Shy Guy

Updated on February 17, 2009
A.C. asks from Springfield, MA
4 answers

How do I transition my extremely shy 2.9 year old from under mommy's wings to daycare?

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S.L.

answers from Boston on

Heya- I went through the same thing a few months ago with my little girl, same age as your shy guy. Does he have a favorite stuffie or blanket? Have him bring this with him and leave it at the daycare and it will be a special peice of home he gets when he goes there. My daughter has a blanket and a stuffed My Little Pony that are for daycare only. The first month was rough, but she made new friends, and has adjusted really well. She went from being super clingly when I dropped her off, to not wanting to leave when I came to pick her up. Your son will figure out that you (or Dad or whoever picks him up) will be there every day to come get him and that you aren't just leaving him him there forever. Try asking him how much fun he had every day when you get him, sometimes kids (I know my girl was this way) act like it is the end of the world when you drop them off and then 20 minutes later, they are running around having a blast. Any change is tough at this age, I was a stay-at-home mom and then only worked 3 four hour shifts a week until she was two. I went back to school in May and kept my part-time job as well. Talk about a transition for us both!!! Have faith, it will all work out- you're his Mommy, and if he is upset when you drop him off, feel flattered that you are loved sssooo much! He will find friends, and bond with his caregivers as well. Let him know that you will be with him every day after you pick him up, maybe devote some time for stories and cuddling when you get home, that worked great for us and do something special for just the two of you or just the family on your day off so that he knows you still love being with him though you sometimes can't. I hope this helped! Hang in there Momma!

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B.G.

answers from Boston on

Hi I think you should work out a plan with your daycare, if it is a center find one teacher your child can bond with in the beginning because it will be over welming for him. If it is a home based work with your provider, I am a home provider and have had several little guys that I have had to work with the families for the little one to come out of their shells. Let them know what their favorite activities are, this is what I do I ask what the child's favorite activities are and plan our activities for the first couple of days/weeks however long it may take for the child to feel comfortable and want to come back everyday. Our curriculum will be based around what the new little guy likes to do. If he doesn't like being in the "limelight" we don't let him feel uncomfortable at any point but we make sure he is made to feel wanted and special and that is what you should make sure where he is going does. Now when you drop him off the first(second, third etc.) day it will be the hardest and this is the hardest part talk to him before hand let him know you will give him a big hug and kiss and then you are leaving don't hang around it will only make it harder for him and the care giver, teacher. It is hard I know I too am a mom. Honestly they settle down very quickly, I always take pictures and email my moms shortly after so they can see their little one at play nice and calm and encourage them to call. Good luck. Be strong, remember this is a good milestone in his little life.

B.
Tiny Tots Family Daycare

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H.P.

answers from Springfield on

It depends on the type of child you have. I suggest trying a part time week then depending on how that goes moving to full time. I have some parent that stay for a while and other that drop and go. i find it helpful if the provider sits down with you and sets up a intergation plan. I like to greet the child and ask the child if they want to help me with a task or go with me to get a toy. while we walk out of the room the parent leaves. after abbout a week or so of that the child is use to the parent steppping away. the provider should provide suport to the child and remind them that the paretn will pick them up and what time. I hope this help.

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

My daughter cried every single day I dropped her off well into 2nd grade! For preschool they allowed me to stay in the classroom the first few days. I slowly removed myself (going to bathroom, waiting longer periods in the hall). Teachers engaged her right away (can you help me put out the craft). After a few days I simply left but came back early for 15 minutes. She got the idea that I am never far away. Occasional days I would stay as the "reading mom". In 1st grade which was a new large school the teacher and I agreed to leave her a small gift I bought on her chair for the first 2 weeks to get her to un-cling long enough to allow me to leave (a special pencil, a lip gloss, a key-chain). She sometimes would run after me and cry. She is now 11 and loves school, does well academically and socially, is still very sensitive,holds it together at school but occasionally needs a good cry at home at the end of a day (she'll get hit with a ball during recess but cry when she gets home). You know your little one best, talk with the teachers and come up with a strategy you can live with. Good luck!

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