Can My Sister-in-law Claim a Baby Name?? She's Not Even Pg.

To be a little bit compassionate, just take it lightly and don't put too much energy into it. If you chose the name already then name him that. YOu already had it picked out. The truth is we don't know if she will have that opportunity to use it anyway. If she brings it up then let her know with compassion that it will be ok if she uses the name too. We know it must be hard for her to not have a baby yet. My sister-in-law asked me if it would bother me if she named her baby like my baby that passed away. I told her that it would bother me. She accepted it and let it go. I got upset that she even asked....I decided to let it go. Compassion and communication go a long way. We need to look at things from the other's perspective.

I vote to use the name you want. My boys are Ryan Michael and Jacob (Jake) Christopher. Good luck!

I say name him whatever you want. Who knows if she will still like the name when and if she ever has a boy. I had my boy name picked out my whole life and when it came down to naming my first son, I picked something completely different. I had 2 more sons after that and neither of them have the name I have loved of years either. None of them "fit" the name.

My sons are Dylan James, Aaron Joseph and Jacob (Jake) Benjamin.

I don't mean to sound harsh but thought I'd add another perspective you may not realize. She's having fertility issues & you are pregnant with your fifth? Let her have her name why rub salt in the wound. Is it really that important?

You have already gotten quite a few responses but here is my take on it. I was the SIL who was having fertility issues. My SIL was preg with her 2nd. They couldn't choose a boys name and SHE ASKED ME what our names were. She promised she wouldn't use it. I told her and the next thing I knew, I had a nephew by that name (different middle). I was a tad miffed. However, I GOT OVER IT. We found a different name when I finally did get pregnant. We had a girl so it didn't matter anyway. We are now trying for #2 and we aren't even choosing the same boys name that we had selected if my daughter had been a boy. I guess I am saying that name choices change over time. I can completely empathise with her and also understand your side. I know that she is frustrated that you are pregnant again. This is so hard for someone who has not been infertile to understand. She wants so badly to be pregnant. She feels like it is SOOOO HARD for her to get pregnant and it seems so easy for you.

Here is my advice coming from both sides of the issue. Go with your name choice but be VERY gentle in telling her. She can use the name also if she chooses but may be of the same mindset that I am. In families 1st cousins are harder to name the same name then cousins farther apart. Make sure that you explain to her that you care for her. Don't pretend to understand how she feels because unless you've been infertile (which by your comment of where the baby is coming from it sounds like you haven't been), you don't. DO NOT MAKE THOSE COMMENTS TO HER!!! She probably already feels bad enough about the way she is acting but can't help the way she feels. Just explain that this is the name that you love, this is the name that has been backups for your other children. She asked you what you had choosen so you didn't steal it from her, you had choosen it before she asked. Explain it like you explained it to us (without the negative comment about infertility). Hopefully she will get over it like I did.

One other suggestion. Have her get in touch with someone else who is or has been infertile. It really helps to talk with someone who has been there. Sorry to get long winded and I hope I make sense.

Of course, she can't "call" a name... but I urge you to think of it in another perspective. If you could find another name, it would be a nice gesture to your SIL. Even if you aren't her #1 fan, I'm sure you can sypathize with the fact that you are coming out with baby #5 here, and she hasn't had even one. It wouldn't hurt to be sensitive to her feelings about this, and if having that name is important to her, why not let her have it. Afterall, at the end of the day you will have five beautiful named children and she will still be holding onto a name. Why take that away from her? I do think your remark about "where does she think she's getting a baby from?" is a bit harsh...just my $.02.

While I understand she wish to have a baby in the future and may still use the name. If you want this name for your child and had it for previous backups andyou told her the name not the other way around use it. Be prepared for hurt feelings and a possible rift even if she never has a child. Names I like are Grant, Colby, Russell, Jonathon, and Tristan. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Oh for pete's sake. If she finally gets another baby, she can still choose your baby's name. They will just both have the same name, which is common in families anyway, as people are often named after others in the family. If she doesn't like that your kid has "her kid's name", her problem.

But it's because people (like your sis-in-law) are so silly about this that I don't tell people the baby's name until after the baby's been born. Good luck!

Don't be silly take the name. Why can't you both not use the name? A name is something that is stuck with you for the rest of your life. You like it, you use it. No disrespect to your sister in law.

God Bless and enjoy!

I say name the child whatever you want to name him. Tell SIL she is welcome to use the same name. It is unlikely your son and his cousin will be the same age, so it will be easy to tell them apart. Or you could call him by his first and middle name when cousin is around or use a different nickname (i.e. James can be Jamie, Jim, Jimmy, etc).

I had a similar experience in my family. 2 months before my son was born, we were told that my 16 year old SIL was pg and due a month before me. She wanted to use the same girl name that I had picked out. We both had boys. She did name her son a name that rhymes with my son's name. She also teased me that she was going to "steal" the name I was using, but I wasn't sure if she was teasing or not and was hurt. The thing that got to me was that I wasn't telling anyone the names I had picked, but told SIL because she kept asking and seemed very excited to be in on the secret. She was a teen -- I had no idea she was pg and name shopping when I told her. So, I was annoyed for a whole host of reasons. Now (the boys are 5 years) I so don't care about any of that whole mess. I think if/when your SIL does have or adopt a child, she will be so happy to finally have a child the name will not be such a big deal. Besides, you never know if she'll even stick with that name -- my husband always planned to name his son "Kerry" but then our son was born right before the Kerry/Bush election and he changed his mind because he didn't want people to think we were such huge Kerry fans that we named our son after him.

Some name suggestions: my brother's wife is great with unusual names. Her boys are Tavian and Gibson.

Hey M. B,

Congratulations on baby number 6, I think it's great! Go ahead and use the name. We have two girls and have made it known that we are trying for a third baby. My SIL (husband's sister) just had her second baby (and last), a boy, earlier this year. She named the baby after my husband knowing fully that we intend to name our son the same name should our third child be male. It has caused a huge problem between my husband and his sister, but they are getting through it. We still intend on using the name if we are blessed with another baby. I say go ahead and use the name for your fifth son and don't worry about it. Best of luck to you for a great pregnancy!

no she cant claim a name if she was preg. that might be a different story. best of luck to you.

You definitely can not claim names. If you like the name, I say go ahead and name your baby that, who knows if she will even have a baby...or a boy at that.
On another note, I do understand how sensitive women can be about names that they would like to name their kids or future kids. I have all three A names (Ayden, Ashlynn and Adler) and my best friend was pregnant when I mentioned that IF we were to have a fourth, I really liked the name Andyn (Landon without the L) she ended up naming her son Landyn. Which isn't even the same name...but part of me was upset that she knew how much I liked it but used it anyway...and I most likely won't even be having anymore kids! BUT, I got over it, and I'm sure your SIL will too...if she still wants to name her future child that, then there will be two in the family.

Looking at your responses so far, I didn't really need to chime in, but I also wanted to support you. Whatever the name is, it's unlikely your SIL's potential son would be the only boy in the world with that name. If someone outside the family is allowed to use it, then why can't someone in the family? She is being ridiculous and you should just go ahead and name your son whatever you want. Congrats and good luck!

I guess it all depends on the person you are dealing with and how much you want to listen to her complain about it for the rest of your lives. I have a relative who, when we were talking one night (long before kids), we realized we both had the same favorite first name for a girl. We decided whoever had a girl first got the name. Well, I had a girl first and used the name and this person still has issues with it I think. Also, my M. still brings up another relative of ours using her favorite boy's name (and this relative probably didn't even know it was her favorite)over 30 years ago...and my M. never even ended up having a boy! These issues aren't causing fights or even being brought up to the person who used the names, but they are just more reasons to complain. I personally don't care, think it's all ridiculous and wasn't for a second going to change my mind as to what I was calling my daughter, but again, it depends on how much you want to deal with. Good luck!

If you like the name, and your son is born first, then you get to use the name. If your sister-in-law likes it so much, she can use it as well. My husband's name is Michael, and his nephew was named after him. My husband has always wanted to name his first son Michael, so we did. At first I wasn't sure about it since there would be two grand kids with the same first name. It's not even a big deal, and my husband's nephew likes sharing a name with my son.

That's touchy. It doesn't seem like they are trying too hard to have the baby that she has already prenamed but it does open up the door for family tension. You're not being mean, you're just frustrated and for good reason. Think of it this way; she and your brother are having fertility issues. She claims to like this name and wants to give it to the child she is really hoping for. I suggest trying to choose another name with your husband since the only reason you are partial to it is because it's the only one your husband will agree to. Let your in-law have it. It's not really worth the tension during holiday get-togethers.
Our interesting name story; my husband and I just had a baby boy a month ago. We had a hard time deciding s boy's name. I have always liked the name Jacob and Edward is my father in-law's name. Jacob Edward was the name we decided on. So It has nothing to do with Twilight.

Hi M. B
First off Congradulations!!! Wow #6 with that alone you can name your child anything you would like.
Your sister-in-law has no claim whatsoever!
congats again
V.

Holy Cow! As far as I know, there is no official registry like the US Patent Office to register a claim on a name. Therefore you are cleared to use it. If there was a registration office to claim a name, all those additional Michaels and Jacobs and Ethans would be in real trouble.

I grew up knowing three Jennifers, big deal! And my daughter is Quincie (we call her Quin) and she has a much younger cousin (a boy) named Quinn. He just gets to be called "Little Quinn" when we're together.

And by the way, has your SIL ever heard of George Foreman? He has 10 kids and all 5 boys are named George! She'll get over it--especially if she somehow ends up with 6 girls! Good Luck! And call your little bundle that name you've chosen for him.

www.thosecrazybeans.blogspot.com

no. You are the one who is pregnant (and you're not mean!) if she's not pregnant and they haven't signed adoption papers, I say, too bad for her. You are the one with the baby on the way. She's the one who is being unreasonable. If she can't accept the truth, then she needs therapy. Maybe she is being jealous because you are so blessed with having all the children and she's not able to conceive. I say go with the name you want and she'll need to either accept it or name her child the same thing. (Do they have the same last name as you?) Maybe she can use a different middle name. Good luck

Should be your name! Tell her when she has a baby she can use it as a middle name, if she likes! Plus....who would know if she will have a boy or a girl!~

I have a some what similar case. Only I am the one that is NOT pregnant. Here is my story... I have been diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) and have infertility issues. My husband and I have currently been trying for 7 years to conceive. My brother-in-law married a girl whom he had known for a VERY short time and got pregnant within a month after they married. While having a phone conversation, he and I were talking about what they were going to name the baby being they had found out it was a girl. He told me they really liked the name Amberlie. After talking a while he asked me why I wanted to know. I explained my medical condition and how I was getting very discouraged but that my husband and I had been discussing baby names for a few years... since we have been trying so long. We always called our future baby Addie... short for Addison... To make a long story short after him begging me to tell him the name... and the name we had picked for our son (London Cade) when and if the day comes... and him PROMISING he would NEVER use it. They named their daughter Adalie and call her Addie... and are trying to have a boy to name him Kade. I love love love my niece but to this day I will never call her Addie. And I try not to think about it, but it bothers me deeply. It is such an emotional burden to try so hard to have a baby and it never happen and then see everyone around you being blessed abundantly with children... then to have the name/nickname of your hopeful angel taken away... my heart was broken. I have let it go... but it still hurts. So... being that woman in her shoes... imagine if you couldn't have your own child, and every family gathering or holiday when you see your niece or nephew know that you will never have you own little Max, Addie or Cade... It is very very tough!

I understand your problem. But there is always another side to it. I was a little upset though when my SIL used part of our boy name for her little boy (number 4) and I was pregnant at the time. We hadn't decided if we were going to use it for a first name or a middle name at the time. We had loved this name even when I got pregnant the first time but ended up having a miscarriage. We had always said we were going to use the name if we ever had a boy. She had asked me what names I was considering a few months before she was to give birth. At the time I didn't know if I was having a boy or a girl. She was due in Decemeber and I was due in April. When discovered the name she had choosen, we had just found out that something might have been wrong with our baby. So, when I heard that she was using our possible first or middle name for the baby I was a little upset when I found out my nephews name. But, after thinking about it I let it go and then found out I was having the oppiste gender, lol. I did however use the name as my little girls middle name. We have decided not to have any more kids because of having problems with all of my pregnancies. Anyways, if you do like that name I would maybe use it as a middle name. Or just have both the same name. They are cousins like someone else said. We have 3 of the same names in our family (when I was growing up). They just used nick names when we were all together. I don't know how close you are with your SIL, but try and talk to her and see what she thinks. Hopefully she will understand :)

PS I have learned never to tell anyone the names that I have choosen, lol. Not that it matters anymore.

I know you have a ton of responses and I admit I didn't read many but I wanted to add. I think if you have your heart set on the name then keep it. She has not right to claim it BUT...If you don't have it set in your heart it may be a nice thing to try and think of a new one. I say this because after many years of infertility myself it seemed as though everything baby was out of my control. I watched so many people have 1 then 2 babies while I waited for first treatment then adoption to finally bring me a baby. The only thing I had control over was the name and I would have been devastated if someone else used it. Not that I couldn't have used it myself later but I wouldn't have. Please be patient with her. Whether she admits it or not I bet she is jealous. While I was in treatment I HATED my sister in law who had four kids. Totally not her fault but it just represented everything I could not have.

Good luck and congratulations. I finally adopted my son and was able to give him my much loved name. I hope you use a name that makes you happy and your SIL finally gets her chance to be a M..

We're not in middle school any more. You can't claim "dibs" on a name. This trend has gotten ridiculous. There are plenty of people in the same family with the same name. My own family has so many James in it that we have "Jim", "Big Jim", "Little Jim", "Jimbo", etc. The name belongs to the child, not the parents. And, in this case, the pregnant mommy who needs an actual name for an actual child trumps the maybe someday mommy.

BTW, several years ago, one of my friends was in the process of adopting and we were discussing names. We both adored the same boy name. She thought it was really cool that our families, which are so close, might well end up with kids who shared a name. To her, it was a sign she had made the right choice in selecting us as godparents.

When we were talking about baby's names before I got pregnant with my first we had a name picked out and when everyone asked what it was we told them. I had 2 SIL that liked that name and it was "theirs". I will admit I told one SIL she couldn't use that name because it was my other SILs,or mine, but I wouldn't have cared much if she did. I may have still named my girl that. In the end one named her girl (1 year older than mine) something else. My other SIL was done having kids after 3 boys when mine came along (or so she thought.)She just had her last kid (#5) and it was finally a girl. She gave me somewhat of a hard time with using "her" name for my girl, but she got over it and found another name that she liked for her girl.

In the end you have to do what works for you. I agree with other moms who said she is probably having a hard time with you being pregnant again and her not being able to have kids. I can't say I know what she's going through because I haven't had problems having kids, but I have 1 SIL who had 1 child no problem, but has been trying to have a 2nd for about 1 1/2 years now without success. I also have a friend who gets very upset when she hears friends/family of hers are pregnant, because she has also been trying for quite a while without success. And she doesn't have the money to go for all the fertility treatments.

Lastly, when the baby comes you may (or she may) like something else. When my youngest brother was born my parents had 2 or 3 names picked out for him, but when they looked at him they both thought of a name (the same one) that they had never thought of before. When my youngest son was born we didn't have a middle name picked for him (not as important as a first, I know...), because my husband and I couldn't agree on one. In the end we took one look at him and knew exactly what his middle name would be by just looking at him.
p.s. my boy's names are: Isaac Benjamin and Ethan Alexander.

Tell your sister-in-law to go to Hell, get a therapist, or buy a dog.

I agree with Sheila S. A name is just a name.

I think she's being selfish (and maybe a bit jealous that you are having another baby while she hasn't been able to have any)... it's your baby so you should go with the name you picked out... besides, it's pretty common for cousins to have similar names. if she does wind up having a baby, she can name him whatever she wants and they can be called by nicknames or something when together(in my family i am known as "julie's chris" while my cousin is "linda's kris." it works well). :)

No she can not. It's your child name him whatever you want!

I married into an italian family so pretty everyone is named James, my husband, his father , my brother-in-law and so on..... we gave my 2nd daughter the middle name James, and we gave the name to our son also. His middle name is Rocco and that is what we call him all the time. I love the name Max!! That was my back up for Rocco. We have some friends that picked some cool boy names so here they are incase you need a back up.... Brogan, Cooper, Caden, and Rowan. good luck to you! and thanks for the giggle!

I had a similar situation with my first. I was a week away from my due date and we could not decide on a boy's name. (We did not know the sex.) I had really liked a name that my cousin named his oldest, so, out of respect, I called him and asked if he would be okay if we named ours the same. He said no. I was very hurt. We thought we would just use the name anyway if it were a boy, and then, when our little bundle arrived (a boy), one look told us that name would not suit him. We watched him for a few hours, and picked a back-up and it fits him perfectly. However, to this day, my once very tight relationship with this cousin is still strained.

Use the name as his middle name on the birth cert., but you use that name instead of his actual 1st name. For instance, my girl friend has a son named Robert Preston, but everyone calls him Preston (including teachers). I have a good friend named Carl Douglas, but everyone knows him as Doug. I guess this is a common practice in the south.

No, it's your baby and you can name him whatever you want as long it's agreed with your husband too. You're pregnant not her. She can name her baby the same if she wants too. There is no rule that cousins can't have the same name.

I have two boys...Joseph Michael and Matthew Vincent

I also have 5 nephews named Ryan Michael, Jeremy David, Justin Jon, Zachary Michael, Gregory William

Michael was popular because that was my Grandfather's name.

Girly, name your baby whatever you want to name your baby! Who cares about the names she wants. If she likes the name when she has a baby, the baby will have a cousin with the same name. Heck, all my great aunts names are Mary. They just have different middle names. P.S. You are acting so pregnant...LOL. CONGRATS!!!!

I loved the name Caitlyn for over 15 years. When my cousin (who wasn't pregnant at the time) asked me what names I was considering, I had given her both a boy name and girl name. She said she loved the name Katelyn too and claimed to have told everyone. I assured her that it was the name I always wanted too. I ended up having a boy the first round and basically told her who ever has a baby girl first can claim it. She agreed. I ended up getting pregnant again a whole year before she did. We both ended up with baby girls. When when we found out I was having a girl, she told me she was still going to call her daughter Katelyn. I told her that was fine because it's not like they would see eachother everyday so it woudldn't be a big deal.

Instead, she decided to go with Kailey. I don't think she is upset with me, but I do believe she she was trying to get me to back down on it. But in all honestly, if the two of you end up having boys and she is really wants to name her son the same name, by all means, she can. It wouldn't be fair to you to not pick it just because there is a small chance a) she will get pregnant and only a 50% chance she'll have a boy.

I say, don't give up on the name. Who ever has a baby boy first should always get first dibs on the name.

Good luck.

Oh, and if you'd like suggestions, please let me know what your other kids names are and I'll see if I can think of one that would go well with the others.

You need to do what is right for you, so what if she does get pregnant and has a boy and they happen to name their son the same as yours??? My brother named his son Robert (born 2 years before my son) and I still named my son Robert. My husband and I had agreed that we wanted to name our son after his father who had passed away when he was just 17. It can be a little confusing, but now that the kids are older they run around playing together they refer to the Roberts by saying their first/last names! I don't think your sister-in-law should be making any claims at this point and neither of you should be upset if both families end up with choosing the same name for their son....

Best wishes for a healthy pregnancy and baby, and good luck with maintaining family relations--it can be challenging at times, but take care of yourself and skip the drama!

Having a favorite name for a baby and actually having a baby to name are two very different things. You can't really "claim" a name, but I see the difficulty when two people in the same family like a name. If you have your child first, and that's how things look righ now...then you should feel free to name your child according to the name you and your husband have agreed upon. If she has a baby and chooses the same name...so be it. You did it first. It's not a matter of being a copy cat, but you two obviously share the same tastes in names. And yes, you did sound very mean and insensitive by commenting on her fertility issues, which you obviously don't have. She's likely holding out for some glimmer of hope and this special "name" is an element in that factor. Name your baby and move on. She might be upset for a short while,and that is unfortunate, but if she doesn't have a baby to name then..why should you not select the name that you so badly want.

This puts you in an awkward situation, for sure. You should name YOUR child whatever you feel is right. That said, you don't seem to love this particular name. It may be easy to let this name go, and, in the meantime, make your sister-in-law happy. A few posters said it nicely, she may only ever have a dream name to carry around with her. (I am really sad for your sister-in-law and can relate. She may feel that the name is the only thing that she can control with this very devastating situation. She can't control you or your choices, and this is why your empathy can make a difference for her.)

I appreciate that you are considering other names, and here are our favorites: Eli, Dante, Pavel, Evan, Malachi, Anton. Interestingly, we thought we would name our son "Eli" but he was already named "Octavio." It is a perfect name for him, and we absolutely love it.

Feel free to take the name. Names are first come first serve. She will eventually get over it. A name is a very important thing. Sometimes you go in thinking of a specific name and you see the child and you change it. You must go with what works at the time. She can live in a fantasy world but you can't.

Some suggestions: Liam, Mark, David, John, Martin(Marty)
This was my list of names. We went with Liam Vincent.

Good Luck!

Hi M. B,
My son is Brian Nicholas...we just made a list of boys names and girls names and tried putting each together to look at the initials and how they sounded...

Generally name choices are private and you can avoid heart ache in the future by just refusing to explain what names you are thinking about using...this avoids having extra help from your family because this choice belongs to you and your partner...

I agree with early post that you and your sister-in-law can both use the same name with different middle names...eventually your child may be called by middle name or by initials or by nickname...

Congratulations on expecting a baby!

C.
M. of 3
prenatal yoga teacher

My opinion would be to just give her what she wants since she is making such a big fuss over it and pick another name. Honestly, are you going to be able to ever look at your baby or call his name without thinking of this drama in the future? She's hurt and desperate for a baby, rightly so. Maybe the only way she is getting some type of ownership of a baby is to take the name away from you who has 5x of what she would die for...a precious baby. Two of my friends had their babies and the woman who delivered her baby first, chose to name her baby something similar to the baby name my friend picked who delievered second. It was not on purpose however and they are not the same names. The reasoning for this was because her husband and family fell in love with the "similar" name for their baby. The 2nd friend still to this day cannot get past it and doesn't even like to talk to the other woman and surely doesn't want to have anything to do with the child. Please don't chose to go this route. Take a step back and see that in the whole scheme of things, this is petty, especially when you have so many other choices of truly cute names. I know it's hard and you do see the yucky-ness that your SIL causes in other life situations, that us readers don't see. But, I think it will be a great lesson to teach your children-that sometimes it's best overall to be the bigger person. I hope that you can find a name that you will cherish and that will not be a reminder of any type of family fueds. Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy.

Don't worry about what she says. Name your baby what ever name you want. Its not her decision its yours!! You are gonna find that people either love or hate the name. Then you find people who have the name or want it. Your worry is not what others like,don't like,want or have! Name your baby what will make you and your hubby happy! Enjoy your last pregnancy;)

I have to laugh. The one boys name I like (Tristan) my hubs told me we can't use because his sister claimed it back in high school! She has an 8yr old daughter, is single, and has said NUMEROUS times that she doesn't want any more kids. Yet my husband still doesn't want to use the name.
Ugh it's frustrating. My rule has always been not to discuss names. Because people will always have something to say about it. And whoever has the baby first can use it.
With my first, he had a cousin who was due about 6 weeks after me, both girls. I made it a point not to talk names with them because I didn't want anyone claiming a "stolen" name. After our daughter was born, we found out they were considering her name, but rejected it because they thought always spelling in would be difficult. Its ridiculous, whoever has the baby first gets the name. Besides, when the baby is born, the name might not even fit.

No, she can't claim a name because if she does end up doing IVF she may have a girl.

I would tell her that you already planned to name one of your other sons "the name" and you want to use it for this baby.

Name your baby what you want. If your SIL ever has a boy, she can name him what she wants. There is no "claim".

Congratulations!

Go with what you want. My son is Dylan Matthew. It would have been Matthew except that my BIL name is Matthew. But so is my fathers. I have always loved the name Matthew so I used it as a middle name. Before that I wanted Ryan Matthew, little did I know that it was my BIL name backwards (Matthew Ryan). But in the end we went with Dylan Matthew. Go with what you like. Good luck and congratulations.

I agree with the others - name your baby what you would like. My SIL did the same thing only she was almost 40 and not even dating someone at the time! I had just randomly picked a name and was honestly shocked at her reaction "NO you can't that will be my Daughters name" Now 5 years later she is certainly not having a baby, is still single and I would have been so upset if I listened to her and named my Daughter something else. I would tell her matter of factly that this is the name you choose for YOUR baby she can name hers the same name I'm sure they would have different middle names. You have nothing to be appologetic about it's your choice - she will get over it. Enjoy your pregnancy and don't worry about it ;-)

That is HILARIOUS! You cannot claim or "call it". Tell her we aren't 10 anymore calling "shotgun".

Use the name! You like it...You use it!

D.
M. of 1 4yo boy and 3 almost 1yo girls

No one can claim a name.You name your baby what you want to.

M. B,
This must be an upseting situation in your family. I would say to keep the peace, pick a new name. There are many to choose from. I think maybe you need to have some sympathy for your sister-in--law. Maybe it is hard for her to be around you because you are pregnant and have children. I have many friends who have had fertility issues and it would totally be horrible to not be able to get pregnant and be around pregnant people. Give her a break! It sounds like you already don't care for her too much by accusing her of telling "tall tales". Maybe the name helps her have hope that someday she will get pregnant? Sorry, I am sure you are a nice person, but I had to comment because you want everyone's opinion good or bad right? There are a lot of cute cute boy names...Julian, Maddox, Owen, Evan, Eric, Brett, Quinn etc. Both of my sons have middle names that are after someone in the family. Do you have a grandpa/great grandpa with a name/middle name you like? Look back at your family tree. Good Luck! Life is too short to not be happy and let things go sometimes....enjoy your pregnancy especially since it is your last one.

I think that sounds weird and competitive. Nobody gets to 'claim' a baby name in advance. What's the worst that could happen- you and she both have babies who grow up with the same first name and they are cousins and best friends for life because of that bond? Honestly, who cares? Name your baby whatever you want!!

I don't think she can claim a name like that. Now if she was pregnant too then I could see it being an issue. A friend of ours tried that but they weren't even married yet and we were already pregnant. Here is is 3 years later and they still don't have a kid. We stuck with it and I think you should too unless it is going to make a big fight in the family.
I have two boys-Joseph Anton and Benjamin Phillip. Both middle names are after their grandpas. Hope this helps.
J.

If it's the name you're set on then that's what I'd go with. (My overall opinion about naming your baby is to keep the name to yourself until the big day--then nobody can tell you what you should or shouldn't name him!) But who knows-you might even change your mind later so I would keep looking just in case! I have 3 boys--Aaron, Brennan, and Brycen.

I say..name your son the name you want. If she were pregnant, it would be different. but just because she said she has always wanted to use that name, doesnt mean it is off-limits to you. she asked you and you told her. It wasn't like she told you a name and you took it.

No, I think you have to have a baby to claim a name. My son's name is Cade and it means spirit of battle. I love his name and think that it is masculine yet unique. Just an idea. People who are illiterate and cannot read pronounce it Katie. If that would bother you maybe it is not the name for your son. It is an Irish name. What are your other childre's names?

first of all, name your baby what you & your husband decide on & don't worry about your sister-in-law. I have 5 sons & 1 daughter - ages 27, 26, 24, 22, 20, 18. My sons' names are:
Matthew, Ryan, Eric, Adam, & Jason. I understand how difficult it gets to name a baby especially when it's the fifth of a sex. Then add middle names & it gets very difficult. The best of luck.
B. H

You have every right to name your baby whatever you want. If there is any other alternative that you like, though, you really may want to consider it, to keep the peace in the family. (It shouldn't have to be that way, but especially with her possible infertility and all, it's a tough situation.) If you do pick a different name, though, don't let it go unnoticed. I would say something to her like, "I want you to know that we are giving up something that really means a lot to us because I care about you," and make sure she realizes that you're doing it for HER. Good luck.

Personal opinion, of course she can't lay stake to a baby name. To advoid a lifetime of petty family problems, use one of the other four million other names on earth. Or make it a middle name or put her name in there somewhere. In otherwords she may never have a baby but why would either one of you do something on purpose to hurt the other? And since I could not have any more children with my husband ( I did with my first ) but did not go for any of the fertility specialties (my husband did not want to) I spent many a year crying in a corner. KInd of waiting for a miracle to happen. You know too many people take fertility for granted. My mother was pregnant thirteen times. It never occurred to me that something would happen that I couldn't have more children and I was in disbelief. The doctor said I was fine. I do not know your sister in laws background, but maybe that name will be the only child in her life she will ever have. So maybe even if she can't stake her claim, perhaps you could be kind and let her carry that name around inside her wounded heart.

I always tell pg girls to keep their name choices secret--I have seen too many situations where the arguments begin, like this one. I am sorry. You are dealing with a SIL who is very sad because of her fertility issues. I would talk to her and ask what middle name she chose so you could choose a different one. Then you and her can meet in the middle. Tell her that if she has a boy, then the two boys can be special buddies, and if she has a girl, your boy will keep the name alive. I guess I would like to make everyone happy. It may not work, but it worth a shot. Blessings to you and your new little one!!!

This is your child. You and your husband can choose to name him or her anything you want. You also deserve to enjoy this pregnancy and not have to be stressing about what other family members think of the name. It is really none of their business. And if your brother & sister-in-law choose to use the same name someday, that is their choice. Even if they do, the babies will have different last names so they won't be exactly the same. I don't have any boys so I'm not much help with names but there is a website called babynames.com that may be more up to date and have some ideas that aren't in the books. Good Luck and best wishes for a safe delivery & healthy baby!!

I made the mistake of listening to my best friend. She was furious with me when I told her my boy's name. I am Italian and my daughter's name is Liliana, so when I found out I was having a boy I wanted to use the Italian version of Lucas which is Luca. My best friend since third grade said that is my name and I call it. She was trying to get pregnant yet I was already pregnant and knew I was having a boy. She was having fertility issues and I felt bad for her. I wanted that name ever since I had my daughter. I knew if I had a boy that would be it. Well, I felt so bad that I picked my husband's first choice instead. almost two years later, my best friend got a divorce and never had a baby boy. She feels so guilty not letting me use the name that I always wanted. She is secretly hoping that I will have one more boy so that I can use "Luca" again. Don't let anyone prevent you from using the name that you really want. Nobody can call a name or own a name. My friend said that she was more upset about the name because of her marital and fertility problems and she just took it out on me.

I don't get this "reserving a name" thing. If she loves the name, she's welcome to use it. It's her business if she wants your nephew to have the same name as your son. But it's not her business what you name your kids. Stupidest thing I've ever heard (and her fertility has nothing to do with it - it's stupid either way.)

Well I have one birth daughter and I named her in part after my deceased mother (I made her middle name my mother's first name). But my sister threw a mini-fit saying she wanted to name her daughter after my M. - but she wanted her entire name. Well first of all she has two boys and insists she's done having babies, and second of all my daughter has her middle name my mother's first name so I don't see a problem with someone else having the same name as her first name.
I would say it depends on how much time your child will spend with her child - if she ever has one. If your kids won't be spending a lot of time together who cares if they have the same name?? Or maybe just differ the spelling.

I would tell her I'm sorry, that's the only name your husband condones, and just because you have a son with that name doesn't mean she isn't allowed to name her son that someday. Who knows? Maybe the cousins might think it's cool to have the same name and they could be good friends (assuming she has a child someday)

First of all she does not know if she will ever have a boy even if she has a child.
Second, what does it matter if you both name your child the same name? If you named your son after his grandfather or a brother it would be the same thing.
My sons name is Hans after my grandfather, my nephew is name Roderick after my father (still alive). What does it matter that you choose the same name? If you and your husband both agree on a name use it. Don't let her bully your with this name game.

God bless,
S.

Regardless of age or fertility issues there's no "name holding". So what if cousins have the same name anyway!

I have one son, his name is Brady. We love it, not too common but not too out there. Other boys names we liked were: Grant, Troy, Owen, Brody, Jaxon (Jax), and Traeden.

Good luck!!

I'll answer by saying this: in our family there are 4 "Steven"s (a variety of spellings) 3 "Al"s (variety of endings) and innumerable cousins named Luis, Miguel, Louis, Michael and Ted.

if the cousins end up sharing a name, imagine the wonderful instant bond they will share!

I want to name my son a name that was used by my SIL and my Sister (on a baby she lost). I was told they would never get over it if I used the name (it is a family name and I loved it BEFORE I was prego). I didn't use it as I didn't want any bad feelings about the name (although I RARELY see either party - like every other year). My MIL said to use it, but that is a life-long stab. I'd make sure you don't have bad feelings that will go w/a name - life is too short!

Funny, I'd probably understand your SIL more than mine - lol. Infertility is so hard, and dreams are hard to give up....You are blessed with 5 kids, I'd talk to her - and if she is stuck on it I'd consider giving her a dream name even it if never gets used - and tell her that will always be her boy (even if it is only in her dreams).

Names I like include: John Paul, Michael (love it), Benjamin, Mark, Nicholas, Bryon, Jude, Steven, Josef Charles, Andrew, Charlie, Derek....plus the ones mentioned by others...

Good Luck!

Poo poo on her! Name your baby whatever you want! It just frustrates me to no end when people act like you can't have the same names!! We named our son Zachary because it was a nice sounding name that we both agreed on and it went well with the middle name we had chosen. Plus, I had a student that had the same name. He was the kind of kid that I could see my son growing up to be like. God Bless you and your family!
T.

NO WAY!!! I say use the name you want!! If they do end up having a son who cares if they have the same name!! We had a aweful time naming our boys ( 2 so far) they are Johnathan & Nicholas but I also loved Noah & Landon!! Good luck & Congrats!!

No way! I say go ahead and use the name YOU like and IF she does have a child, then she can chose to name that child whatever she wants. Even if you have two of that name in the family. Who cares? BTW, we have a Nathan, Mark, Joseph & Bryan. Good luck!

You could always switch the first and middle names or spell the first name slightly different like Jon instead of John. I think both of you would be fine using the same name. Each baby is unique in itself. My son is named Lukas John, we also liked the name Rory and Cainan. If our second child was a boy he would have been names Joseph Michael.

No she cannot claim a name. And who cares if cousins have the same name. I have about 5 cousins named Michael.

My boy's names: Tyler Michael and Zachary Michael (My hubby's name is Michael, hence the middle names) Good Luck with your new baby!!!

PS- We never disclosed our names until our kids were born!!!