to do with them but just how important it is to you and you don't want them to change the name they have.

If you would have let people know you planned on naming your boy this name, chances are they would not have chosen this name for their boy. I was very vocal in the name I liked for a girl if I ever had one and when my sil was pregnant w/ both her girls she said she would not name her girls that name (even though she loved it) just in case I ever have a girl. Now I'm having my girl, so I can name her that!

On another note, this same thing happened to my mom. When her pregnant sil asked what she was naming the baby, she told her the name and the middle name was going to be his fathers name. well, her baby was born first and she decided to name her baby boy the first name my mom had picked out with his dads middle name. My mom was so ticked because she knew she was just doing it to be nasty (she's not a very nice person) and when my brother was born, my mom said, screw it, I had the name picked out first and went with her original name.

So, there are cousins with the same first and last name but have their fathers middle names. It was never a big deal, because we never saw that family very often and eventually moved out of state. I betcha she went around telling everyone my mom stole her name she had picked out! I was proud my mom stuck to her guns because at the time, she usually let people walk on her and that's why my aunt did what she did.

So, just talk to them and I bet they probably won't even think anything of it! Congrats on the baby boy!! Everything will turn out just fine. :)

I'd just say to them, "We are also planning on using that name, since it is my Dad's and Grandfather's. Just wanted to let you know in case that makes you want to change your mind."

Kids often end up getting called something different than what their name is anyway, so I wouldn't worry about it. Congratulations!

My mom has 4 girl cousins named Miriam, and that is her name as well. It was a tradition in my Grandmother's family to name a daughter after your mother. You could mention it if you think it is a big deal, but it doesn't sound like it, especially since it is a family name for you. It is your baby and you get to pick the name you want for him, not the rest of the world. ;)

I don't see anything wrong with it. My brother was named Michael because my mom liked the name then her sister had a son and named him Michael because that is my aunt's husband's name.
I named my son the same name as my first cousin just because we like it and no body had a problem with it.
It is your child and really no one "owns" a name.
I say go with it

Name your baby what you want. It's not that uncommon for people in the same family to have the same name.
I know a family where all the girls have the mom's name for their middle names and they all go by the middle name which can be pretty confusing. I know a woman who named all of her boys after the father with different middle names. Even the girls have feminine forms of his name.
If my son had been a girl, we were going to name him the same first name my husband's cousin named his daughter. Not because we were copy cats, but because that's the name we had always had our heart set on. They knew it, didn't care and we had a boy anyway.
To me, it wouldn't matter if there were 5 people in the family with the same name....YOU are choosing the name for the sentimental significance of it being your dad's name.
I've known people that have gotten really ticked if someone they know uses the same name. I've also known people that have been flattered or completely indifferent about it all together. I don't see why it matters. But that's just me.
If it doesn't bother you, do what you feel is right.
How can someone get mad at you for naming your baby after your dad?
That would be silly.

Best wishes.

I think you should be able to name your baby whatever you want. But if you think that it will cause a big family feud you could always use the name as the middle name. Our son's middle name is my maiden name, but we chose it as a middle name because we didn't like it enough to use for a first name.

Name your baby whatever you want.! If they are upset oh well!! I never shared the names of my children until they were born. Only my parents and sisters knew.

I would use the name if I wanted! Esp if it was a family name on my side!

My brother and my cousin have the same name. Dan. My uncle had a son and named him Dan, they lived in Colorado. My dad then had my brother and named him Dan. We lived in Pennsylvania. They would see each other sometimes, but not often. They (my brother and cousin) both named their sons after themselves. My nephew named his son Dan also. So there are 5 Dan Plegers that I know of. I guess it depends on how the family feels about it. My family was rather large. Mom was one of six, Dad was one of twelve. So repeat names among cousins not a big deal. I also have 20 neices and nephews. Two of whom are named Joshua. They have different last names though. Maybe if you are that worried about your families reaction, you could call your son by his middle name, but his first name would be the same as the cousin. Good luck.