Not sure if this is my funny acting mood or if I just don't feel like going through the motions. You decide.
My Co-worker has asked for my address because an ex co-worker has asked to send me an invite to a house warming that she is scheduled to have. I have no desire to attend or for the ex co-worker to have my info. My inside is screaming Heck to the NO! These ladies talk about each other ect... and it is enough to work with them, I can handle that but outside work is a NOT!!!
They constantly invite me to things and I started out by just a polite Thanks for the invite and when I do not show up I get the 3rd degree as to why & my response is I never committed to going. Than it went to a simple no thank you and an occasional we have plans. I have no desire to attend their outings just for the sake of going to get along! but I also do not want to be rude and say I have no desire to kick it with you guys outside of this place.
I thought after all the no thank you's and no show's they would say forget her! HELP ME HELP THEM TO SAY THAT! LOL!
It is the simple case of I know what I want in friendships and associates and what they offter is just not for me and I am not desperate enough to go through any motions. shux I have you guys!
How should I respond to my current co-worker asking for my info to pass on to the ex-coworker in a poite but stern way?
When the co worker first asked me for my info and for what reason I responded to her to hold on and she has not mentioned it again yet. If she does I will simply say "tell her Thank you for the invite but no thanks".
Just say, "My weekends and evenings are for family only. I know, boring, but this is my life. Thanks for the offer! Have fun at the party!"
Do you have an e-mail address you're willing to offer? You can say you don't like mail and would prefer the more ecologically-minded evite.
I have co-workers that are home bodies. I have small kids, so I have to miss alot of the stuff the others do.
I see no shame in saying, "I don't get enough time with my family as it is, we're pretty much home bodies, but yall have fun."
I would simply respond with something along the lines of " i prefer to keep my business relationships and my personal relationships serperate, therefore i would rather not socialize with people i currently or have previously worked with during personal time that i could be spending with my family". make sure to send a thank you for thinking of you (although in all honesty she may be inviting a lot of people in hopes of getting many housewarming gifts, i have known people in the past who have done this)
I would try being a bit more direct. I'd say something to the effect that your life is busy right now so that you don't have time for social interactions outside the office. Say that you appreciate their invitations. Suggest you'll let her know if you're available for activities. Emphasize her thoughtfulness in making the invitation.
Later Yes, I've said no thank you to invites. I worked in an office where get togethers were common. It was assumed that everyone was invited but once in awhile someone would make a point of asking me to go. I often said no, thank you. Just that. And then I didn't think about it any more. I did go to some of the parties and had a good time.
I'm not back in the work force yet, but this still happens to me regularly with certain people I simply don't want to spend time with.
"That sounds like fun, but weekends are reserved for family events. We also tend to run all of our errands on weekends together. I don't like to give that time up, so while I appreciate the offer I'm going to have to decline."
I don't think you need to be stern about it. Just ask them to send it to you at work and then politely RSVP your regret.
I'll save you the stamp - I'm just not a party type of girl. Tell Suzy to have fun, I'll be thinking of her.
I would just say, oh thank you for thinking of me....I don't give out my personal info at work though.If she wants to send me the invite, email it to _______. Stand strong!
I'm like you - I don't want to burn bridges or make an already awkward situation worse. If you know the date of the party, say "Oh, we're going out of town to meet with old college friends that day" [and then] - "I don't know what we're doing yet - my friends are making arrangements. Have a good time at the housewarming." Send a plant and a note with your collegues that are attending.
I would just tell the co-worker something like "I'm not interested in going, so no, you can not have my address." And then walk away. If the co-worker hollers at you or tries to confront you, you can do one of two things. You can either ask her "I thought I made my point when I said no. This isn't a discussion and I'm not interested in hanging out with you." Or, you can stop and say something about you're really busy these days with the kids and hubby and you just don't have time to go out and attend parties. It's just not your scene anymore.
I would say I don't like giving out my home address to anyone but she could send the invite to work. Then when you get it, decline saying you already have plans. Good luck.
I second the "have her send it to me at work" answer :)
My situation exactly when I was in the work force. Same job for 23 years...and most of the girls had been there anywhere from 5 to 15 years. I liked them all...of course alot of talking about each other behind backs....but even with that I think everyone really did like each other. I was like you....I rarely did anything outside of work with them. Like I was invited to there grandchildrens birthday parties...going out bars...going to each others house....it just wasn't for me. And yes....when Monday morning came...I had to hear it. I once told them that I rarely had any friends outside of my sisters...that I was a very private person. They would always tease me about showing up at my house for dinner or a cookout....but it never happened. The invites never really ended...and yes it was embarrassing to not show up or feel like I had to be there....but like I said....I rarely did anything with them. It was just how I am. I used to think about having a ready made excuse to tell them....but they always seemed to catch me off guard. Why would I want to buy a baby shower gift for someones sons girlfriend I had never met, just because she was young and her parents didn't wanna help out...neither of them had a job...and she "hadn't bought anything for the baby yet"? Get what I mean?
You say "To be honest, I'd rather not. I have a full life and value the free time I do have, and I want to spend it with my close friends and family." You don't need to tell them WHY (being uncomfortable giving them that info...etc), just firmly say no. Its obvious that they don't pick up on your hints, and its quite possible they never will. Either you make a strong statement to them now, or you say no to each time they ask you. Whatever you're comfortable with.
Give her the mailing info, and when it's time to rsvp, just say you have other plans, and sorry, you can't attend. Oh--I see you don't want the ex coworker to have your address. Just tell her that's a bad day/weekend/time for you anyway.
It CAN be weird when the coworker and friend lines blur. But maybe once in a while, you could go to something? Just in the interest of good working relationships?
If your phone number and address are published, then just give your address and politley decline the invite when you receive it. It's the mature thing to do and you don't have to put your coworker in an awkward situation.
If you keep declining, they will eventually get the hint. Or maybe not. BUt just decline politely.
Do you know the date? If so, just say that "we're busy that day, so I won't be going, so save the paper and don't worry about the invite."
