Should I RSVP Next Time?

Only invite good friends -nobody else will care about showing up. I know it's rude but it's how it goes. I did a work party a long time ago had a similar experience. However, all of the friends parties, totally different story.

Good luck.

Here is how your post reads:

"So my friend had a house warming party and we all brought her really good gifts. So I thought, hmm, that's a great idea, so I think I'll have one, too!"

Yeah, that sounds like a gift grab. And if it sounds like that to me, how do you think it seemed to your coworkers? It's kind of telling that no one came. Sorry.

Do an RSVP regrets only.
That means only people who can't/won't come should call you to let you know that they will not be attending.
Maybe you could make it a pot luck house warming.
That way the people who attend will bring some food and you won't be doing all of it yourself.

I think maybe your first party was viewed as a copy cat party.
After people did gifts for one, they might be burned out to do another party just a few weeks later.
The timing was just not right.
I wouldn't expect anything like this to happen this time around.

I think B hit the nail on the head - to attend a housewarming party you are expected to bring a gift to celebrate the new house and these people at your office had just brought gifts to the last housewarming party which was just 2 weeks prior to your party. So I can understand that they didn't want to purchase gifts and for that reason didn't attend but they should have declined your invitation. They probably felt awkward telling you that they weren't coming to your party since they had been to a co-workers party so recently. But as another poster said - your timing was off. It was not the right time to have another housewarming party on the heels of the other one.

People that you work with are not necessarily your friends. I would invite people that I felt close to and that I felt comfortable with knowing that they would not be no shows.

Okay, a housewarming party means "come see our new home and bring a gift." So if everyone went to the coworker's house, they weren't ready a few weeks later when you duplicated the idea. That's an imposition on their budgets, and it was way too soon to qualify as a "company casual get-together because we all like each other" event. I know you think 2 weeks is a big window for people, but honestly, it's pretty short notice. That doesn't mean you can try an impromptu event, but you have to assume that many people will be committed already.

If people said they were coming and then didn't show, that's really bad form and atrocious manners. Hosts have to decide on an open house (no RSVPs, no start time, just show up if you feel like it within the posted hours) or a party with an RSVP. I dislike "regrets only" because you never know if those who didn't reply are coming or just not communicating. I know people do it, but it's difficult for the hosts. So I never do that - it's RSVP either way. If I don't hear from someone, if I happen to run into them, I say "I sure hope you will be able to come on Saturday." If I still don't hear anything, I don't chase people. I assume they are NOT coming, and I plan accordingly. I may have extra stuff on hand that doesn't spoil (soda, beer, nonperishable snacks) and have the pizza place on speed dial. But that's it.

Wasted food - sorry, that never ever happens here. I take everything the next day to a food rescue group that repurposes it to soup kitchens, or I had on down to the fire or police stations with goodies for the night shift.

So you're in a new place, you invite people you'd like to see, and you try to figure on having something during "holiday season". That can be a good excuse for a party, or a conflict with people's other schedules. You put "RSVP please" and I think you send a "real" invitation rather than an evite, although a lot of people like evites because they can get a notification when someone else replies/accepts. Sometimes that encourages them to reply, sometimes is discourages them if no one else is replying. I think it's best to invite people from different social circles - work friends, neighbors, old friends, relatives. Let your various social circles overlap. If you get zero replies - then you have no party. If you get 3, then you convert your plans to a small intimate dinner for those 3. If anyone else shows up, you stand in shocked silence at the door, then say, "Monica, what a surprise! I had no idea you were coming!" Then pause. Monica will fumble for a reply. Then you are magnanimous, throw the door open and say, "Well, come on in. We don't stand on ceremony here and we'll set another place!" From then on you are gracious up the wazoo. Monica will never forget to RSVP again, and you will be forgiven for not having enough expensive appetizers or wine for the surprise guests.

It's supremely rude to not RSVP unless someone has written "open house" so be careful with your wording. And invest your time in good friends and not in people with no manners or who travel in social circles where there is no accountability or consideration. If you've been burned once, just don't invite those people again unless there was a real misunderstanding, in which case a second chance is okay.

FYI on the wording - the host doesn't RSVP, the host "requests an RSVP". The guest is the one who RSVPs. You can look up the French meaning if you need to but it means "Respond, if you please." So it's the host's request to the guest. Which actually shouldn't be necessary because anyone with decent manners would know to respond. That's why some people put a date - "RSVP by Dec. 15th please:

I think you should just invite friends. Don't invite everyone in the office just because they are coworkers. If you are close friends with one or two of them invites those people only.

It is just kind of strange around here for someone to have the traditional housewarming. People just say come over for a BBQ and then say 'oh, you haven't seen the new house yet...would you like a tour?' Those attending the BBQ may choose to bring a gift, such as a plant, bottle of wine, bouquet of flowers, or might just bring a dish to share. I personally feel the same way about traditional housewarming parties as I do about wedding showers....they are an attempt to get gifts.

I wouldn't invite colleagues unless they are friends your normally socialize with outside of work. I would not go to a housewarming for a co-worker, unless the co-worker was someone who I would invite to a birthday party or baby shower or any other event that I would invite friends to.

So...socialize with your real friends and family. Host a party and invite them. Keep it a casual open-house...try to get a few people who you know are definitely coming, but otherwise I wouldn't bother with an RSVP. Also though, keep in mind that we're heading into the holiday season and people are really, really busy. Perhaps combine a housewarming with a holiday party? Do a trim-a-tree party after Thanksgiving and request that guests bring an ornament that you can add to your tree and remember them by? I did a trim-a-tree party in my first "real" apartment and although it was cramped, it was a blast and I still have those ornaments more than 10 years later.

I also like the "bring an appetizer or dessert to share" idea in that it may get people to commit to coming or not.

Who hosts his/her own house warming ( gift grab) and invites co-workers?

Nothing wrong if one throws a party for you OR if you host a party but not call it a house warming, etc because that screams bring a gift.

If you want to host a party, do so and have the rsvp for regrets only. Invite people to come mingle and enjoy each other without the obligation of bringing a gift.

How about a festive holiday party that you 100% cover for closer friends and family. There's no need for copy cat parties to one up a co-worker.

I Personally respect privacy of those I work with and we all work away from each other as I manage our company from home and have daily contact with my vendors and suppliers.

Keep business separated from personal contacts .. You'll come out better in the long run.

You don't want to come across as a gift grabber, especially to your co-workers.

Don't think of what happened before. Sounds like, 1) The co workers weren't actually super close personal friends of yours and 2) It was too soon after everyone bought nice gifts for the other housewarming party.

I've noticed for my friends who throw successful parties like this ( I don't even try to, too much pressure, I just have gatherings "for fun" not expecting anything.. I don't even have birthday parties :)

But anyway, I have friends who do this stuff successfully and they: Always put the invites out about a month in advance, with RSVP requests, and also FB groups and Evites, and they post a few "Please get back to us if you're coming so we know how much food to buy" type messages leading up to it. It's for friends, so no need to be so formal or mince words.

Also, they invite GOOD FRIENDS. Friends who want to see them, and friends who want to see their other friends. There MAY be a coworker or two in the mix...but only if they are GOOD FRIENDS outside of work. Coworkers are not great friends outside of work usually....unless they are. you will know if your coworkers are good enough friends of yours to sincerely care you got a house and sincerely want to bless you with a gift for it. It's kind of personal to me. Not such a work thing. I'm surprised it worked so well for other worker honestly, but maybe everyone just hadn't had a party in a while. Then yours was too soon. And YES, that was rude of everyone to just flake and not say anything. But without an RSVP, they didn't have to commit.

Invite personal friends for the sake of fun. Say it's a house warming party. They MAY bring gifts. Depends on the factors above.

The friends I'm thinking of had a "bathroom warming party" just to be funny after renovating their bathroom. They did not expect anything but regular snacks and wine to be brought. But they got all kinds of nice bathroom gifts in addition to the snacks etc... But again, they were from friends, not lukewarm coworkers.

A good rule of thumb is ask yourself for each guest "Would I want to attend this person's housewarming, and would I want to bring a gift?" For most good friends and family the answer would be yes.

it's been a LONG time since I've had a house warming party!!!

Congratulations on your marriage!! Congratulations on your new home!!

First, I would not invite co-workers unless you do things with them outside the office.

Second, I would make sure my invite stated what I was providing....and ask if they would like to share in a pot luck.

Third, I would ask that they RSVP if they are NOT attending.

Have fun!!

Yes, always do an RSVP, and send an additional e-mail close to the party date as well to remind those who replied yes to the RSVP.

There is a chance that some who RSVP will indeed not turn up after all. But you have to just deal with that; it happens with kid birthday parties and with grown-up parties too.

You asked for thoughts. From the post, it seems to me that you went to a housewarming that had office-colleague guests and you had a good time so you tried to replicate that by inviting office colleagues to your own earlier party. Frankly I don't see inviting coworkers just to invite coworkers, unless they also are people with whom you otherwise socialize outside the office anyway. In other words: If you like Joe and Jane at work but only see them in the office, and don't go out with them after work, or see them for dinner on a weekend once in a while, or see them at the softball league or whatever -- then why invite them to a housewarming party? A party is for your friends, and while some "work parties" are for colleagues to get to know each other, your own personal housewarming doesn't seem the right setting for that.

I think when you tried this before and were burned, your coworkers all may have assumed -- especially as there was no RSVP -- that you were throwing a big enough shindig that lots of people were invited, and they might have felt, "Hey, it's just a big general party and it doesn't matter if I don't come."

I'd forget inviting coworkers who are only coworkers and I'd share my new home with closer friends.

You can do an RSVP, but I'd also suggest providing a main dish (think crock pot chili or stew and/or lasagna or other casserole which you can freeze) and asking your guests to 'bring an appetizer to share'. This will make people think a little bit more about if they are coming or not and you won't have put yourself out on a bunch of food. Buy refreshments which will keep and that you like (beer, wine) and things like chips or other munchie foods that you can just get out as needed.

My personal inclination would be only to invite people you would usually get together with outside of the office as well as personal friends. Or at least, you can invite the office but don't expect to hear much from people you aren't regularly social with.

You should absolutely call it a house warming. It is a party to have your friends over to see your new home. most people bring a little gift (a bottle of wine, a new plant or flowers for the front yard, candles) etc. its not like its a wedding shower type thing. you don't register for it. so not sure why the previous poster thought it was a gift grab. But only invite friends. not the whole office. if you are friends with the people in the office by all means invite them. we did an open house type party for our house warming. we made a main dish and everyone brought a dish of some sort to go with it. we had a lot of people in and out. between my husband and my self we are involved in a lot of different groups, church groups, bookclubs, sports etc and we have a huge family. Absolutely no one looked at it as a gift grab. they were all happy we had a new home. I would also put an rsvp on it. because you want to have enough food.

I do not think that you did anything wrong in your initial party. Yes, it seemed copy cat but so what? If they were not coming,they should have RSVP'd no. It was not about the price of gifts--few coworkers would break the bank for a fellow co-worker's housewarming gift.

Yes, do a new housewarming and invite whoever you desire from work. Some of my closest friends are those from work. We spend 8+ hours a day together and have the same reference points when conversing.

Give folk 3 weeks' notice. Again, if they are not close to you, they will not come. Those who are close to you will come. Mix the guest list with at least 5 of your BFFs to make it a less "work event".

I hope your turn out is good. I do not see housewarming as a way to get gifts nor as a way to show off a nice home--I see it as just another party.