Help with Baby Naming Etiquette!

We had the same problem. My husband wanted to give my daugher his grandmum's name as her middle name. BUT I adored my grandma as well. We bickered about it for some time. Finally she did get two middle names! His main gripe about my grandmum's name was that it was Leona and that was too old world sounding... So we put his grandmum's name first so her middle names are Sarah Leona. I think it's pretty and we always get compliments on her extensive name. Anastasia Sarah Leona...

So maybe you guys could talk about that again. The only time we list both of her middle names is on her birth cert. Everything else we usually only put Sarah. It's not complicated in the slightest contrary to what you would pry think.

I feel very strongly that for a boy, the middle or first name should come from the mother's side. The last name, after all, is from the father's side. For a girl, it would be nice to have a name from each side as well, but with a girl, she may or may not change her name when/if she marries, so for me it didn't seem such a big deal.

Oh A.!
Please use the family names. My 22 year old is named Emily. At the time I wanted her middle name to be Eileen after my mom. My hubby vetoed that, and we gave her the middle name of Christine. We both, now, so regret that decision. Christine has NO meaning, even though is it a beautiful name. The EE initials also would have been neat. Alternate between families on the names. My third daughter was named Annie Patricia after my sister Patricia Ann. Absolutely no regrets there.
By the way, love the name Morgan (first or last). Enjoy.

Your baby- your choice.

Unless they are the ones carrying the child, going throug labor and birth,paying the bills and waking all hours of the night for feeding, diapers and tummyaches then all they get to say is congratulations!

Thats my thought on any realm where your children are concerned.

Congratulations! :)

My daughter's middle name is Suzanne. My mom-in-law's mid name is Sue. My mom's is Ann. Mine is Suzanne. Three birds, one stone. (but she is more named after me, afterall I was the one that gave life to her). My son is named after my grandpa who passed away 13 months before Jack Thomas was born. His last wish for DH and I was for us to have more. He was my true father figure and we were very close.TO name our son after him was easy for both of us. Is this the case for your hubby?
Combine or Compromise but find out how important it is for him to name the family name. You have to consider HUBBY'S feelings too. I understand that your dad is SUPER important and you do not want to hurt him. However your hubby is the father of your baby and his feelings should matter more.

As a person with many family names, allow him to use the name he wants if you pick the first name, and when you have a girl or a second boy, use your family name and allow him to pick the first name. My husbands family had names for both boys and girls, with my daughter we used my family name and if we have a boy next we'll use his, or even if we have a girls we'll use his moms. That was the only way we could settle. It isn't about everybody else, he is your guys baby and you have to do what makes you both happy not your families happy. Hope this helps.

We have two children, and are expecting our third in July.

Baby #1's middle name is my husband's name.
Baby #2's middle name is my mom's name.
Baby #3's middle name will either be his mom or my dad's names.

We just kind of agreed to "switch sides" at each pregnancy, if that makes sense. So, since his side was represented the first time by using his name, we agreed that baby #2 would have a middle name from my side. Baby #3 is either, depending on gender.

So, if you think you may have more children in the future, you can save your dad's name (or mom's or whoever from your side) for that child.

Just an idea. Good Luck!

I'd suggest using Morgan as a first name and your Dad's side as a middle name.

I don't like the two middle names and makes it harder on the child having to write it.

If you'll be having more children you can use your side on for your second child.

We worked it out that I name the girls and he the boys but we both had to be okay with the names. I used my side for both girls and now he doesn't want to try for a boy.

I'd also suggest taking two names and create a new middle name. So if it's Morgan for the one and say, Allen for the other creat something like Allgan or Moreen or something. I combined Rose for my Grandma and lynn for my middle name.

Good luck! Let us know what you decide.

I'm pregnant and due in Oct. We were going through a similar thing. If we are having a girl he wants to name the babies middle name after his mother who passed away and I was like no no my mom passed away too we can't honor one and not the other. Anyways I sorta dislike both of our mothers names so I tried to combine them and make a combo name. Still wasn't thrilled so I put my foot down and said NO we are not naming our baby after anyone sorry honey. My first daughter wasn't named after anyone either.

It sounds like your husband is in charge of the naming process. This needs to be a joint decision. Decide what you are willing to accept and then speak up.

first have you talked to you father about this. my father never really took offense as long as he could promounce the babies first name were you going to use as the babies middle name or first name
is this going to be your only child. to me a child's name has to be something the child is going to be able to live with. your father and mother named you what they thought would a fitting name. I chose a name for my daughter that i thought would fit her but listening to other in my family i ended up giving her a name that thru out her life she tried to vary. with shortening it to added to it. when you and you husband agree on a name give that name to your baby its your choice and the little one is the one that has to live with it.

like i said at first talk to your father maybe he won't like you to use his family name.

did you ask your dad how he feels about it?

In my husband's side of the family the kids all got the middle name of a relative on his side, and when we had our son, we used my dad's name for the middle name. We figured there was enough cousins with his side of the family's names that we could go with my side of the family.

Besides that, most of the family is just happy to be able to see our son often, no matter what we named him :)

Hi A.,
I am a married with two beautiful children. Our daughter,Maia, is 2 1/2 and our son,Grady,is 3 months. Maia Dew is not named after anyone, We just loved the name! Grady is not named for anyone but his middle name, Mathias, was chosen for the name of a town in West Virginia where my husband has family and many special memories. However, if the 2nd would have been a girl we would have had her middle name be Marie after both of our mother's middle names. Anyway, You name your child whatever YOU want! It is YOUR child. We never even told anyone our names until after the births because we didn't want to hear unwanted opinions... All of your friends and family will fall in love with your child no matter what his name:-) Good luck and congratulations!!!!! Motherhood will be the greatest thing you will ever do!

Melissa

I have pretty much the same answer as some others... My husband and I decided I would get to pick the girls names and he would get to pick the boys names, but we have to both like it. We used my grandma's name for the middle name of our daughter, Bijou Rose. My other grandma (who is still living) was not at all offended because she knew I was really close to my grandma who passed away. If our next is a boy, we'll use my husband's grandpa's name as a middle name, Edgar. I think your husband needs to give you a little room to have some opinions, since you are the one carrying this child - even if it is a boy.

If I were in your situation, I would let my husband have his way and have Morgan as the middle name. BUT I would want a bigger say in the first name. Let him know it is important to you that your family is included in the name, but since you are willing to compromise, you want to have more say in the first name.

Oh and I almost forgot... My husband's middle name is a combo middle name for both of his grandpa's Carroll and Edgar - his name is Quinten Cordell. So sometimes the combo middle names work, but your husband may not go for it.

How about using a combonation of the 2 or even using your maiden name as a middle name. Keeping it completely neutral may help as well (not using either family name). The baby naming is difficult. I have been told that you are the one giving birth, so you get the final say...yes that came from a bunch of women. Check out some baby naming websites, they may offer some good ideas.

We didn't know what we were having but my husbands parents thought we should do my madien name as the first name and then my husbands first name as the middle name if we had a boy. It would have been Rost Julian then we could have called him RJ. I said no way....(didn't like it) I wanted my husband and myslef to pick out the name..no one else. We picked out Lily as a girls name but my husband told his mom so then she told everyone our girls name. I said nope to the name Lily.... because it was our first baby and I wanted everyone to be suprised with the sex and name of the baby.. It is very hard and I totally understand. Maybe you could use your madian name as the first name and then his "familIES" name for the middle. Not trying to be selfish either but he will have your husbands/his families last name!!! I am right there with you and feel the same way! Good luck and be strong!!!

I don't know about etiquette but it's YOUR baby, his parents (and yours) have had their turn to name their babies. My husband is a third Paul. Paul August, Paul Albert and Paul Allen. Did I go with the flow? No. I liked BRET DANIEL and used it!
I would try to talk your husband into two middle names. Lots of people do it.

I have 3 children and all were named, in some way, for a family member. I did not have a great dilemma though in naming, but if you are planning on having more children, would the name on your side of the family be appropriate for a boy or girl? My last 2 children have 2 middle names, as do some other children I know. So maybe, if you explained how important it is to you, he might come around. Good luck and congratulations on your upcoming bundle of joy. Motherhood is awesome!

I just had my first baby 2 months ago and went thru this exact thing. We fought for months and months over the baby's name my husband is very traditonal and I am not. We were trying to please our families by incorporating family names in and it just caused more fights, I finally came to the conclusion that it is not about pleasing them it should please them enough to have a grandchild and trust me once the baby is born it won't matter to any of them if the name has significance to them just as long as the baby is healthy and so are you. What i end up doing is making a large list of names with the meanings of them with it (that helps) that i liked and told my husband if he wanted to pick out the middle name then he had to comprimise and pick a name from this list for the first name. We didn't decide the final name till my sons head was crowning. We decided on Axton Isadore which I wanted Axton for something different and Isadore was his Grandpas name everyone loved it and if they didn't they would never say anything because that was his name and they didn't find out till he was born. Thats another thing don't tell anyone your choices they only have opinons. Good luck and remember there is not etiquette on names only that you are happy and your baby is healthy.

Since this is your first, it is reasonable to name the baby after only one parent. We didn't honor our dad's until our 4th child. We used both of their names as middle names. It is a mouthful, but it worked.
In hindsight, we had enough boys not to have to use both names on one kid, lol.
You father will understand, this is your husband's first son, and he has the right to honor his father.
And after that, you should get to honor someone, too.

It's your baby, name it what you want. If people's feelings get hurt they'll get over it.

Pick out a name from your side of the family as well, and put them together. Which ever way it sounds go, go with that. What ever you name your baby for his birth certificate does not mean that what you have to go by. For example, I have friend's that the father is named Ervin Jeffrey, but they call him Jeff, and they named there son Jeffrey Tyler, but call him Tyler. My first daughter I always knew that I wanted my late mother's name (Ann) as a middle name but we were trying to figure out what to go infront of Ann. My husband didn't like the names I was picking out and he didn't have any suggestions, then one day (I was pregnant), his dad said why not Jocelyn (Joselyn) Ann, Jocelyn being my husband's grandmother's name. I liked the name Jocelyn but didn't like it infront of Ann so we ended up naming her Ann Jocelynn. I added another "N" at the end because my middle name is Lynn. So she has her great-grandmother's name from her dad's side, her grandmother's name from her mom's side, and also her mother's name!!!!! Talk to your husband about looking names from your side of the family as well, and join them together!!!!

There is no naming etiquette. You and your husband name your baby what you want to name him. And, do yourselves a favor, and don't tell anybody the name you've chosen until after the baby arrives. People feel free to ctiticize the name of a baby who isn't born yet, but keep their mouths shut if they don't hear it until the birth certificate is signed. As far as your dad goes, talk to him. You'll probably find that he's ok with not having a namesake (especially if this isn't the only grandchild he'll ever have). Then, if you both like the middle name, use it. If you don't, find something you both do like.

It is traditional for the first male child to be named after the father of the babies father. Your dad won't be offended. After all, you may have more boys and can name one after him if you please.

One of the reasons parents these days don't name their kids after their fathers on either side is to avoid feeling forced to have two boys named after their grandparents. That's the issue to think about before you go down that road with your first born.

I've been there :) Will your baby have your husband's family's LAST name? That's a good reason to give the middle name from the mom's family...

L.

I have been there...tell your husband what I told mine. We have taken your last name so he will always have his dad's family's name and his grandfather's name, so forth and so forth. My husband had absolutely nothing to say to that one! Good luck!

We had the same dilemma and compromised my not using ANYONES name for our babies. My hubby liked traditional names too, but since we could not agree I made him go through a baby name book and pick out a bunch of names and we then narrowed down the list together.
The ironic thing is that our kids have unique names and my hubby was the one that found them!
Oh, one more thing. Sometimes it's nice to have a few names picked out and you can choose them in the hospital after you meet your little one.
Congratulations!

Hi.

I don't know if I really have any solutions for you. I have a son who was named after his paternal grandfather and the middle name was my husbands name. Well that totally left out my dad and it wasn't fair. Sooo. We gave my son his paternal grandfather's name William and gave him my dad's first name Howard and my husbands first name John as his middle names and now we shorten his middle name to initials H. J. So his full name is William Howard John-William H.J. for short. So it's kinda like one name. Also my sister has a daughter and when they were coming up with her name, they also wanted to combine his family and her family, so they took the maternal maiden names of each and come up with Kennedy Rose. Maybe another solution would be to use the same first letter as your dad's name or use a spin off of your dad's name. Hope I could help.

Is there any way to morph the names together? My sister did this and came up with a really awesome unique name that is meaningful.
Valter + Sigismund= Valmund they call him Val for short. People always love the name.

Naming your baby is such a special event! Keep in mind that legally (school, driver's license, etc.) your child will be called by his first name. Please don't start calling him by his middle name as that will cause confusion for life. As to choosing the name, it is my belief that mom has the final say! To save argument, try choosing one name from each side of the family. If he wants his family name as middle, you get to choose the first name. Just remember that you are making a lifelong decision.

Are you planning any more children. If so a compromise would be that he gets this one and you get the name for the next. Also there is the option of naming the first name his family and the middle name yours or the other way around. Also talk to your day and ask him how he feels. Let him know that your husband wants the middle name after his side of the family and then let him know that if you ever have another one you will name it after yours. Also your dad is probably to excited about a grandchild to hopefully care too much. Good luck

It is YOUR baby and YOUR decision on what to name him.
You will never be able to please everyone!

A.,

When my sister and her husband had their first of three boys, they picked a first name they both liked, and combined her husband's late father's first name (Donald), and our father's first name (Stanley). And so Jacob Donaley was named. Worked for them. For the other two they used family names, or combinations, on her husbands side; Ethan Tennison and Liam Coridan.

I completely sympathize with you on the naming debate. My husband is a 3rd generation name and wanted our son to be the 4th which I have strong feelings against. So after discussing it together we decided to skip both sides of the family. Thankfully my in-laws weren't too bad about it. If you don't tell anyone the baby's name until after the baby is born people are less likely to say anything unlike if you tell everyone before hand people seem to think they have a say on the name. Also one thing to remember is we hardly use our middle names for anything so if someone is hurt by it it won't be in their face all the time.

Our plan was...
if it was to be a boy we were going to use my husband's middle name, which is also his Dad's middle name.

if it was a girl we were going to use my middle name, which had no ties to the rest of my family...other than it was what my parents picked for me.

We have a girl!

It is tradition in both our families to give the fathers first name as the (first born) sons middle name. That was the only tradition we followed in naming our children, from then on, I wanted both my children to have a name that were strictly their own as I feared that they might think they had something to live up to in being named after a family member.

With my son however, the name we chose as his first name, we found out months after he was born, was also my spouses grandfathers name as well as the name of my cousin who died at a very young age. Both sides of the family thought we had named him to honor the family when in fact, it was done completely by accident.

If you truly want to name your child in a way as to honor the family, try to find a name that both families have and stick with that. Or do as another one of my cousins did, name the childs first name after one family and middle name after the other, then give him a nickname of your choosing for everyone to call him or her by. One other way is to give the child two middle initials and tell the family what those initials stand for (one for one family, one for the other). As long as the families know what the initialed letters stand for, it shouldn't be a problem. Good luck and congratulations!

You could always use one grandfather's name for a first name and the other for the middle name. That's what my parents did for my brother (Patrick Howard) and both grandpas were delighted. Just make sure that it's a name that both you and your husband can agree with, and one that won't get the child teased his entire life.

I think Morgan is a nice middle name. And if you have baby #2, you could name his middle name after your dad, if you feel strongly about it. But I don't think it's TOTALLY necessary if you don't want to either. People understand. But the middle name is a great way to include family. Then you can pick a first name you really like (not family related). Good luck.

Hi A., I have to agree with everyone who said that ultimately, that you and your hubby should jointly be pleased with the baby's name. I also know that since it's such an emotionally charged issue, that perhaps, you should just put it aside for now and try not to think about it. There are so many things to be happy about right now that I wouldn't want you and your hubby to argue for the next remaining months over the baby's name. For the record, I've known parents who've named their babies one name and then ended up changing the names. I've also known parents who didn't choose name until after they baby's was born and they gazed at him/her. They've told me that the name just somehow came to them. Personally, my hubby and I didn't name our baby until day 4 after his birth. To people who asked while pregnant, you can say , "it's a secret and we'll let you know after the baby comes" or "we'll name him/her "baby" and just leave it at that. My hubby, my toddler and I all have different last names so I guess we're a unique family that way.

My daughter has my husbands mom's name as a middle name, and I know my mom is not offended or at all jelious about it. My MIL name is Katherine and my mom's is Glenyce. She always hated having a different name anyway:) Besides, we get to see my family all the time as they all live in MN and My husbands family is all over the states, his parents live in South Carolina. Don't stress about pleasing everyone. I am sure they erally don't care as much as you think about the name. They will love it no matter who he is named after. As for traditional, Morgan is not my idea of traditional. Our boys are named Aaron Michael and Thomas Christopher and daughter is Molly Katherine. Morgan is kind of trendy and may be hard to find a first name that works well with it. Another idea is to use your husbands first name as the first born's middle name. That is the tradition in my family. My husband's name is obviously Michael. My dad is David, so my brother is Todd David. Don't stress about it though. This should be fun, and it's not like you get to pick out names all the time. Enjoy it! And let your husband know how you feel about it. I am sure you can come up with other compromises. Good luck!

This probably won't be any help if your husband is being that difficult, especially since it is a very non-traditional idea but... I had some friends get married and she didn't want to give up her last name, but she also didn't want two last names and loved her man and did not want to hurt his feelings either. So... they united, merged the two last names together. They took the first 3 or 4 letters of his last name and the last 3 or 4 letters of hers and created a a new last name, as they were starting a new life together and honoring both families with the new name. Could the middle name be something like Mor---? Probably not your usual answer so I thought I'd throw it out there :)

Congratulations! You're joining the world of really bringing two distinct families together and it can be a challenge, no doubt! My experience is that these types of differences between families just go on and on. And the advice you've gotten is interesting to me. My brother had two middle names, one after each "side" of the family. He has found it awkward over the years. What I've learned is that things can't always be even or equal but you have the rest of your lives to keep working on it. With our naming - my husband and I agreed that I could pick the first name and he would pick the middle names. It's worked out beautifully, and the kids do get questioned in school, where did your name "come from"? My mom just liked it works just fine.

The other thing that I'd like to say is that inadvertently, in families someone is going to disagree with you and perhaps even get hurt. I chose the first name Alena for my daughter. I loved the name and I was honoring (at least in my mind) my grandmother Adelaide and her sister Lena. Lena had just passed away at 106 when I was pregnant. My grandmother had already passed away. My father, who adored both his mother and his aunt, was not happy about my choice of name. He said it was "made up and not a real name." He didn't think a morphed name was honoring anyone. But as soon as she was born, he loved her and loved her name. Interestingly, there are 3 girls in her class with the same name all spelled differently.

I think that the most important thing is that you and your husband agree on names that you both like and that are meaningful to you. You will be sure to find that they will love the child and then love the name. Another thing that happened in our family is that my mother actually came up with the family pet names. My daughter Alena is Lula-Belle... she hates it but she always answers to it and knows that we call her that with love and affection. My son Daniel's family pet name is Boo-Boo. I would have never expected that when I was pregnant, but names just sort of happen sometimes.

If you are planning on having another child you could just give the next one a family members middle name. You could try to diffuse any problem with your family before it happens. It is much easier to avoid problems than fix them. Tell your family what you have decided to name the child and then tell them that the two of you decided to give your child family names as middle names so the next one will have a middle name from their side of the family. Make sure you act excited and happy while telling them. If you tell them and sound happy about it they will not even think twice. They will understand that one child can not be named after everyone.

As for help with dealing with your husband...
When we were about to have our first child my husband really wanted to name her Zoey Cloe. Right then I knew I had to find a way to protect my child from a horrible name and still make my husband feel he had a part in naming her. LOL

I went through a baby name website and made a list of names that I liked. I brought him the list and said how wonderful the names were. Then I asked him to talk with me about the names and see if he wanted to eliminate any names. We talked it over and got the list down to just a few that we were both okay with. Then I told him to just go ahead and pick which one he wanted from the list himself. He felt like he named the child but all he did was pick a name from a list of names that I wanted. Everyone was happy. We did this for all three of the girls because he still kept trying to name each one Zoey Cloe.

M.
http://www.yourfunfamily.com

I agree with those who said there is NO etiquette. It's YOUR baby...you name it what YOU want. You have to carry it for 9 months, you get to name it (along with consideration for your husband)...but not for anyone else. Someone will aLWAYS have a problem with the name you choose. You can't possibly please everyone. And your husband needs to give YOU some choice in it, too! If you must give in to his middle name....then maybe he shouldn't have a say in the first name. I wouldn't be so easily coerced to let him have the full choice if I were you. You have to carry it..you have the final say in the name.

It seems all the aswers are pretty similar. In our particular situation, most of the first born children have a father side of the family name, and the second child has a mother side of the family name. But, in the end it is a decision for only you and your husband. We went with the tradition of our family, and we chose my husband's grandpa's middle name for our first son and my father's middle name for our second son. Just talk it out with your husband and see what works best for the both of you.

I sorry, but I think that his all or nothing attitude is horrible. Tell him that he gets total control of naming the child when he has to carry that child in his body for nine months and then push it out of a tiny, tiny hole. Middle names are hardly ever mentioned, except on official records, birth announcements, and when you want to show your child that you really mean it. I know a boy with 5 middle names, on most records and documents the only one mentioned is his first middle name. I don't know of any etiquette with naming a child, certain things like naming a son after the father or giving the child the mothers maiden name as a middle name are common. Just remember, your wishing to honor family members aside, this child has to live with this name for the rest of his life - I know a boy name Adolf because his fathers name is Adolf, and his father, and his father, etc... They've dubbed him Little Duff, wait until his 6'2" and 25 yrs old. Poor Kid.

What ever you do don't regret it or feel pushed into it, this your child and give him the best that you can give him when it comes to a name. I wish all the happiness in your impending birth. Good Luck. ;)

I have to agree with the others. Use Morgan as a first name and if it sounds good with your dad's name as a middle you got it made. I have 4 kids now and 1 more on the way and the middle names are all family names.
1# Elizabeth Marie - Grandmother inlaw
2# Ally Renae - my middle name (that was a surpise had no idea what it was, I didn't fill out the birth cert and all I knew was that we liked Ally)
3# Olyver Dean - my mother in law ( she had passed away 6yrs before so he has never seen her)
4# Ireland Frances - my dad's middle name
5# new baby - Ysabelle Christine (long time friend of the family) there were no other family names going back 3 generations that we liked

So if you know you are going to have more then save it. Let him be the big proud daddy. You get to name the next one. Good luck

Could you combine names from both sides? Put Morgan with a name from your side to make a new and original name. Even if it ends up being a little odd sounding, it will be unique and traditional. For example (I know you're having a boy, but...) Julie and Anne combine for Julianne. My friend did that and I think it is the coolest thing!

I was going to suggest what Heather did unless this will be your only child. Morgan is a good name for either a boy or girl. I was lucky because my husband's brother already took care of using his dad's name (BIL is a Jr and nephew became a III). My father is deceased so my husband couldn't really argue w/ using his name for our son't middle name and it really goes nicely. BTW, all three of our kids have 2 middle names. We started with the first (Conor Duncan Shamus) so we kind of had to continue with the others.

All your dad is going to care about is having a healthy beautiful grandson. Wait until your son is old enough to proud as can be about being named after his dad or grandpa. My son shares his middle name with his father and he thinks that is wonderful...he is 7. Nicholas John. My daughter has 2 middle names, Kora Grace Marie. I think the multiple middle names depends on how well the names flow, and Kora's are pretty simple to say. Grace and Marie are both of my grandmothers middle names and my husband grandmother has never said a word about it, she thinks the names are very pretty. I don't think you will hurt anyones feelings with a precious little boy.

You can have many middle names. We name our after our love ones that have died (sister diane, grandmother ann, mom jean and sister marie(her middle name) with cancer) dianna jean marie so its how you percive the name. You didn't give us the other choices to add to so i don't know your dads name or how to use it togethr

I am expecting and my husband and I had a similar arguement. We finally agreed that I get to pick the first name and he gets to pick the middle name no matter what name it is. I don't know if there is traditional etiquette on how to handle the situation but I would maybe talk to your father to see if it would affect him and maybe explain to your father why it is important for your husband to have that name.I have been trying to compromise with my husband more since he does sometimes feel a little left out in the planning. This may be very important to your husband and if it is important to him it may be helpful to see where he is coming from. We are expecting our first baby as well and have gone through soooo many names. Good Luck!! :)

My husband and I chose first names that we liked. He picked the middle name for our oldest daughter (from two names combined from his side of the family) and I picked the middle name of our second daughter (a family name on my side). If you plan to have another child somewhere down the road, just make sure he is on board with ANY name you might want for the second child. It's a compromise now, but think of how much easier it will be the next time.

T.

First off Congratulations and second............breathe. Hubbys have a way of making things stressfull specially when it comes down to naming your child. Belive me been there done that TWICE..lol.
My 6 yr old Taylor"after no one" Lynn"after my mom
My 3 yr old Jamie"after no one" Joy after my SIL"
We agreed that using any family memebers name on the female side was a good choice. But honestly you dont need to use family names for your kids if you dont want to.
OK you said the middle name has got to be Morgan in honor of His family, which is fine. What is your fathers name? Maybe give your child your dads name and use the middle name there problem solved. If hes still not going with it then tell him how is it fair that you use his families name and cant use yours? You both deserve a input on your childs name not just your husband.
If you wanna talk further feel free to contact me. And I wish you many blessings on your family for the joy of your new arrival soon.Hugs

Mom of 2 girls

Hi A.,

I know your husband will do two middle names, but I wonder, Why? W used two middle names, it's on their birth certificates, and on other paperwork we use the initials. All 3 boys LOVE having their grandpas, and late uncles names as part of their own. We told them that these men were so special to us that we wanted our children to have a part of them with them always. It has not caused ANY confusion, and they learned to write all of their names just fine.

When I was pregnant with my third, I was so sick of the debate, and also of everyone else giving us their 'two cents', I went around telling everyone that his name was either going to be Xanthismo (pronounced with a z in the beginning. It is Greek for yellow) or Bob. I told my husband this and everyone who asked, and I tried to do it with a straight face. By the time I came up with Owen, everyone was so grateful they let me go with it. We named our first Maxwell, but once he was born and in our arms, that seemed like too big a name for such a little one, so he turned in to Maxie for a while, now he is i n first grade, and Maxwell totally fits him.

If your husband is adamant that your little one have Morgan as a middle name, then tell your husband that you get to pick the first name. If he does not care for the first name that you pick, he can call your son by his middle name. The naming issue can be difficult, but it is a precursor for what is to come when it comes to compromises on how to raise your child-together. I have to say, naming my boys was the least favorite of all of my mommy duties, is is so stressful! Best of luck!, and remember, no matter what his name he will be beautiful, and he will be yours!

I don't know if this is proper etiquette, but in my family and many others I know, it is tradition to make the middle name of the first born son his father's first name. I believe if your husband has a tradition in his family, it is nice to uphold it if you have none in yours. I would think your father would understand that.

I hope that helps.

Traditional ediquette would be to use a name from the mother's side as the first or middle name since the child (traditionally) already has the last name of the father. It is a way for the mother's name to get passed down, ofter in the past the mother's maiden name was used as the middle name for the child.

In our house we used my grandfather's name as the middle name, luckily Robert is a common enough name to also have relevance on DH side of the family. Our solution to this dilema is he picked the first name, i picked the middle name (with each other's) finaly approval of course and for our next child we will switch.

If you DH insists on using Morgan for the middle name, you should have the choice of the first name.

Hi A.!
Naming a baby can be very stressful. Don't worry, the right name will be given! I have three boys and my oldest is now going to be 18 (this month). HE actually asked us "why didn't you name me Luka instead of Luke?" (we're Serbian. His baptismal name was Luka.) As for offending your dad, I really don't think your dad will be offended. You can compromise by using your dad's name somehow with your second child. (my dad's name was actually given to our third son (Petar Dimitri)for a middle name since my dad told me NOT to use it for my first (Luke Kosta) or second (Nikolai Stefan)...he passed away before our third was born) I truly believe tradition is important. Gees, in this day and age, it's nice to have a name that has some roots and it gives the child a better chance to be successful! Having two middle names is totally crazy...keep "Morgan Stanley" as a financial institution, not your adorable baby's fully-loaded name!!!

Here's what we did...we actually looked up immigration records for Serbian immigrants around the turn of the century. That's how we found the name Luke (as Luka). If you have a tie to your ethnic heritage, you can check out these types of records. Make a list of names that you like...including the middle name of Morgan (which is pretty cool and can be used for a boy or a girl!). Toss them around between the two of you. If you share them with too many people, you will get totally confused (and EVERYONE will have a different opinion!). And remember, when the baby comes out, you can always change your mind!!! For some reason, whatever name you come up with, it will be PERFECT!!! Hang in there and enjoy the wonderful experience of being pregnant with your first born! K.

Personally, I think your baby should be named whatever you want to name it - most people aren't going to get all offended that the baby wasn't named after him/her. If honoring your father is important to you (not just b/c you don't want him to feel left out), then you should explain that to your husband, so he knows how you feel. We didn't choose a family name for the first name (it's not really our family tradition, though) - but we did for the middle name. We used my maternal grandfather's name, as he is so special to me, and still around, so I wanted him to always know how important he is to us! Now, every time he says my son's name, he has to use the middle name - it's so cute! But I don't think my Dad felt at all left out - b/c the name isn't what makes a grandpa feel included - it's being able to spend time with their grandchild and form that special bond that only grandparents can have - and my son LOVES his grandpa!! He goes to my dad before anyone else :)

Good luck to you!!

P.S. My DH actually pointed this out to me - his last name is the "family name" and our son will always carry it ... (or so he hopes, LOL!)

Personally, I'd come up with a middle name from both sides and flip on it. Then you can tell your family you had to do it to be fair and no one gets hurt!

Hi A., My first son's name is my father's name and his middle name is my father-in-laws middle name. My second son has two middle names after both of my Grandfathers. Then my third son came along and we decided to just go with what we liked. I love the name Morgan for a first name. Does your dad's name go with Morgan or do you like your dad's name as a first name? I don't think there is anything wrong with using two middle names. My middle son thinks that he is pretty special having two middle names. It is alway hard trying to please everyone. I suggest not telling anyone the name until the baby is born. That is what we did and once everyone sees the baby and hears his name. They just accept it and don't try to talk you out of the name you chose. Best wishes.

Just an idea or two: First, if you want to have more kids you could always plan to name the next boy after your father somehow. Is there no swaying him on the two middle names? Or what if you talked to your dad and explained it to him? If you are religious and plan to have him baptized you could always have your father as the god father or one of them to make up for it? I hope you come to some sort of agreement with this. Thankfully my husband and I didn't have that issue, but I hope this helps.

A.

our son's middle name is after my husbands dad and grandfather and my dad's names (o'neal thomas). we wanted to honor both grandfather's and accomplished that. i am really glad we did it because he was our only boy. we went on to have two girls. initially, we were only going to use one then the other if we had another boy. we decided to use both in case we didn't have another boy or no other children. ~S.

My children are Renata Devin, after my mom's mom and brother. Emma Malin, after my mom's mom's middle name and my middle name.
August Theodore, after my mom's dad and my dad's middle name, and Isabela Petra Marina, after the other kids picking Isabela Petra after my husband's grandma, Marina after my mom's name Maureen. I'd say stick with a family name but find one that isn't going to be every other kids' name in the class later. I graduated from a small town here in Iowa and there were 2 Todd's , 3 Stacy's(different spellings of course) Morgan sounds like an awesome boys name that won't be so common. Unless this is going to be the only child don't worry about both sides yet. Good luck and congrats. Heck look at my name I'm all woman and my name is D.. Use another name for the opposite sex...I love being the only female D. that I've ever come across and I'm almost 40.

A.,

When we had our first child, which was a boy, his middle name was decided to be "Joseph"- my husband's dad's middle name (and also his grandfather's first name). We went with his father since it was my husband's first son. If our next was a boy, the middle name would be my father's middle name, Peter; if a girl, my mom's middle name, Louise, and if we have a second girl, then Nadine, his mom's middle name. As it turns out, we're expecting twins in August... a boy, and a girl. Since we plan to be done with three, we won't end up using his mom's middle name, but that's just how it worked out...

Good luck!

I think you've got plenty of good ideas here, but want to put my support behind the suggestion that you STOP RIGHT NOW any parenting-by-fear-of-hurting-someone's-feelings. You just don't want to go there!

You and your husband make the decisions. If someone's feelings get hurt (which I doubt in this case), you can just wait for them (the pouting adults) to grow up, or you can give explanations if you wish and think it might help. And yes, there are traditions about naming children, I'm pretty sure naming the firstborn son after the paternal grandfather is one of them, and many of the baby name books will explain the traditions if you want to look up and use them. But again, the best precedent to set is that you and your husband decide, period! ;)

After you go through labor he will agree to anything you want. but pick the name soon after delievery. It works, let me know how it goes.

I liked the more different names and my hubby liked the more traditonal names. What we did was go through a baby book and write down the names we liked, then we made one big list and worked that down to 2 names. We took those to the delivery room and when our kids were born we picked the one we though was more "fitting" for our new baby.

For our oldest we chose Vincent which is neat because it's an older more traditional name, but it's not really that common right now (becoming more so again), so we both won. For our second we chose Ian, not necessarily traditional, but we used the same method....I must have worn him down :)

As for family names..What would your husband think of using one of your dad's names (first or middle) and morgan...doens't matter the order.. Just a thought...my husband is named after both his grandpa's.

We're not so much into using family names, I didn't really want to offend anyone, but for our oldest he has his dad's first name as his middle, I just liked the sound of it. My second has a middle name that we chose just because we liked it..coincidentally it's the name of one of my uncles, but we didn't choose it for the family history.

Is your husband's first or middle name Morgan? If so, you can just say he's named after your husband and then it won't offend your dad.

Just a few thoughts.

My husband and I had a very difficult time agreeing on our first. After delivery he said, "pick whatever name you like!" You might be surprised at his reaction after he sees you in labor for the first time. :) Good luck.

My husband and I had trouble agreeing on names, too. He didn't like "Jerrod" because it rhymed with Herod, the evil king in the Bible. He didn't like "Steffen" because he had known someone with the same name. He liked the guy fine, but couldn't get over associating that name with someone. When it came to our daughter's name, he didn't like "Victoria" because there's a town nearby with that name! Sheesh! We did finally agree on names for our children, and I'm very happy with them, but it caused us some stress along the way.

One way I have heard other couples handle this is to have the Dad choose the name (or middle name) of the boys and the Mom choose for the girls. Or, to have one parent choose the first name and the other the middle, etc.

As far as your dad feeling left out, I wouldn't worry about that. You're probably planning on having more than one child, so there will be other opportunities to honor that side of the family. In my own family, my middle name is after my dad's grandmother, the oldest brother is named after my dad and his dad, the middle brother's middle name is after my mom's dad, and the youngest brother's middle name is after my mom's mom. Of course, if you want to honor all the grandparents, you're going to have to have at least four kids! Ha! Ha!

Hope this helps. God bless, and congratulations on your first pregnancy!

We used my grandma's name as our daughter's middle name - LaRue. My husband's side of the family didn't seem to have any problems with it (at least none that they said to us). They actually complimented it becuase it isn't common, went well with the first name of Sabrina, but still no problem to pronounce! The key is, we made sure to not tell anyone until after she was born, so by then it was too late to try to convince us to change it.

When we have our next child, I'll leave it up to my husband to decide if he wants to use a name from his side of the family.

Basically, he didn't like any first names I came up with so we ended up using the only first name he came up with (which I did like) and I got to pick the middle name.

I believe the traditional etiquette is to name the middle name after the childs grandfather which is what we did in our family. Provided the next child is a girl you may use your side of the families name. We also compromised to use anything that was the same down the chain of relatives that both sides could enjoy.

congrats on your baby!

if it really bothers you talk to your dad and get his feelings on it or if your planning on more then hopefully you can use it there. personally it comes down to you and your hubby's choice for the name.

you don't say where morgan is in his family, just that its on his dad's side. look threw family trees or family history and see if there is a name from your dad's side of the family that you like that way both side's are being used.

with my last son my hubby loved the name josiah. when we told his parents the name his dad was exceited because that was a great great grandfathers name and actually our son is the 4th josiah in the family. the only thing we had was that all my kids have a "y" in the name so we spell it josyah, and his dad told us we are spelling it wrong. but he got over it.

so maybe that is a possibility for you.
good luck and remember when it comes down it nobody is going to love them less because of the name.

Well My husband and I agreed that our son would have a middle name from my side of the family since the last name is from his side of the family. I think that is only fair. I would understand your dad feeling left out if the middle name AND the last name were from your husbands side. Are you planning on having mulitple children? Maybe the second boy could have Morgan as a middle name. That is what we did, My first son's middle name is Paul, and our second son's middle name will be Charles after my Father in Law.

My father-in-law is Thomas Dean, my husband is Thomas Dean. I said no more Thomas'. We have thought about what we would name our baby if we have another boy. We have considered Steven Thomas, which is my dad's first name and my FIL's First name (their middle names didn't work for me, Darryl Dean... ummm, no)

Just an idea.

Hmmm, my suggestion was going to use 2 middle names. We had a similar situation & so used both middle names. It may be odd, but what about combining the 2 names to make up one name. I don't know how it would work for you. We were going to adopt a little boy & he would have been the last our 4 children. My husband took parts of the other 3 children's names & came up with the name we were to give him...Checobe. (Like Jacoby) OR, put the names in a hat & agree that what ever one you pick out is the name. I don't know if there is an etiquette, but I think traditionally, boys get the fathers name or grandfathers name. If you are having more children, you do have a 50% chance the next one will be a boy & you can give him your fathers name! ;)

Good Luck

Yea, I wouldn't tell anybody the name of the baby until he comes. That's what I did. And it's like a lot of other people don't tell as well. If you are going to have more than one child this is easy just have this one's middle name be Morgan and then the next one you can use a name from your side of the family. But, if this is going to be your only child my suggestion is have the first name either be Morgan or a variation of it or your father's name or a variation of it and then which ever one you didn't use for the first name have that be the middle. So you are using both father's names. And like I said you could also use a variation of it. What I mean by that is like say for instance your father's name is John. You could use Jack instead. So the baby's name could be Jack Morgan for example. And lets say you use Morgan for the middle name this time and don't use your dad's name. And then you have a girl next time and you still want to honor your dad. Well then lets go back to saying your dad's name is John you could then change that to Jane. So then your daughters name would be (the name of your choosing) Jane. I hope I helped you a little bit. :)

Baby naming is a big compromise! I agree with your husband on the middle name issue--two middle names is very inconvenient. When I got married I chose to keep both my middle name and my maiden name as middle names. It is unworkable for credit cards, legal documents, forms, etc. Most forms don't have space for more than one middle name. We can't file our taxes electronically because the software doesn't allow for more than one middle name! Other than not recommending two middle names I think you both need to feel comfortable with whatever you choose and compromise. Good luck.

Hi A.,

Can I assume that this won't be your only child? If that is correct, problem sovled. You can always have another to name after your own father. I really don't think there is a true etiquette on this one, but rather personal preference or family tradition. If you like the name Morgan, there is a webiste you can use to find a middle name to go with the first name or the other way around. http://www.babynamegenie.com/ is the website. This is his firstborn and maybe he's being a little selfish about the fact that it is a boy (men always seem to be proud for their own name to be carried on lol). I would say let bygones be bygones and maybe let him make some suggestions of names to go with Morgan. And I was serious about that website, it is really neat. Maybe you guys can go through names together. And say the names outloud to eachother (along with the last name), I'm sure you guys will find one you BOTH like.

B.

Have you talked with your dad to see how he feels about it? He might not care as much as you think. You can always have more kids, too!

SAHM of seven

Hi A.! We have a boy and a girl. Our boy, Gavin James, was a name we LOVE and the middle name is my husbands. And our daughter, Keely Jolee, is also a name we LOVE and I had heard it somewhere and it just sort of stuck in my head. But her middle name is actually my middle name (jolene) and my dad's middle name combined (lee) just for the fact that he was SUCH a huge impact on my life, I couldn't imagine on not having him some part of it all. I guess what I am trying to say is that you have to go with what you like. My husband and I went back and forth for what seemed like forever on boy names! I would love something and he would HATE it, finally we found something we both liked. That will happen for you too. I just knew once I heard the names, that was what I wanted! Hope all works out for you. Congrats on your upcoming baby!

What is the baby's first name? Can the firt name from your family?

My daughter's first name is from my family & middle name is from my husband's family. Not because of "my family is better," but it made nicer intials.

A.,

If you let how other people feel direct all your decisions about your kids, you will make yourself crazy. Some battles aren't worth fighting. If you can handle "Morgan" as a middle name, then go for it. If you have another boy down the line, name him after your dad. Then it is even. I really wanted to name our last baby Hannah Grace, but my husband's grandmother died just before she was born and he and his mom begged me to name her Hannah Caroline after his grandmother. It isn't as pretty in my opinion, but sometimes family means compromise. And I don't hate the name, so I agreed. Looking back a year later, I am glad I gave in because I see how much it means to them.

Congrats on the new baby,
S.

Time to remember that it's you and your husband's baby and if anyone gets hurt because of the name you pick they'll just have to get over it. Since your husband doesn't want more than one middle name then the bottom line is you get to give your son 2 names and that's it. IF you have more children then maybe you can choose a middle name from your side of the family.

Here's something I want you to keep in mind: in the long run IT DOESN'T MATTER who the kid's middle name is named after. Trust me! Everyone will be so thrilled with the little guy that whatever middle name you choose will be insignificant.

They only other suggestion I can give you is to possibly blend 2 names. One from each side. Example: Troy + Christian = Tristian. But that might be difficult since you say your hubby is super traditional.

Good luck, sweetie =) And try not to stress too much! Enjoy this experience, you only get 1 first pregnancy.

Are you able to use your Dad's first or middle name as a first name for your baby? My DH doesn't like my Dad's names either, so if we have another boy I'm not sure what we'll do because I don't want my Dad to feel left out either because he didn't have any sons to give his name to. My son has my DH middle name, so we got by with that one.
I would let him know if this really bothers you. If you can't use your Dad's first or middle names as a first name then just explain to your DH that it would really mean a lot to you if your son could have two middle names. I would hope he would understand. My cousin did that with her son. He has two middle names, her Dad's and then his.