I am throwing my best friend a baby shower and I'm trying to figure out if I'm supposed to invite her mom, sister and MIL. This shower is going to be friend's of the mom to be, coworkers from mom to be's 2nd job and our coworkers (we work together). I know her MIL is throwing her a baby shower, but her mom is unable to throw her a baby shower. Her sister lives 2 states away. I'm assuming her MIL will invite her mom and sister, but of course I'm not positive about it. So my question is, do I need to or am I supposed to invite her mom, sister and MIL to the shower?
If there isn't an issue with their relationship? I would invite all and let them decide if they want to come.
Technically, her mom and her MIL aren't supposed to throw the baby shower. It's supposed to be done by friends or by a relative who's more than one degree of separation from her (an aunt, etc.)!
If you are having all of these people already, I don't know why you wouldn't invite 3 more people. Whether they are having/attending one on their own, they might like to see all the gifts, meet her friends, and enjoy the fuss made over their daughter/sister. Invite them, and let them decide if they can make it or not.
Welcome to mamapedia Ash!
Why wouldn't you invite them? If this is going to be held at her office during work hours? No. I wouldn't. If it's after work hours? YES!!!
Is there a problem with the relationship of the mom to be with her mom and sisters? Do we not have all the information?
It's much better to invite them and have them decline then to leave them out. This way, no one will be upset with you.
Is it a surprise? If not ask the guest of honor. She could let her mom know you are thinking of her, but don't expect her to travel for a co-worker shower.
It also could come down to cost/location size. I feel like once in invite one family member then 7 others could be offended if they too were not invited.
If you think your co-worker guest list is best among co-wrokers, then I think that is fine too. It is always nice to have the guest of honor's mother or sister there to allow you all to get more connected to her and her family.
Based on the parties I have been to, I do not think an invitation is a gift grab. In fact, it is amazing how much time and money is spent on the guests.
Personally I'd ask my friend what her preference is, unless this is supposed to be a surprise. If it's a surprise, I'd probably reach out and invite them.
It really depends on the vibe of the shower. I had a small, intimate shower with my friends for my first, and a co-worker big party one afternoon at work. My MIL was not invited to either. We did a family thing separately.
My subsequent showers were mostly friends and co-workers - and usually done at lunch.
You can just invite everyone. Most won't show up any way, but if they know about the shower they still might give gifts. If they show up more gifts for the Mom. The whole point of a Baby Shower is to give mother gifts for the baby. The mom will thank you for all the free stuff.
Your best friend should give you a list of all the people she wants invited.
Being her best friend? you should know her mother, right?
If you can't ask your friend then I'd probably invite the mom, sister, and mil. If the mil is throwing a shower she'll most likely decline your invite. If the mom and sister plan on attending the other shower they'll decline too. Better to be invited and decline than have hurt feelings over being left out (says the woman who cooked for 28 for Easter because everyone accepted the invitation lol).
Stuff like this can make people overly sensitive so you don't want there to be any additional potential drama at this happy time.
Ask your friend for a guest list (with addresses/emails) shouldn't it be up to her who she wants to invite?
Do you have a specific reason to NOT invite those three additional people? It obviously seems like a nice thing to do - as Diane B says, they might like to be included, and at the very least they might like the choice to attend or not. Leave it to your friend (the mom-to-be) to tell them: "Don't come, this is just a 'friends shower'" or something like that, if she wants to say that.
(I am aware that some baby showers become a bit like bachelorette parties with games that could make someone blush, lol - if you were planning on something like *that*, and that is your reason for not wanting to invite the relatives, just ask the mom-to-be for her advice.)
Someone here said that as her best pal, you should know her mom. I had to think of my two dearest pals-- one mom, I only met once and were in our 20s when we first connected as best pals. The other I never met her mom.
I'd ask her who she wants to invite. Usually the mom or a family member throws the family shower. Then a friend throws a friend shower. His family should probably have one too unless they combine the family one and both mom's fund it.
Your friend should be providing you with the guest list. Ask her if she wants to invite them!
Yes absolutely unless maybe it's a little office shower at lunchtime. That's different. If it's a weekend affair out at a house or venue, everyone gets invited.
Sometimes it's hard to juggle groups of people who don't know each other at all. She might prefer to have her friend/co-worker shower separate from the family one. Just check with your friend to find out her preference.
